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17 Phrases That Will Crush Creativity Every Time

17 Phrases That Will Crush Creativity Every Time

First things first: What is creativity?

My eleven year old daughter said, “Creativity is being creative.”

Okay. Good start. But we need to be a little more precise. So, let’s go to the standing authority on definitions. Here’s how the dictionary defines creativity:

The ability to transcend traditional ideas, rules, patterns, relationships, or the like, and to create meaningful new ideas, forms, methods, interpretations, etc.; originality, progressiveness, or imagination.

I think the word that stands out is “originality.” Something new.

Why Is Creativity–Originality for that Matter–Important?

Maria Popova, the founder of Brain Pickings, wrote a good post on a Harper’s Weekly article (“The Usefulness of Useless Knowledge”) that was written back in 1939.

The Harper’s Weekly article was about the role uninhibited curiosity played in technological breakthrough—discoveries that would never occur under regimented conditions.

In essence, the writer argued that pragmatic purposes are not behind breakthroughs. What’s at work is sheer curiosity—allowing someone to explore an idea simply for the sake of satisfying that curiosity.

While those curiosity driven explorations might not end in a significant discovery, those explorations pile up until someone pulls all that information together—and boom. We have a substantial breakthrough.

And that, my friends, is why creativity is important.

How We Kill Creativity (and Help Our Competition)

Now, I’m not shocking anyone by saying this, so here we go: there is a glut of blogs online.

And most of this glut is ho-hum at best.

What that means is something has to give if you want to standout from the crowd, the clutter and the confusion.

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No more excuses (like those I’ll share below). In order to attract attention and keep devoted followers you need to be extraordinarily creative.

But we so often kill great ideas on the spot merely by the things we say. It’s like we push creativity up against the wall—and execute it.

That’s not good.

What’s worse is when we let what other people say kill our creativity.

So, look through this list and see if you ever said one of these statements—or if somebody said it to you. I then let’s eliminate them from our vocabulary.

1. “You’re not paid to be creative.”

Everyone is creative. Accountants, engineers, carpenters, football players and waiters. Naturally, some of us are more creative than others. That’s why we gravitate to the creative fields like writing and graphic design.

Whoever you are—you are paid to be creative. You just need to be more confident.

2. “You’ve got to follow the rules.”

No. What you’ve got to do is learn the rules. Master the rules. So that you can break them in meaningful ways that introduce brilliant new ideas.

Even if you are absolutely forbidden to play outside of the rules, however, no biggie. Rules are good. We couldn’t enjoy a tennis match without rules. Great players find out how to be creative inside those rules.

3. “Don’t ask questions.”

Ugh. If anyone ever says that to you the first thing out of your mouth should be, “Why not?” If they persist in their obstinacy get out. Your job is to ask questions. And it’s one of the ways you become a creative genius.

4. “Don’t rock the boat.”

Ha. I couldn’t survive if I couldn’t rock the boat. You?

5. “Stay within the boundaries.”

This is like, “You’ve got to follow the rules.” Another phrase you’ve got to kill—or it will kill your creativity.

What would happen if we always stayed in the boundaries? We’d never have interesting movies like Blair Witch Project. We’d never have classic books like Ulysses. And we’d never have rock n roll, jazz or dub step.

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We’d also never have climbed Everest, landed on the moon or dove to the bottom of the ocean.

6. “Don’t try anything stupid.”

You kill creativity when you worry about what other people think about you. However, let me be absolutely clear with what I’m not saying: you do not have to put everything on the table so it ridicules or harms others.

Don’t be an exhibitionist for the sake of attention.

No. There is a limit to stupidity in the creative space. Use common sense—and protect people above all.

7. “That’s not practical.”

Sure, most people who are going to pay you to create want your work to be useful. That doesn’t mean your approach or solutions to tackling challenges needs to be practical. Remember: the client or boss tells you what he needs. You get to decide how you accomplish that goal.

When you are alone, however, it’s a completely different story. In your own space and your own medium you get to explore and create with zero hope of doing anything useful.

The practice itself is useful. Useful in restoring your creative passion.

8. “You need to be serious.”

Yes, there is a time for serious.

Funerals. Exams. Court appearances (this is debatable).

But that time usually occurs after your time with creativity. Until then you need to be seriously creative. Shut off the inner critic and play, okay?

9. “What will this do to your reputation?”

