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12 Powerful Habits of Happy Relationships

12 Powerful Habits of Happy Relationships

Habits can have a powerful impact in your relationship. The definition of a habit is: “a consistent and regular pattern of behavior”. You can either create positive habits or negative habits, and once you start practicing them, they will eventually become an act that is unconscious. When it comes to having a happy relationship, there are certain habits that can have a powerful and positive impact. It’s important for you to be conciseness when creating routines, especially for your relationship. You will need to make an effort every single day to practice them so they become second nature to you. It takes about 21 days to establish a habit, whether it’s positive or negative. In this article, I will share with you 12 powerful habits of happy relationships. These habits have helped both in my marriage, and for the couples that I have worked with. Implement each of these habits in your relationship and start reconnecting with your partner!

1. Always show respect to your partner

Showing respect to your partner is a habit that is worth creating, as it’s a necessary ingredient for creating a happy, healthy and long lasting connection. When you express respect towards your partner, you are expressing your love, acceptance, and warmth. When you express disrespect, you are expressing that you don’t accept your partner. Respecting your partner is all about valuing them for who they are, including differences. You may have a different outlook on life but this does not mean that you should disrespect your partner and put them down.

When you experience disagreements, make sure that you respect your partner’s differences. This does not allow you to disrespect your partner out in public or in front of friends and family. Always show respect especially when you have a disagreement. There will be times where you don’t agree on an issue and it will be how you handle this issue as a team that will make all the difference in the world.

2. Go walking with your partner

This is a habit that my husband and I have created where we have noticed a deeper connection in our relationship. If you love nature and spending quality of time with your partner, make it a habit to go walking—either in the mornings before you start your day, or in the evenings. John and I walk in the evenings and Sunday mornings.  It is a mental decision that we make every day to go walking together. This promotes conversation, quality time, and exposure to fresh air. Once you establish this habit, your body will actually want to go walking. I’ve experienced this with John: Since we’ve made it a habit of walking in the evenings and Sunday mornings, my body craves to spend that quality of time. Walking with your partner also promotes good exercise, and can be as simple as walking up down your block and back. Decide with your partner how long and how often you would like to walk; the key factor is being on the same page and making sure that you make the mental decision to establish this habit together.

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3. Turn off the television in the evenings and be with your partner

How can you possibly connect with your partner when the television is always on? There is no connection building when the both of you are constantly staring at the television screen in the evenings. Make the mental decision to turn off the TV in the evenings, and spend quality time together. Occasionally, you can snuggle and watch a movie, but avoid watching television most evenings. Take time to ask your partner about their day and how they’re doing. This habit creates connection and love. Snuggle up on the couch and talk with your partner; talk about each other and what the two of you can do to develop your relationship. There will always be something to talk about, whether it’s planning for the next vacation or your next date night. Focus on developing your relationship, and talk about issues that need to be addressed.

4. Bring your partner coffee in the morning

This simple gesture means a lot to my husband. He enjoys drinking coffee, and bringing it to him in the morning expresses love and affection. If your partner likes to drink coffee in the morning, create this habit and express love through this act of service. When I bring John a cup of coffee, it shows that I care, and that this is one way I can love him. Wake up a few minutes earlier so that you and your partner can spend some quality time together before going to work. This is a simple yet powerful habit of happy relationships.

5. Express positive attributes about your partner to others

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    The habit of expressing positive attributes about your partner will help deepen the connection in your relationship. On the contrary, expressing negative attributes about your partner will only build a tall wall between the two of you. Do you know a couple that always argues in public and expresses negative traits about each other to friends? This is a bad habit that eventually destroys a relationship. This negative pattern of behavior creates mistrust, disconnection and lack of respect. Make a habit of expressing positive attributes to others. This positive pattern of behavior creates admiration, fondness and love.

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    6. Reconnect throughout the day

    We have such busy schedules that connecting with your partner throughout the day can be last priority, but if you want to have a happy, long-lasting relationship, reconnecting with your partner throughout the day is crucial. It can be as simple as sending a loving text during your lunch break or giving your partner a call on the way home. This habit is meant to keep the connection and focus with your partner. Even if you have a hectic schedule, you can still make the time to spend a text message or give your partner a phone call. Be creative. Think of ways that you can do to reconnect with your partner throughout the day.

