Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 27, 2020

Why Confident People Are Also Happier People

Why Confident People Are Also Happier People

When asked about the most important outcomes of having healthy confidence, many would likely state “success,” “respect from others,” and “appreciation.” Happiness, on the other hand, is a feeling we tend to associate with life satisfaction and well-being, feeling healthy, and having good friends, relationships, and fulfilling careers.

We rarely directly link confidence and happiness. In fact, it doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of publicity about their close alliance. There is no self-help advice along the lines of “to be perpetually happy, become more confident.”

So, is it accurate to assume that confident people are also happier?

Let’s examine what some great academic minds have uncovered.

The Link Between Confidence and Happiness

Below is just a small fraction of the support that exists in favor of the positive link between the two:

Advertising

A study from 2014 on 200 students has found a positive relationship between self-esteem and happiness—that is, the increase in the former leads to an enhancement in the latter.[1] Another recent small-scale research from Ireland also unveils that favorable self-assessments are positively liked to happiness and life satisfaction.[2]

Perhaps one of the most widely-cited papers on the link between the two states is that of Prof. Roy Baumeister, titled “Does Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?” In it, he quotes a large-scale study done with 31,000 college students from 49 universities, 31 countries, and five continents. High self-esteem was the most important factor which predicted overall life satisfaction, and the link between confidence and happiness is 47%, which, in statistical evidence, a very close relationship.[3]

Other studies, which Prof. Baumeister references in his paper, support the above conclusions—that is, self-esteem predicts happiness.

Self-Esteem Predicts Happiness

A decade ago, Mary Guindon—a former chair of and associate professor in the Department of Counseling and Human Services at John Hopkins University, and a consultant, educator and a teacher on the issues of mental health, career development, and self-esteem, among others, conducted a survey of school counselors in New Jersey.

Participants were asked to list five words that best described students with high and low self-esteem. High self-worth students, turns out, were perceived as confident, friendly outgoing, happy, positive/ optimistic, and motivated.

Advertising

In comparison, the low-assured students came across as withdrawn/shy/ quiet, insecure, underachieving, negative, unhappy, socially inept, unmotivated, depressed, dependent/ followers, with poor self-image.[4]

In another widely popular piece of research, empirical studies show that confident people and low self-value ones also differed tremendously in, well, almost everything

Low esteem people are believed to be more sensitive toward criticism, more emotionally unstable, react more negatively to failure, and inhibit high doses of social anxiety and self-consciousness—that is, low confidence was linked to greater unhappiness.[5]

High self-esteem (as opposed to low) helps us to weather some of the “emotional distress” which comes from experiencing negative events, distress, and rejection.

How so? Because confident people have a different mindset when it comes to failure, Prof. Jonathon Brown—a renowned social psychologist and a self-esteem researcher from the University of Washington, Seattle, U.S.— has discovered.[6] Confidence serves as a buffer, he believes.

Advertising

Simply put, his research confirms, self-assured individuals view failures as temporary setbacks and as opportunities. What’s more—they also don’t judge themselves as disappointments—i.e. their levels of self-worth remain unchanged after a letdown.

Confident People Look for Relationships

Low esteem is often paired with social aversion, shyness, desire to “be left alone,” and unwillingness to meet new people.

Confident people, in contrast, are more likely to socialize and to look to expand their network of friends and acquaintances. As they believe in themselves and the value they have to offer to the world, they also recognize the importance of networking and creating bonds as a way to become appreciated, supported, and recognized.

And even of greater significance is that, according to research, our close relationships are the main predictor of happiness in life.[7] Therefore, once again, studies tend to agree that self-assured individuals are happier, as they seek to create lasting and caring relationships.

Confident People Don’t Look for External Validations

Confident people generally don’t look for external self-validation compared to low esteem ones. They don’t have to because they know exactly how much they are worth.

Advertising

As we all recognize, comparisons to others are frequently a major cause of unhappiness, anxiety, and life dissatisfaction. An “I-want-more-than-others” outlook is a very dangerous mental framework, which throws us in a perpetual measure-up against others. Nothing is good enough, and we often feel as not good enough.

