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4 Fun Ways to Skyrocket Your Motivation and Confidence

4 Fun Ways to Skyrocket Your Motivation and Confidence

You have probably read or heard all kinds of motivational tactics. How to think more positively, how to work towards your goal, and how anything is possible as long as you believe in it. There are tons of self-help books, and various motivational speakers, but they mostly want to influence your mindset. They go with the premise that if you change how you think, everything else will fall into place.

Truth be told, these are not ineffective tips, and the change must come from within, but this is not always the case. We are all different, and due to our idiosyncrasy, there are no universal suggestions. If it worked for someone else, it does not imply you will be affected in the same manner.

On the other hand, there are different things you can try, things that don’t require you to change the way you think but simply cause a positive reaction inside your body. So, even though we don’t all think the same way, our bodies do react in a very similar fashion.

With that in mind, we will go over some fun ways to improve your motivation and confidence. These will not include tips on how to change your perspective, or to meditate in order to filter out stressful thoughts – these will all be actionable tips that can work for anyone.

1. You want confidence? You have to fight for it!

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    Confidence is all about control and feeling prepared. A great way to become more confident is to hone your motor skills and work on your kinetic energy. Sometimes, it is the small things that begin to bother us – we do not like how we look or that we are clumsy, and with martial arts training you can effectively fight this type of negativity.

    To be more precise, you have the opportunity to develop practical skills, and therefore you’ll be inspired to try out different feats on your own. It is also a form of fitness exercise, so if your confidence is affected by your appearance, martial arts training is definitely going to come in handy.

    Furthermore, as you are devoted to training you also build up your willpower, thereby having an effective mechanism to cope with stressful situations. As you progress, you become more composed and far less impulsive, and it is something you are definitely going to notice.

    Since rigorous training means a lot of physical exercise, you will reap all the benefits from these activates and you will feel better in general. After all, exercise is a miracle drug, and knowing you did something healthy and constantly improving yourself has an incredibly positive impact on your confidence.

    2. Sexercise

    Since we are on the topic of physical exercise and activity, then it would be good to mention sex as one of the healthy and fun ways to boost motivation. Intercourse is extremely therapeutic, and having it on daily basis will make your self-esteem skyrocket.

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    If you are exposed to a lot of stress on a daily basis, then sexual activity will definitely counterbalance these irritating thoughts. In other words, one of the best medicines for stress is sexual healing. It will make you happier, it will improve your self-image, and as mentioned it is a great workout.

    Another benefit worth mentioning is improved wits. After all, our neurotransmitters carry information from one brain cell to another, and oxytocin and prolactin are both neurotransmitters. With daily sexual activity, our brain’s hippocampus initiates the process called neurogenesis, which is responsible for producing these neurotransmitters.

    3. Shopping spree

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      Now let’s talk about some other ways of improving your confidence, without including physical exercise. It is a recipe that was here for generations, and it really works. Shopping is an amazing way to increase your motivation and to really feel good about yourself for days. The downside is that it can be hard on your wallet and that it can become a compulsion if you overuse, but it sure feels good.

      In terms of combating stress, shopping spree has quite a simple effect, it helps you get your mind off the stressful topic. Also, it is one of the ways of altering your appearance and, as mentioned, if that is your source of dissatisfaction, shopping can boost your self-esteem, and it’s effective immediately.

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      Since the activity itself is fun in general, you can invite your friends and spend some time with them as well.  Also, let’s not forget that you feel refreshed and the whole thing really feels like a fresh start or a do-over.

      Again, use this technique with caution, since it can turn into a problem if you rely on it too much. You’ll lose money and your wardrobe will start to get cramped and messy.

      4. Create your own universe

      We all love good stories – it is something that helps us experience a different world, and yet still relate to it. They can be cautionary tales that make us wiser, uplifting stories that make us feel motivated and empowered, or something tragic and dramatic that serves as a catharsis for something we are going through. However, it can be far more uplifting if you tell your own tale if you create your own world and your own characters.

      You get to think about the struggles and hardships your characters can experience, and you also get to think about solutions, so it is an amazing mental exercise. It allows you to be in control of what is going on but at the same time, exercise restraint for the sake of natural pacing, as well as natural cause and effect.

      You can go through some tips on how to write fiction, and how to express yourself, and you can also learn a thing or two about good story structure etc. However, the story you tell will be entirely your own, and no one will pressure you to write, so you get to create something you are truly going to like.

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      These types of projects can really put your brain to work, and it is an awesome way to impress yourself with what you are capable of. You need to explore your mental capacities and your creativity in order to gain self-confidence, and creative writing is definitely a good way to do it.