    7. Speak your partner’s love language every single day

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      Gary Chapman wrote a great book on the5 love languages in which couples can express and experience their language of love and affection. When looking at these 5 love languages, take time to find out how you feel most loved and how your partner feels most love. Imagine you have a love tank inside of you. Every time your partner talks your love language, your love tank is being filled. Every time your partner doesn’t express your love language, your love tank runs low. When it comes to powerful habits of happy relationships, creating the habit of talking your partner’s love language on a daily basis establishes love, affection and warmth in your relationship.

      8. Cooking and cleaning

      It’s always much more fun when you cook with your partner. I know that I enjoy cooking a lot more when John helps out. The habit of cooking together creates intimacy, connection and love; making and eating food becomes an intimate act when you are with your partner. I express my love through cooking and eating with my husband (with the television off), which builds a deeper connection between us. This is a perfect opportunity to spend quality time together.

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      If you or your partner prefers doing the cooking, make it a habit that the other person cleans. A habit that John and I do is that whenever I cook, he cleans up afterwards, and vice-versa. When John cleans up after I cook, it shows appreciation for my cooking and that he values me. It’s important that you always appreciate and value your partner, even if it’s as simple as cleaning the dishes. It’s nice to to know that John appreciates the love that I put in my cooking and wanting to do the dishes is a sign of love affection.

      9. Express appreciation to your partner every day

      Appreciate your partner! It’s as simple as that. However you want to express appreciation in your relationship, do it. Do it every single day. When it comes to powerful habits of happy relationships, it’s about expressing your appreciation to your partner. This can be leaving a love note before going to work or bringing home flowers at the end of the love. This goes back to speaking your partner’s love language. Find out your partner’s love language and express your appreciation for your partner through their love language. If your partner feels move loved by quality of time, make sure that when you get home from work, “Turn off” and focus your attention on your partner. Sit on the couch and just be with your partner. Whichever love language that your partner speaks, make sure that you speak the same language. Make it a habit of showing appreciation to your partner every single day.

      10. Work together as a team towards goals (short & long term)

      A happy relationship focuses on short and long term goals. These goals are both for each individual and also as a couple. Unhappy couples have nothing to look forward to in life. They just waste their time on superficial nonsense and trying to live up to society’s standard of happiness. Focus within your relationship on creating, establishing and accomplishing goals. Happy couples have goals that are both small and big. Follow this goal setting template and start nurturing the connection with your partner.

      11. Spend quality of  time in the morning to reflect and be with partner before starting the day

      It’s easy to get into a training routine in which you wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, fall asleep and start all over again the next day. This routine definitely starts draining your relationship and the connection that you have with your partner. We have such busy schedules that it’s even more important to take time in the mornings and reflect with your partner. Focus on what brought you two together and appreciate that. It’s easy to allow stress, frustration and distractions to get in the way of having a happy relationship, but when you take the time in the mornings to love and appreciate your partner, you are establishing a habit that is filled with warmth, affection and care.

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      12. Snuggle in the mornings and evenings

      Take the time to snuggle before starting your day and before going to bed. This can be as simple as holding each other in bed for a few minutes before starting the day. Did you know that physical touch releases a hormone called Oxytocin? The more you experience physical touch with your partner, your oxytocin level increases. After a long day of work, take time before going to bed and cuddle!

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        Tiffany Mason

        Tiffany is a life coach empowering women to unleash their feminine essence & design a meaningful life & marriage.

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        Last Updated on October 22, 2019

        How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

        How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

        When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

        With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

        Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

        By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

        So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

        From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

        “Attitude is Tattoo”

        Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

        If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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        Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

        Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

        It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

        When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

        Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

        Believe You Can Do It

        Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

        It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

        Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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        Embrace Failure

        Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

        Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

        Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

        Start Making the Change

        But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

        Why is that?

        Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

        It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

        So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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        Write down What You Want to Change

        Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

        Tell a Friend and Talk About It

        Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

        When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

        Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

        Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

        Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

        Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

        You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

        As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

        Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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        Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

        When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

        Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

        Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

        Final Thoughts

        You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

        The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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        Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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