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8 Reasons Why You Should Pee in Your Garden

8 Reasons Why You Should Pee in Your Garden

Yes, you read that correctly.

Far from being solely the behaviour of the woefully inebriated, introducing urine to one’s garden space is actually an age-old practice that’s used by gardeners and farmers around the world. It has a number of different uses, so depending on what your garden needs, you can use it a variety of ways.

1. Urine as Fertilizer

Did you know that human urine is chock full of nitrogen? Okay, maybe you did, but you might be wondering why that’s a good thing, and what it has to do with your garden. Well, plants generally need more nitrogen than any other element, as it’s used to synthesize amino acids, enzymes, proteins, and chlorophyll, and some plants suck up far more than others do. Corn, for example, requires much more nitrogen than most other plants, which is why they were generally paired with beans as part of the Native “3 sisters” combination: beans deposit nitrogen into the soil, and thus help corn to thrive.

We’re not talking about beans right now, though: we’re talking about wee, which is such a high-quality fertilizer that a single person’s urine would be enough to fertilize up to one tenth of an acre of vegetables for an entire year. If you plan to use pee as a fertilizer for actual plants in your garden, be sure to dilute it in a 20:1 ratio (20 parts water, 1 part pee) and sprinkle it around on the soil around the plants, not the plants themselves.

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2. Soil Enhancer

As urine isn’t merely rich in nitrogen, but also phosphorous and potassium, it replenishes soil that has had its minerals depleted by over-farming. Get a bunch of friends together and have everyone pee in your garden in late autumn, then put down some layers of vegetable peelings, leaves, and hay as mulch. By springtime, that soil will be loaded with nutrients that will plump up your parsnips and coddle your cabbages.

3. Compost Accelerator

The whole point of composting vegetable matter is to break it down so it can be used to fertilize the next generation of plants, but that decomposition takes time.

The uric acid present in urine accelerates compost decomposition, so taking a leak on your compost pile is actually fantastic for breaking it down. Of course, uric acid is most concentrated in your first pee of the day, so if you’re aiming to let loose on the compost, you’ll either have to trudge out there will a full, insistent bladder, or else keep a jar/watering can/bucket in the washroom to collect said liquid gold and then toss it on the compost when you’re a bit less bleary-eyed.

4. Weed Murderer

Have you noticed that when dogs urinate on specific patches of grass, that grass tends to die? First it goes yellow (from the acids in the urine), then it dries up as it dies. Guess what? It’s not just un-diluted dog pee that will kill plants: human urine will do the same.

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It’s been mentioned that you have to dilute urine like crazy-pants to ensure that it’s safe for the garden, because the acids contained therein will burn and kill your plants if you use it full-strength. You can, however, use that full-strength pee on weeds that you don’t want in your garden.

5. Fungus Fighter

Speaking of things you don’t want in your garden… sometimes plants can develop fungal diseases like leaf rot and downy mildew. Remember that uric acid we talked about? It’s also great for eliminating/discouraging those fungi on plants like berry bushes and low trees. You’ll have to dilute it by about 50%, and then use a spray bottle to spritz the watery wee on the affected areas.

*Note: in both World Wars, soldiers apparently urinated on their own feet to get rid of (or even prevent) athlete’s foot and other foot-fungi that thrived in the damp trench conditions. Whether this was effective or not, I have no idea, but it’s possible that it helped!

6. High-Carbon-Soil Balancer

Most people don’t give much thought to how soil is made, but just like most other substances on the planet, it has to be built. That rich, dark soil that’s so gorgeous for planting was created over time from broken-down plant matter, including sawdust, leaves, branches, and hay. These are dry “brown” materials, high in carbon, that break down very, very slowly, while those that are high in nitrogen are moist “green” materials, such as lawn clippings, vegetable peelings… and urine.

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Ideally, you’ll want to have equal portions of brown and green matter so that your compost is well balanced, but those who keep compost heaps generally have a great deal more in the way of lawn clippings and leaves than potato peels and carrot tops. To boost the nitrogen quotient, add un-diluted urine to the heap: it won’t just accelerate the breakdown (as listed in #3), but will help to balance out the nutrient ratios in your future soil.

7. Animal Deterrent

If you’ve ever spent any time with a dog, you’ll notice that they like to mark their territory with their urine so all the other neighbourhood dogs know who lives where, and not to disrespect boundaries.

Apparently, the scent of human urine (again, early morning pungent pee) can keep animals such as cats, foxes, and rabbits away from your garden. This hasn’t been tested by anyone I know and could just be hearsay, but it could be worth a try! Do note that this supposedly only works with adult male urine, as it’s full of potent hormones and manliness and such.

8. Deer Defense

This is really an extension of #7, but is special enough for its own little section.

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If you live in an area that’s frequented by deer, you’ll likely have had some issues with the lovely beasts nibbling greenery from your garden. To keep them out of your lettuce bed, you should apparently fill a spray bottle with your own early morning urine (if you’re a guy—ladies will have to coax a partner or friend to donate instead), and then hose down the nearby trees, a few feet from the ground. Like, the height at which a deer’s nose will smell it easily.

