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10 Simple Ways To Keep A Fulfilling Relationship

10 Simple Ways To Keep A Fulfilling Relationship

In order for you to experience a fulfilling relationship, you must invest the time and energy to develop the relationship and to invest in your own personal development and self growth. You can’t have one without the other. The investment in the relationship and the investment in your personal development is the secret sauce to having a relationship that is both satisfying and fascinating. A fulfilling relationship includes two partners who both invest in their own development just as much as developing the relationship.

Small baby steps will completely transform your relationship. Before you can make big changes in your relationship, you must take thousands of small steps. These steps are both positive and brings excitement in the relationship. This excitement encourages the both of you to live a better life. Not only will your relationship reap the small changes but so will you within your own individual life. Below are 10 simple ways that you can start taking today in order for you to keep and maintain a fulfilling relationship.

1. Live without expectations.

Don’t just expect your partner to do something to make you happy.

Expecting that your partner will do a specific action for you to be happy is a foolish way of thinking. How would you feel if your partner always expected you to call as soon as you finished work? I’m sure you would feel a sense of  pressure and obligation. Nobody wants to feel obligated to do anything. You would be more than willing to call your partner after work if you didn’t feel obligated. Put yourself in the shoes of your partner. If you’re expecting your partner to always make you happy, you will never be completely satisfied in your life.

A relationship is a bond between two individuals that has something to put on the table. You can’t expect your partner to be the end-all, be-all to your happiness. You must take responsibility for your happiness and have your partner contribute to your happiness. A fulfilling relationship is when both individuals contribute to each other’s happiness, but without any expectations. You are the one who decides for yourself if you are happy or unhappy. Don’t put that decision on your partner. Remember, your partner can only contribute to your happiness.

2. Focus on improving your flaws.

Look at yourself first instead of pointing out the flaws of your partner.

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It’s human nature to point out the flaws of others before looking at our own flaws. For you to experience a fulfilling relationship, you must learn the importance of focusing on improving your own flaws rather than pointing out the flaws of your partner. We all have imperfections—that is part of who we are. When a disagreement occurs between you and your partner, look within first before looking at the flaws of your partner. If you focus too much on your partner’s flaws, you will end up being judgmental and critical. This does nothing but weaken the foundation of your relationship.

Next time you are in disagreement with your partner, instead of pointing the finger at your partner, point the finger at yourself and ask, “What do I need to improve on?” It may be the ability to fully listen to your partner’s perspective or not being so stubborn and hardheaded. Whatever it may be, look at yourself for the solution rather than looking at your partner as the problem. You will only be treading water if you continue to focus on your partner’s flaws. Make the commitment today to start focusing on your own personal development. Not only will you benefit from this, but also your relationship.

3. Be calm before the storm.

Don’t just react immediately when your partner does something that upsets you.

Immediately attacking your partner after they have upset you will only make the situation worse. Think about the saying, “the calm before the storm.” This is the peaceful and quiet period before a period of trouble and distress. I know from personal experience how easy it can be to react to your partner when they make you upset. It takes patience and the ability to consciously stop yourself from reacting negatively. It will not be an overnight fix; rather, it will be a long term change of behavior. It will be your behavior that will either worsen the storm or lessen the winds of impact. It’s your decision to make.

Just remember, if you continue to react negatively towards your partner whenever they upset you, they are more likely to hide anything that will make you upset. Do you want to establish a foundation that is based on secrets and lies? I’m sure you don’t. So, practice the strategy of taking deep breaths and consciously stopping yourself from reacting negatively. Understand where your partner is coming from and communicate in a way that is effective and encourages positive dialogue. Commit to developing a solid foundation of trust, commitment and patience.

4. Set boundaries.

Let each other know about these boundaries and decide what you’ll do if the boundaries have been crossed.

Setting boundaries for your own well-being and also for the well-being of your relationship is key to experiencing a fulfilling and satisfying relationship. Without boundaries, how do you or your partner know where to draw the line? Setting boundaries will establish a solid foundation. Think of a house being built. There is a blueprint of how the house should be built. Without this blueprint, the house will be built on a weak foundation. It’s the same with your relationship. The boundaries are the blueprint in which you and your partner establish in order to experience a fulfilling relationship.

