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14 Tips to Help You Build More Confidence

14 Tips to Help You Build More Confidence

We’re all victims of occasional bouts of self-doubt, even the most successful, charismatic, confident among us have their moments of insecurity. Self-confidence can be a very delicate and complex thing. A few are born with it; others learn it early on and the rest of us have to learn to build it on our own.

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    Our confidence plays an important role in ability to achieve success and happiness. It affects our mental thought patterns, the way we speak, the way we act, and the decisions we make in all areas of our lives – career, money, relationships, and even our health. Confident people take more action, perform better, and are more likely to attain their goals. In addition, confident people also know how to take more enjoyment from their accomplishments are happier in general.

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    Lucky for us, confidence can be built and strengthened until it becomes natural, just as any other habit. It simply takes a little time, some effort, and a bit of attention.

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    Confidence Building Tactics

    1. Fail More Often. The more challenges you take on, the more failures you’ll have, but learning that you can recover, get up and push forward builds confidence.
    2. Track your accomplishments. Keep a list of successes, big and small. It’ll help you to see your abilities in a more positive (and realistic) light.
    3. Don’t compare. Stop measuring yourself against others. What you see isn’t always real. Making comparisons is a damaging and an inaccurate measure of success anyway.
    4. Dress for confidence. How we dress affects both how we feel about ourselves and the way others perceive us. Expensive clothes aren’t necessary. Put emphasis on good fit, good condition, and appropriateness. Don’t be afraid of some color; black is professional, but color gets noticed.
    5. Work on your posture. People with lower confidence often tend to have poor posture. Stand up, sit up, and keep your head up. It’s an instant confidence booster.
    6. Learn. The more knowledge you acquire, the more confident you will be. Knowledge is power, and the more powerful you feel, the higher your confidence will be.
    7. Fitness. Better physical condition and appearance gives you more body confidence, and as a bonus, the extra endorphins give you an added energy boost.
    8. Start a conversation. When you find yourself in a social situation, instead of gravitating to those people you’re comfortable with, start a conversation with someone you don’t know very well. Eventually getting to know new people will become easier.
    9. Have miniature goals. Bite sized goals are easier and quicker to achieve and the momentum can give you a boost when attacking bigger goals.
    10. Raise your hand. Volunteer to take on tasks or projects that are a stretch for you. You’ll learn you can do more than you thought you could and so will others.
    11. Be around confident people. Cultivate relationships with “can-do” people; attitude is contagious. On the other hand, avoid “can’t do” people. It works both ways.
    12. Be your own friend. When you hear that voice in your head, abusing, attacking and belittling you, remind yourself that a friend wouldn’t talk to you in that manner.
    13. Rely on your instincts. When you trust your intuition, and listen to those gut feelings, you’ll become more confident in the knowledge that you do know what’s right for you.
    14. Keep practicing. Practice the skills you need to succeed. The more you practice, the more confident you become. This is true of every type of skill.

    Confidence helps you to be more secure in your abilities and more positive in your attitude. It also encourages you to be more assertive, to take on more challenges, and to improve your skills. As an added benefit, you’ll attract like-minded people. The end result is a better outlook, more success, and a higher quality of life in all areas.

    Featured photo credit: Boy jumping over the mountains via Shutterstock and inline photo by Sarah Reid via Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

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    Royale Scuderi

    A creative strategist, consultant and writer who specializes in cultivating human potential for happiness, health and fulfillment.

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    Last Updated on January 21, 2020

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    The Best Way to Create a Vision for the Life You Want

    Creating a vision for your life might seem like a frivolous, fantastical waste of time, but it’s not: creating a compelling vision of the life you want is actually one of the most effective strategies for achieving the life of your dreams. Perhaps the best way to look at the concept of a life vision is as a compass to help guide you to take the best actions and make the right choices that help propel you toward your best life.

    your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have

      Why You Need a Vision

      Experts and life success stories support the idea that with a vision in mind, you are more likely to succeed far beyond what you could otherwise achieve without a clear vision. Think of crafting your life vision as mapping a path to your personal and professional dreams. Life satisfaction and personal happiness are within reach. The harsh reality is that if you don’t develop your own vision, you’ll allow other people and circumstances to direct the course of your life.

