Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 26, 2020

What Is FOMO (And How to Get Over It and Move on)

What Is FOMO (And How to Get Over It and Move on)

What is FOMO, exactly?

Are you unable to say “no” to a party invitation, even if you have work to do? Do you feel like an outsider if you don’t see the hottest Hollywood movie everyone is talking about? Do you feel that you have to buy the latest and hottest “making money online” information product because everyone else is doing so?

If you have been in these or similar situations before, you have just experienced FOMO. Social networking has exacerbated this problem and made it something we now have to actively combat.

In this article, we’ll look into what FOMO is and how to get over it.

What Is FOMO?

I learned about FOMO by reading a book Find Your Focus Zone by Lucy Jo Palladino. In that book, she described FOMO with an everyday example: Have you ever felt that you had to pick up the cell phone right away when it rings?

The longer the phone rings, the more and more you experience the fear of missing out (FOMO). You feel that there is something important you are about to miss if you don’t pick up the phone immediately.

Advertising

The most important element in FOMO is the word “fear,” It makes us to do things even when we necessarily don’t want to. It’s logic versus emotion: When a compelling option is presented to us, we feel like an outsider if we say “no” to that. We may even fear that we’ll miss the opportunity of a lifetime if we say “no.”

At the same time, we know that we probably shouldn’t say “yes” because we may be spreading ourselves too thin. Also, there are going to be plenty of other opportunities out there, so missing this one probably won’t make a difference after all.

Symptoms of FOMO

When you are a victim of the fear of missing out, you are going to experience at least one of the following:

Procrastinating — Being Unfocused and Stressed

It’s obvious that when the temptation to say “yes” to a request is too big, you accept yet another task or project.

In practice, you are spreading yourself too thin. Not only are you stressed out by too many activities in your life, but it increases the likelihood for procrastination. This is because you cannot keep up with your schedule and you start finding excuses for not doing something you promised.

Losing Money

Sometimes you don’t want to feel like being an outsider in a group by making different decisions than the rest of the people.

Advertising

For example, I have been in internet marketing circles for a couple of years, and every time there is a big product launch coming, there is a lot of buzz around it.

Since this “next shiny object” is probably going to make you rich and famous overnight, you don’t want to miss out. If you do, others are going to be rich and famous, not you.

Unfortunately, in many situations like these, nothing groundbreaking is going to happen after all (no fame, no money, just hard work). It is yet another product launch, which is going to waste your money if FOMO gets a hold on you.

Feeling Overwhelmed

Being overwhelmed is one of the symptoms of fear of missing out. When you are unable to say “no,” feeling overwhelmed is destined to happen at some point.

There is just too much going on at the same time, and you are unable to focus on anything properly.

How to Get Over FOMO

There are certain things you can do when you experience FOMO.[1]

Advertising

What Does FOMO Mean and How Do I Deal With It?

     

    1. Be Aware of It

    The first thing is to be aware of the feeling. Stop for a moment and acknowledge when you are having a feeling of FOMO.

    Understand that this is a natural (although undesirable) way of reacting in a certain situation. We all wish we could say “yes” all the time, but we’re only human.

    2. Be Honest With Yourself and Others

    Honesty is one of the best ways to deal with the situation.

    First, you have to be honest to yourself: If you say “yes,” you have to understand that you may be spreading yourself too thin.

    Advertising

    Second, it is also important to be honest with others, too. They have to be aware that you may not be 100% committed to their requests if you have plenty of action going on at the same time.

    3. Make a Quick Decision Regarding the Situation

    One of the worst things you can do is be on the fence. As long as something is left undecided, it is using your brain capacity for nothing.

    That’s why it is imperative to say “no” to an opportunity as quickly as possible if you feel you are unable to commit to it 100%.

    When you say “no,” you may even regret your decision at first. On the other hand, if you are meant to experience the opportunity at all, it will come available to you at a later time.

