Advertising
Advertising

13 Simple Things Happy Couples Do Every Day

13 Simple Things Happy Couples Do Every Day

I’m sure you have heard plenty of people who have said, “Relationships are hard!” Sadly, that’s what most people think.

Why? Because they’ve never been giving the tools to make relationships easy.

I teach and write about relationships for a living, and when people say this to me, I respond with this:

“Relationships aren’t hard. It’s the PEOPLE in the relationships that make them hard.”

See the difference? In the first scenario, it implies that all relationships are inherently flawed and so we have to figure out how to fix that.

In the second scenario, it is shining light on the fact that people are imperfect. We all have our insecurities and we carry those into our relationships. While this is an inevitable fact of life, it doesn’t mean that we can’t learn to overcome them and have a very happy relationship.

Maybe you know happy couples and wonder “What do they do that we don’t do?” Or maybe you don’t even know any happy couples! Either way, I’m sure at some point you have wondered what the secret to relationship success is.

I’m here to tell you, it’s not that difficult. As you will see from the rest of this article, these are pretty simple things that happy couples do every day. All it takes is some conscious thought and a desire to be happy – and more importantly – make your partner happy.

If I have your attention by now, then great! I’m happy that you are interested in finding the “magic formula” for a happy relationship. You can have that if you just follow these tips.

1. Talk to and Really Listen to Each Other

This sounds simple, right? I mean, why would you get into a relationship or marriage with someone that you didn’t want to talk to?

Well, it’s way more common than you think.

Advertising

Take a look around these days. Most couples have their faces in their phones, laptops, video game, or some other electronic device. They have more of a relationship with them than their actual partner.

So, talk to each other. Listen to each other — and I mean, really listen to each other with your brain and your heart.

2. Stay Connected Through the Day

I dated a guy once who, when we were together, everything was great. We got along, everything was flowing, and I thought we really had something special. But the problem was, when we were apart, I hardly ever heard from him.

While some people might like the sound of this, it certainly doesn’t create or maintain any sort of intimacy between the two of you. Even if it’s a quick text during the day asking, “What are you doing?” or “I’m thinking of you, and I love you!” That’s all it really takes to keep the connection going.

3. Do Something Together

Sadly, as time goes on, a lot of couples lifk separate lives. Even if they live in the same house, they still cave live separate lives.

For example, a lot of men have (or want) a “Man Cave.” While that sounds great, what does it imply?

It implies that he wants to be left alone. He doesn’t want his partner bothering him. What kind of message does that send? I’m not implying that you need to be joined at hip or spend 24/7 together, but you need to engage with each other in activities on a regular basis.

Take a look at these 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples if you run out of ideas what you can do with your partner.

4. Express Gratitude

I cannot stress enough how important this one is! Human beings take almost everything for granted – the food on their table, the roof over their head – you name it. Even the people we love the most.

All it takes is a simple “thank you” or “I appreciate you!” Even if someone makes you dinner every single night, still say “Thanks so much for dinner, babe. It was delicious!”

Everyone wants to know they are appreciated – especially for the things they do every day that can be taken for granted.

Advertising

5. Say Nice Things to and About Each Other

Most people like to be complimented. Sure, not everyone. But even those people deep down want to feel good about themselves.

So, saying things like “you are so beautiful” or “you look sexy in that” goes a long way.

It doesn’t even have to be a compliment per se. If your partner is dedicated to health and fitness, you could say something like, “I really admire your dedication to your health, honey!” It’s so important to be positive to one another.

6. Put the Other Person’s Needs Equal to – or Before – Their Own

We live in a very selfish and narcissistic world these days. It’s all about “Me, Me, Me.” What can I get? Who can give something to me? How can I be better than other people?

That doesn’t work in relationships.

If you are only focused on what you can get from your partner, then you are neglecting them. You are not thinking about their needs – only your own. This does not work long term because it will definitely create resentment over time.

