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7 Ways To Give Great Feedback

7 Ways To Give Great Feedback

Sharing an opinion, especially a negative one, can be challenging. When your friend asks you to give them feedback or clearly needs some feedback on something you’re suddenly in a position where you have to share a lot of opinions, often negative ones. Make sure you know how to deliver criticism thoughtfully, efficiently, and respectfully. You can give good feedback by doing these seven things:

1. Do it early

Don’t wait until it’s too late to give feedback. The sooner you can tell someone that something they’re doing needs work, the more time your friend has to improve at it. Don’t wait until your friend is almost done with their thousand-page novel to tell them that it’s not worth pursuing. Don’t wait for a person to make a big mistake to tell them that they’re on a dangerous path. It can be uncomfortable to deliver criticism, but if you wait too long it could become too late.

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2. Avoid shaming

Sometimes (or a lot of the time) what you’re giving feedback on, whether it be a piece of work or a behavior, sucks. In fact, if they asked you for the feedback they probably did it so that they could hear someone else confirm what they already think: that it sucks. But absolutely do not tell them that it sucks. Be honest with your criticism but also be gracious. The last thing you should do is make your friend regret asking your opinion.

3. Focus on behavior

Adverbs are your friend. Instead of telling someone they are bad at what they’re asking feedback on, tell them what they can do to be better. You’re not critiquing them, you’re critiquing something they did.

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4. Stay on your side of the net

If you review a book, you’re not the writer. If you give feedback on a drawing, you’re not the artist. If you’re critiquing someone’s attitude, you aren’t that person. Remember to stand your ground when you’re giving a review but not to cross any boundaries either. Bad criticism is telling people to write like you’d write, draw what you’d draw, act exactly like you act, etc. You might think you know the right way to do something, but remember that everything is subjective. You want to bring out the best out in them, not make them more like you.

5. Be generous

Universal negativity is not good feedback. Would you value the opinion of someone who thought everything you did was terrible? No, because a critique needs balance. Even if it’s difficult, find something you appreciate amidst the dreck. It’s very helpful to end your review with a compliment or two so that you are closing on a positive note.

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6. Speak to the person’s interests

Deliver your critique the way it will be best absorbed. Sounds obvious, but too many people treat the critique as if they’re giving it for themselves. Make interesting comparisons that are relevant to the reviewee. Compare the positive attributes of what you’re critiquing to something he likes, and compare the negative aspects to things that he also thinks negatively of. If your friend loves Michael Bay movies, it won’t help to say that his script suffers the same problems as the Transformers movies. If they idolize a negative influence, don’t tell them that they’re becoming more like that person. Phrase your argument with consideration for your audience.

7. Practice

With practice comes improvement. Even if you follow the six previous tips, you will continue to grow as a reviewer as you give more feedback. That’s how it works. Giving great feedback is a fine art that can’t just be distilled into six easy steps. As you practice more you will learn when you should say something and when you should shut your trap. Over time, it gets easier.

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Featured photo credit: dsa66503 via flickr.com

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Matt OKeefe

Matt is a marketer and writer who shares about lifestyle and productivity tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on November 12, 2020

15 Reasons Why You Can’t Achieve Your Goals

15 Reasons Why You Can’t Achieve Your Goals

The truth about many of our failed goals is that we haven’t achieved them because we didn’t know how to set and accomplish goals effectively, rather than having not had enough willpower, determination, or fortitude. There are strings of mistakes standing in our way of accomplished goals. Fortunately for us, we don’t have to fall victim to these mistakes for 2015. There are many common mistakes we make with setting goals, but there are also surefire ways to fix them too.

Goal Setting

1. You make your goals too vague.

Instead of having a vague goal of “going to the gym,” make your goals specific—something like, “run a mile around the indoor track each morning.”

2. You have no way of knowing where you are with your goals.

It’s hard to recognize where you are at reaching your goal if you have no way of measuring where you are with it. Instead, make your goal measurable with questions such as, “how much?” or “how many?” This way, you always know where you stand with your goals.

3. You make your goals impossible to reach.

If it’s impossible of reaching, you’re simply not going to reach for it. Sometimes, our past behavior can predict our future behavior, which means if you have no sign of changing a behavior within a week, don’t set a goal that wants to accomplish that. While you can do many things you set your mind to, it’ll be much easier if you realize your capabilities, and judge your goals from there.

4. You only list your long-term goals.

Long-term goals tend to fizzle out because we’re stuck on the larger view rather than what we need to accomplish in the here and now to get there. Instead, list out all the short-term goals involved with your long-term goal. For instance, if you want to seek a publisher for a book you’ve written, your short-term goals might involve your marketing your writing and writing for more magazines in order to accomplished your goal of publishing. By listing out the short-term goals involved with your long-term goal, you’ll focus more on doing what’s in front of you.

