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8 Unrealistic Expectations Students Always Have Before Exams

8 Unrealistic Expectations Students Always Have Before Exams

With exam season fast upon us students of all ages are preparing for exams. No matter what age we are, we tend to fall into the same traps every time, setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves whether we are taking our first school exams or university finals. Here is a look at our repeated expectations versus the reality:

I will develop a love of learning.

Especially as we get further through our education, we keep waiting for that moment when it stops feeling like hard work because we just love the learning so much. Our passion for our subject drives us to burn the candle at both ends. We forget to eat, drink or breath because our love of imaginary numbers or Renaissance art makes us so giddy. Except it doesn’t happen, does it? And yet again, revision feels like a chore. I’m pretty sure it’s possible to drive the love out of absolutely anything by putting an exam at the end of it. How to get over it: Don’t wait for your love of your subject to ensure you rack up the hours needed to develop the skills, understanding and knowledge needed to pass your exams. Sadly the only way forward is sheer hard work. It doesn’t mean you’ll never enjoy it; it’s just natural not to enjoy the prospect of rote learning and exam halls.

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I will understand everything.

Even if we don’t love them, we expect to understand our subjects in the run up to exams. We’ve paid attention, we’ve completed all our assignments and even made some pretty intelligent contributions in class–yet we find ourselves staring at our textbooks and class notes utterly bemused. How to get over it: Prioritise your revision. It can be tempting to keep covering the topics that we do understand. This makes us feel good, but our time might be better invested brushing up on some of the trickier areas. Take time to learn good sources of additional support for the moments when problems seem intractable. Are there any good websites or are teachers/lecturers on hand for revision queries? It can also help to revise with friends. Challenging yourself to teach a topic to a friend is a great way to test and expand your understanding, and sometimes friends will have a different take on things that will help a difficult concept click for you.

I will write the perfect revision timetable.

There is no such thing as the perfect revision timetable, but we can often fall into the trap of spending hours painstakingly crafting a colour-coded timetable which accounts for every single minute of the day. How to get over it: The best revision timetable is a flexible one. Make sure you don’t overdo your revision for your earlier exams at the expense of the later exams and be ready to adapt your revision timetable as you go if you are working more or less quickly than you’d hoped. The best revision timetable isn’t the one that wins a prize for presentation, but one that helps you feel confident you will be able to get to an adequate understanding of all your subjects before you enter the exam hall.

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I will revise long before exams.

No cramming for me. No, I’m going to start revising months and months before and take it slow and steady. Slow…yes…steady…not so much… and now there’s no time and so much to do and…ARGH! How to get over it: It’s reassuring to know that this is a situation that almost every student has found themselves in repeatedly. Take time to carefully prioritise and make the best use of the time that you do have. It’s never too late to start.

My hard work will pay off when I enter my exams feeling cool as a cucumber.

So we get it together (albeit a bit later than planned) and manage to get in some quality revision. And we’re ready. So we should exude quiet confidence as we approach the exam hall. Except we don’t, do we? Even the most perfectly prepared student’s heart does a double backflip as the exam hall doors loom. How to get over it: Learn a few tricks to help your body relax and calm down, such as breathing skills and mindfulness.

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I will look after my physical health.

We know that we’ll do better in our exams if we’ve been getting enough sleep, eating well and getting some exercise and we keep meaning to make a start on healthy living, only suddenly it’s exam time and we’ve eaten nothing but junk for six weeks and can’t remember the last time we ventured outside or slept for more than three hours straight. How to get over it: Try to make it as easy as possible to be a little kinder to yourself. Set yourself a bedtime. Get up time and try to stick to it–you’ll sleep better if you have a set routine, and you’ll revise better and retain more if you are well rested. Make healthy snacks available rather than junk and build revision breaks into your timetable–use these to step right away from your work. A walk around the block is a great way to get a little exercise and reinvigorate your tired grey matter.

My final exam will finish with a flourish and fanfare.

The countdown to the moment we walk out of our final exam starts way before we walk into our first exam. It seems like it should be a moment when the world stops spinning and everyone pauses momentarily to congratulate us on a job well done. Except that’s not how it works. Everyone else is kind of busy and our last exam just isn’t as big of a deal to the rest of the world as it is to us. Besides, we’re so exhausted that even if there were fireworks and fanfares we would be too busy lying in a darkened room to appreciate them. How to get over it: Plan how you will mark the end of your exams so you have something to look forward to. But make sure you build in a little rest and relaxation time before any crazy partying commences or you may just find yourself partying straight to your first early night in six weeks.

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I will fail completely.