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You and your partner must decide the boundaries that you want to establish in your relationship. Think about your personal values and beliefs that you have for yourself. What do you value and what do you believe in? The answers will help you create boundaries in your relationship. If you value honesty and open communication be sure to establish this in your relationship. A boundary of this can be, “If your partner lies to you on a continuous basis and lacks the ability to have open communication, then the consequence is to break up.” Again, you are the only one who will decide the boundaries that you want to have in your relationship. Be clear with your boundaries, effectively communicate why it’s important to you and what the consequences are if these boundaries are crossed.

5. Develop your own sense of direction.

Even though you are in a relationship, continue to develop yourself as an individual.

When you’re on cloud 9, it’s easy to forget about your personal needs. You tag along your partner and put your needs aside. What happens when you do this? You lose yourself and become resentful because your partner is living out their dreams but you’re not. You will need to balance developing your relationship and also developing yourself. As I’ve shared with you in the beginning of this article, in order for you to experience a fulfilling relationship, you must invest into your relationship just as much as you invest into your personal development.

A fulfilling relationship is a combination of your dreams and the dreams of your partner. It’s about putting both of your dreams on the table and encouraging each other to pursue these dreams. A healthy relationship requires both partners to express themselves and their needs. Make sure that you develop your purpose just as much as you encourage your partner to do the same.

6. Be curious about your partner.

No matter what challenges come your way, always make it a precedent to be curious about your partner and their needs.

This has become a precedent that I have set in my own marriage. Every evening after work, my husband and I sit on the couch and just ask each other thought-provoking questions. These questions allow both of us to better understand each other. Never allow the stress of life to take over your relationship. Continue to push stress back and develop the foundation of your relationship.

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Ever wonder why young children are so curious about life? They are excited to share all that they learning about the world. The curiosity and excitement of a young child should inspire you to do the same with your partner. Be curious and excited to learn more about your partner. What interests them? What makes them happy? What brings them to tears? Questions like these will help you establish the a colorful love map of your partner.

7. Step away from the crowd.

Instead of living up to society’s standard, decide for yourself the type of relationship you want to have.

We live in a society where we are constantly surrounded by noise. This noise can have an influence with how we handle our relationship, whether it be what we see in the magazines or reality shows. Instead of being influenced by the noise of society, decide with your partner on the relationship you want to nurture. A fulfilling relationship focuses on both partners’ individual needs with what the relationship needs as a whole.

Be clear with the kind of relationship you want to experience with your partner. Don’t just copy what you see on the television or in a magazine. It’s important for you to decide the foundation in which your relationship is built upon. Focus on your individual needs and what a healthy and happy relationship looks like to you.

8. Develop a common purpose.

Find a passion that both of you have in common and make sure you take the time to develop your passion.

Personally, I’ve experienced the power of developing a common purpose. My husband John and I are very passionate about helping others in life and marriage. With this passion, we have decided to make it our mission to help individuals and couples live a life truly worth living. This is our common purpose where we gain a sense of togetherness and inspiration. We not only are helping others but indirectly helping our life and marriage.

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Find out a common purpose that you and your partner share. This may be snowboarding or traveling. Whatever your common purpose may be, make sure you take the time to develop it. A fulfilling relationship is a balance between “individual dreams” and “together dreams.” Take the time to nurture both!

9. Be hungry for personal development.

Constantly feed your mind with ways on how to grow and develop both as an individual and as a couple.

We are all lifelong learners. Even when you’re 87 years old, you will still learn something new. Everyday should be an opportunity for you to grow, develop and deepen the wisdom of life. This includes both your individual development and as the development of your relationship. Read personal development and relationship books that will give you the wisdom to live a better life. I suggest that you get yourself a library card and read, read, read. There are endless amounts of books at the library for you to gain wisdom from. Also, instead of listening to the radio in your car, grab some audio programs from the library and start listening to them in the car. Did you know that the american commuter spends 38 hours a year stuck in traffic? Instead of being stressed about the traffic, listen to a personal development or marriage audio program. This will not only decrease your stress level but you are gaining wisdom at the same time.