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5. You write your goals as negative statements.

It’s hard to reach a goal that’s worded as, “don’t fall into this stupid trap.” That’s not inspiring, and when you’re first starting out, you need inspiration to stay committed to your goal. Instead, make your goals positive statements, such as, “Be a friend who says yes more” rather than, “Stop being an idiot to your friends.”

6. You leave your goals in your head.

Don’t keep your goals stuck in your head. Write them down somewhere and keep them visible. It’s a way making your goals real and holding yourself accountable for achieving them.

Achieving Goals

7. You only focus on achieving one goal at a time, and you struggle each time.

In order to keep achieving your goals, one right after the others, you need to build the healthy habits to do so. For instance, if you want to write a book, developing a habit of writing each morning. If you want to lose weight and eventually run a marathon, develop a habit of running each morning. Focus on buildign habits, and your other goals in the future will come easier.

Studies show that it takes about 66 days on average to change or develop a habit.[1] If you focus on forming one habit every 66 days, that’ll get you closer to accomplishing your goals, and you’ll also build the capability to achieve more and more goals later on with the help of your newly formed habits.

8. You live in an environment that doesn’t support your goals.

Gary Keller and Jay Papasan in their book, The One Thing, state that environments are made up of people and places. They state that these two factors must line up to support your goals. Otherwise, they would cause friction to your goals. So make sure the people who surround you and your location both add something to your goals rather than take away from them.

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9. You get stuck on the end result with your goals.

James Clear brilliantly suggests that our focus should be on the systems we implement to reach our goals rather than the actual end result. For instance, if you’re trying to be healthier with your diet, focus more on sticking to your diet plan rather than on your desired end result. It’ll keep you more concentrated on what’s right in front of you rather than what’s up in the sky.

Keeping Motivated

10. You get discouraged with your mess-ups.

When I wake up each morning, I focus all my effort in building a small-win for myself. Why? Because we need confidence and momentum if we want to keep plowing through the obstacles of accomplishing our goals. Starting my day with small wins helps me forget what mess-ups I had yesterday, and be able to reset.

Your win can be as small as getting out of bed to writing a paragraph in your book. Whatever the case may be, highlight the victories when they come along, and don’t pay much attention to whatever mess-ups happened yesterday.

11. You downplay your wins.

When a win comes along, don’t downplay it or be too humble about it. Instead, make it a big deal. Celebrate each time you get closer to your goal with either a party or quality time doing what you love.

12. You get discouraged by all the work you have to do for your goals.

What happens when you focus on everything that’s in front of you is that you can lose sight of the big picture—what you’re actually doing this for and why you want to achieve it. By learning how to filter the big picture through your every day small goals, you’ll be able to keep your motivation for the long haul. Never let go of the big picture.

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13. You waste your downtime.

When I take a break, I usually fill my downtime with activities that further me toward my goals. For instance, I listen to podcasts about writing or entrepreneurship during my lunch times. This keeps my mind focused on the goal, and also utilizes my downtime with motivation to keep trying for my goals.

Wondering what you can do during your downtime? Here’re 20 Productive Ways to Use the Time.

14. You have no system of accountability.

If you announce your goal publicly, or promise to offer something to people, those people suddenly depend on your accomplishment. They are suddenly concerned for your goals, and help make sure you achieve them. Don’t see this as a burden. Instead, use it to fuel your hard work. Have people depend on you and you’ll be motivated to not let them down.

15. You fall victim to all your negative behaviors you’re trying to avoid with your goals.

Instead of making a “to-do” list, make a list of all the behaviors, patterns, and thinking you need to avoid if you ever want to reach your goal. For instance, you might want to chart down, “avoid Netflix” or “don’t think negatively about my capability.” By doing this, you’ll have a visible reminder of all the behavior you need to avoid in order to accomplish your goals. But make sure you balance this list out with your goals listed as positive statements.

How To Stop Failing Your Goal?

If you want to stop failing your goal and finally reach it, don’t miss these actionable tips explained by Jade in this episode of The Lifehack Show:

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Bottom Line

Overcoming our mistakes is the first step to building healthy systems for our goals. If you find one of these cogs jamming the gears to your goal-setting system, I hope you follow these solutions to keep your system healthy and able to churn out more goals.

Make this year where you finally achieve what you’ve only dreamed of.

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Featured photo credit: NORTHFOLK via unsplash.com

Reference

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