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The Strategies That Highly Effective Communicators Use For Great Conversations

The Strategies That Highly Effective Communicators Use For Great Conversations

Have you ever been caught up in a group of people and while everyone else is blabbing away you don’t quite manage to line up a sentence or spark off a topic?

Some people are gifted in conversing and can just talk to anyone at any place, at any time. Some people struggle to even make come up with one line even though their minds are overflowing with millions of possible topics waiting in a queue. What separates these two types of people is communication skills. You need to master the art of communication skill in order to get conversations flowing. Conversation is like a ball game. When a question bounces your way, respond with a reply to continue the dialogue flow and never let the ball drop.

Communication is more than a mere exchange of information. It is about understanding intentions and emotions behind it. It is a two-way street. Not just about how a message is conveyed but, also how it is received by others in a way you intended.

To blend in with master conversationalists, practice the following steps each time you happen to come across some kind of communication challlenge:

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Listen

You need to listen to gain full meaning and make others heard and understood.

Talking is not as important as listening. That is the irony. A good conversationalist listens well. In a TED Talk[1] in 2015, Celeste Headlee, the host of ” On second Thought” on Georgia public broadcasting stated that people rather talk than listen.

“When I’m talking, I’m in control. I don’t have to hear anything I’m not interested in. I’m the center of attention. I can bolster my own identity.”

We choose to talk more than listen because it is easy to get distracted when listening. On an average 225 words are spoken per minute, yet we can listen to approximately 500 words a minute. It takes effort to listen, but if you do not, you are not in a conversation.

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Avoid Interjecting

A good conversationalist does not interject. If someone is reflecting on how they are having trouble at work, do not talk about your personal job experiences. If they are reflecting on losing a family member do not start talking about the time you lost someone close. Why? Because all experiences are individual experiences, and not about you, you do not need to attempt to boost with reflections of your painful memories.

Be transparent

If you do not know be open about it. A good speaker is not afraid to reveal that they do not understand you, according to Mark levy[2]

“Not only will the other person feel heard; they’ll likely love having to explain their point in a way that’s different than normal.”

Stay Informed

Keep up to date with the latest news; get in touch with topics like culture and business[3]

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Good conversationalists can seed conversations and keep interest. Leave little details out like names and dates. The listener is interested in story, not facts.

Read the Cues

Emotionally intelligent people can read cues in communication challenges and they define their approach accordingly. Look for body language or mood changes that indicate the interest of the person in a conversation. This can help to improve or redirect the conversation accordingly. Awareness about the goals os parties and underlying motives of the conversation is revealed with body language.

Good conversationalists have:

Self-awareness: They understand their emotions.They take time out when they are overstressed

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Self-Management : They manage emotions

Social Awareness: They empathize with other people’s emotions

Social Skills: They make face to face contact, they handle emotions around them, they listen even if they do not agree before they speak.

Reference

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Nena Tenacity

Nena is passionate about writing. She shares her everyday health and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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