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How Great Leaders Deal with the Feeling of Guilt

How Great Leaders Deal with the Feeling of Guilt

The leadership environment of today’s business world is highly demanding, fast-paced, and multifaceted. In order to survive, a great leader must possess the ability to adapt to change. There are many excellent leaders all over the world who are creating stable organizations, but you will never hear about most of these leaders because they are motivated and devoted to their jobs instead of making a name for themselves.

Great leaders are commonly well-defined by their achievements, strategies and smart decisions. But according to new research, an individual’s ability to lead may have a lot to do with how he or she deals with mistakes. Leaders are human and they make mistakes, but ultimately, they are responsible for their actions and for resolving their own guilt. For a leader, the guilt goes along with the glory; they always need to learn from it to become a better leader.

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So how do leaders deal with the guilt that could be dragging them down?

1. They assess the impact.

The purpose of this exercise is to help you bring serious thought to how your actions impact others; this will help you avoid similar issues in the future. Most of the time, people are not aware of what is causing their guilt. By assessing the impact of your choices, you will be able to examine the kinds of values and actions you were expected to embody as a leader. Later, when you are asked to describe the situation which caused you to experience guilt, you will be in a better position to respond as a leader.

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2. They learn from behavior.

To deal with guilt, you must not only think of it as a bad feeling or liability. The feeling of guilt always grabs your attention so that you can learn something from the experience. By examining and studying own behavior, you’ll be less likely do it again in the future. If you’ve unintentionally said something insulting or wrong to another person, you should (a) apologize to that person and (b) in the future, think a little more before talking.

3. They make possible amends or changes.

You should always look for a way to take action and fix the problem. While many of us are gluttons for self-punishment, enduring guilt pushes us down as we move forward in life. It’s better to make something right, to take action no matter how long it takes to clean up your mess and minimize the damage.

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4. They consider it a learning experience.

Life is full of continuous learning. Most situations in life, particularly the negative ones, are intended to teach us lessons. This feeling of guilt teaches you that as long as you keep repeating that specific action, you will end up with same effects of guilt and shame. So, learn from your mistakes. Let it become a point of reference to prevent future occurrences of the same events.

5. They share the responsibility.

When assessing responsibility, it’s important to consider the other person’s part in the situation as well. While assessing the damage caused by some specific mistake, share the responsibility with the other person involved. A stakeholder chooses to participate and recognizes the risks. This exercise isn’t about passing blame, but accepting and acknowledging that you and those responsible did the best you could with the available resources and information. Learn from it, forgive yourself and others, and let your leadership skills flourish!

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6. They accept it, but move on.

If you made some mistake or disappointed someone, you need to realize that you cannot change the past. The thing you can do is make adjustments in your behavior, if and when it’s appropriate. Try to apologize or make up for the unfortunate actions in a timely manner, but then let it go. The more you put emphasis on believing you can do something more, the more it will continue to bother you and interfere with your performance.

Featured photo credit: navixmarketplace.com via navixmarketplace.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Learn Faster and Remember More

You go to the gym to train your muscles. You run outside or go for hikes to train your endurance. Or, maybe you do neither of those, but still wish you exercised more.

Well, here is how to train one of the most important parts of your body: your brain.

When you train your brain, you will:

  • Avoid embarrassing situations. You remember his face, but what was his name?
  • Be a faster learner in all sorts of different skills. No problem for you to pick up a new language or new management skill.
  • Avoid diseases that hit as you get older. Alzheimer’s will not be affecting you.

So how to train your brain and improve your cognitive skills?

1. Work your memory

Twyla Tharp, a NYC-based renowned choreographer has come up with the following memory workout:

When she watches one of her performances, she tries to remember the first twelve to fourteen corrections she wants to discuss with her cast without writing them down.

If you think this is anything less than a feat, then think again. In her book The Creative Habit she says that most people cannot remember more than three.

The practice of both remembering events or things and then discussing them with others has actually been supported by brain fitness studies.

Memory activities that engage all levels of brain operation—receiving, remembering and thinking—help to improve the function of the brain.

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Now, you may not have dancers to correct, but you may be required to give feedback on a presentation, or your friends may ask you what interesting things you saw at the museum. These are great opportunities to practically train your brain by flexing your memory muscles.

