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Struggling With Tough Decisions? This 10/10/10 Rule Will Save You And Benefit Your Whole Life

Struggling With Tough Decisions? This 10/10/10 Rule Will Save You And Benefit Your Whole Life

You receive a fantastic job opportunity. It means a promotion and more money. You may never be offered such an unbelievable proposition again. Your first reaction is to go with your gut and accept the offer. Unfortunately, you are required to relocate to a different state. The thought of leaving your established life tears you in two. A chance like this is a once in a lifetime deal. But how can you abandon your aging parents, friends and everything you know, just to advance your career? Maybe you have a family of your own and the choice you make will disrupt not only your life but theirs as well. New schools, new doctors, new house. It’s a tough decision that’s keeping you awake at night. Stay or go? You’ve weighed the pros and cons and still can’t make a clear cut choice.

According to an article on Fast Company[1], the decisions that most people regret were made with visceral emotions: hasty, rash, and in the heat of the moment. There may be a few wedding chapels in Las Vegas that concur. When faced with a major, tough decision, it’s best to hit the pause button on the moment and use this simple 10/10/10 formula to help pave the way to clearer thinking during these difficult situations.

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The10/10/10 Rule

Columnist, former editor of the Harvard Business Review and mom, Suzy Welch, came up with the idea of the 10/10/10 Rule to help her balance her hectic life with business and family[2]. She used it to troubleshoot the dilemmas life shot her way. When she was thrown a choice, she would pause and ask herself these three questions:

  • How will you feel about the consequences of this choice 10 minutes from now?
  • How will you feel about this 10 months from now?
  • How will you feel about this 10 years from now?

By not making decisions in the moment, ruled by strong emotions, Welch found she would make better choices based on her answers to the questions.

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Applying the 10/10/10 rule to your life

You don’t have to be juggling kids and work to apply the 10/10/10 formula to your decision making. You can use it to face other challenges, big and small:

Use the rule to make those major decisions, like marriage. You believe you have finally found your true life partner. You may be crazy in love, texting each other little notes throughout the day. You live in constant bliss. Even that leaving the cap off the toothpaste thing doesn’t irk you. And the trail of clothes across the floor- adorable! True love only comes once, right? You want to get married. Stop! Don’t let yourself get swept away by your hormone-influenced passions. Before you take that important, life-altering plunge, apply the 10/10/10 rule. Ask yourself how your relationship will be like in ten minutes- probably not much different. Then look forward to 10 months. Still cozy? Now fast forward to ten years. Can you see yourself going the distance with your partner through thick and thin? Will you still find that those little quirks adorable or will they become annoying? Will your relationship still stand after the honeymoon phase has waned?

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Use the 10/10/10 rule as a tool for life. Thinking about selling everything and roaming the world? In ten minutes you are still psyched over the idea. Ten months from now you may be able to see yourself hanging out in Ubud with a laptop, a fruity drink, and a dark tan. Ten years from now? Are you still traveling? Wanting to start a family? Regretting ditching college? Each person has their own priorities. What are yours? This 10/10/10 rule helps you to face what is really important in your life. What is pertinent today may not be 10 years down the road.

Use the 10/10/10 rule to help you through life’s tough challenges. Think smart. Be smart. And consider the future of your actions.

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Reference

[1] Fast Company: 10-10-10-Rule for Tough Decisions
[2] Oprah.com: The Rule of 10-10-10

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Sally White

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

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Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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