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6 Most Important Social Skills You Can Have To Make A Great Social Life

6 Most Important Social Skills You Can Have To Make A Great Social Life

As a lifehacker, you probably know that some of your actions are responsible for most of your success. When it comes to making friends and having a great social life, some social skills make the most difference. Here are six of them.

1. Find Great Places To Meet New People

Friendship always happens in a certain environment. This environment can be a school, a workplace, or just a friends’ house. It always starts with a circumstance that brings people together. This happens mostly by chance, and that is far from ideal.

If you want a great social life, it’s better to take control of this aspect and find great places to meet new people. I recommend you find private settings like local communities or meet-up clubs around your interests. As a rule of thumb, you need to find places where it’s natural to walk up to a stranger and introduce yourself.

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2. Select The Right People

When you meet someone new and like them, you need to know if they are ready for a new friendship. Some people just have too many friends already, and some are going through a stressful event and can’t find the time to be social.

You’re better off not taking this as rejection; they just don’t have the time to be friends.

If you want to find out if they’re ready for friendship, then try and find out if they’re active socially. You can do that in two ways: first, you can ask where they go out, and second, pay attention to what they’re going through in their life. If someone is about to move, change jobs, get married or have a baby, you can be sure they won’t have time to hang out.

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3. Spot Commonalities With Others

A common mistake people make when meeting new friends is that they focus on how the other person is different from them. They start to point out differences in opinion as a way to show how unique they are. It’s a good thing to be unique, but that should not prevent you from connecting with potential friends.

Instead, you should look for similarities in opinions, habits, goals, and interests. That will give you a little common ground, so you can build a friendship if you want to. You can always argue with them and even tease them once they become your friends.

4 – Show Little Vulnerabilities Early On

This sounds more risky than it really is. If you’re going to be friends with someone, there is a level of trust to establish; both of you have to disclose some things to each other.

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To kick-start a friendship, there is a level of trust that has to be built. Even as you’re just getting to know someone, there is a need for the sense of “we can trust each other.”

You don’t have to reveal big secrets from your life. All you have to do is be a little more open. A rule of thumb is to be 5% more open than usual. When you do that, you can see that the other person will be more inclined to do the same; they too will reveal some vulnerability. These can be weird or funny habits, or quirks each of you have. It plays a great part in the friendship process, but most people aren’t even aware of it.

5 – Show Others That You Like Them

When you first meet someone, you both have to like each other to become friends. This entirely subjective aspect about first encounters shouldn’t scare you. What you can do here is always assume that you’re going to be liked, and that you generally like to meet new people.

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When you hold these two mindsets, you automatically start to behave in a way that signals to other people that you like them, which makes them like you. This is a self-fulfilling prophecy: if they think you like them, they’ll start to like you.

6 – Treat Making Friends As A Skill

The irony here is that the socially successful people never stop learning about friendship and making friends. Socially unsuccessful people, on the other hand, think that it’s something you‘re either born with or not.

It’s true that some of us have learned it very well at a young age. And others, like me, had to figure it all out a little later. Like any other skill, it has principles and techniques that anyone can learn. The good news is that once you start learning, you can only get better.

More by this author

Paul Sanders

A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere.

How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It How To Quietly Build A Social Life

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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