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The Strategies That Highly Effective Communicators Use For Great Conversations

The Strategies That Highly Effective Communicators Use For Great Conversations

Have you ever been caught up in a group of people and while everyone else is blabbing away you don’t quite manage to line up a sentence or spark off a topic?

Some people are gifted in conversing and can just talk to anyone at any place, at any time. Some people struggle to even make come up with one line even though their minds are overflowing with millions of possible topics waiting in a queue. What separates these two types of people is communication skills. You need to master the art of communication skill in order to get conversations flowing. Conversation is like a ball game. When a question bounces your way, respond with a reply to continue the dialogue flow and never let the ball drop.

Communication is more than a mere exchange of information. It is about understanding intentions and emotions behind it. It is a two-way street. Not just about how a message is conveyed but, also how it is received by others in a way you intended.

To blend in with master conversationalists, practice the following steps each time you happen to come across some kind of communication challlenge:

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Listen

You need to listen to gain full meaning and make others heard and understood.

Talking is not as important as listening. That is the irony. A good conversationalist listens well. In a TED Talk[1] in 2015, Celeste Headlee, the host of ” On second Thought” on Georgia public broadcasting stated that people rather talk than listen.

“When I’m talking, I’m in control. I don’t have to hear anything I’m not interested in. I’m the center of attention. I can bolster my own identity.”

We choose to talk more than listen because it is easy to get distracted when listening. On an average 225 words are spoken per minute, yet we can listen to approximately 500 words a minute. It takes effort to listen, but if you do not, you are not in a conversation.

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Avoid Interjecting

A good conversationalist does not interject. If someone is reflecting on how they are having trouble at work, do not talk about your personal job experiences. If they are reflecting on losing a family member do not start talking about the time you lost someone close. Why? Because all experiences are individual experiences, and not about you, you do not need to attempt to boost with reflections of your painful memories.

Be transparent

If you do not know be open about it. A good speaker is not afraid to reveal that they do not understand you, according to Mark levy[2]

“Not only will the other person feel heard; they’ll likely love having to explain their point in a way that’s different than normal.”

Stay Informed

Keep up to date with the latest news; get in touch with topics like culture and business[3]

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Good conversationalists can seed conversations and keep interest. Leave little details out like names and dates. The listener is interested in story, not facts.

Read the Cues

Emotionally intelligent people can read cues in communication challenges and they define their approach accordingly. Look for body language or mood changes that indicate the interest of the person in a conversation. This can help to improve or redirect the conversation accordingly. Awareness about the goals os parties and underlying motives of the conversation is revealed with body language.

Good conversationalists have:

Self-awareness: They understand their emotions.They take time out when they are overstressed

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Self-Management : They manage emotions

Social Awareness: They empathize with other people’s emotions

Social Skills: They make face to face contact, they handle emotions around them, they listen even if they do not agree before they speak.

Reference

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Nena Tenacity

Nena is passionate about writing. She shares her everyday health and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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