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Seriously, Mom Guilt Again? 5 Steps to Help Get Rid Of the Guilt

Seriously, Mom Guilt Again? 5 Steps to Help Get Rid Of the Guilt

Okay, yes, there are many articles about guilt and being a mom. Why is this article so different? Well, besides the fact that I am a super guilt-ridden person and a stay-at-home-mom to boys, it probably is not all that different. Stick with me and find out how these 5 simple steps can help you maintain sanity and a guilt-free mind!

As of writing this, my two boys (five and three) are playing chase right next to me. Obviously, they are trying to get my attention and get me to play with them. So, of course, I feel guilty for writing this article instead of playing with my young boys.

I have such a great train of thought going right now, so I have to let the words flow. The minute I am done, the chasing-mom game will begin! This is an example of one of the steps that I will explain a little later.

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    Why do (we) moms feel guilty about everything? Well, our jobs are taking care of our kiddos. When we “ignore” our kids to get something done (write, clean, eat…) we feel like we are not doing our jobs. The amazing thing about taking these breaks, though, is that we actually refuel our minds to be better moms. Even if it is a 5-minute break, it helps us unwind.

    Moms who work all day also can feel guilt because they are not seeing their kiddos all day. There should not be any guilt (even though I totally understand the feeling), because being able to come home to your kids gives you and them such an awesome rush of happiness when you are able to see them after being apart all day! Embrace that moment and know that you are doing your best.

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    Most of the time, guilt is coming from a negative source. There is good guilt, but that is more than likely remorse, and that is another subject entirely. Back to guilt. Once we allow those negative thoughts in, we give life to them. Our minds are very powerful, and feeding them good, quality thoughts enables us to live a very happy, guilt-free life. By following these steps, you can make your life more guilt-free.

    ~ If you receive a guilty thought, try and remove it from your mind by thinking of something positive about the situation. For example, when I started writing this article, my kids wanted me to chase them, and I felt guilty. However, I continued to write, knowing that I was going to play as soon as I was done. They are happy playing by themselves for a bit, and they know they will receive my full attention soon. I knew my outcome would be extremely positive, so the guilt left.

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      ~ Once that guilty thought comes in and you’ve tried to remove it with positive thoughts, if that did not work, stop, take a breath and try to meditate. Focus on your breathing for 5 minutes and move on.


        ~ Try a quick yoga session and focus on exercise. This can even be a session of 15 minutes or less. It just needs to be something to get your mind off of the guilty thought.

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        ~ Embrace the guilty thought and remind yourself you are doing the best you can. Rationalizing your guilty thought will make you realize that there was a reason for it, but that you can work past it. That thought will disappear once you realize that you are amazing!

        ~ Prayer can be very healing for guilty thoughts. Make sure you truly do take a few minutes to yourself to pray.


          No matter what your method for ridding yourself of guilty thoughts is, just know that you are fabulous and you are trying your best. Do not give in to guilt. Be strong and happy, and be thankful for your wonderful life!

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          Last Updated on January 3, 2020

          The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

          The 10 Essential Habits of Positive People

          Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand?  If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

          The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places!  Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

          1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

          Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go of negative forces in their lives.  Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

           I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life … 

          To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones … 

          And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

           2.  Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

          Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

          3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

          Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

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          4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

          The most positive people are the most grateful people.  They do not focus on the potholes of their lives.  They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences.  They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

          5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized by their possibilities.

          Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do.  They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities.  They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time.  They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

          6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere with their lives!

          Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

          7. Positive people smile a lot!

          When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

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          8. People who are positive are great communicators.

          They realize that assertive, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life.  They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact and finesse.  They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

          9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

          One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time.  Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.  

          10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

          Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe.They limit interactions with those who are toxic in any manner, even if it comes to legal action and physical estrangement such as in the case of abuse. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

          How about you?  How many habits of positive people do you personally find in yourself?  If you lack even a few of these 10 essential habits, you might find that the expected treasure at the end of the rainbow was not all that it was cracked up to be. How could it — if you keep on bringing a negative attitude around?

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          I wish you well in keeping positive, because as we all know, there is certainly nothing positive about being negative!

          Featured photo credit: Janaína Castelo Branco via flickr.com

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