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How Great Leaders Deal with the Feeling of Guilt

How Great Leaders Deal with the Feeling of Guilt

The leadership environment of today’s business world is highly demanding, fast-paced, and multifaceted. In order to survive, a great leader must possess the ability to adapt to change. There are many excellent leaders all over the world who are creating stable organizations, but you will never hear about most of these leaders because they are motivated and devoted to their jobs instead of making a name for themselves.

Great leaders are commonly well-defined by their achievements, strategies and smart decisions. But according to new research, an individual’s ability to lead may have a lot to do with how he or she deals with mistakes. Leaders are human and they make mistakes, but ultimately, they are responsible for their actions and for resolving their own guilt. For a leader, the guilt goes along with the glory; they always need to learn from it to become a better leader.

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So how do leaders deal with the guilt that could be dragging them down?

1. They assess the impact.

The purpose of this exercise is to help you bring serious thought to how your actions impact others; this will help you avoid similar issues in the future. Most of the time, people are not aware of what is causing their guilt. By assessing the impact of your choices, you will be able to examine the kinds of values and actions you were expected to embody as a leader. Later, when you are asked to describe the situation which caused you to experience guilt, you will be in a better position to respond as a leader.

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2. They learn from behavior.

To deal with guilt, you must not only think of it as a bad feeling or liability. The feeling of guilt always grabs your attention so that you can learn something from the experience. By examining and studying own behavior, you’ll be less likely do it again in the future. If you’ve unintentionally said something insulting or wrong to another person, you should (a) apologize to that person and (b) in the future, think a little more before talking.

3. They make possible amends or changes.

You should always look for a way to take action and fix the problem. While many of us are gluttons for self-punishment, enduring guilt pushes us down as we move forward in life. It’s better to make something right, to take action no matter how long it takes to clean up your mess and minimize the damage.

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4. They consider it a learning experience.

Life is full of continuous learning. Most situations in life, particularly the negative ones, are intended to teach us lessons. This feeling of guilt teaches you that as long as you keep repeating that specific action, you will end up with same effects of guilt and shame. So, learn from your mistakes. Let it become a point of reference to prevent future occurrences of the same events.

5. They share the responsibility.

When assessing responsibility, it’s important to consider the other person’s part in the situation as well. While assessing the damage caused by some specific mistake, share the responsibility with the other person involved. A stakeholder chooses to participate and recognizes the risks. This exercise isn’t about passing blame, but accepting and acknowledging that you and those responsible did the best you could with the available resources and information. Learn from it, forgive yourself and others, and let your leadership skills flourish!

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6. They accept it, but move on.

If you made some mistake or disappointed someone, you need to realize that you cannot change the past. The thing you can do is make adjustments in your behavior, if and when it’s appropriate. Try to apologize or make up for the unfortunate actions in a timely manner, but then let it go. The more you put emphasis on believing you can do something more, the more it will continue to bother you and interfere with your performance.

Featured photo credit: navixmarketplace.com via navixmarketplace.com

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Tayyab Babar

Tayyab is a PR/Marketing consultant. He writes about work, productivity and tech tips at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on March 31, 2020

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How To Break the Procrastination Cycle

How often do you find yourself procrastinating? Do you wish you could procrastinate less? We all know how debilitating procrastination can make us feel, and it seems to be a challenge we all share. Procrastination is one of the biggest hindrances to moving forward and doing the things that we want to in life.

There are many reasons why you might be procrastinating, and sometimes, it is really difficult to pinpoint why. You might be procrastinating because of something related to the past, present, or future (they are all intertwined), or it could be as simple as biological factors. Whatever the reason, most of us follow a cycle when we procrastinate, from the moment we decide to do something to actually getting it done, or in this case, not getting it done.

The Vicious Procrastination Cycle

For some reason, it helps to understand that we all go through the same thing, even though we often feel like the only person in the world who struggles with this. Do you resonate with the cycle below?

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it!

2. Apprehension Starts to Come Up

The beginning stages of optimism are starting to fade. There is still time, but you haven’t done anything yet, and you start to feel uneasy. You realize that you actually have to do something to get it done, and that good intentions are not enough.

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3. Still No Action

More time has passed. You still haven’t taken any action and probably have a lot of excuses why. You start to panic a little and wish you had started sooner. Your panic starts to turn into frustration and perhaps even irritability.

4. Flicker of Hope Left

You can still make it; there is a little time left and you ponder how you are going to get it done. The rush you get from leaving your task until the last minute gives you a flicker of hope. There is still time; you can do this!

5. Fading Quickly

Your hope starts to quickly fade as you try desperately to understand why you just can’t do this. You may feel desperate and have thoughts like, “What is wrong with me?” and “Why do I ALWAYS do this?” You feel discouraged, or perhaps angry and resentful at yourself.

6. Vow to Yourself

Once the feeling of anger or disappointment disappears, you most likely swear to yourself that this will never happen again; that this was the last time and next time will be different.

Does this sound like you? Is the next time different? I understand the devastating effect that procrastination has on many lives, and for some, it is a really serious problem. You also have, on the other hand, those who procrastinate but it doesn’t affect them in any way. You know whether it is affecting you or not and whether it undermines your results.

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How to Break the Procrastination Cycle

Unless you break the cycle, you will keep reinforcing it!

To break the cycle, you need to change the sequence of events. Here is my suggestion on how you can effectively break the vicious cycle you are in!

1. Feeling Eager and Energized

This is when you commit to taking a new action or getting something done. You are feeling confident and optimistic that, this time round, you will do it! The first stage is always the same.

2. Plan

Thinking alone will not help; you need to plan your actions. I always put my deadlines one or two days in advance because you know Murphy’s Law! Take into consideration everything that you need to do, how long it will take you, and what you will need to get it done, then plan the individual steps.

3. Resistance

Just because you planned doesn’t mean that this time is guaranteed to be different. You will most likely still feel the resistance so expect this. This stage is key to identifying why you are procrastinating, so when you feel the resistance, try to identify it immediately.

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What is causing you to hesitate in this moment? What do you feel?  Write them down if it helps.

4. Confront Those Feelings

Once you have identified what could possibly be holding you back, for example, fear of failure, lack of motivation, etc. You need to work on lessening the resistance.

Ask yourself, “What do I need to do to move forward? What would make it easier?” If you find that you fear something, overcoming that fear is not something that will happen overnight — keep this in mind.

5. Put Results Before Comfort

You need to keep moving forward and put results before comfort. Take action, even if it is only for 10 minutes. The key is to break the cycle and not reinforce it. You have more control that you think.

6. Repeat

Repeat steps 3-5 until you achieve what you first set out to do.

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Final Thoughts

Change doesn’t happen overnight, and if you have some deeper underlying reasons why you procrastinate, it may take longer to finally break the cycle.

If procrastination is holding you back in life, it is better to deal with it now than to deal with the negative consequences later on. It is not a question of comfort anymore; it is a question of results. What is more important to you?

Learn more about how to stop procrastinating here: What Is Procrastination and How to Stop It (The Complete Guide)

Featured photo credit: Luke Chesser via unsplash.com

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