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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Have Happy Thoughts and Train Your Brain to Be Happy

How to Have Happy Thoughts and Train Your Brain to Be Happy

Does your brain produce unhappy or happy thoughts?

Sometimes we think it’s our genes that make us the kind of person we are. However, that’s not the whole story. Often we are so preoccupied with the status quo that we forget we have the power to become the person we want to be.

If happiness is what you’re after, know that by training your brain you can program your mind to make you happy. And let’s face it, who is not looking to be happy?

Here’s how you can start instilling happy thoughts in your brain:

1. You choose how happy you are.

How? By the type of thoughts you make. Positive thoughts make you happy, while negative thoughts make you unhappy.

“I’m so fat.” – That’s a negative thought that makes you feel helpless.

“I will never achieve this.” – Another negative thought.

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“I like spending time with my spouse.” – A positive thought that brings you good feelings.

“Let’s go on vacation, babe!” – Now that’s excitement! Happiness is here!

So far so good.  But how can you produce more positive thoughts so that you’re happier?

2. You CAN train your brain to think happy thoughts.

By training your brain to think more positively than negatively, you’ll become happier. Here’s an example:

Have you noticed how some people feel bad about themselves when someone criticizes them, while others never seem to care?

What most people don’t know is that how you react to criticism is a habit – a thinking habit.

Some people habitually take it personally and feel unhappy, while others are habitually indifferent and keep being happy.

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That isn’t true just about criticism. It’s true about everything: how you react to compliments; how you react to bad drivers; how you react when you feel threatened or taken advantage of.

By actively choosing different thoughts, you can reinforce the habit of thinking positively and decrease the habit of thinking negatively.

But what about occasions that are indeed negative? Does this mean you should deny the truth and wear rose-colored glasses? No.

3. You can think positive and still be realistic.

Some people equate “thinking positively” as wearing rose-colored glasses. That’s not what I am suggesting.

“I’m so unfit” – a negative thought that brings in bad feelings.

“I’m so unfit but I am now exercising and I’m getting fitter every day!” – started out as a negative thought, but got twisted into a positive thought. The result? One step closer to happiness!

You see, the word “but” is magical: it keeps your thoughts realistic, but they no longer make you unhappy!

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4. Add a “but” to turn your unhappiness into happiness.

If you could just add a harmless “but” to every negative thought you produced, you could transform all negative thoughts into positive ones.

The result? You could transform all your unhappiness into happiness! A few examples:

  • “I feel like will never lose weight” becomes “I feel like I will never lose weight, but I know there are other people who used to be exactly like me and made it happen!”
  • “I will never find love” becomes “I will never find love if I keep staying at home just like I am right now. But if I start going out more, my luck might change.”
  • “I will never pay off this debt” becomes “I will never pay off this debt, but I could pay some of it if I start saving $100 more every month.”

See how powerful the word “but” is? It’s like having a happiness magic wand!

5. The more you get used to adding a “but,” the better happiness results you get.

At first you’ll need practice. Adding a “but” to your negative thoughts does not come naturally when you’re just starting out.

However, the more you do it, the more your brain creates neural pathways that build the habit of thinking “but” automatically every time you think negatively.

This “but” technique will literally change the structure of your brain and elevate your happiness level dramatically. Being happy can be that easy.

6. Stop making meaningless affirmations.

Many people try to jump to the happy thought directly from the unhappy thought. So instead of thinking “I’m so unfit, but I am now exercising and I’m getting fitter every day,” they’ll think “I’m fit”. They jumped from “I’m so unfit” to “I’m fit”.

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The problem is that usually those affirmations and “happy thoughts” are not really happy thoughts. They instead make you unhappy. Why? Because you don’t believe them.

If you believe you’re unfit, you cannot fool yourself into believing you are fit. However, you can believe that you can get fit.

And that’s why the “but” technique works so marvelously. Just like the “what if” technique, it accepts where you are, but shows you the road ahead.

Identify your negative thought that you can turn into a positive one with the simple use of a “but” now. Today is the day you can start training your brain to be happy!

More About Positive Thinking

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

More by this author

Maria Brilaki

Maria helps people create habits that stick not just for a month or two but for years and decades.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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