Exams are over, and you’re waiting for the results. You’ve spoken to everyone else about what answers they put and are consequently convinced you got pretty much every question in every exam wrong. You’re sure you failed and you dread your results. How to get over it: Generally speaking, this is an irrational fear. If you’ve prepared well, you’re unlikely to fail. Dissecting your answers post exam isn’t helpful and just acts to raise your anxiety levels. Start focusing on the next exam as you walk out of the last rather than picking it apart. And once the last exam is over, enjoy your freedom. If failure is a genuine possibility, have a think about what your next steps should be prior to picking up your results. You’ll feel less stressed and more in control if you have an action plan you can follow. Whatever exams you’re preparing for, good luck. And remember, you can only do your best.

Featured photo credit: Jeff Sheldon via download.unsplash.com

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Last Updated on March 21, 2019

11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

11 Important Things to Remember When Changing Habits

Most gurus talk about habits in a way that doesn’t help you:

You need to push yourself more. You can’t be lazy. You need to wake up at 5 am. You need more motivation. You can never fail…blah blah “insert more gibberish here.”

But let me share with you the unconventional truths I found out:

To build and change habits, you don’t need motivation or wake up at 5 am. Heck, you can fail multiple times, be lazy, have no motivation and still pull it off with ease.

It’s quite simple and easy to do, especially with the following list I’m going to show to you. But remember, Jim Rohn used to say,

“What is simple and easy to do is also simple and easy not to do.”

The important things to remember when changing your habits are both simple and easy, just don’t think that they don’t make any difference because they do.

In fact, they are the only things that make a difference.

Let’s see what those small things are, shall we?

1. Start Small

The biggest mistake I see people doing with habits is by going big. You don’t go big…ever. You start small with your habits.

Want to grow a book reading habit? Don’t start reading a book a day. Start with 10 pages a day.

Want to become a writer? Don’t start writing 10,000 words a day. Start with 300 words.

Want to lose weight? Don’t stop eating ice cream. Eat one less ball of it.

Whatever it is, you need to start small. Starting big always leads to failure. It has to, because it’s not sustainable.

Start small. How small? The amount needs to be in your comfort zone. So if you think that reading 20 pages of a book is a bit too much, start with 10 or 5.

It needs to appear easy and be easy to do.

Do less today to do more in a year.

2. Stay Small

There is a notion of Kaizen which means continuous improvement. They use this notion in habits where they tell you to start with reading 1 page of a book a day and then gradually increase the amount you do over time.

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But the problem with this approach is the end line — where the “improvement” stops.

If I go from reading 1 page of a book a day and gradually reach 75 and 100, when do I stop? When I reach 1 book a day? That is just absurd.

When you start a habit, stay at it in the intensity you have decided. Don’t push yourself for more.

I started reading 20 pages of a book a day. It’s been more than 2 years now and I’ve read 101 books in that period. There is no way I will increase the number in the future.

Why?

Because reading 40 to 50 books a year is enough.

The same thing applies to every other habit out there.

Pick a (small) number and stay at it.

3. Bad Days Are 100 Percent Occurrence

No matter how great you are, you will have bad days where you won’t do your habit. Period.

There is no way of going around this. So it’s better to prepare yourself for when that happens instead of thinking that it won’t ever happen.

What I do when I miss a day of my habit(s) is that I try to bounce back the next day while trying to do habits for both of those days.

Example for that is if I read 20 pages of a book a day and I miss a day, the next day I will have to read 40 pages of a book. If I miss writing 500 words, the next day I need to write 1000.

This is a really important point we will discuss later on rewards and punishments.

This is how I prepare for the bad days when I skip my habit(s) and it’s a model you should take as well.

4. Those Who Track It, Hack It

When you track an activity, you can objectively tell what you did in the past days, weeks, months, and years. If you don’t track, you will for sure forget everything you did.

There are many different ways you can track your activities today, from Habitica to a simple Excel sheet that I use, to even a Whatsapp Tracker.

Peter Drucker said,

“What you track is what you do.”

So track it to do it — it really helps.

But tracking is accompanied by one more easy activity — measuring.

5. Measure Once, Do Twice

Peter Drucker also said,

“What you measure is what you improve.”

So alongside my tracker, I have numbers with which I measure doses of daily activities:

For reading, it’s 20 pages.
For writing, it’s 500 words.
For the gym, it’s 1 (I went) or 0 (didn’t go).
For budgeting, it’s writing down the incomes and expenses.

Tracking and measuring go hand in hand, they take less than 20 seconds a day but they create so much momentum that it’s unbelievable.

6. All Days Make a Difference

Will one day in the gym make you fit? It won’t.

Will two? They won’t.

Will three? They won’t.

