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12 Powerful Habits of Happy Relationships

12 Powerful Habits of Happy Relationships

Habits can have a powerful impact in your relationship. The definition of a habit is: “a consistent and regular pattern of behavior”. You can either create positive habits or negative habits, and once you start practicing them, they will eventually become an act that is unconscious. When it comes to having a happy relationship, there are certain habits that can have a powerful and positive impact. It’s important for you to be conciseness when creating routines, especially for your relationship. You will need to make an effort every single day to practice them so they become second nature to you. It takes about 21 days to establish a habit, whether it’s positive or negative. In this article, I will share with you 12 powerful habits of happy relationships. These habits have helped both in my marriage, and for the couples that I have worked with. Implement each of these habits in your relationship and start reconnecting with your partner!

1. Always show respect to your partner

Showing respect to your partner is a habit that is worth creating, as it’s a necessary ingredient for creating a happy, healthy and long lasting connection. When you express respect towards your partner, you are expressing your love, acceptance, and warmth. When you express disrespect, you are expressing that you don’t accept your partner. Respecting your partner is all about valuing them for who they are, including differences. You may have a different outlook on life but this does not mean that you should disrespect your partner and put them down.

When you experience disagreements, make sure that you respect your partner’s differences. This does not allow you to disrespect your partner out in public or in front of friends and family. Always show respect especially when you have a disagreement. There will be times where you don’t agree on an issue and it will be how you handle this issue as a team that will make all the difference in the world.

2. Go walking with your partner

This is a habit that my husband and I have created where we have noticed a deeper connection in our relationship. If you love nature and spending quality of time with your partner, make it a habit to go walking—either in the mornings before you start your day, or in the evenings. John and I walk in the evenings and Sunday mornings.  It is a mental decision that we make every day to go walking together. This promotes conversation, quality time, and exposure to fresh air. Once you establish this habit, your body will actually want to go walking. I’ve experienced this with John: Since we’ve made it a habit of walking in the evenings and Sunday mornings, my body craves to spend that quality of time. Walking with your partner also promotes good exercise, and can be as simple as walking up down your block and back. Decide with your partner how long and how often you would like to walk; the key factor is being on the same page and making sure that you make the mental decision to establish this habit together.

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3. Turn off the television in the evenings and be with your partner

How can you possibly connect with your partner when the television is always on? There is no connection building when the both of you are constantly staring at the television screen in the evenings. Make the mental decision to turn off the TV in the evenings, and spend quality time together. Occasionally, you can snuggle and watch a movie, but avoid watching television most evenings. Take time to ask your partner about their day and how they’re doing. This habit creates connection and love. Snuggle up on the couch and talk with your partner; talk about each other and what the two of you can do to develop your relationship. There will always be something to talk about, whether it’s planning for the next vacation or your next date night. Focus on developing your relationship, and talk about issues that need to be addressed.

4. Bring your partner coffee in the morning

This simple gesture means a lot to my husband. He enjoys drinking coffee, and bringing it to him in the morning expresses love and affection. If your partner likes to drink coffee in the morning, create this habit and express love through this act of service. When I bring John a cup of coffee, it shows that I care, and that this is one way I can love him. Wake up a few minutes earlier so that you and your partner can spend some quality time together before going to work. This is a simple yet powerful habit of happy relationships.

5. Express positive attributes about your partner to others

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    The habit of expressing positive attributes about your partner will help deepen the connection in your relationship. On the contrary, expressing negative attributes about your partner will only build a tall wall between the two of you. Do you know a couple that always argues in public and expresses negative traits about each other to friends? This is a bad habit that eventually destroys a relationship. This negative pattern of behavior creates mistrust, disconnection and lack of respect. Make a habit of expressing positive attributes to others. This positive pattern of behavior creates admiration, fondness and love.

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    6. Reconnect throughout the day

    We have such busy schedules that connecting with your partner throughout the day can be last priority, but if you want to have a happy, long-lasting relationship, reconnecting with your partner throughout the day is crucial. It can be as simple as sending a loving text during your lunch break or giving your partner a call on the way home. This habit is meant to keep the connection and focus with your partner. Even if you have a hectic schedule, you can still make the time to spend a text message or give your partner a phone call. Be creative. Think of ways that you can do to reconnect with your partner throughout the day.