    4. Change Your Perspective

    Lastly, one step in defeating the FOMO is to see if a situation or event supports your short or long term goals.If it doesn’t, it’s likely better for you to get off social media sites that can increase FOMO and say no. Instead, focus on everything you have to be grateful for in life at this moment. Try spending time with friends and family and improve the important relationships in your life. These are the things that you’ll really regret missing out on and what will ultimately improve your life satisfaction.

    The Bottom Line

    FOMO can lead you to distraction and can push you to do things you really don’t care about. However, there is a way to overcome the fear. Once you learn to handle it, you will feel better and will feel ready to take on more things that add genuine fulfillment to your life.

    More on the Fear of Missing Out

    Featured photo credit: Erik Lucatero via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Very Well Mind: How to Deal With FOMO in Your Life

    More by this author

    Timo Kiander

    Productivity Author and Founder of Productive Superdad

    How to Create a To-Do List That Super Boosts Your Productivity The Crucial Letter Your SMART Goal Is Missing What Is FOMO (And How to Get Over It and Move on) Do You Do This Common Mistake When You Start Working on Your Tasks? 9 Valuable Lessons Learned After Writing My First Book

    Trending in Focus

    1 How To Protect Your Focus From Being “Robbed” By Notifications and Social Media 2 13 Things to Put on Your Daily Checklist for Boosted Productivity 3 How to Work Remotely and Stay Productive and Focused 4 8 Simple Ways To Be Mindful At Work For Better Focus 5 Smart Phone is The Workplace Terrorist

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on January 12, 2021

    How To Protect Your Focus From Being “Robbed” By Notifications and Social Media

    How To Protect Your Focus From Being “Robbed” By Notifications and Social Media

    Between a cell phone that’s always ringing, a plethora of social media apps vying for your attention, and a steady stream of text messages, it probably feels like you can never get a moment of peace.

    Think about how many times you’ve been working when a notification pops up on your screen. The message might be important, but more often than not, it’s just spam that pulls your focus away from your project.

    Imagine all the times you’ve been in a meeting and felt the distinctive buzzing of your cell phone. Putting a smartphone on vibrate doesn’t make it any less disruptive for its owner. You instantly divert your attention from the other human beings in the room to the device in your pocket.

    Distractions make you work harder

    Studies suggest that the average American worker is interrupted every three minutes and five seconds.[1] An estimated 6 hours of productivity are lost every day to distraction. When someone is interrupted, they not only have to deal with the disruption, but then they have to use even more time and energy to get back into their work.[2]

    It’s not only annoying to feel like you can never situate your mind on one task, but it also keeps you from doing your best work. The greatest ideas require time for mental processing. You have to do research and dig deep to come up with exciting ideas. If your focus is shallow, your ideas will never be able to develop to their fullest potential.

    Our concentration naturally fluctuates

    It would be nice if you could simply disconnect from the internet and have a consistent ability to concentrate, but that’s not how your brain works.

    If you were to visualize your concentration throughout an 8-hour work day, it might look like this graph.

    Throughout the day, you will experience peaks and valleys in your energy levels. You might feel a jolt of productivity after you go for a walk or have a cup of coffee, but there will also be points in the day–like right after lunch–where you’ll feel sluggish. You create your best work during periods of high energy and focus.

    Advertising

    Protecting those peak periods ensures that you can maximize your work time. When you constantly shift your focus back and forth between your work and distractions, your brain has to work extra hard to get back on track. Opening your Facebook page or replying to your friend’s What’s App message is almost never worth the productivity cost.

    You will still have peak moments of productivity when you face interruptions, but the peaks will not be as high. This is because jumping between items wears you out. You lower your potential productivity every time you give in to distraction.

    To be successful, you have to root out anything that stands in your way. The inability to concentrate will affect your work performance, but you can take control of the situation.

    How to maintain focus in a sea of disruptions

    Being able to give your best at work doesn’t mean that you have to disconnect from the world entirely. You can still enjoy the connections you have through technology, but there are a few ways that you can keep them from having a negative impact on your work.

    One of the first things that you can do to minimize your distractions is set aside a time for them. Give yourself windows of time when it’s acceptable to look at Facebook or respond to messages.

