Advertising
Advertising

How To Listen To Your Inner Thoughts When Making Tough Decisions

How To Listen To Your Inner Thoughts When Making Tough Decisions

Finding the right way to listen to yourself so that you can make the best choice when facing a tough decision sometimes proves to be a really difficult task. More often than not, people tell you to calm down, breathe, take some ginseng and meditate, or to hang around the closest temple, yoga place, or park that you might happen to stumble upon.

But truth be told, you probably just don’t have the head for any of that. At times you feel like you just don’t know where to make the right turn (note: right in terms of correctness, eh!) and creating the mental calmness to reflect and think about a tough call is not that easy.

Advertising

If you have ever felt this way, you will know that after spinning your wheels for some crazy amount of time, just like me, you’ll probably decide to go dig around the web for some good ol’ useful no-nonsense advice.  Hopefully sooner than later, you’ll arrive at Lifehack and start reading something useful.

Let’s go over some practical, useful, no-mumbo-jumbo-required pointers that will help:

Advertising

1. Take a hike.

Literally—not the “long hike on a short pier” thing, but actually step outside of the area where you feel you cannot listen to yourself. The blaring TV, surround sound system, and scream and shouts scenario will not help, so step outside, go for a walk, and hunt for a space where you can actually sit for a moment and listen to yourself. Steer away from bars!

The idea is find a place where you can actually relax and no one will bother you. Once you find the right place, include also a virtual hike: turn off the cell phone, tablet or any electronical device that could distract you. It’s about having some quality time with yourself.

Advertising

2. Stop your pushy self on its tracks.

Do you find yourself fighting the uphill battle and doing your very best, even though all the signs point to a different direction? Well, you should have guessed by now that “that” is not the best approach; there’s a big difference between stubbornness and constancy—if you cannot tell them apart, well we have a situation that will require another post just for this topic. But, for a quick pointer, check how you feel about the situation; if you are uneasy, upset, tired, and about to require anger management support, your actions are stubbornness-based.

3. Patience is not passiveness.

Patience means you understand and are supportive; therefore, you do your very best to obtain the results you are looking for. This is the opposite of hoping things will magically fix themselves and doing nothing. Baking a cake takes time. Sure, you can crank up the temperature, but the end result will not be a cake in 10 minutes, but a half-burnt-half-raw-cake-mess that no one will dare to taste. Every process requires a certain sequence of steps, each with its own time frame.

Advertising

4. Prioritize in a consistent and consequential way.

Being in a tough call scenario means you have thought long and hard about the topic; therefore, make sure your actions are completely aligned to your actual decision, which in turn are fine-tuned to what’s best for you; keep in mind that you should define that not from an egotistic approach but from a reflective and responsible approach.

5. Ditch doubts and trust your judgment.

If you can think—which you obviously can—and have done precisely that throughout your decision-making process, have complete trust in yourself. Can you imagine how would you act without self-doubts and anxiety? Well, you can; you are more than capable enough to act upon your call. It isn’t about eliminating fear; it is about trusting yourself and your judgment. Go for it now!

Featured photo credit: tumblr_n4ef69szs71st5lhmo1_1280.jpg via morguefile.com

More by this author

Listen your inner thoughts How To Listen To Your Inner Thoughts When Making Tough Decisions

Trending in Communication

1 11 Red Flags in a Relationship Not To Ignore 2 Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating 3 7 Simple Ways To Be Famous In One Year 4 How To Feel Happier (10 Scienece-Backed Ways) 5 31 Simple Ways to Free Your Mind Immediately

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

Advertising

The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

Advertising

The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

Advertising

Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

Advertising

The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

Read Next