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If You Want To Accomplish Everything You Want In Life, Remember These 10 Things

If You Want To Accomplish Everything You Want In Life, Remember These 10 Things

Why do some people who start from nothing achieve monumental things? It begins with your mindset. Whether life hands you a box of chocolates or a box of lemons, it’s really what you make of it. To accomplish everything you want in life, these are 10 things you can do to get there.

1. Find your passion(s).

What makes you happiest? What do you absolutely love to do so much that you would do it without getting paid? Those are your passions. And those are the things to pursue with vigor.

2. Set the right kinds of goals.

SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-driven) are beneficial in certain circumstances. In Dan and Chip Heath’s book, Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard, they say:

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“SMART goals are better for steady-state situations than for change situations, because the assumptions underlying them are that the goals are worthwhile.”

However, SMART goals often don’t have any emotional attachment to them, and this is necessary when you’re setting big life goals. The Heath brothers call this a “destination postcard” – a clearly painted picture of where you want to be in the future.

3. Break down the steps needed to accomplish your goals.

Goals without application are useless. What actions will you take to accomplish the things you want in life? What sacrifices are you willing to make? When will you start? These are tough questions, but important ones to answer if you want to achieve big things.

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4. Take chances.

Think about the accomplishments you’re most proud of. More likely than not, they occurred during times when you went out of your comfort zone and took risks. All great leaders recognize that failure is an opportunity for growth. You know what’s worse than failure? Not trying.

5. Celebrate the small wins.

Allow yourself to bask in the glory of small wins. Did you eat healthy today? Did you learn something new about starting your dream business and then go apply it? Pat yourself on the back and smile. You just took one step in the right direction. Take time at the end of every day to mentally congratulate yourself for these “small wins.”

6. Learn as much as you can.

Big achievers consciously treat every encounter they have as a learning experience. They read more, write more, and soak up knowledge wherever they can.

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7. Do the things that other people aren’t willing to do.

This is the number one thing that separates successful people from those who don’t achieve success. Successful people are willing to do the little things that others don’t want to do. They skip happy hour and hit the gym instead. They stay an extra hour at work to get a head start on a new project. They take the time to go to their kids’ practices. This is the price you pay for accomplishing amazing things.

8. Be mindful about how you spend your time.

Despite what The Rolling Stones said, time is not on your side. It’s your most precious asset, so think about how you use yours. And don’t confuse productivity with business. Productivity means putting in the necessary hours of deliberate practice necessary to become an expert in your craft.

9. Do little things every day to keep your body and mind healthy.

Notice I say “little things.” Because those are the things that will add up to big changes in your life. You don’t need to go to the gym for an hour every day. But there’s no excuse not to spend 5 or 10 minutes exercising. Think about it this way: do you want to increase your odds of being around longer so you have more time to spend with your family and friends… to accomplish everything you want in life? Then start taking the small steps necessary to make healthy habits a part of your life.

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10. Start now.

To accomplish the things you want in your life, you need to start. Not later. Not tomorrow. Now. I’ll leave you with these words from Mark Murphy, Founder and CEO of Leadership IQ:

“I’ll start tomorrow. Three words that are the death knell for goals. Because how many times have you said ‘tomorrow’ when what you really meant was ‘never’? I know, as the words tumble from your mouth, you believe them: ‘I’ll start a diet tomorrow.’ You feel strong, relieved, and 100 percent committed to your goal. It seems as if nothing can come between you and the promise of tomorrow. A tomorrow that really will be the first day of the rest of your life. But then tomorrow actually comes. And once again, we face the same decision: start right now or postpone starting for one more day. C’mon, it’s just one day, right? Seriously, how bad is it really going to be to postpone for one more day? The answer, of course, is postponing for one day probably isn’t the worst thing ever except that one day is never one day. One day becomes two, two days become three, and three days become years.”

Featured photo credit: FotoRita [Allstar maniac] via flickr.com

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Scott Christ

Scott Christ is a writer, entrepreneur, and founder of Pure Food Company.

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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