However, the Social Comparison Theory tells us that confident people may engage in comparisons to others who are better, too.[8] But it’s driven by a motivation to improve, rather than a desire to prove to ourselves and others that we are worth it.

Conclusion

In the end, it’s worth noting that it will be probably erroneous to assume that confident people are always happy. They don’t wear rose-colored glasses all the time. We all experience setbacks, failures, unfavorable events, which make us feel anxious, worried, distressed, and unhappy. It’s part of life.

As we already mentioned, confident individuals tend to be more emotionally stable, have a more constructive outlook, and feel greater self-acceptance and respect.

Because of the above, they are also able to focus on the positives in life, to enjoy greater relationships, to compare themselves less to the Joneses, and rather—to seek enrichment through experiences, and self-improvement. They are simply better equipped to deal with life, manage stress, and reach their goals.

And all these benefits that confidence brings translate into improved long-term well-being and life satisfaction—that is, a state we often call “living the good life”—which, in turn, is what gives us a sense of joy, peace with ourselves, excitement, and gratitude. In other words: Happiness.

Tips on How to Boost Your Confidence

Reference

More by this author

Evelyn Marinoff

A wellness advocate who writes about the psychology behind confidence, happiness and well-being.

happiness and self confidence Why Confident People Are Also Happier People What Is an Existential Crisis? (And How to Cope With It) Why Intrinsic Motivation Is So Powerful (And How to Find It) What Is the Meaning of Life? A Guide to Living With Meaning Midlife Crisis for Women: How It Makes You a Better Person

Trending in Success Mindset

1 Why Confident People Are Also Happier People 2 What Is Grit and How to Develop It for a Successful Life 3 15 Characteristics of High Achievers You Need to Know 4 How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change for a Better Self 5 How to Stop Being a Perfectionist (Step-by-Step Guide)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 27, 2020

What Is Grit and How to Develop It for a Successful Life

What Is Grit and How to Develop It for a Successful Life

Have you ever met someone who thrives through adversity, and who transforms their pain into opportunities for growth? In her book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Duckworth describes these types of people as possessing grit. From her research, she has found that grit is what separates those who are successful from those who fail.

So, what is grit, you may ask?

Passion + Perseverence = Achievement

In the words of Angela Duckworth herself,

“Grit is sticking with your future, day in and day out, and not just for the week, not just for the month, but years.”

The problem that a lot of people face is that they seek the shortcut to success. They want to work less while still achieving more. Unfortunately, that’s not how success works.

If you want to achieve your goals, you have to be willing to do anything and everything. I believe that the most meaningful goals require an insane amount of hard work, determination, discipline, commitment, and sacrifice. But get real with yourself — are you ready to go all-in? How bad do you want to succeed?

Why Is Grit Important?

Nothing of value in life comes easily. Success is never a coincidence.

Research indicates that the ability to be gritty — to stick with things that are important to you and bounce back from failure — is an essential component of success.[1]

You can have all the talent in the world, but you will never achieve your goals without effort. This is why grit is the foundation of success.

Advertising

What Are the Characteristics of Grit?

The good news is that grit can be developed and mastered over time. However, you first need to adopt a growth mindset. Unfortunately, many people have a fixed mindset.

They are conditioned to believe that their intelligence cannot improve. While a fixed mindset is based in “I can” or “I can’t,” a growth mindset celebrates the journey from “I can’t” to “I can.”[2]

Do you see your intelligence as fixed, or do you believe that you can grow and change?

Below are the characteristics of grit. Reflect upon the ones that you resonate with the most and still need to strengthen.

Passion

Where there is passion, there is always a purpose. Passionate people know themselves inside and out. They have a clear understanding of their values, beliefs, and needs.

More importantly, they live in alignment with their truth and inspire others to do the same. Living with passion is about paying attention to and following what makes you come alive inside.

