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Modern Etiquette: Table Manners 101

Modern Etiquette: Table Manners 101

Did your girlfriend’s mother give you the evil eye at Christmas dinner this year? Or did your boss stare at you in horror as you shovelled food into your face at the office holiday party? Have you ever found yourself at a restaurant where there was more than one fork or knife beside your plate and had a panic attack?

If you can relate to any of these scenarios, chances are you’re not all that well-equipped as far as proper dining etiquette is concerned. Considering that most people eat their meals either on the go, at their desks, or sitting in front of the television, it’s not surprising that the average person might not have the most polished table manners nowadays. Just follow the simple rules below and not only will you save yourself a heap of embarrassment in the future—you’ll also feel much more confident when dining with others in public.

The Basics

Chew with your mouth closed.

If most of your meals consist of shoveling chicken nuggets into your mouth while playing video games, it’s quite likely that you’re not paying attention to whether or not your lips are closed as you chew. Those you might be dining with don’t need to see the mashed-up bits of whatever you’re masticating as they slosh around your mouth, nor do they want to hear the smacking and snapping that goes along with your oral food-processing technique.

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Keep your lips closed at all times when you’re chewing, and if you find that you have difficulty doing so because the bites you take are too big and are just begging to peep out from your face, take smaller bites. Teensy ones, if needed.

Don’t speak when your mouth is full of food.

Just as nobody wants to see what it is you’re chewing on, they certainly don’t want to see bits of it fly from your mouth while you speak. They especially do not want to be struck by stray food particles escaping from your cavernous maw, so wait until you’ve finished swallowing before you answer a question or share some random bit of brilliance.

Don’t slurp. Ever.

If the soup you’re eating is too hot, let it cool down a bit, and then take small sips from a shallow spoon.

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Use cutlery from the outside in, and rip pieces off your bread roll‒don’t bite into it.

This is just some basic and easy to remember advice.

More Advanced Etiquette

Hold your fork in your left hand and your knife in your right.

Most people hold their fork with their right hand, using it to shovel food into their faces until a larger piece needs to be cut. Then, they’ll switch the fork to their left hand and use it to spear the large piece while cutting it with a knife held in the right. Afterward, they’ll put the knife down and pick up the fork right-handed again. This is known as the American style of eating.

A more genteel method (known as Continental style) is to always keep the fork in the left hand. The fork can be used to propel foodstuffs upwards to your mouth, and the knife is always at the ready. This way, whether you’re slicing something, folding salad, or scooping something onto your fork, you don’t have to worry about dropping utensils during the drop-shift-switch cutlery dance.

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Spoon your soup away from you, not toward.

This might seem like an effete bit of poncery, but it actually serves a purpose; if you accidentally tip your soup bowl, it’ll spill onto the table in front of you, rather than into your lap.

Place cutlery to show that you’ve finished eating.

Waiters rely on non-verbal cues when it comes to clearing your place setting, so if you’d like to let them know that you’ve finished, place your knife and fork together across the plate. You can either place them perpendicular to you, or so they point to 10 and 6 (clock-face) on your plate. Fork tines should face upward, and you can then place your dinner napkin beside the plate as well.

The proper method of calling a server over to you.

If you need to get your server’s attention, raise your hand and make eye contact. Once eye contact is made, nod; they’ll make their way over to you as soon as they can, as you’re likely not the only person in the restaurant.
Never wave at them, yell at them, whistle, gesture wildly, or grab at them as they pass.

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Most of these tips are just common sense, but in an era when we might not spend much time in formal dining situations, these habits can be easily forgotten. In addition to these, remember to always be polite, remember to say “please” and “thank you” (even when ordering at Starbucks), and you’ll do just fine at any social gathering you may be invited to.

 

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.

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3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.

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6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as Lifehack.org, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.

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9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.

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Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

More Resources About Getting out of a Rut

Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via unsplash.com

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