7. Wake up Thinking, “How Can I Make His/Her Life Better Today?”

So, instead of focusing on yourself and what YOU can get out of the relationship, you need to change your mindset. I stole this quote from Dr. Phil, by the way.

He always says this on his show. He says he wakes up every day thinking about how he can make his wife Robin’s life better today. And Robin confirms it too.

When we try to make our partner’s life better, then they will naturally want to make our life better too.

We want to give to people who give to us. And the opposite is true if no one is making our lives better.

8. Forgive One Another

Let’s face it – no one is perfect. And that means you, too. There is no such thing as perfection!

Advertising

So, happy couples aren’t happy because they are both perfect. They are happy because they recognize that they are not – but forgive each other.

Forging comes in big and small packages. It could be a horrible betrayal, or it could be a simple annoying habit like leaving his socks on the living room floor every night without picking them up. Either way, forgiveness is a cornerstone of happy relationships.

If you wonder how to forgive your partner and regain trust in the relationship, this article can help: How to Regain Broken Trust in a Relationship

9. Flirt with Each Other

You have to keep the romance alive. I can’t tell you how many couples I know that just let it die. I always say,

“Relationships are like plants. You need to water them every day or they will die.”

And romance is a huge part of that.

Flirt, compliment, and act like you are newly in love. Go on regular date nights. Schedule time for romance if you need to.

Keeping romance alive is a huge factor in happy couples’ lives. If you don’t have that, then you might as well be roommates or brother and sister. And who wants that?

10. Make Loving Touch a Top Priority

Touch comes in all forms. It is not just sexual touch, although that is important too.

Everyone has a different sex drive, so happy couples either have the similar needs in that department, or at least negotiate a middle ground.

Non-sexual touch is important too. Holding hands, snuggling on the couch, random hugs, little kisses through the day… All that touch keeps you connected physical – and emotionally.

Advertising

11. Go to Bed Together

This might be difficult to do if one of you is an early bird and the other is a night owl. But when you get into the habit of not going to bed together, then it puts an ongoing separation between the two of you.

Even if one wants to go to bed earlier, the other one could come to bed too and read a book or watch TV. The important part is having a ritual of ending the day together.

It’s even better if you are in sync, that way you can spoon each other as you fall asleep.

12. Support Each Other

Many of us have hopes and dreams that perhaps we have not achieved yet. And that’s great! Because life is about the journey, not the destination.

Happy couples support each other not only in their hopes and dreams, but in any way they need.

If they are having family problems, they are there for them. This is just another way of saying that your partner “has your back.” You can count on them for anything.

13. Have Fun and Laugh Together

Life doesn’t have to be serious! Laughing, having fun, and have a great sense of humor is central to many happy couples’ lives. Humor makes life easier and more fun.

Even if your life is difficult, you can find a way to have some fun. Maybe go for a hike, or just watch a funny movie together. There are countless ways to generate fun and laughter.

The Bottom Line

As you can see, becoming or staying a happy couple isn’t that difficult. These are all very simple things you can do starting today!

The problem is, most people are not thinking about any of this. It takes some focus and a bit of effort.

But trust me… it is definitely worth it!

So, what are you waiting for? Go make your partner happy right now.

More Articles About Happy Relationships

Featured photo credit: Kyle Bearden via unsplash.com

More by this author

Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

How to Deal With a Narcissist (And When You Should Move On) How to Deal With the 15 Most Common Marriage Problems 11 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak How to Deal With an Emotionally Unstable Partner How to Handle Emotional Blackmail in a Relationship

Trending in Social Animal

1 How to Use the Law of Reciprocity for Effective Persuasion 2 What Will Happen When You Surround Yourself With Positive People? 3 How to Surround Yourself With Positive People 4 How to Create Social Goals to Make an Impact in the World 5 The Lifehack Show: Improving Social Skills with Dr. Daniel Wendler

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on October 20, 2020

10 Principles for Success to Start Living Your Dream Life

10 Principles for Success to Start Living Your Dream Life

Are you stressed out and overwhelmed, wishing you had more time to do the things that really matter? Are you ready to do something better, something special in your life or your career? If you’re ready to take responsibility for your life, then you need to tap into some principles for success.