Hopefully rocket it.

You don’t get noticed by turning in consistently practical and ho-hum work. You get noticed when you create something extraordinary—and you do it consistently.

Look at guys like Matt Inman of The Oatmeal and Jeph Jacques of Questionable Content. They’ve made a fortune off of creativity that might have ruined their reputation 50 years ago. Now they are heroes.

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10. “It’s never been done before.”

I don’t know about you, but when I hear that phrase I immediately think challenge. I’m a sucker for a challenge. And I like to prove people wrong.

11. “That’s impossible.”

See number 12 above.

12. “I’m not very creative.”

Oh. Oh. Oh!

*holds his ears*

This might be a sentiment you hold on rare occasions when you are suffering from creative block. Or it could be your general outlook. Either way you can conquer that thought.

If you are suffering from a creative block then do things that stir up your creativity. And if that is your general outlook, then start believing in yourself.

13. “We’ve tried that and it didn’t work.”

The conversation could look something like this:

You: “I don’t know, maybe you didn’t have what it takes to make it work.”

Them: “And you do?”

(This is when you put on that smug little grin that drives people nuts.)

No, don’t be smug.

But you never know: you just might have the angle or the outlook that this particular challenge needs to succeed. And it doesn’t really matter if you succeed or not (see no. 17). Even if you fail your creative output will provide a footing for future creatives to build upon.

14. “That will take too much time.”

Like a breakthrough isn’t worth it? Come on.

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And sure, we don’t have all the time in the world to tinker away at our ideas, but true breakthrough ideas are never discovered on a timetable. They usually occur when we’ve lost track of time.

And that’s a beautiful thing.

15. “I can’t afford to fail.”

Then you can’t afford to win. Most endeavors in life—blogging included—involve risk. However, that risk comes in degrees. It can be a win or lose risk: you either win the client or you don’t.

Usually it looks more like this: you only got 4,578 tweets from your viral blog post—not the 13,000 you had hoped.

Of course some failures are more costly than others, but creativity that leads to true breakthroughs involves failure. It’s how you learn.

16. “How will that make money?”

That’s a good question—but if you are asking it during the creative period then you are asking at the wrong time.

Keep in mind: there are times when you need to generate creative ideas that should end in profits. How do you sell your new ebook? What’s the best way to promote this workshop?

There are other times, however, in which you are simply being creative. The goal isn’t profit—it’s breakthrough ideas.

17. “Failure is final.”

This statement comes from a mindset that doesn’t look at creativity as play, but as a win-lose proposition. This mindset is driven by fear. By cowardice. And by desperation.

It’s a dreadful mind-set. And it’s flat out wrong.

Failure is never final, people. And keep this in mind: the end-of-something variety of failures are not just closed doors—they are also open doors. Gateways to new adventures. New opportunities.

Conclusion

Have you ever been guilty of saying any of those phrases? Did you listen to yourself and kill your creativity? How were the results? Do you know any other phrases that should be included in this list?

Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Featured photo credit: Beautiful woman doing a yoga exercise on her rooftop of a skyscraper via Gettyimages

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with It and Enjoy the Ride

13 Tips to Face Your Fears, Grow with It and Enjoy the Ride

Fear. I spend my life talking about fear — fighting fears, fixing fears and understanding fears. And yet I doubt I get 10 calls a year from people saying “Mandie can you help me fix my fear?”

Why is this so critically important to you?

The realization for me is that fear is not the fundamental driving force in your life it’s what regardless of whether I’m talking to a doctor, a teacher, a CEO’s, a senior citizens or teenager – every single one of those conversations has a direct correlation with your world.

Fear can range from the overwhelming desire to look away or stop in your tracks to literally fleeing your country and the life you knew. In this article, I will share you with 13 tips to face your fears and enjoy the ride.

1. Know That Fear Is Real, but Can Be Overcome

Right now around the world people are facing fear — real fear. Fear that I pray my children and I will never experience. Does that lessen my fears or your fears in your relativity safe 21st century life?

When I look at the world we all live in, I find that fear like so many other emotions can mean so many different things to so many different people:

  • The child who has to be physically dragged to their first day of school.
  • The man facing the judge.
  • The woman with her hand poised over the buttons over her phone because she has to walk down a dark corridor late at night alone.
  • The man as the surgeon says “count backwards from 10 Mr Smith.”
  • The woman that’s told “We are sorry, we can’t help you.”
  • The man that faces the empty circle of a gun and prays for his very existence.