The energy of a relationship will effect  both individuals. Feed this energy with inspiration every single day. Constantly look for ways to develop yourself and your relationship. Never stop learning. For when you stop, you stop growing.

10. Surround yourself with positive people.

Be very selective with the people you surround yourself with. They will indirectly influence your relationship.

The people you hang around with do influence you. I remember a time when I had a friend who would brag about the gifts her husband would buy her. She would show it off and it always made me feel bad about myself. It was as if I had to compete with her. This negative way of thinking is not necessary and can be avoided. This makes me think about society’s standard of living. Never fall into the trap of keeping up with the Joneses. Your relationship will suffer and your individual happiness will never be satisfied. Be careful with the people you call friends. They indirectly influence how you think and act. Surround yourself with people who are like-minded who value what you value.

These 10 simple ways to keep a fulfilling relationship will take time to establish but once your foundation is solid, you’ll look back and be happy that you started making the small necessary steps to changing your relationship!

More by this author

Tiffany Mason

Tiffany is a life coach empowering women to unleash their feminine essence & design a meaningful life & marriage.

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Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How to Crush Your Lack of Motivation and Always Stay Motivated

How many times have you not achieved your goals and let yourself down due to your lack of motivation? When you’re not wallowing in sadness and self-pity, you are too busy procrastinating till you can’t anymore and before you know it, you are part of vicious cycle of anxiety and stress.

Whether it’s losing weight or bringing your business to fruition – motivation is essential for growth and success in every sphere of our lives.

That said, it is not easy staying motivated. In order to constantly stay motivated, you need to take ownership of your life and consciously make efforts in that direction.

Well, it’s never too late to take matters in your hands and change the course of your life. Here are 11 effective ways to crush your lack of motivation and always stay motivated:

1. Write Your Goals

The power of writing goals down has always been underestimated. Why write when you can remember, right? Wrong.

Our thoughts are all over the place and the first step to achieve your goals is to organize your thoughts. So, write your goals down, however big or small they might be. Make them as specific as possible and assign deadlines to each of them.

As you write them down and revisit them regularly, they get further drilled in your head, taking you closer to your goals. Doing this small exercise helps you to remain focused, motivated and lets you track your progress with ease.

Start today – take to your laptop or a diary and get down to writing what you wish to achieve in life.

2. Beat Procrastination

Your lack of motivation and procrastination go hand in hand. Every time you procrastinate, your motivation levels take a greater hit. The only way to bring an end to this loop is to stop procrastinating.

Next time you find yourself putting off something for ‘later’, stop and assess the reasons behind it. Get to the root of the cause and eliminate it in order to overcome this poor habit of procrastinating which is sabotaging your life and mental health.

Take a look at this guide and learn how to beat procrastination:

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What Is Procrastination (And the Complete Guide to Stop Procrastinating)

When you finally overcome procrastination, you will realize the positive impact it has on your mood and motivation levels.

3. Celebrate Small Wins

In the quest to achieve the bigger goals in life, we often forget to celebrate the smaller wins along the way. An achievement is an achievement – be it big or small, it deserves to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Finished a project on time? Reward yourself. Managed to run on the treadmill for a good one hour? Pat yourself on the back. Found time to meditate? Celebrate it.

It is these small achievements that reinstate that we are on the right path and take us one step closer to the bigger goals.

So, get into the habit of recognizing and appreciating small wins. You will be surprised to see how this practice helps you stay motivated.

4. Practice Gratitude

It’s easier to whine about what we don’t have rather than counting our blessings. Isn’t it?

Making gratefulness a part of your life is a very important step to retain high motivational levels. It revitalizes our spirits and renews our enthusiasm for life.