Many people—maybe you—stopped following their passion and purpose way too early in life because their talents were ignored, minimized, or shamed. They didn’t have the chops to win an American Idol competition or nab an Olympic gold medal, so they stopped expressing their inborn gifts altogether.

You don’t need to be an award winner to rock your life. Living your dream life is about discovering your superpowers and feeling vibrant and joyful when you use them. It’s about owning what makes you unique and finding like-minded people to support you.

Here are 10 success principles to help you reach your goals and live a rich life on your terms.

1. Get a Hobby to Move Closer to Your Dreams

If you never became a professional dancer or a world-renowned author, it does NOT mean you should stop dancing or writing! These activities make you come alive, even if you “only” do them as favorite pastimes.

Engaging in a hobby is one of the most important success principles you can follow to move closer to your dreams.

When you try something creative for the first time or in a long while, you begin to see opportunities at work and in life that you were unaware of before. You also feel happier and more energized, according to a recent study from New Zealand[1].

Some of my most burned-out executive clients reinvigorated their careers by discovering a creative outlet that refueled them after the workday ended. Research at San Francisco State University shows that having a hobby lowers stress and helps you succeed at work[2].

Give yourself permission to try new things and revisit old passions you gave up long ago. Setting aside just one hour a week for personal exploration can significantly change your life and help you focus on goal setting.

2. Focus on Your Strengths

Did you know that you are more likely to succeed when you develop your natural strengths rather than work on your weaknesses? The problem is that you probably don’t know where your true talents lie.

Advertising

Once you understand what makes you tick, you can use these skills at work and your personal life to get more done in less time. If you boost your unique abilities through practice and study, you can accelerate your career and become a leader in a field that matters to you. It’s worth investing in yourself this way.

3. Jumping off a Cliff is NOT Required

Here’s the deal: most people are too afraid to change. When participants first come to my workshops, they tell me they have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and fear that if they follow their dreams, someone will get hurt.

The old saying “leap and the net shall appear” does not comfort them. Because they are hesitant to plunge into the unknown, they believe their only option is to stay put where they are in life. Can you relate?

You do not have to sacrifice the life you have now to start a new one. I was a psychology professor by day and singer by night for years before I transitioned into a full-time music career.

To use this principle for success, take a little time out each week to do what enlivens you through a hobby, volunteer work, etc. Get a feel for it. Is it what you really want? If it’s what you really want to be doing, increase the time you spend doing it and make the transition when the time feels right.

4. Give Your Inner Critic Some Love

The main culprit that keeps you from stepping outside your comfort zone and getting the life of your dreams is KCRP or K-CRAP, the radio station that plays 24/7 in your head. The moment you try to do something interesting with your life, it slaps you down with such chart-topping killer hooks as “Who do you think you are?” and “You’ll never be good enough!”.

Have you ever noticed that KCRP’s mean-spirited DJ sounds like your parents, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures who shut you down creatively? These folks don’t need to stifle you any longer (although they often still do) because your inner critic does it for them. That keeps you stuck in a rut[3].

Silencing your inner critic is one of the best principles for success.

    To break free, try thinking of this DJ as a gruff old grandfather who gives you crap to keep you safe. Remember, this grumpy grandpa is woefully out of touch with the times. Give him a pat on the back for his good intentions, and put your focus back on what makes you come alive.

    This is one of the principles for success that will give you the courage to venture into the unknown where you can dance to the beat of your own drummer.

    Advertising

    5. Embrace Your Inner Self

    Many of us don’t go after our dreams because we’re afraid people will find out how odd or strange we are. However, our little eccentricities often turn out to be our greatest strengths.