These and a million more (Portrayed in every kind of movie, book or song you could imagine) are what make us human. We face fear and somehow move forward or are stopped in our tracks.

Like the rabbit in the headlights of the car that veers off through the field away from the tyres of the car or stays still praying for salvation. Like someone will save them. Sound familiar?

Fear is huge. Fear is everywhere and yet fear can be overcome, controlled and can even be a power for good.

2. Accept Your Fear

Firstly if you aren’t facing the barrel of the gun, atrocities that make the news or impeding death, that’s a good start. However it doesn’t mean your fear is any less real.

We are quick to say “I can’t moan, my life is not as bad as X.” While in theory, that’s honorable your appreciation of Mr. or Mrs. X’s horrific life won’t change anything directly. So accept your fear is relative to you.

And here’s what can be done.

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3. Get Some Perspective

I found myself asking anyone that would answer “what is your worst fear”. The answer that intrigued me the most came from my daughter (15 years old and she usually has a copy of Fight the Fear – my book – in her school bag so she can help someone else be as positive and confident as her. No matter what life throws up.)

And her fear, surprised me — heights. I pointed out that we live in a sprawling bungalow (one storey) and the highest she goes is two storeys’ at school! She laughed but added, fear isn’t like that Mum. I know it’s not a real fear, but it’s like when you stand on a chair and feel unsafe.

That girl will go far. Because she truly gets fear.

We know something is scary and yet we still do it. Why? Because we have a perspective to the fear. When you lose perspective, it can feel too big, and too scary.

So look around you to get some perspective on your fear:

  • Are you really at risk?
  • Will this kill you?
  • Which leads us on to..
  • If the worse was to happen what would it be?

4. Hold a Hand

As a coach, it is my job to holds someone’s metaphorical hand and help them face a fear.

Like the child petrified of the thunder storm or the teen that can’t get back in a car again after failing their test, your job as a parent is to reassure, encourage, enable and motivate someone to face something that ideally they never would choose to again.

We know many of our fears aren’t real. However, it is only when someone guides us with love, respect, lack of judgement and safety are we able to get through fear. And trust me, you can get through your fears. I’ve seen it so many times.

Ask yourself:

  • If the worse were to happen, what would that be?
  • Could that really happen?
  • If the worse did happen, how would you recover?
  • If the worse were to happen, what would you need to do next?

By seeing fear as not the end destination but part of being human, you can see through it’s wily evil ways and move forward.

5. Know Whose Hand You Hold Either Physically or Emotionally

This helps with fears for the rest of your life.

Think of someone you can always rely on (and ideally you won’t just answer yourself because that adds a lot of pressure to your existence!) And you will find that you’ve already found a way to get through fear.

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The beauty of this is that it means that fear becomes part of life not something to be feared and shied away from.

It means you know you can turn to your friend, partner, colleague, parent, sibling and say “Right I need to deal with this, and I’m going to need you to help me.”

For one moment, think about it from the other person’s view point. When we get to help other people we feel valued, loved, respected and lots of other positive emotions and we get a good dose of positive chemicals setting off in our bodies too.

Your fear, and your determination to fight it, helped someone else too. Now that’s cool right?

6. Understand That There Are Some Things Fear Will Never Touch

I like to find role models in life — people who have faced heroism, history changing moments, war, atrocities, miracles, life saving inventions.

Not everyone was looking for greatness, however they all found it. And one of my favourite books to date is written about Alistair Urquhart, the forgotten highlander. If this doesn’t get turned into a film in the future, then no man’s story is likely to.

Alistair went through the most horrific experiences in the 2nd world war. If you think of one of the awful things that happened back then in our world, Alistair went through at least 3 of them! Asked afterwards how did you cope? He talked about how whatever they did to his body, no matter how they starved, tortured, threatened or mocked him, they couldn’t have his mind. In his mind he was free.

Of all the people’s voices I’ve heard in my head over the years, this is one of those statements that reminds me anything is possible if you have faith and hope.

Look for the things in life that fear can’t touch. They will create confidence and faith for the future, whatever you face. And they will give you a sense of why being you is awesome.

Of all the billions of people on this planet, no one will have an answer identical to yours!

