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How to Quit Smoking Efficiently

How to Quit Smoking Efficiently

We’re up and running full-swing into 2014, and it’s time to take a look at all those New Year’s resolutions you made. One of the most popular resolutions made every year is to quit smoking cigarettes. Any smoker will tell you quitting smoking is easy – they’ve done it dozens of times and could do it again anytime they want. If you want to quit for good but aren’t sure how, here are a few tips, facts, and brain hacks to make it possible:

1. Accept Both the Mental and Physical Addiction.

Nicotine is a chemically-addictive drug, affecting the mood receptors in your brain. Smoking is a lifestyle that involves frequent smoke breaks, impulse purchases, and peer pressure. In order to quit smoking, you’ll need strategies to address both; admitting you have an addiction is vital – an important mental step – and soothing the physical cravings is important as well.

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2. Do Something With Your Hands.

Smoking puts you in a comfort zone. You get used to reaching for a cigarette when you’re bored, after a meal, after a difficult project; soon you’re rewarding yourself with a smoke like they’re candy. Instead of rewarding yourself with a cigarette, reward yourself with something else…like candy. Eating a small Snickers bar isn’t the healthiest thing you can do, but it’s better for you (and, ultimately, cheaper) than a cigarette. If the act of eating isn’t enough, try a lollipop.

3. Take Your Mind Off Smoking.

When you get a craving to smoke, sitting around doing nothing is probably the worst thing you can do. You’re going to get antsy, and the craving to smoke will become a Tell-tale Heart, eventually driving you mad. Go out for a quick walk, play a video game on your phone, or do any small activity that will kill 10–15 minutes and give you a break in the cycle of need.

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4. Talk It Out.

Telling people you’re quitting smoking is important. Many people skip this step because they don’t want anyone to know if they cheat, but the reality is you’re only cheating yourself this way. By being open and honest with friends and family, you’re building a support structure to help you not to fail. Just don’t expect them to do everything for you – you’re going to have to do the legwork yourself, and it’s not fair to put the pressure on loved ones for your life choices.

5. Seek Professional Help.

Whether you succeed or fail, family and friends support you more than they support your vices. Sometimes the love of friends and family isn’t enough; luckily, a cornucopia of options exists for smoking cessation. Your work may have an employee support line that can help, and your health insurer (and likely your State, as well) will have some sort of support number you can call. There are also plenty of websites with smoking cessation directories. Here are some smoking cessation resources from Cancer.org to get you started.

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6. Acknowledge and Reward Your Achievements.

Yes, people will eventually tire of your updates of, “I haven’t smoked in two weeks,” or, “I only had one cigarette this week,” but people also tire of baby pics. If you don’t kill your baby and start with a new one every time someone’s uninterested in their pictures, you shouldn’t stop celebrating the other minor victories in your life. If you quit a pack-a-day smoking habit in the US, you’re saving yourself $35–$105 per week (depending on where you live). Use that money to treat yourself for your discipline. Make a game out of it, and always thank yourself for being so good to yourself.

7. Try Tobacco Alternatives.

These days, alternatives to tobacco exist everywhere. Patches and gums provide a nicotine fix without inhalation. eCigarettes are a great alternative to smoking as well, since they replicate the act and lifestyle of smoking, while removing the harmful additives and carcinogens. Be careful with eCigs though: it’s a new industry, and there are a lot of sharks in those waters looking to make a quick buck.

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The above steps are meant only as general guidelines. I can provide all the facts, but at some point you have to just go out there and simply stop smoking. Every time you try to rationalize why you’re giving up on quitting, take control and remember that you’re in charge of your body. You should never compromise with yourself; instead follow through on your New Year’s resolution, and create a healthier, non-smoking you.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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