    Odds are that you lost track of your true passions and talents before you were even old enough to know you were getting off-track. You became slowly “adulterated” by learning to:

    • Take on family roles that don’t match who you really are.
    • Spit back what teachers taught you in school rather than risk getting bad grades for being original.
    • Hide parts of yourself that don’t seem acceptable to certain social groups.

    The price for fitting in is that you may wind up leading a life that doesn’t fit you all that well. Your true calling becomes clear when you embrace what makes you different from others and allow yourself to stand out from the crowd, even if it feels awkward. Often, the very qualities you view as your flaws are your greatest gifts.

    Here’s How to Listen to Your Inner Voice for Greater Fulfillment.

    6. See the Bigger Picture to Find Your True Calling

    I cannot stress the importance of this success principle enough. Your true calling is right in front of you, but you may miss it because you’re looking for it in the wrong place.

    To “see” it clearly, try widening your point of view.

    Case in point: Maria felt she needed to retire early from being a police detective, so she could travel abroad. I encouraged Maria to think of ways that she could continue to serve as a law enforcer (a career she loved) and travel overseas at the same time.

    A few months later, Maria landed a job with the United Nations in Bosnia training the local police force to understand and embrace human rights procedures.

    Like Maria, you are an everyday rock star capable of accomplishing greater things than you can imagine. Is what you’re looking for right in front of you, too? Do you have an inkling of what it may be?

    Look beyond your day-to-day activities, your current job, and even the town you live in. View your life from an eagle’s perspective and be open to new possibilities.

    Advertising

    7. Try a Little Wish-List Magic

    Pretend I’m your fairy godmother, and I give you permission right now to be your most magnificent self. What kind of life would be music to your ears? It doesn’t matter whether it seems unattainable or even downright crazy. Write it down on a wish list.

    What would you like your career, your relationships, your health, your finances, and your spiritual life to be like? Jot down enough details so that your wishes seem tangible to you. Then, look at this list every morning before you start your day and every night before you go to sleep.

    8. Take Breaks to Get Clues About Your Ideal Future

    Did you know that working straight through to a deadline leads to diminishing returns? Research shows that taking a break for 15 minutes every 75 to 90 minutes can help you recharge, refresh your focus, and get more done in less time[4].

    Furthermore, a Stanford study shows that walking increases your creative output by 60 percent. Doing repetitive activities such as walking, running, riding your bike, swimming, and sweeping allow solutions to problems to pop into your mind out of nowhere[5].

    What does this success principle have to do with creating your dream life?

    These mini-breaks allow you to get vital clues for what to do next to attain your ideal future. Plus, you won’t waste precious time and energy getting lost in other people’s agendas.

    9. Take Action on Your Inspired Ideas

    Once an inspired thought pops into your mind, take action.

    This is one of the most powerful principles for success for turning your dreams into reality; the sooner the better. Whatever it is—from calling an old friend to taking a new route home—be sure to do it!

    Pay attention to your oddball hunches. You need to go after what you want, not just dream about it. As comedian Jim Carrey warns,

    “You can’t just visualize and go eat a sandwich.”

    To learn more about how to get off autopilot and take specific actions towards your goals, check out this video:

    10. Count Your Rockstar Moments

    Still not sure you have what it takes to get your dream life? This final success principle is guaranteed to help.

    Make a list of everything you’ve ever accomplished. As you read back through it, put a star next to each item, and let it sink in.

    You’ll be pleasantly surprised by how good you’ll feel about yourself afterward. You’ll also see how effective you’ve been in the past at getting what you want. You’ve succeeded before, and you can succeed again.

    Final Thoughts

    Eleanor Roosevelt said,

    “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

    Following these principles for success will help you find the time and energy to achieve your goals and live with clear intention.

    Stand still, get quiet, and listen. Your life is constantly telling you what you need to do to realize your own rock star potential in life and business. It may be just a whisper now, but the more you pay attention to it, the louder it will get, and the easier it will be to follow.

    More About Success in Life

    Featured photo credit: Rahul Dey via unsplash.com

    Reference

    Read Next