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4 Fun Ways to Skyrocket Your Motivation and Confidence

4 Fun Ways to Skyrocket Your Motivation and Confidence

You have probably read or heard all kinds of motivational tactics. How to think more positively, how to work towards your goal, and how anything is possible as long as you believe in it. There are tons of self-help books, and various motivational speakers, but they mostly want to influence your mindset. They go with the premise that if you change how you think, everything else will fall into place.

Truth be told, these are not ineffective tips, and the change must come from within, but this is not always the case. We are all different, and due to our idiosyncrasy, there are no universal suggestions. If it worked for someone else, it does not imply you will be affected in the same manner.

On the other hand, there are different things you can try, things that don’t require you to change the way you think but simply cause a positive reaction inside your body. So, even though we don’t all think the same way, our bodies do react in a very similar fashion.

With that in mind, we will go over some fun ways to improve your motivation and confidence. These will not include tips on how to change your perspective, or to meditate in order to filter out stressful thoughts – these will all be actionable tips that can work for anyone.

1. You want confidence? You have to fight for it!

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    Confidence is all about control and feeling prepared. A great way to become more confident is to hone your motor skills and work on your kinetic energy. Sometimes, it is the small things that begin to bother us – we do not like how we look or that we are clumsy, and with martial arts training you can effectively fight this type of negativity.

    To be more precise, you have the opportunity to develop practical skills, and therefore you’ll be inspired to try out different feats on your own. It is also a form of fitness exercise, so if your confidence is affected by your appearance, martial arts training is definitely going to come in handy.

    Furthermore, as you are devoted to training you also build up your willpower, thereby having an effective mechanism to cope with stressful situations. As you progress, you become more composed and far less impulsive, and it is something you are definitely going to notice.

    Since rigorous training means a lot of physical exercise, you will reap all the benefits from these activates and you will feel better in general. After all, exercise is a miracle drug, and knowing you did something healthy and constantly improving yourself has an incredibly positive impact on your confidence.

    2. Sexercise

    Since we are on the topic of physical exercise and activity, then it would be good to mention sex as one of the healthy and fun ways to boost motivation. Intercourse is extremely therapeutic, and having it on daily basis will make your self-esteem skyrocket.

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    If you are exposed to a lot of stress on a daily basis, then sexual activity will definitely counterbalance these irritating thoughts. In other words, one of the best medicines for stress is sexual healing. It will make you happier, it will improve your self-image, and as mentioned it is a great workout.

    Another benefit worth mentioning is improved wits. After all, our neurotransmitters carry information from one brain cell to another, and oxytocin and prolactin are both neurotransmitters. With daily sexual activity, our brain’s hippocampus initiates the process called neurogenesis, which is responsible for producing these neurotransmitters.

    3. Shopping spree

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      Now let’s talk about some other ways of improving your confidence, without including physical exercise. It is a recipe that was here for generations, and it really works. Shopping is an amazing way to increase your motivation and to really feel good about yourself for days. The downside is that it can be hard on your wallet and that it can become a compulsion if you overuse, but it sure feels good.

      In terms of combating stress, shopping spree has quite a simple effect, it helps you get your mind off the stressful topic. Also, it is one of the ways of altering your appearance and, as mentioned, if that is your source of dissatisfaction, shopping can boost your self-esteem, and it’s effective immediately.

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      Since the activity itself is fun in general, you can invite your friends and spend some time with them as well.  Also, let’s not forget that you feel refreshed and the whole thing really feels like a fresh start or a do-over.

      Again, use this technique with caution, since it can turn into a problem if you rely on it too much. You’ll lose money and your wardrobe will start to get cramped and messy.

      4. Create your own universe

      We all love good stories – it is something that helps us experience a different world, and yet still relate to it. They can be cautionary tales that make us wiser, uplifting stories that make us feel motivated and empowered, or something tragic and dramatic that serves as a catharsis for something we are going through. However, it can be far more uplifting if you tell your own tale if you create your own world and your own characters.

      You get to think about the struggles and hardships your characters can experience, and you also get to think about solutions, so it is an amazing mental exercise. It allows you to be in control of what is going on but at the same time, exercise restraint for the sake of natural pacing, as well as natural cause and effect.

      You can go through some tips on how to write fiction, and how to express yourself, and you can also learn a thing or two about good story structure etc. However, the story you tell will be entirely your own, and no one will pressure you to write, so you get to create something you are truly going to like.

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      These types of projects can really put your brain to work, and it is an awesome way to impress yourself with what you are capable of. You need to explore your mental capacities and your creativity in order to gain self-confidence, and creative writing is definitely a good way to do it.

      So, these are fun ways for empowering yourself, and for lifting your spirits. There is something for everybody here – for those who are in a relationship, for those who love to be creative, for those who love to customize how they look, and for those who want to achieve mastery in their passion. If you feel demoralized or overwhelmed, try some of these techniques, they will definitely come in handy.

      Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/en/users/Unsplash-242387/ via pixabay.com

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      Aleksandar Ilic

      Blogger, Social Media Butterfly, Guitarist

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      Published on April 7, 2021

      6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

      6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

      Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

      While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

      1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

      Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

      If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

      In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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      2. They Make Everything Transactional

      Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

      For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

      Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

      A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

      Some statements to be wary of include:

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      • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
      • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
      • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
      • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

      3. They Criticize Everything

      One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

      However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

      Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

      • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
      • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
      • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
      • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

      4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

      We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

      For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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      This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

      5. They Socially Isolate You

      Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

      Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

      This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

      In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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      6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

      It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

      Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

      Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

      • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
      • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
      • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
      • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

      Final Thoughts

      It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

      More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

      Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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