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      How to Create Your Life Vision

      Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time, and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your dreams, hopes, and aspirations. It will resonate with your values and ideals, and will generate energy and enthusiasm to help strengthen your commitment to explore the possibilities of your life.

      What Do You Want?

      The question sounds deceptively simple, but it’s often the most difficult to answer. Allowing yourself to explore your deepest desires can be very frightening. You may also not think you have the time to consider something as fanciful as what you want out of life, but it’s important to remind yourself that a life of fulfillment does not usually happen by chance, but by design.

      It’s helpful to ask some thought-provoking questions to help you discover the possibilities of what you want out of life. Consider every aspect of your life, personal and professional, tangible and intangible. Contemplate all the important areas, family and friends, career and success, health and quality of life, spiritual connection and personal growth, and don’t forget about fun and enjoyment.

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      Some tips to guide you:

      • Remember to ask why you want certain things
      • Think about what you want, not on what you don’t want.
      • Give yourself permission to dream.
      • Be creative. Consider ideas that you never thought possible.
      • Focus on your wishes, not what others expect of you.

      Some questions to start your exploration:

      • What really matters to you in life? Not what should matter, what does matter.
      • What would you like to have more of in your life?
      • Set aside money for a moment; what do you want in your career?
      • What are your secret passions and dreams?
      • What would bring more joy and happiness into your life?
      • What do you want your relationships to be like?
      • What qualities would you like to develop?
      • What are your values? What issues do you care about?
      • What are your talents? What’s special about you?
      • What would you most like to accomplish?
      • What would legacy would you like to leave behind?

      It may be helpful to write your thoughts down in a journal or creative vision board if you’re the creative type. Add your own questions, and ask others what they want out of life. Relax and make this exercise fun. You may want to set your answers aside for a while and come back to them later to see if any have changed or if you have anything to add.

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      What Would Your Best Life Look Like?

      Describe your ideal life in detail. Allow yourself to dream and imagine, and create a vivid picture. If you can’t visualize a picture, focus on how your best life would feel. If you find it difficult to envision your life 20 or 30 years from now, start with five years—even a few years into the future will give you a place to start. What you see may surprise you. Set aside preconceived notions. This is your chance to dream and fantasize.

      A few prompts to get you started:

      • What will you have accomplished already?
      • How will you feel about yourself?
      • What kind of people are in your life? How do you feel about them?
      • What does your ideal day look like?
      • Where are you? Where do you live? Think specifics, what city, state, or country, type of community, house or an apartment, style and atmosphere.
      • What would you be doing?
      • Are you with another person, a group of people, or are you by yourself?
      • How are you dressed?
      • What’s your state of mind? Happy or sad? Contented or frustrated?
      • What does your physical body look like? How do you feel about that?
      • Does your best life make you smile and make your heart sing? If it doesn’t, dig deeper, dream bigger.

      It’s important to focus on the result, or at least a way-point in your life. Don’t think about the process for getting there yet—that’s the next stepGive yourself permission to revisit this vision every day, even if only for a few minutes. Keep your vision alive and in the front of your mind.

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      Plan Backwards

      It may sound counter-intuitive to plan backwards rather than forwards, but when you’re planning your life from the end result, it’s often more useful to consider the last step and work your way back to the first. This is actually a valuable and practical strategy for making your vision a reality.

      • What’s the last thing that would’ve had to happen to achieve your best life?
      • What’s the most important choice you would’ve had to make?
      • What would you have needed to learn along the way?
      • What important actions would you have had to take?
      • What beliefs would you have needed to change?
      • What habits or behaviors would you have had to cultivate?
      • What type of support would you have had to enlist?
      • How long will it have taken you to realize your best life?
      • What steps or milestones would you have needed to reach along the way?

      Now it’s time to think about your first step, and the next step after that. Ponder the gap between where you are now and where you want to be in the future. It may seem impossible, but it’s quite achievable if you take it step-by-step.

      It’s important to revisit this vision from time to time. Don’t be surprised if your answers to the questions, your technicolor vision, and the resulting plans change. That can actually be a very good thing; as you change in unforeseeable ways, the best life you envision will change as well. For now, it’s important to use the process, create your vision, and take the first step towards making that vision a reality.

      Featured photo credit: Matt Noble via unsplash.com

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