7. Process Your Fears to Carry on with Life

Being brave is not about sticking your chest out and smiling regardless of what hell you endure. It is about finding a way to emotionally process your fears to be able to keep going.

I have a tool kit of things I can rely on – tools, strategies, techniques. They include people to hug or talk to, music. hobbies, walks on the beach and even my favourite food. It sounds mad but at the times where I have questioned “how will I get through this?” I’ve found immense joy in doing the most unlikely of thing that makes me smile.

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It may be a short lived moment of happiness. However, it reminded that nothing stays the same and I can find away.

One client told me that it was crazy when it felt like their world was falling around their ears to run a bath to the brim (you don’t waste water) get the best bath oils, light too many candles, lock the door and drink a glass of bubbly (champagne is only for special occasions.)

Did that moment fix the disaster that my clients life felt? No, however it gave them a moment of calm and the brain is far quicker to find solutions, resolve and motivation to keep going when you do that.

It may feel like madness to do something you love, however it can be a powerful way to help you find solutions to the fears you face in life.

8. Assume the Worse

If you read the statement from the client above. Notice how they assumed it was wrong to fill the bath up to the top? How bubbly is only for special occasions?

Think how naughty they felt to be doing something that was not allowed?

  • Think about what age it may have made them feel?
  • Think about how they feel about champagne?
  • What special moments it’s been a part of in their lives?

And you can see how the assumptions they made about their “right” to have these things was not healthy.

When I drag the assumptions out of people’s words for them to see, they are often struck by how negative the words make them feel.

Don’t assume your words aren’t impacting on you. You can go through fear and actually enjoy the ride when you take the time to understand how you are letting words get to you.

9. Take a Fear That Feels Insurmountable Right Now.

If you were to repeat it to me out loud, what would you say?

Would you have blame on yourself in there? Would you assume others can do it and it’s just you? Would you feel small, unsuccessful, useless, unworthy?

Usually, when you do this exercise, you are able to spot the untruths that run wild in your head convincing you that you are doomed. And rarely when we are faced with our assumptions is there is a lot of evidence to them.

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10. You Are Not Defined by Your Fear

One fear does not define your life – be mindful of that. It is likely to lead you to thinking of all the times you’ve succeeded and bring a moment of calm, confidence and faith back to you.

11. Go with Fear

When you learn to go with fear, you could find yourself actually having fun, no seriously – having fun.

I have a few amazing clients I’m working with right now who would describe themselves as life long worriers, or pessimists. In the past that has served them well, enabling them to keep safe, steer clear of risks and even develop strategies in the event of disasters. However, now they find it’s becoming hard to break the cycle and they really want to because it’s holding them back.

Notice how they’ve found their hidden fears and want to face them?

One client said “I knew this was going to be tough, and I knew I couldn’t fight it alone and I knew you would be the one to help me.” Before I sat an incredibly successful, confident, capable business owner with a family and a social life to die for.

However, I’ve learned that the most successful looking lives can hide things that impact on life, success, love, happiness and business.

We didn’t start with the fear that they felt was holding them back, we broke the fear down, and found lots of little obstacles that had been deemed as “life” and “unchangeable” and “that’s just the way it is” by developing awareness to the little steps on the road to their obstacles to happiness and success they were able to tackle them in a different way.

12. Discover Great Skills in Your Scary Moments

And in that clients words “I came here to work with you to grow my company, and my own personal skills. I didn’t expect to get the children to be cleaning up after themselves and my partner being more attentive! It all feels a little magic.”

The moral is that out of the scariest of moments, we can find great skills we didn’t know we had. Find better, healthier, happier ways to live and find ways to enjoy life more. (And have a bit of magic!)

What a great place to be in ready for the next fear that thinks it’s going to get in the way of you, right?

13. Own Your Fear

Think back over these tips and come up with at least one example for each one. Write them down. Put them on your phone. Turn them into a piece of art. Turn them into a poem. Frame them. Go for a fast walk across the fields, beach, down town and repeat these things in your head to the sound of your feet on the ground.

We rarely take the time to appreciate how far we have come, how much we can achieve or what we are capable of – by really owning the tips in this article you will have given your brain a big fat dose of “Damn right I can do this!” and the motivation and accountability to say “Let’s find a way” through any fear.

You can’t help but feel good when you see that can you? And fear doesn’t stand a chance, does it?

More Resources About Fighting Fear

Featured photo credit: Ben White via unsplash.com

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