Advertising
Advertising

Here’re 8 Quick Tips To Gain Trust Told By FBI Agent

Here’re 8 Quick Tips To Gain Trust Told By FBI Agent

Robin Dreeke, Head of Behavioral Analysis for the FBI, in his book It’s Not all About Me: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone explains techniques you can use in building trust and starting a relationship with anyone.

It all boils down to excellent communication skills. The take home from the book is the fact that it is backed backed social and evolutionary psychology, something that the author has been able to hone from several years of experience on the field.

Here are some insights on how to gain trust as told by an FBI agent.

Advertising

1. Make the other person feel at ease

Different non verbal approach like standing toe to toe with someone or an inappropriate handshake can intimidate someone or appear threatening. The first way to make the other person comfortable with confiding in you is to offer a simple smile. Make the other person feel at ease by also offering a firm and a confident handshake.

2. Ask for help

The act of making a request makes the other person realize you are also as fallible as he/she. We all naturally feel connected to those who ask us for help. In Robin Dreeke’s book it is quoted,

“Have you ever felt a pang of guilt for turning down someone seeking help? I have personally found that there is no greater theme and tool for eliciting individuals for action, information, and a great conversation than the use of sympathy or assistance.”

Advertising

3. Allow them to talk

Taking over the show by speaking frequently doesn’t show strength, but rather shows you have low self esteem or do not know what you are talking about. Allow the other person to speak and air his/her opinions. Even when you do have to speak, speak slowly.

4. Offer a gift

In humans there exists the need for reciprocation. When you offer people something they naturally feel like returning your kindness. To build great relationships and secure trust always be willing to offer something.

5. Suspend your ego

According to Robin Dreeke, when trying to secure trust and build a relationship, it is always best to suspend your ego and put the other person’s needs ahead of your own.

Advertising

“Suspending your ego is nothing more complex than putting other individuals’ wants, needs, and perceptions of reality ahead of your own.” – Robin Dreeke

6. Allow the other person to feel validated

By validating the other, you keep the conversation and relationship flowing. It means you are listening and attentive to what he/she is talking about. Thus we are mindful and we do not forget the details of what the other person has told us.

“True validation coupled with ego suspension means that you have no story to offer, that you are there simply to hear theirs.” – Robin Dreeke

Advertising

7. Ask open ended questions

By asking the how, when and why you show you are interested in the other person’s thoughts and opinions. You also boost their ego and offer a platform for them to trust you in return.

“Open ended questions are ones that don’t require a simple yes or no answer. They are generally questions that require more words and thought. Once the individual being targeted in the conversation supplies more words and thought, a great conversationalist will utilize the content given and continue to ask open ended questions about the same content.

8. Manage your expectations

Don’t expect the perfect response. Manage your expectations appropriately because otherwise your emotions will only give way to disappointment, resentment and anger.

“When we are able to shift or manage our expectations, we reduce potential disappointment. When we are disappointed, we sometimes get angry and may even hold grudges and get hurt feelings.”

Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

6 Things To Do Every Day To Ensure You Stick To Your Goals How to Form Your Success Formula to Get Unstuck in Life 10 Habits Of People Who Are Highly Successful At Work 8 Reasons Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful 15 Signs Of Self-Absorbed People

Trending in Communication

1 Positive and Negative Reinforcement: Which Is More Effective? 2 13 Reasons Why You Should Fail Fast to Learn Fast 3 10 Things to Do If You’re Feeling Hopeless About Your Future 4 5 Ways to Help Yourself Advance Your Mental Strength 5 Feeling Like a Failure? 10 Simple Things to Help You Rise Again

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

Advertising

6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

Advertising

12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

Advertising

18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

Advertising

24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

Read Next