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12 Powerful Habits of Happy Relationships

12 Powerful Habits of Happy Relationships

Habits can have a powerful impact in your relationship. The definition of a habit is: “a consistent and regular pattern of behavior”. You can either create positive habits or negative habits, and once you start practicing them, they will eventually become an act that is unconscious. When it comes to having a happy relationship, there are certain habits that can have a powerful and positive impact. It’s important for you to be conciseness when creating routines, especially for your relationship. You will need to make an effort every single day to practice them so they become second nature to you. It takes about 21 days to establish a habit, whether it’s positive or negative. In this article, I will share with you 12 powerful habits of happy relationships. These habits have helped both in my marriage, and for the couples that I have worked with. Implement each of these habits in your relationship and start reconnecting with your partner!

1. Always show respect to your partner

Showing respect to your partner is a habit that is worth creating, as it’s a necessary ingredient for creating a happy, healthy and long lasting connection. When you express respect towards your partner, you are expressing your love, acceptance, and warmth. When you express disrespect, you are expressing that you don’t accept your partner. Respecting your partner is all about valuing them for who they are, including differences. You may have a different outlook on life but this does not mean that you should disrespect your partner and put them down.

When you experience disagreements, make sure that you respect your partner’s differences. This does not allow you to disrespect your partner out in public or in front of friends and family. Always show respect especially when you have a disagreement. There will be times where you don’t agree on an issue and it will be how you handle this issue as a team that will make all the difference in the world.

2. Go walking with your partner

This is a habit that my husband and I have created where we have noticed a deeper connection in our relationship. If you love nature and spending quality of time with your partner, make it a habit to go walking—either in the mornings before you start your day, or in the evenings. John and I walk in the evenings and Sunday mornings.  It is a mental decision that we make every day to go walking together. This promotes conversation, quality time, and exposure to fresh air. Once you establish this habit, your body will actually want to go walking. I’ve experienced this with John: Since we’ve made it a habit of walking in the evenings and Sunday mornings, my body craves to spend that quality of time. Walking with your partner also promotes good exercise, and can be as simple as walking up down your block and back. Decide with your partner how long and how often you would like to walk; the key factor is being on the same page and making sure that you make the mental decision to establish this habit together.

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3. Turn off the television in the evenings and be with your partner

How can you possibly connect with your partner when the television is always on? There is no connection building when the both of you are constantly staring at the television screen in the evenings. Make the mental decision to turn off the TV in the evenings, and spend quality time together. Occasionally, you can snuggle and watch a movie, but avoid watching television most evenings. Take time to ask your partner about their day and how they’re doing. This habit creates connection and love. Snuggle up on the couch and talk with your partner; talk about each other and what the two of you can do to develop your relationship. There will always be something to talk about, whether it’s planning for the next vacation or your next date night. Focus on developing your relationship, and talk about issues that need to be addressed.

4. Bring your partner coffee in the morning

This simple gesture means a lot to my husband. He enjoys drinking coffee, and bringing it to him in the morning expresses love and affection. If your partner likes to drink coffee in the morning, create this habit and express love through this act of service. When I bring John a cup of coffee, it shows that I care, and that this is one way I can love him. Wake up a few minutes earlier so that you and your partner can spend some quality time together before going to work. This is a simple yet powerful habit of happy relationships.

5. Express positive attributes about your partner to others

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    The habit of expressing positive attributes about your partner will help deepen the connection in your relationship. On the contrary, expressing negative attributes about your partner will only build a tall wall between the two of you. Do you know a couple that always argues in public and expresses negative traits about each other to friends? This is a bad habit that eventually destroys a relationship. This negative pattern of behavior creates mistrust, disconnection and lack of respect. Make a habit of expressing positive attributes to others. This positive pattern of behavior creates admiration, fondness and love.

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    6. Reconnect throughout the day

    We have such busy schedules that connecting with your partner throughout the day can be last priority, but if you want to have a happy, long-lasting relationship, reconnecting with your partner throughout the day is crucial. It can be as simple as sending a loving text during your lunch break or giving your partner a call on the way home. This habit is meant to keep the connection and focus with your partner. Even if you have a hectic schedule, you can still make the time to spend a text message or give your partner a phone call. Be creative. Think of ways that you can do to reconnect with your partner throughout the day.