    7. Speak your partner’s love language every single day

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      Gary Chapman wrote a great book on the5 love languages in which couples can express and experience their language of love and affection. When looking at these 5 love languages, take time to find out how you feel most loved and how your partner feels most love. Imagine you have a love tank inside of you. Every time your partner talks your love language, your love tank is being filled. Every time your partner doesn’t express your love language, your love tank runs low. When it comes to powerful habits of happy relationships, creating the habit of talking your partner’s love language on a daily basis establishes love, affection and warmth in your relationship.

      8. Cooking and cleaning

      It’s always much more fun when you cook with your partner. I know that I enjoy cooking a lot more when John helps out. The habit of cooking together creates intimacy, connection and love; making and eating food becomes an intimate act when you are with your partner. I express my love through cooking and eating with my husband (with the television off), which builds a deeper connection between us. This is a perfect opportunity to spend quality time together.

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      If you or your partner prefers doing the cooking, make it a habit that the other person cleans. A habit that John and I do is that whenever I cook, he cleans up afterwards, and vice-versa. When John cleans up after I cook, it shows appreciation for my cooking and that he values me. It’s important that you always appreciate and value your partner, even if it’s as simple as cleaning the dishes. It’s nice to to know that John appreciates the love that I put in my cooking and wanting to do the dishes is a sign of love affection.

      9. Express appreciation to your partner every day

      Appreciate your partner! It’s as simple as that. However you want to express appreciation in your relationship, do it. Do it every single day. When it comes to powerful habits of happy relationships, it’s about expressing your appreciation to your partner. This can be leaving a love note before going to work or bringing home flowers at the end of the love. This goes back to speaking your partner’s love language. Find out your partner’s love language and express your appreciation for your partner through their love language. If your partner feels move loved by quality of time, make sure that when you get home from work, “Turn off” and focus your attention on your partner. Sit on the couch and just be with your partner. Whichever love language that your partner speaks, make sure that you speak the same language. Make it a habit of showing appreciation to your partner every single day.

      10. Work together as a team towards goals (short & long term)

      A happy relationship focuses on short and long term goals. These goals are both for each individual and also as a couple. Unhappy couples have nothing to look forward to in life. They just waste their time on superficial nonsense and trying to live up to society’s standard of happiness. Focus within your relationship on creating, establishing and accomplishing goals. Happy couples have goals that are both small and big. Follow this goal setting template and start nurturing the connection with your partner.

      11. Spend quality of  time in the morning to reflect and be with partner before starting the day

      It’s easy to get into a training routine in which you wake up, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, fall asleep and start all over again the next day. This routine definitely starts draining your relationship and the connection that you have with your partner. We have such busy schedules that it’s even more important to take time in the mornings and reflect with your partner. Focus on what brought you two together and appreciate that. It’s easy to allow stress, frustration and distractions to get in the way of having a happy relationship, but when you take the time in the mornings to love and appreciate your partner, you are establishing a habit that is filled with warmth, affection and care.

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      12. Snuggle in the mornings and evenings

      Take the time to snuggle before starting your day and before going to bed. This can be as simple as holding each other in bed for a few minutes before starting the day. Did you know that physical touch releases a hormone called Oxytocin? The more you experience physical touch with your partner, your oxytocin level increases. After a long day of work, take time before going to bed and cuddle!

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        Tiffany Mason

        Tiffany is a life coach empowering women to unleash their feminine essence & design a meaningful life & marriage.

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        Published on September 23, 2020

        6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

        6 Effective Negotiation Skills to Master

        I don’t know about you, but many times when I hear the word negotiate I think of lawyers working out a business deal or having to do battle with a car salesman to try to get a lower price. Since I am in recruiting, the term “negotiation” comes up when someone is attempting to get a higher compensation package.

        If we think about it, we tend to negotiate almost every day in a wide variety of things we do. Getting a handle on the important negotiation skills can be incredibly beneficial in many parts of our lives. Let’s take a look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

        What is Negotiation?