So, how do you practice gratitude? For starters, keep a gratitude journal to jot down what you are grateful for, express your gratitude to people you love and spread positivity wherever you go. If you need some inspiration to be thankful for, here it is:

60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

By doing so, you begin to focus more on what you have rather than what you don’t and that is a great start to stay motivated.

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5. Be Optimistic

Life is not always hunky dory. There will be bad days when things aren’t going in your favor, when you feel lost and all you want to do is give up.

At such times, instead of letting negativity take over your life, adopt an optimistic approach to life. Quit overthinking, ask the right questions and focus on finding solutions.

Yes, there will be hurdles along the way but if you hang on to positive affirmations and hopes, the journey will be a lot smoother. So, with every passing day, sow the seeds of positivity and you are sure to build a positive environment around you.

6. Don’t Dwell on the Past

A lot of times, our lack of motivation stems from the habit of dwelling on the past. This gives rise to fear and regrets, preventing us from making progress in the present day.

Dwelling on the past is nothing but a waste of time. Understand that the past is long gone, and you cannot do anything to change that.

What you can do is make your present day worthwhile. Instead of looking back and having regrets, learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on.

So, the next time you find your mind wandering off to the past, be determined to change the way you think and consciously concentrate on living in the present. This guide can help you:

10 Simple Steps To Let Go Of The Past

7. Face your Fears

You can never find motivation where there is fear. Identify the fear that is pulling you back and tackle it.

If you don’t face your fear head on, you cannot expect to conquer it and renew your motivation.

Ask yourself: What is stopping you? What are you scared of?

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Once you accept your fear, you can work on an action plan and think of solutions to overcome it. This article will give you some effective tips on conquering your fears:

How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

Seek external help if required but don’t choose to turn a blind eye over your fears – it will only aggravate matters.

8. Visualize your Success

You must have heard the famous quote, ‘see it to believe it’. That is exactly what visualization is about.

One of the most effective self-motivation techniques, visualizing the process to your desired outcome helps you move in a positive direction and achieve your goal.

Close your eyes and focus all your energies on the minutest of details that will take you where you want to reach. Doing this exercise everyday inspires you to keep going and not lose hope. The vision of attaining success will drive you to do better while instilling belief and confidence.

9. Find Inspiration

Can’t seem to find inspiration inwards? Don’t panic. There are plenty of external sources to gain inspiration from.

From motivational books and quotes to speeches, films and apps – it is a good idea to take help from motivational material to rekindle your spirits and regain your motivation.

Everyone is wired differently. For instance, a self-help book might work for your friend, but it might do nothing to move you. So, find what inspires you and turn to it when you are in desperate need for motivation.

Finding inspiration externally fills you with hope and sometimes that is all you need.

10. Enjoy Downtime

You are clearly exhausted with all the running you’re doing in life. So much, that you don’t even have time to stop and think what’s causing you so much unhappiness. All you know is that you are lacking motivation and everyday seems to have become a struggle.

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Now, that’s certainly not how you should live the rest of your life.

You need to schedule downtime for yourself, relax and give your mind and body some rest. Take a vacation, indulge in hobbies, meet some friends, put your hair down and stop with all the overthinking. It is important to do things that make you happy in order to think clearly and stay motivated.

11. Meditate Regularly

Meditation lets you take control of your mind. It improves focus and concentration while helping you relax.

Whenever you have had a tough day or find your thoughts going places, the best way to calm yourself down is by closing your eyes and meditating. It helps you to remove all the unnecessary frills in life and keeps you on the right track.

Include meditation in your daily schedule and you are sure to see an improvement in your productivity and motivation.

The Bottom Line

Practicing these simple exercises isn’t the tough part, what’s tough is religiously doing them every day.

However, don’t expect to get rid of your lack of motivation overnight. There will still be days when you will be low on energy but by making these conscious efforts to stay motivated, you are sure to see a vast change in your perspective and your response to bad days.

So, start today and be committed to making a positive change in your life.

More Tips About Staying Motivated

Featured photo credit: Sonnie Hiles via unsplash.com

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