Which means that a single gym session won’t make you fit. But after 100 gym sessions, you will look and feel fit.

What happened? Which one made you fit?

The answer to this (Sorites paradox)[1] is that no single gym session made you fit, they all did.

No single day makes a difference, but when combined, they all do. So trust the process and keep on going (small).

7. They Are Never Fully Automated

Gurus tell you that habits become automatic. And yes, some of them do, like showering a certain way of brushing your teeth.

But some habits don’t become automatic, they become a lifestyle.

What I mean by that is that you won’t automatically “wake up” in the gym and wonder how you got there.

It will just become a part of your lifestyle.

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The difference is that you do the first one automatically, without conscious thought, while the other is a part of how you live your life.

It’s not automatic, but it’s a decision you don’t ponder on or think about — you simply do it.

It will become easy at a certain point, but they will never become fully automated.

8. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

Marshall Goldsmith has a great book with the same title to it. The phrase means that sometimes, you will need to ditch certain habits to make room for other ones which will bring you to the next step.

Don’t be afraid to evolve your habits when you sense that they don’t bring you where you want to go.

When I started reading, it was about reading business and tactic books. But two years into it, I switched to philosophy books which don’t teach me anything “applicable,” but instead teach me how to think.

The most important ability of the 21st century is the ability to learn, unlearn, and relearn. The strongest tree is the willow tree – not because it has the strongest root or biggest trunk, but because it is flexible enough to endure and sustain anything.

Be like a willow, adapting to the new ways of doing things.

9. Set a Goal and Then Forget It

The most successful of us know what they want to achieve, but they don’t focus on it.

Sounds paradoxical? You’re right, it does. But here is the logic behind it.

You need to have a goal of doing something – “I want to become a healthy individual” – and then, you need to reverse engineer how to get there with your habits- “I will go to the gym four times a week.”

But once you have your goal, you need to “forget” about it and only focus on the process. Because you are working on the process of becoming healthy and it’s always in the making. You will only be as healthy as you take care of your body.

So you have a goal which isn’t static but keeps on moving.

If you went to the gym 150 times year and you hit your goal, what would you do then? You would stop going to the gym.

This is why goal-oriented people experience yo-yo effect[2] and why process-oriented people don’t.

The difference between process-oriented and goal-oriented people is that the first focus on daily actions while others only focus on the reward at the finish line.

Set a goal but then forget about it and reap massive awards.

10. Punish Yourself

Last two sections are pure Pavlovian – you need to punish bad behavior and reward good behavior. You are the only person who decides what is good and what is bad for you, but when you do, you need to rigorously follow that.

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I’ve told you in point #3 about bad days and how after one occurs, I do double the work on the next day. That is one of my forms of punishments.

It’s the need to tell your brain that certain behaviors are unacceptable and that they lead to bad outcomes. That’s what punishments are for.

You want to tell your brain that there are real consequences to missing your daily habits.[3]

No favorite food to eat or favorite show to watch or going to the cinema for a new Marvel movie- none, zero, zilch.

The brain will remember these bad feelings and will try to avoid the behaviors that led to them as much as possible.

But don’t forget the other side of the same coin.

11. Reward Yourself

When you follow and execute on your plan, reward yourself. It’s how the brain knows that you did something good.

Whenever I finish one of my habits for the day, I open my tracker (who am I kidding, I always keep it open on my desktop) and fill it with a number. As soon as I finish reading 20 pages of a book a day (or a bit more), I open the tracker and write the number down.

The cell becomes green and gives me an instant boost of endorphin – a great success for the day. Then, it becomes all about not breaking the chain and having as many green fields as possible.

After 100 days, I crunch some numbers and see how I did.

If I have less than 10 cheat days, I reward myself with a great meal in a restaurant. You can create your own rewards and they can be daily, weekly, monthly or any arbitrary time table that you create.

Primoz Bozic, a productivity coach, has gold, silver, and bronze medals as his reward system.[4]

If you’re having problems creating a system which works for you, contact me via email and we can discuss specifics.

In the End, It Matters

What you do matters not only to you but to the people around you.

When you increase the quality of your life, you indirectly increase the quality of life of people around you. And sometimes, that is all the “motivation” we need to start.

And that’s the best quote for the end of this article:

“Motivation gets you started, but habits keep you going.”

Keep going.

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More Resources to Help You Build Habits

Featured photo credit: Anete Lūsiņa via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy: Sorites paradox
[2] Muscle Zone: What causes yo-yo effect and how to avoid it?
[3] Growth Habits: 5 Missteps That Cause You To Quit Building A Habit
[4] Primoz Bozic: The Lean Review: How to Plan Your 2019 in 20 Minutes

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