        First, let’s take a look at what negotiation is. Put simply, negotiation is a method by which people settle their differences. It is a process in which compromise or agreement can be reached without argument or dispute.

        Anytime two people or sides disagree on something, they are almost always looking for the best possible outcome for their side. This could be from an individual’s perspective or someone representing an organization.

        In reality, it’s rare that one side gets everything they want and the other side gets nothing that they are seeking. Seeking to reach a common ground of sorts where both sides feel like they are getting most of what they want is the key to being successful and maintaining the relationship.

        Places We Negotiate

        I’ve mentioned that we negotiate in just about all phases of our life. For those of you who are shaking your head no, I invite you to think about the following:

        1. Work/Business

        This one is the most obvious and it’s what naturally comes to mind when we think of the word “negotiate”.

        When you first started at your current job, you might have asked for a higher salary. It could be that you delivered a huge new client to your company and used this as leverage in your most recent evaluation for more compensation. If you work with vendors (and just about every company does), maybe you worked them to a lower price or better contract terms.

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        In recruiting, I negotiate with candidates and hiring managers all the time to land the best talent I can find. It’s very common to accept additional work with the (sometimes spoken, sometimes unspoken) agreement that it will benefit your career in the future.

        Recently, I took over a project that was my boss was working on so that I would be able to attend a conference later in the year. And so it goes, we do this all day long at work.

        2. Personal

        I don’t know about you, but I negotiate with my spouse all the time. I’ll cook dinner with the understanding that she does the dishes. Who wants to mow the lawn and who wants to vacuum and dust the house?

        I think we should save 10% for retirement, but she thinks 5% is plenty. Therefore, we save 8%. And don’t even get me started with my kids. My older daughter can borrow my car as soon as she finishes her chores. My younger daughter can go hang out with her friends when her homework is done.

        Then, there are all those interactions in our personal lives outside our homes. The carpenter wants to charge me $12,000 to build a new deck. I think $10,000 is plenty so we agree on $11,000. I ask my neighbor if I can borrow his snowblower in the winter if I invite him over the next time I grill steak. And so on.

        3. Ourselves

        You didn’t expect this one, did you? We negotiate with ourselves all day long.

        I’ll make sure I don’t skip my workout tomorrow since I’m going to have that extra piece of pizza. My spouse has been quiet the last few days, is it worth me asking her about, or should I leave it alone? I think the car place charged me for some repairs that weren’t needed, should I say something or just let it go? I know my friend has been having some personal challenges, should I check in with him? We’ve been friends for a long time, I’m sure he’d come to me if he needed help. I’ve got the #4 pick in this year’s Fantasy Football draft, should I choose a running back or a wide receiver?

        Think about that non-stop voice inside your head. It always seems to be chattering away about something and many times, it’s us negotiating with ourselves. I’ll finish up that report that the boss needs before I turn on the football game.

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        Why Negotiation Skills Are So Important

        Put simply, negotiation skills are important because we all interact with other people, and not only other people but other organizations and groups of people as well.

        We all rarely want the same thing or outcome. Most of the time a vendor is looking at getting you to pay a higher price for something than you want to spend. Therefore, it’s important to negotiate to some middle ground that works well for both sides.

        My wife and I disagree on how much to save for retirement. If we weren’t married it wouldn’t be an issue. We’d each contribute how much we wanted to on our retirement funds. We choose to be married, so we have to come to some agreement that we both feel comfortable with. We have to compromise. Therefore, we have to negotiate.

        If we each lived on a planet by ourselves, we would be free to do just about anything we wanted to. We wouldn’t have to compromise with anyone because we wouldn’t interact with anyone. We would make every choice unilaterally the way we wanted to.

        As we all know, this isn’t how things are. We are constantly interacting with other people and organizations, each one with their own agenda’s, viewpoints, and opinions. Therefore, we have to be able to work together.

        6 Negotiation Skills to Master

        Having strong negotiation skills helps us create win-win situations with others, allowing us to get most of what we want in conjunction with others around us.

