Advertising
Advertising

The Most Important Art You Must Learn

The Most Important Art You Must Learn

Is Love an art? It requires knowledge and effort. Or is Love a pleasant sensation, which to experience is a matter of chance, something one “falls into” if one is lucky? A little book is based on the former premise, while the majority of people today believe in the latter.

Reading this passage from Erich Fromm’s book, The Art of Loving (Harper and Row, 1956), would make those who barely know him and his books think he wrote it in recent years. Surprisingly, the book was published in 1956. After 58 years the book still rings timeless wisdom on how Love is the most important art everyone must learn.

Advertising

Here are some thought-provoking insights that will help you understand how to live Love as an art:

“BEING LOVED” vs. “LOVING”

Erich Fromm points out that many people tend to think Love is about being loved by someone. To be loved by the perfect person, you need to be perfect in all aspects of your personality. That is just too stressful, for no one can live up to the perfection of others. To learn Love as an art is to know “one’s capacity for Loving.” And that is learned first by understanding this problem:

Advertising

The problem of OBJECT vs. FACULTY

Because people think they have to wait or search for the perfect object of Love who can give them Love they need, they do not think Love is a problem of faculty. Faculty refers to our capacities of not just thinking but also feeling, contemplation, intuition, imagination, understanding and decision-making.

Sadly, our notion of Love points out just one special romantic object and a specific romantic relationship that ultimately we miss the whole point of the art of Loving itself, which is:

Advertising

Love is an ATTITUDE

Erich Fromm emphasizes that Love cannot be just for a single object or person while excluding all others. The art of Loving is about actively developing an attitude that you Love the humanity in every person as you express your Love to a particular person. Anyone can practice this art by having this profound attention and interest in knowing oneself, the other and the world, and there are simple practices to do it:

Love is a practice of KNOWLEDGE

Erich Fromm reminds firmly that Love is about knowing oneself as well as the other. He writes: “Love is the only way of knowledge…” He compares this to the ancient motto know thyself, believed to be quoted by Socrates. Knowledge of oneself is fundamental to knowing, caring, respecting and responding to others, the elements by which Love becomes possible.

Advertising

Love is a practice of CONCENTRATION

Erich Fromm suggests concentration is a very challenging practice. What he meant by concentration is about three concentration practices: meditation, listening and paying attention to the present moment. We never thought of this, but for those who meditate in whatever form, their practice has led them somehow in also mastering listening and paying attention. Love as an art is no different from these three practices, and you’ll learn for yourself how the nature of Love can be so profound and so practical at the same time.

Love is a practice of HAVING FAITH in ONESELF

It’s not surprising in the Internet age we have read so much about sense of purpose, sense of meaning, self-compassion, self-acceptance, following one’s heart, and many others that point out to what Erich Fromm calls the practice of faith. And he points out this is not about blind faith, which he thinks is irrational, but having a rational faith, or being firm of one’s conviction. If you have faith in yourself that you can do great, you can make a difference, then you are practicing this art.

Love as an art, according to Erich Fromm, is primarily an “inner activity,” the “power of the soul.” You learn Love then you Love. Ultimately, you live Love both as a learning and as an action. This is as much true as it was when Erich Fromm’s book was published. This makes it a truly important art that we must learn in our lives.

Featured photo credit: Love/las initially via flickr.com

More by this author

The Most Important Art You Must Learn 10 Happiness Habits You Often Forget

Trending in Communication

1 7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life 2 10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On 3 What Is Your Destiny in Life? How to Mindfully Achieve Your Purpose 4 7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck 5 10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your Life Forever

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

Advertising

2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

Advertising

These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

Advertising

You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

Advertising

7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next