    Start by listing out the things that most commonly distract you. Maybe you get sucked into the rabbit hole of Facebook if you get a notification. Perhaps you find that your friends texting you throughout the day pulls you from work. Whatever it may be, write it down.

    Then, set aside a time slot in which you are free to use the apps as you please.

    Plan to use your distracting apps during times when you need to restore energy. As you can see from the graph, times when you need to restore your energy are also times when you may not be as productive.

    Advertising

    Instead of giving up peak energy times, sacrifice the time when you aren’t working well to engage with technology. When your recovery time has ended, jump right back into your work.

    It might seem counter-intuitive to make time for these distractions during your day, but if you create a schedule that protects periods of peak energy, you will actually boost your productivity. Instead of being inundated with notifications or thinking about the next time when you are allowed to check your messages, you’ll have designated times for that.

    Rather than shift your attention at random, you can focus fully on the task at hand until it’s your time to play on social media or check messages. Using this approach can help you regain a lot of your brain power because you won’t have to waste it on refocusing. You’ll simply do less important tasks during natural breaks in your day.

    Set up a system to limit distractions

    Just because you vow to check your messages and look at social media during certain times doesn’t keep distractions from happening. You’ll need to set up a system to keep disruptions at bay.

    You can’t always control when someone is going to send you a message or when you’ll get a notification. You can start by adjusting your settings. Most apps allow you to opt out of notifications. Stop push notifications from non-essential apps.

    For everything else, you need a different plan. We may be able to avoid opening social media tabs, but sometimes the messages still pop up on our phones. At the same time, most of us want to continue to use social media to stay connected and receive important information.

    Try planting some trees with your concentration

    The Forest app helps you train your brain to avoid distractions during work time. You can use Forest on your desktop or smartphone. The app works by enabling you to establish an amount of time during which you do not wish to be interrupted. You can adjust the amount of time from 10 minutes up to several hours.

    Refer back to the list of distractions that you made earlier. You can take the websites and apps that drain your time and add them to the Forest’s blacklist.

    Advertising

      The amount of time that you wish to stay off of distracting websites and apps is called a “planting session.” When you decide that you want to “plant a tree,” the countdown timer starts. If you access a blacklisted website during the time when you are supposed to be working, the app will remind you that your tree is still growing. You will have to decide whether or not you want to kill your tree, which is harder than you might think.

        When you can successfully stay off of distracting sites for the allotted time, your tree grows, and you get coins. The coins will allow you to unlock other types of trees.

          As you continue with your work session, you can see a countdown timer and an animation of a tree growing from a seed to its full splendor. Usually Forest also includes an inspirational saying to keep you on track if your focus starts to drift.

            To make the impact of your efforts even greater, success in Forest also gives you the option to plant a tree in real life.

            Advertising

            This simple visualization can help you break the bad habit of checking your phone or accessing websites that disrupt your thought processes. When Forest asks you if you would like to “give up” and kill your tree, most often you will realize that the reason you were heading to the blacklisted website wasn’t that important anyway.

            Sometimes you just need a small reminder to stay on task. Use Forest during your peak productivity times so that you don’t waste the most valuable parts of your day.

            You have to identify the distractions before you can stop them

            You may be wondering how much of your peak productivity time you are losing to mindless distractions. The only way to find out is to take a closer look at your habits. Notice the times when you seem to do your best work. Name the sources of notifications and interruptions that decrease your attention. After you have done this, use an app like Forest to cut out the distractions.

            Using Forest will not prevent you from being tired, and it won’t keep you from staring off into space, but it will make you think twice about wasting time on sites that distract you.

            When you are able to experience a distraction-free work environment, you’ll recognize how much more you are able to accomplish. You’ll be able to do your work more efficiently, and you won’t feel the fatigue of constantly re-centering yourself. Soon, your desire to stay focused will be stronger than the temptation to click on your notifications.

            Featured photo credit: Viktor Hanacek/ Picjumbo via picjumbo.com

            Reference

            Read Next