Not everyone will understand your path in life, and that’s okay. True grit is being able to tune out others’ judgments and stay in your lane.

Perseverance

I’ve never met a strong person who had an easy-breezy past. Persevering, despite all odds, is about learning how to sit with your darkness and soften into the discomfort.

The only difference between those who succeed versus those who fail is their willingness to persevere and continue failing forward. It’s knowing that your desire to achieve your dreams burns brighter than any obstacle.

Advertising

Learn how to embrace discomfort and use pain as a tool to grow and become more. Celebrate yourself every step of the way and don’t stop until you’re insanely proud of the person you’ve become.

Resilience

Gritty people are resilient, in the sense that they thrive through adversity. They reframe every challenge as an opportunity and do the work to become the master of their emotions.

Research reveals that resilience is a test of how tough you are. Instead, it has everything to do with your willingness to keep trying after others have given up.[3]

Resilient people are conscious enough to know when it is time to surrender to the rollercoaster ride of life. Their ability to soften into what is can make room for what will be.

What Is an Example of Grit?

It was like any other day in my life. I got on my motorcycle and rode off. Because I was just going up the road, I decided not to wear my helmet. Little did I know that this sudden decision would change my entire life.

I was supposed to be back home in 15 minutes, but that didn’t happen. Five minutes into riding my bike, I had an accident. I hit my head on the pavement, suffered a traumatic brain injury, and was rushed to the hospital to undergo surgery.

I remember the moment like it was yesterday. This experience left me with PTSD, post-concussion syndrome, chronic pain, and anxiety.

However, it also gave me a second chance to recreate my life and develop unshakeable mental strength and grit.

It’s been three years since my accident. I’m not the same person that I used to be. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. I chose to transform my pain into power. To this day, I continue to pull upon my grit. It has become my superpower.

Advertising

Let me be clear: I’m not special. I was just willing to do what was challenging for many. Giving up was never an option. How I have responded to my knockdowns has determined my success in life.

The obstacles that I faced along my healing journey (and still do to this day) had given me a strength that I never knew I had. Pain can be a gift if you are willing to find its meaning behind all the mess.

When you have the courage to use your pain as motivational strength, you will realize that there is nothing you cannot overcome.

How Do You Develop Grit?

Grit is like a muscle that you train and flex at the gym. You need to do the same thing with your mind. Let’s explore what you can do to build mental toughness every day.

1. Practice, Practice, Practice

The fastest way to master anything is to practice and repeat it. To persevere, you have to be willing to step outside of your comfort zone and try new things. This is how you flex your grit muscle.

At the end of the day, grit comes down to what habits you engage in daily. It’s about doing the things you know you’re supposed to do on a more consistent basis that will contribute to your success.[4]

The more that you invest in your personal growth, the more skilled you will become. In turn, you can keep doing the things that you excel at.

2. Connect With Your Purpose

Gritty people live on purpose.

After studying 16,000 people, Duckworth found that “grittier people are dramatically more motivated than others to seek a meaningful, other-centered life.”[5]

Advertising

The next time that you encounter an obstacle that tries to take you off course, reconnect with your why. It will be the one thing that motivates you to keep moving forward, even when you feel like throwing in the towel.

3. Don’t Give Up

When things get difficult, do you give up easily or use your low moments to push yourself forward and become stronger?

Gritty people look a challenge dead in the eye and give it a wink. They don’t quit until they win.

The only failure in life is quitting. Life is supposed to be messy. You’re supposed to fail. It’s a core part of the human experience. All that matters is how you respond to failure.

It’s okay if you fall seven times, as long as you make sure that you stand up on the eighth time. If you can master the art of never giving up, there is no limit to what you can achieve in life.

The Bottom Line

You have one life, so make it a masterpiece.

The only limitations standing in your way are the ones in your mind. When you master your mind, you master your life.

Don’t ever give up on your dreams. Strive to be a gritty person in every area of your life.

Your future self will thank you for it.

More on Showing Your Grit

Featured photo credit: Jack Sloop via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next