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Seriously, Mom Guilt Again? 5 Steps to Help Get Rid Of the Guilt

Seriously, Mom Guilt Again? 5 Steps to Help Get Rid Of the Guilt

Okay, yes, there are many articles about guilt and being a mom. Why is this article so different? Well, besides the fact that I am a super guilt-ridden person and a stay-at-home-mom to boys, it probably is not all that different. Stick with me and find out how these 5 simple steps can help you maintain sanity and a guilt-free mind!

As of writing this, my two boys (five and three) are playing chase right next to me. Obviously, they are trying to get my attention and get me to play with them. So, of course, I feel guilty for writing this article instead of playing with my young boys.

I have such a great train of thought going right now, so I have to let the words flow. The minute I am done, the chasing-mom game will begin! This is an example of one of the steps that I will explain a little later.

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    Why do (we) moms feel guilty about everything? Well, our jobs are taking care of our kiddos. When we “ignore” our kids to get something done (write, clean, eat…) we feel like we are not doing our jobs. The amazing thing about taking these breaks, though, is that we actually refuel our minds to be better moms. Even if it is a 5-minute break, it helps us unwind.

    Moms who work all day also can feel guilt because they are not seeing their kiddos all day. There should not be any guilt (even though I totally understand the feeling), because being able to come home to your kids gives you and them such an awesome rush of happiness when you are able to see them after being apart all day! Embrace that moment and know that you are doing your best.

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    Most of the time, guilt is coming from a negative source. There is good guilt, but that is more than likely remorse, and that is another subject entirely. Back to guilt. Once we allow those negative thoughts in, we give life to them. Our minds are very powerful, and feeding them good, quality thoughts enables us to live a very happy, guilt-free life. By following these steps, you can make your life more guilt-free.

    ~ If you receive a guilty thought, try and remove it from your mind by thinking of something positive about the situation. For example, when I started writing this article, my kids wanted me to chase them, and I felt guilty. However, I continued to write, knowing that I was going to play as soon as I was done. They are happy playing by themselves for a bit, and they know they will receive my full attention soon. I knew my outcome would be extremely positive, so the guilt left.

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      ~ Once that guilty thought comes in and you’ve tried to remove it with positive thoughts, if that did not work, stop, take a breath and try to meditate. Focus on your breathing for 5 minutes and move on.


        ~ Try a quick yoga session and focus on exercise. This can even be a session of 15 minutes or less. It just needs to be something to get your mind off of the guilty thought.

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        ~ Embrace the guilty thought and remind yourself you are doing the best you can. Rationalizing your guilty thought will make you realize that there was a reason for it, but that you can work past it. That thought will disappear once you realize that you are amazing!

        ~ Prayer can be very healing for guilty thoughts. Make sure you truly do take a few minutes to yourself to pray.


          No matter what your method for ridding yourself of guilty thoughts is, just know that you are fabulous and you are trying your best. Do not give in to guilt. Be strong and happy, and be thankful for your wonderful life!

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          Last Updated on September 16, 2019

          How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

          How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

          You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

          We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

          The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

          Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

          1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

          Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

          For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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          • (1) Research
          • (2) Deciding the topic
          • (3) Creating the outline
          • (4) Drafting the content
          • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
          • (6) Revision
          • (7) etc.

          Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

          2. Change Your Environment

          Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

          One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

          3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

          Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

          Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

          My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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          Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

          4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

          If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

          Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

          I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

          5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

          I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

          Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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          As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

          6. Get a Buddy

          Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

          I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

          7. Tell Others About Your Goals

          This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

          For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

          8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

          What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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          9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

          If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

          Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

          10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

          Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

          Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

          11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

          At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

          Reality check:

          I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

          More About Procrastination

          Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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