      So, these are fun ways for empowering yourself, and for lifting your spirits. There is something for everybody here – for those who are in a relationship, for those who love to be creative, for those who love to customize how they look, and for those who want to achieve mastery in their passion. If you feel demoralized or overwhelmed, try some of these techniques, they will definitely come in handy.

      Featured photo credit: https://pixabay.com/en/users/Unsplash-242387/ via pixabay.com

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      Aleksandar Ilic

      Blogger, Social Media Butterfly, Guitarist

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      Last Updated on January 14, 2021

      How to Apologize When You Have Made a Mistake

      How to Apologize When You Have Made a Mistake

      Despite our best intentions and efforts, making mistakes is a fact of life. Humans are prone to error, so we are inevitably going to mess up at one point or another.

      Many of the slip ups we make won’t have any impact on those around us, but what about the times when they do hurt someone else, either inadvertently or purposefully? Do we ignore the mistake and hope it will go away on its own? Do we confront the mistake, however painful that may be, and apologize? How we react to our mistakes defines both who we are and how we are perceived by others.

      I’m a voice and presence coach specializing in training people to find their voice and speak their truth. One of the most difficult tasks I teach my students is how to apologize authentically. It takes a lot of vulnerability to admit wrongdoing, and even more so to seek forgiveness and make amends. (After all, we live in a world where some of our top leaders openly avoid taking accountability for their mistakes.) However, like anything else in life, if you ignore something painful instead of facing it, that pain tends to grow and appear in other parts of your life. It’s better to face these things head on.

      So how do you apologize effectively? Technically, there is no one “right” way, but there are plenty of ineffective ways to go about apologizing. I’m going to approach this from the perspective that we are genuinely remorseful and wish to make amends for the hurt we have caused.

      Simply saying, “I’m sorry” is easy. But it’s important that your words match your intention. It’s complex to apologize authentically when you have made a mistake – to utter remorse that is grounded in your truth, and it’s what we’re going to cover here.

      In order to make a genuine apology, I refer to a practice introduced to me by a mentor several years ago: the Hawaiian Ho’oponopono prayer. I’m not an expert on Hawaiian prayer, but having meditated with this one for a number of years, I can say that this practice of reconciliation and forgiveness is incredibly powerful.

      Ho’oponopono means “to make right” or “rectify an error.” What sets this practice apart is that the focus is not on controlling a particular outcome (i.e. healing the hurt relationship you have with this person), but instead on healing yourself in order to heal the situation.

      The Ho’oponopono prayer is profoundly simple, and translates as follows:

      I’m sorry.

      Please forgive me.

      Thank you.

      I love you.

      Everything we need to apologize is right here. Let’s break down the structure of this apology into these 4 concrete steps for before, during, and after the apology.

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      Before the Apology

      Step 1: I’m Sorry – What are you sorry for?

      Before you start speaking and leading from pure emotion, it’s important to actually figure out what you are sorry for:

      Start by Writing Down the Facts

      When you’re writing this out, avoid assigning any judgments to the scenario or making any assumptions about the person affected by your mistake. Instead stick to straight facts. Dump the whole situation onto the page, including all the details.

      Ex. My friend was having a hard time with her boyfriend. She kept complaining to me about it, and I was tired of listening to the situation. I also felt I knew exactly what was going on, and what was not working, so I finally got blunt and told her my opinion. She was very offended. I realized afterward that she just needed an ear to listen, and she wasn’t looking for my advice.

      Write Down Your Part in Making This Mistake

      Stick to your contribution only. Avoid speaking for anyone else, simply focus on what you did that you know helped create the situation.

      Ex. I gave feedback that my friend wasn’t interested in hearing. My mistake was assuming that she’d be better off if she heard what I had to say.

      After Writing It All Down, Ask Yourself How You’re Feeling by Grounding Yourself in Your Truth

      I teach a process to my clients called the Voice Body Connection process, which starts with grounding yourself in your physical sensations. This process will help you find your voice and speak your truth objectively, even if you are flooded with strong emotions in the moment.

      Identify the Physical Sensations You Feel

      Now that you have relived the experience of making the mistake by writing it out, tune into your body, and ask yourself the question:

      “What is the strongest SENSATION I feel in my body right now?”

      Be sure to keep this body-based. When you are preparing to apologize, taking note of your sensations helps you ground yourself in how you are feeling so that you can show up.

      Ex. I feel an aching sensation in my heart.

      Identify Why You Think You Are Feeling This Sensation

      After you’ve identified your primary sensations, ask yourself the following question:

      “What do I think is the STIMULUS that led me to feel this sensation?”

      This is likely a very simple statement that you already wrote about. It’s the heart of the matter.

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      Ex. I gave my friend advice she wasn’t asking for.