    7. Speak your partner’s love language every single day

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      Gary Chapman wrote a great book on the5 love languages in which couples can express and experience their language of love and affection. When looking at these 5 love languages, take time to find out how you feel most loved and how your partner feels most love. Imagine you have a love tank inside of you. Every time your partner talks your love language, your love tank is being filled. Every time your partner doesn’t express your love language, your love tank runs low. When it comes to powerful habits of happy relationships, creating the habit of talking your partner’s love language on a daily basis establishes love, affection and warmth in your relationship.

      8. Cooking and cleaning

      It’s always much more fun when you cook with your partner. I know that I enjoy cooking a lot more when John helps out. The habit of cooking together creates intimacy, connection and love; making and eating food becomes an intimate act when you are with your partner. I express my love through cooking and eating with my husband (with the television off), which builds a deeper connection between us. This is a perfect opportunity to spend quality time together.

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      If you or your partner prefers doing the cooking, make it a habit that the other person cleans. A habit that John and I do is that whenever I cook, he cleans up afterwards, and vice-versa. When John cleans up after I cook, it shows appreciation for my cooking and that he values me. It’s important that you always appreciate and value your partner, even if it’s as simple as cleaning the dishes. It’s nice to to know that John appreciates the love that I put in my cooking and wanting to do the dishes is a sign of love affection.

      9. Express appreciation to your partner every day

      Appreciate your partner! It’s as simple as that. However you want to express appreciation in your relationship, do it. Do it every single day. When it comes to powerful habits of happy relationships, it’s about expressing your appreciation to your partner. This can be leaving a love note before going to work or bringing home flowers at the end of the love. This goes back to speaking your partner’s love language. Find out your partner’s love language and express your appreciation for your partner through their love language. If your partner feels move loved by quality of time, make sure that when you get home from work, “Turn off” and focus your attention on your partner. Sit on the couch and just be with your partner. Whichever love language that your partner speaks, make sure that you speak the same language. Make it a habit of showing appreciation to your partner every single day.

      10. Work together as a team towards goals (short & long term)

      A happy relationship focuses on short and long term goals. These goals are both for each individual and also as a couple. Unhappy couples have nothing to look forward to in life. They just waste their time on superficial nonsense and trying to live up to society’s standard of happiness. Focus within your relationship on creating, establishing and accomplishing goals. Happy couples have goals that are both small and big. Follow this goal setting template and start nurturing the connection with your partner.

      11. Spend quality of  time in the morning to reflect and be with partner before starting the day

      It’s easy to get into a training routine in which you wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, fall asleep and start all over again the next day. This routine definitely starts draining your relationship and the connection that you have with your partner. We have such busy schedules that it’s even more important to take time in the mornings and reflect with your partner. Focus on what brought you two together and appreciate that. It’s easy to allow stress, frustration and distractions to get in the way of having a happy relationship, but when you take the time in the mornings to love and appreciate your partner, you are establishing a habit that is filled with warmth, affection and care.

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      12. Snuggle in the mornings and evenings

      Take the time to snuggle before starting your day and before going to bed. This can be as simple as holding each other in bed for a few minutes before starting the day. Did you know that physical touch releases a hormone called Oxytocin? The more you experience physical touch with your partner, your oxytocin level increases. After a long day of work, take time before going to bed and cuddle!

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        Last Updated on June 13, 2019

        How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

        How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

        Think you have a boring life?

        The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

        Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

        1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

        What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

        Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

        2. Go Play with Kids

        Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

        They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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        3. Order a Hot Dog

        While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

        4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

        Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

        5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

        You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

        You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

        6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

        Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

        Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

        7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

        Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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        What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

        8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

        You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

        9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

        Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

        10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

        We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

        11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

        It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

        12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

        This will give you something to look forward to.

        Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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        13. People Watch

        Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

        People are infinitely interesting.

        14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

        Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

        15. Dance

        You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

        If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

        16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

        This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

        17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

        Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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        18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

        Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

        19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

        OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

        20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

        This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

        Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

        Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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        Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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