        Now, let’s look at 6 effective negotiation skills to master.

        1. Preparation

        Preparation is a key place to start with when getting ready to negotiate. Being prepared means having a clear vision of what you want and how you’d go about achieving it. It means knowing what the end goal looks like and also what you are willing to give to get it.

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        It also means knowing who you are negotiating with and what areas they might be willing to compromise on. You should also know what your “bottom line” is. By “bottom line” I mean what is the most you are willing to give up to get what you want.

        For instance, several years ago, I decided it was time to get a newer car. I say newer because I wanted a “new to me” car, not a brand new car. I did my research and figured out what type of car I wanted. I decided on what must-have items on the car I wanted, the highest amount of miles that would already be on it, the colors I was willing to get it in, and the highest amount of money I was willing to pay.

        After visiting numerous car dealerships I was able to negotiate buying a car. I knew what I was willing to give up (amount of money) and what I was willing to accept, things like the color, amount of miles, etc. I came prepared. This is critical.

        2. Clear Communication

        The next key skill you need to be an effective negotiator is clear communication. You have to be able to clearly articulate what you want to the other party. This means both clear verbal and written communication.

        If you can’t clearly tell the other person what you want, how do you expect to get it? Have you ever worked through something with a vendor or someone else only to learn of a surprise right at the end that wasn’t talked about before? This is not what you would call clear communication. It’s essential to be able to share a coherent and logical vision with the person you are working with.

        3. Active Listening

        Let’s do a quick review of active listening. This is when you are completely focused on the speaker, understand their message, comprehend the information, and respond appropriately. This is a necessary ingredient to be able to negotiate successfully. You must be able to fully focus on the other person’s wants to completely understand them.

        If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you may miss some major points or details. This leads to frustration down the road on both sides. Ensure you are employing your active listening skills when in arbitration mode.

        4. Teamwork and Collaboration

        To be able to get to a place of common ground and a win-win scenario, you have to have a sense of teamwork and collaboration.

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        If you are only thinking about yourself and what you want without giving much care to what the other person is wanting, you are bound to wind up without a solution. The other person may get frustrated and give up if they see you are unwilling to meet them halfway or care little for what they want.

        When you collaborate, you are working together to help each other get what is most important to you. The other upside to negotiating with a sense of teamwork and collaboration is that it helps create a sense of trust, which, in turn, helps provide positive energy for working to a successful conclusion.

        5. Problem Solving

        Problem-solving is another key negotiation skill. When you are working with the other person to get the deal done many times you’ll face new challenges along the way.

        Maybe you want a new vendor to provide training on the software they are selling you but they say it’s going to cost an additional $20,000 to provide this service. If you don’t have the additional $20,000 in the budget to spend on the software but you feel the training is critical, how are you going to solve that problem?

        From what I’ve seen, most vendors aren’t willing to provide additional services without getting paid for them. This is where problem-solving skills will help continue the discussions. You might suggest to the vendor that your company will also be looking to replace their financial software next year, and you’d be happy to ensure they get one of the first seats at the table when the time comes if they could perhaps lower the pricing on their training.

        There’s a solution to most challenges, but it takes problem-solving skills to work through them effectively.

        6. Decision-Making Ability

        Finally, having strong decision-making ability will help you seal the deal when you get to a place where everyone feels like they are getting what works for them. Each step of the way you can cross off the list when you get what you are looking for and decide to move onto the next item. Then, once you have all of your must-have boxes checked and the other side feels good about things, it’s time to shake hands and sign on the dotted line. Powerful decision-making ability will help you get to the finish line together.

        Conclusion

        There you have it, 6 effective negotiation skills to master to lead a more fulfilling life. Once we realize that we negotiate in one form or another almost every day in every phase of our lives, we realize how critical a skill it is.

        Possessing strong negotiation skills will help you in nearly every one of your relationships at both the workplace and in your personal life. If you feel your arbitration tools could use some sharpening, try some of the 6 effective negotiation skills to master that we’ve talked about.

        More Tips to Improve Your Negotiation Skills

        Featured photo credit: Windows via unsplash.com

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