      Identify Your Emotions About This Situation

      Now that you know why you are feeling these physical sensations, move to identify your emotions. Ask yourself:

      “What are my EMOTIONS about noticing all of this?”

      Some primary emotions are fear, anger, sadness, disgust, joy, and arousal.

      Ex. I’m feeling sad that I crossed my friend’s boundaries.

      Identify Your Ideal Outcome For This Situation

      Your emotions are tied to your desire for a future outcome. Ask yourself,

      “Do I have any desires related to everything I just noticed?”

      Examples of core desires are safety, comfort, bonding/love, and curiosity/growth.

      Ex. I want to repair the relationship so that we can be close again.

      Make Sure You Actually Want Forgiveness And Reconnection

      Please keep in mind that if in this process, you discover that you don’t feel safe with this other person. There’s no reason to apologize and re-connect.

      But if you feel safe and comfortable with them and desire to be connected again, then you can proceed to the next step of the Ho’oponopono prayer.

      During the Apology

      Step 2: Please Forgive Me

      You’re not going to share everything from your process above with your friend. What you are going to share is your acknowledgment of the hurt you caused, your part in creating that situation, and your desire to reconnect[1].

      It’s also very important to be clear about only speaking your truth and not commenting on their side. That’s their job.

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      You can use this script by filling in the observations you noted above:

      I think <a simple statement about what happened> happened between us…

      And I believe my mistake was <insert your part here>…

      I am left feeling <insert your emotions>…

      and moving forward, I would want to <insert your desires>.

      Ex. I think I gave you feedback that you weren’t interested in hearing…

      And I believe my mistake was assuming that you’d be better off if you heard what I felt I needed to say.

      I am left feeling sad that I crossed your boundaries.

      And moving forward what I really want is to be close to you again, and to assure you that I will ask permission in the future before I give you advice.

      Once you’ve shared this introductory olive branch, stop talking about yourself. This is it for now…. it’s all you needed to say to get the conversation started.

      Your next job is to listen and be curious. Ask open-ended questions about their experience like “How did that feel for you?”. De-center yourself and let your friend share as much as they need to. When you do speak, let them know that you hear what they are saying, and acknowledge your impact.

      I’ll grant you that this is hard to do – it’s easy to get defensive. But your checklist is:

      • Tell them you heard them
      • Let them know you understand you had an impact on them
      • Ask them more about their experience

      Step 3: Thank You

      Now that you have asked the other person about their experience, it is quite possible that they will say things you don’t want to hear. You may find yourself feeling defensive or even angry. A stressful situation like this can trigger “fight or flight” mode in your body: you may notice that you start sweating, that your pupils are narrowing, that your eyes tear up, that you start experiencing tunnel vision. This is all normal.

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      To help stave this off and stay present, keep being genuinely curious about what their experience has been. Don’t listen to be “right,” listen to be connected. Listen to understand.

      Even if they say something you don’t like hearing, thank them anyway for sharing the truth of their experience and for being in your life. This isn’t an easy thing to do, but it is a necessary step towards your own healing in the Ho’oponopono prayer.

      Moving Forward Post-Apology

      Step 4: I Love You

      Let’s say you’re actually at a place where the relationship you have with the other person can be repaired. “I love you” encourages curiosity: how can you repair and reconnect? How can things look different moving forward?

      Think of something you can do to express and experience your love, appreciation, or respect for each other. Make a plan for how to move forward.

      A great practice is to make a list of things you are grateful for about the other person. Be sure to share this list, either as a letter or just out loud. It’s important to share how much we appreciate each other, and it feels as good to give gratitude as it does to receive it.

      This last portion of the prayer is not just for the other person… it’s for you as well. Filling yourself with a sense of love ensures that you’ll be able to move on from the mistake and heal. It’s easy for many of us to beat ourselves up and continue to hold onto guilt, or even shame, about a mistake we have made — even though we are genuinely remorseful and have tried to make amends.

      You can continue to repeat the entire Ho’oponopono prayer to yourself after the encounter where you have apologized:

      I’m sorry.
      Please forgive me.

      Thank you.

      I love you.

      In doing so, you may find you’re apologizing to yourself too.

      The Bottom Line

      To speak our truth in an apology, we must show up fully without expecting anything of the other person. Though we cannot affect or control the outcome of the apology, no matter how repentant we are, following the Ho’oponopono can guide us to true repair and healing.

      If you have been stuck on finding the “right” way to reconnect and apologize to someone in your life, I hope this process inspired by the Ho’oponopono prayer will help you to make that first step.

      More on How to Apologize

      Featured photo credit: Gus Moretta via unsplash.com

      Reference

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