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Struggling With Tough Decisions? This 10/10/10 Rule Will Save You And Benefit Your Whole Life

Struggling With Tough Decisions? This 10/10/10 Rule Will Save You And Benefit Your Whole Life

You receive a fantastic job opportunity. It means a promotion and more money. You may never be offered such an unbelievable proposition again. Your first reaction is to go with your gut and accept the offer. Unfortunately, you are required to relocate to a different state. The thought of leaving your established life tears you in two. A chance like this is a once in a lifetime deal. But how can you abandon your aging parents, friends and everything you know, just to advance your career? Maybe you have a family of your own and the choice you make will disrupt not only your life but theirs as well. New schools, new doctors, new house. It’s a tough decision that’s keeping you awake at night. Stay or go? You’ve weighed the pros and cons and still can’t make a clear cut choice.

According to an article on Fast Company[1], the decisions that most people regret were made with visceral emotions: hasty, rash, and in the heat of the moment. There may be a few wedding chapels in Las Vegas that concur. When faced with a major, tough decision, it’s best to hit the pause button on the moment and use this simple 10/10/10 formula to help pave the way to clearer thinking during these difficult situations.

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The10/10/10 Rule

Columnist, former editor of the Harvard Business Review and mom, Suzy Welch, came up with the idea of the 10/10/10 Rule to help her balance her hectic life with business and family[2]. She used it to troubleshoot the dilemmas life shot her way. When she was thrown a choice, she would pause and ask herself these three questions:

  • How will you feel about the consequences of this choice 10 minutes from now?
  • How will you feel about this 10 months from now?
  • How will you feel about this 10 years from now?

By not making decisions in the moment, ruled by strong emotions, Welch found she would make better choices based on her answers to the questions.

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Applying the 10/10/10 rule to your life

You don’t have to be juggling kids and work to apply the 10/10/10 formula to your decision making. You can use it to face other challenges, big and small:

Use the rule to make those major decisions, like marriage. You believe you have finally found your true life partner. You may be crazy in love, texting each other little notes throughout the day. You live in constant bliss. Even that leaving the cap off the toothpaste thing doesn’t irk you. And the trail of clothes across the floor- adorable! True love only comes once, right? You want to get married. Stop! Don’t let yourself get swept away by your hormone-influenced passions. Before you take that important, life-altering plunge, apply the 10/10/10 rule. Ask yourself how your relationship will be like in ten minutes- probably not much different. Then look forward to 10 months. Still cozy? Now fast forward to ten years. Can you see yourself going the distance with your partner through thick and thin? Will you still find that those little quirks adorable or will they become annoying? Will your relationship still stand after the honeymoon phase has waned?

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Use the 10/10/10 rule as a tool for life. Thinking about selling everything and roaming the world? In ten minutes you are still psyched over the idea. Ten months from now you may be able to see yourself hanging out in Ubud with a laptop, a fruity drink, and a dark tan. Ten years from now? Are you still traveling? Wanting to start a family? Regretting ditching college? Each person has their own priorities. What are yours? This 10/10/10 rule helps you to face what is really important in your life. What is pertinent today may not be 10 years down the road.

Use the 10/10/10 rule to help you through life’s tough challenges. Think smart. Be smart. And consider the future of your actions.

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Reference

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Sally White

writer, artist & blogger

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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