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Seriously, Mom Guilt Again? 5 Steps to Help Get Rid Of the Guilt

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Seriously, Mom Guilt Again? 5 Steps to Help Get Rid Of the Guilt

Okay, yes, there are many articles about guilt and being a mom. Why is this article so different? Well, besides the fact that I am a super guilt-ridden person and a stay-at-home-mom to boys, it probably is not all that different. Stick with me and find out how these 5 simple steps can help you maintain sanity and a guilt-free mind!

As of writing this, my two boys (five and three) are playing chase right next to me. Obviously, they are trying to get my attention and get me to play with them. So, of course, I feel guilty for writing this article instead of playing with my young boys.

I have such a great train of thought going right now, so I have to let the words flow. The minute I am done, the chasing-mom game will begin! This is an example of one of the steps that I will explain a little later.

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    Why do (we) moms feel guilty about everything? Well, our jobs are taking care of our kiddos. When we “ignore” our kids to get something done (write, clean, eat…) we feel like we are not doing our jobs. The amazing thing about taking these breaks, though, is that we actually refuel our minds to be better moms. Even if it is a 5-minute break, it helps us unwind.

    Moms who work all day also can feel guilt because they are not seeing their kiddos all day. There should not be any guilt (even though I totally understand the feeling), because being able to come home to your kids gives you and them such an awesome rush of happiness when you are able to see them after being apart all day! Embrace that moment and know that you are doing your best.

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    Most of the time, guilt is coming from a negative source. There is good guilt, but that is more than likely remorse, and that is another subject entirely. Back to guilt. Once we allow those negative thoughts in, we give life to them. Our minds are very powerful, and feeding them good, quality thoughts enables us to live a very happy, guilt-free life. By following these steps, you can make your life more guilt-free.

    ~ If you receive a guilty thought, try and remove it from your mind by thinking of something positive about the situation. For example, when I started writing this article, my kids wanted me to chase them, and I felt guilty. However, I continued to write, knowing that I was going to play as soon as I was done. They are happy playing by themselves for a bit, and they know they will receive my full attention soon. I knew my outcome would be extremely positive, so the guilt left.

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      ~ Once that guilty thought comes in and you’ve tried to remove it with positive thoughts, if that did not work, stop, take a breath and try to meditate. Focus on your breathing for 5 minutes and move on.


        ~ Try a quick yoga session and focus on exercise. This can even be a session of 15 minutes or less. It just needs to be something to get your mind off of the guilty thought.

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        ~ Embrace the guilty thought and remind yourself you are doing the best you can. Rationalizing your guilty thought will make you realize that there was a reason for it, but that you can work past it. That thought will disappear once you realize that you are amazing!

        ~ Prayer can be very healing for guilty thoughts. Make sure you truly do take a few minutes to yourself to pray.

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          No matter what your method for ridding yourself of guilty thoughts is, just know that you are fabulous and you are trying your best. Do not give in to guilt. Be strong and happy, and be thankful for your wonderful life!

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          Last Updated on November 22, 2021

          Thanksgiving: It’s About The Simple Things

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          Thanksgiving: It’s About The Simple Things

          Thanksgiving, a day of pure gluttony, football, and possible uncomfortable situations with family members that you may or may not like. Oh, yeah, and the whole “know and reflect on what it is to be thankful and grateful.”

          During the holiday season many people forget what this time of year is bout and are too worried about getting the “early-bird” deals on Black Friday and making sure that they have the perfect gifts for their loved ones. I am sort of a “Grinch” when it comes to the holiday season, mostly because of that mentality by many of the poeple around me.

          But instead of being grinch-like this holiday season, I decided to simplify things and get back to what this time of year is actually is about; being thankful for what I have and what I can give.

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          Simplify

          I’m not a “minimalist” in any real sense, but in the last few months the talks of Patrick Rhone and others have got me to rethink my stance. Can you really have too much stuff?

          Absolutely.

          And with all that stuff comes the burden and the weight of it on your back.

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          If you feel that the things around you are out of control, maybe it’s time to simplify and be thankful and grateful for what you have and use. Here are a few things that you can do to simplify:

          • You know those gadgets in the drawer that you said you were going to sell? Well, time to get the listing on eBay and sell them. Or, send them to a place like Gazelle. Even if they are old and won’t get money, you can at least recycle them.
          • Get rid of things you don’t need. Like old books, clothes, tools, etc. Have something that’s been laying around forever with no use? Donate it to a charity or church. If you aren’t using it, someone else could be.
          • Find your productivity tools and stick with them. Use tools and gadgets that serve multiple purposes so you can simplify your tool set.

          Be Mindful

          You don’t have to be a master Buddhist or meditator to be mindful (although, it can definitely help). Being mindful comes down to being cognizant of the present and not keeping yourself in the past or future. It’s about living in the moment and being aware of yourself and everything around you. It’s just being.

          Without getting too “California” on you, it is super important to be mindful during the holiday rush. Rather than worrying about the things that you forgot at your house on the way to relatives or thinking about the next stop in your endless holiday travels, just breath and think about what you are currently doing.

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          Spend the time with your family and friends and don’t crush the moment. Try not to concentrate so hard on getting the perfect photo of the “awesome moment” of the day and actually miss the awesome moment.

          Being mindful over the holidays will help you be with your families, friends, and yourself allowing you to enjoy your time.

          Reflect

          As the year is coming to a close (yes, it really is that close!) it’s a great time to start reflecting on what you have accomplished and what you haven’t. Within the next few weeks we will have a more throrough reflection article here at Lifehack.org, but reflecting every now and then over your holiday break is a great way to see where you have been doing well in your life and where you need to improve.

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          Reflection shouldn’t be used to “get down” on yourself. Reflection should be used to take an honset inventory of what you have accomplished, how you handeled situations, and what you can do better. If you journal everyday (a daily form of reflection) it may be a good time to start going over some of the things that you have written and start to put together a year’s end journal entry. I mean, how else will you write your autobiography?

          But, seriously, reflecting on yourself makes you aware of your successes and faults and helps you plan and make goals for the coming year. It makes you a better person.

          So, while you are stuffing your face with bird, stuffing, and mashed taters’, remember that the holidays are much more than the superficial things. Use this holiday to become a better person.

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          Featured photo credit: Libby Penner via unsplash.com

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