What is the simplest way to help yourself remember what you see? Repetition.

For example, say you just met someone new:

“Hi, my name is George”

Don’t just respond with, “Nice to meet you”. Instead, say, “Nice to meet you George.”

Got it? Good.

2. Do something different repeatedly

By actually doing something new over and over again, your brain wires new pathways that help you do this new thing better and faster.

Think back to when you were three years old. You surely were strong enough to hold a knife and a fork just fine. Yet, when you were eating all by yourself, you were creating a mess.

It was not a matter of strength, you see. It was a matter of cultivating more and better neural pathways that would help you eat by yourself just like an adult does.

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And guess what? With enough repetition you made that happen!

But how does this apply to your life right now?

Say you are a procrastinator. The more you don’t procrastinate, the more you teach your brain not to wait for the last minute to make things happen.

Now, you might be thinking “Duh, if only not procrastinating could be that easy!”

Well, it can be. By doing something really small, that you wouldn’t normally do, but is in the direction of getting that task done, you will start creating those new precious neural pathways.

So if you have been postponing organizing your desk, just take one paper and put in its right place. Or, you can go even smaller. Look at one piece of paper and decide where to put it: Trash? Right cabinet? Another room? Give it to someone?

You don’t actually need to clean up that paper; you only need to decide what you need to do with it.

That’s how small you can start. And yet, those neural pathways are still being built. Gradually, you will transform yourself from a procrastinator to an in-the-moment action taker.

3. Learn something new

It might sound obvious, but the more you use your brain, the better its going to perform for you.

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For example, learning a new instrument improves your skill of translating something you see (sheet music) to something you actually do (playing the instrument).

Learning a new language exposes your brain to a different way of thinking, a different way of expressing yourself.

You can even literally take it a step further, and learn how to dance. Studies indicate that learning to dance helps seniors avoid Alzheimer’s. Not bad, huh?

4. Follow a brain training program

The Internet world can help you improve your brain function while lazily sitting on your couch. A clinically proven program like BrainHQ can help you improve your memory, or think faster, by just following their brain training exercises.

5. Work your body

You knew this one was coming didn’t you? Yes indeed, exercise does not just work your body; it also improves the fitness of your brain.

Even briefly exercising for 20 minutes facilitates information processing and memory functions. But it’s not just that–exercise actually helps your brain create those new neural connections faster. You will learn faster, your alertness level will increase, and you get all that by moving your body.

Now, if you are not already a regular exerciser, and already feel guilty that you are not helping your brain by exercising more, try a brain training exercise program like Exercise Bliss.

Remember, just like we discussed in #2, by training your brain to do something new repeatedly, you are actually changing yourself permanently.

6. Spend time with your loved ones

If you want optimal cognitive abilities, then you’ve got to have meaningful relationships in your life.  Talking with others and engaging with your loved ones helps you think more clearly, and it can also lift your mood.

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If you are an extrovert, this holds even more weight for you. At a class at Stanford University, I learned that extroverts actually use talking to other people as a way to understand and process their own thoughts.

I remember that the teacher told us that after a personality test said she was an extrovert, she was surprised. She had always thought of herself as an introvert. But then, she realized how much talking to others helped her frame her own thoughts, so she accepted her new-found status as an extrovert.

7. Avoid crossword puzzles

Many of us, when we think of brain fitness, think of crossword puzzles. And it’s true–crossword puzzles do improve our fluency, yet studies show they are not enough by themselves.

Are they fun? Yes. Do they sharpen your brain? Not really.

Of course, if you are doing this for fun, then by all means go ahead. If you are doing it for brain fitness, then you might want to choose another activity

8. Eat right – and make sure dark chocolate is included

Foods like fish, fruits, and vegetables help your brain perform optimally. Yet, you might not know that dark chocolate gives your brain a good boost as well.

When you eat chocolate, your brain produces dopamine. And dopamine helps you learn faster and remember better. Not to mention, chocolate contains flavonols, antioxidants, which also improve your brain functions.

So next time you have something difficult to do, make sure you grab a bite or two of dark chocolate!

The bottom line

Now that you know how to train your brain, it’s actually time to start doing.

Don’t just consume this content and then go on with your life as if nothing has changed. Put this knowledge into action and become smarter than ever!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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