The idea behind this is that deer are frightened of humans, and the strong scent of human presence should be enough to spook them away. If it doesn’t work, call up your local zoo or wildlife centre and ask them for a bag of coyote or wolf poop: that should keep them from venturing too close.

If you do decide to put any of these into practice, do let us know how/if they work for you.

As a side note, if you happen to get caught urinating in your yard after a night of particularly fervent partying, you can use some of these benefits as an excuse for your behaviour.

Good luck!

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Last Updated on January 14, 2019

7 Ways To Make Exercise Fun For Everyone

7 Ways To Make Exercise Fun For Everyone

From Atkins to Paleo to eating gluten-free despite not being one of the rare few people afflicted with celiac disease, fad diets are everywhere. It drives me crazy because I believe these diets do more harm than good. Your body is made up of a variety of vitamins, nutrients, and minerals, and losing weight healthily isn’t possible when you fill your body with unnecessary synthetic plastics, sugars, and powders. There’s no easy button in life.

What you need to do is exercise, which isn’t very appealing to many people. Workouts take work, so there’s already a stigma involved in going to the gym. Starting a healthy workout regimen becomes easier when you make it fun. If you want to live long and prosper, get off the couch and try these methods to turn your workout into a playout.

1. Take the scenic route.

Walking is an easy way to transition to a healthy lifestyle, and it’s free. Not only do you burn calories (check out this calculator for how many calories you burn based on your weight), but you see the world in a different way. Hiking in nature is great if you have access to it, but don’t let living in an urban area deter you from walking.

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Whenever I’m creatively stuck I get my head straight by walking a couple of miles. It’s also how I discover new paths, meet new people, and stumble upon hole-in-the-wall spots I never would have found otherwise. You could drive past the same place every day and never appreciate the beauty, nor even notice it’s there.

2. Distract yourself.

No matter what exercise routine you choose, use the time to meditate. You may wonder how marathon runners are able to put so many miles on their bodies. It’s because the pain from running that you avoid is something they’ve learned to harness to enter a transcendental state. If you’re aware of the benefits of meditation and exercise but don’t have time to do both, you can combine them, killing two birds with one healthy stone.

3. Listen to music or podcasts.

There are few experiences in life more pleasurable than turning up the music and drowning out the world around you. With so many podcasts and music apps available on your smartphone, you can easily find entertainment options perfectly suited to your personal tastes. Never worry what people may think of you when working out;instead, crank up the volume and get lost in your own world. You’ll be in shape before you know it.

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4. Bring a friend.

Some people can’t go anywhere alone. While I highly recommend dining out and seeing a movie in a theater alone, having company while exercising is very helpful. It allows you to pace yourself with someone else, and gives you a coach to motivate and push harder than you may have on your own.

Many exercises are safer when done with a friend, and some sports can only be played with another person. Involving others in your goals can mean the difference between success and failure. Just remember to continue exercising if the other person flakes, or they’ll be in control of your health.

5. Accessorize.

There are accessories that can make exercise easier, and sometimes buying a new toy can add some much-needed fun to your routine. With apps like RunKeeper and Nike+, your smartphone is capable of tracking your vitals and progress. Wrist weights can add a new dimension to your workout, and, if you exercise at night, a headlamp can help you see what’s in front of you so you don’t trip.

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For urban runners and power-walkers, one of the biggest obstacles is other people. It’s difficult to get in your meditative zone and enjoy your music when you constantly have to dodge people. To resolve this vexing issue, Runbell, a startup in Tokyo, has developed the runner’s version of the bicycle bell. With this lightweight brass bell warning people you’re approaching from behind, you’re free to maintain your transcendental state while continuing your workout. Head to their Kickstarter campaign to pledge your support.

6. Compete.

A little healthy competition can motivate you to push yourself further in your workout regimen. There are apps like Zombies, Run! which turns your run into a video game, and MyFitnessPal which allows you to connect with others in the exercise community. Whether you’re directly competing with a friend, an online community, or against your previous self, setting goals is the key to reaching them. Running with no destination can feel like an impossible task, and it’s easy to get distracted.

7. Relax.

The best part about exercising is how much you enjoy the downtime. If you think laying on your couch all day is enjoyable, it has nothing on that hour you spend as a couch potato after a rigorous workout. Jay-Z said it best, “in order to experience joy, you need pain.” The harder you push yourself while exercising, the better you’ll feel when you’re relaxing.

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With that said, don’t relax too much, or it loses the effect. It’s okay to indulge every so often. Treat yourself to some junk food you’re craving, imbibe a drink here and there, and spend a day vegging out on your couch. Staying healthy doesn’t have to be torture. Just turn down when you can and dedicate some time to better the health of your body. You only get one.

Featured photo credit: tpsdave via pixabay.com

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