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3 Things To Do Before You Can Benefit From Any Song You Hear

3 Things To Do Before You Can Benefit From Any Song You Hear

People listen to songs for pleasure. There’s nothing wrong with that. But, wouldn’t it be good if you could go beyond that? What if you could listen to any song, be entertained, but learn something from it at the same time? That’s what I’m going to share with you today – the three things you can do to benefit from any song you listen to.

1. Memorize the song

It’s interesting that even though we listen to a song many times we rarely memorize all of them. This is because you are listening passively; you let the words flow through your ears as if they are meaningless utterances and only the sound caught our attention. You need to change that.

Commit to memorize the songs you listen to because every memorization effort you take can help to solidify the strength of your memory. Aside from that, it can help you to understand the meaning behind the song because if you know every word in the song, you will easily grasp what the song writer has to convey.

For more tips on memorization, read the article “10 Practical Tips on Improving Memory” to start jump-start your memory improvement effort.

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2. Discover the meaning behind the song

Did you know that Paul McCartney of the Beatles wrote the song “Hey Jude” as a way to comfort John Lennon’s son, Julian, after the divorce of John Lennon? How about the song “Zombie” by the Cranberries which was about the ethno-political conflict in Ireland?

It’s important to discover the meanings behind songs you listen to as it can help you to appreciate the effort the song writer puts into it. Sometimes, you might find the meaning is relevant to your life and there are many people who explained how some songs changed their life after they discovered the meanings behind them.

Meanings can be subjective. There are meanings coming from song writers themselves or they can also be interpreted by you. It doesn’t matter what kind of meaning you choose because if a song has some sort of meaning that resonates with you, you can usually find it relevant to your life and cherish it.

Websites like Song Meanings and Song Facts are good places to learn the variety of meanings people attribute to the songs they listen to and how it can help you appreciate the diversity of opinions and interpretations.

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3. Make an anchor out of a song

Songs are good emotional anchors. Essentially, when you decide that a song is an anchor for an emotion, you will listen to it anytime you want to feel the emotion. There are various uses of song anchoring.

Generally, you can use it to motivate yourself by using anchoring “motivation” into high energy songs. If you are a novelist who writes in the romantic genre, you can listen to the song that you anchored for the feeling of “love” before you start your writing. Or maybe you need to write a reflection and you think a gloomy outlook can help you to be realistic, then just open the song that’s been anchored with “sadness.”

Songs are meant to be indulged

The three tips outlined above can be highly beneficial if you want to get the most out of any song. It can help you turn from a passive listener into a reflective and appreciative listener.

Your homework is to listen to the following song “Fix You” by Coldplay and answer the questions below the video.

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Try to understand the meaning behind the following phrases:

1. Stuck in reverse

2. Lights will guide you home

3. And I will try to fix you

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There are no right or wrong answers to these questions; It’s only right if your heart says that it’s right. Happy listening!

Featured photo credit: Sing along with me by John Liu via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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