People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
What does it take to be highly motivated? Is it an inborn trait some people have and others don’t? The answer, as you might have suspected, is a resounding “no.” You can teach yourself how to be a more motivated person by copying the behaviors of high achievers. Here are 10 things highly successful, highly motivated people do not do.Advertising
They don’t fly by the seat of their pants.
Highly motivated people are planners. They like spontaneity in small doses; however, they make plans and anticipate bumps that are likely to come along as they go. If you want to follow the path of the highly motivated, then start each day by planning out your action steps. Identify the two of three most important things you want to accomplish every day, then go do them.
They don’t let goals run wild.
I’m all for setting goals. But if your list of goals is so large and unrealistic even Steve Jobs would’ve had trouble tackling them, it’s time to re-evaluate. Write down each of your goals and make sure they’re “SMART”:Advertising
They don’t try and do it all alone.
Highly motivated people lean on their support crew, especially when they’re struggling. Trying to do it all yourself is a common trait of entrepreneurs and go-getters. But the sooner you start asking for help, the easier your life will get.
They don’t take the easy way out.
The easier way isn’t always the best way. Sometimes it’s best to push yourself outside your comfort zone and try an approach that seems a little off-the-wall. That’s what highly motivated people do. They challenge themselves and take every opportunity to learn from those experiences.Advertising
They don’t neglect themselves.
Want to be highly successful? Then start making yourself a priority. Living for others is admirable and virtuous. But at the end of the day, the most important person in your life is you.
They don’t stop learning.
Folks who are highly motivated keep on learning until the day they die. Stuck in a rut and searching for motivation? Then find a book about a topic you’re interested in but know nothing about and dig in. You’ll often find inspiration and motivation in places you least expect it.Advertising
They don’t waste time.
In Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit, he points to research that shows we have a limited capacity for willpower each day. This means if you’re wasting time on meaningless tasks, then you’re less likely to stay motivated. So set a schedule for checking email and Facebook and limit your time watching TV. Then watch as your motivation levels rise and you get more done each day.
They don’t stop believing.
They don’t live with regrets.
We all make mistakes. That’s part of life. But the past is behind you, so leave it there and don’t look back. There’s no point stressing over decisions you made that didn’t pan out the way you wanted. What’s done is done. There’s only the present. So move on and focus your time and energy on living this moment to its fullest.
They don’t go a day without giving thanks.
Perhaps the biggest change in my daily motivation came about when I realized the importance of being grateful. Not just once in a while either‒every single day. Start each day by giving thanks for your life and the lives of those your love most, and you’ll find your levels of motivation soar to levels you never knew they could reach.
Last Updated on April 6, 2020
10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively
Most discussions on positively influencing others eventually touch on Dale Carnegie’s seminal work, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Written more than 83 years ago, the book touches on a core component of human interaction, building strong relationships. It is no wonder why.
Everything that we do hinges on our ability to connect with others and formulate deep relationships. You cannot sell a house, buy a house, advance in most careers, sell a product, pitch a story, teach a course, etc. without building healthy relationships. Managers get the best results from their teams, not through brute force, but to careful appeals to their sensibilities, occasional withdrawals from the reservoir of respect they’ve built. Using these tactics, they can influence others to excellence, to productivity, and to success.
Carnegie’s book is great. Of course, there are other resources too. Most of us have someone in our lives who positively influences us. The truth is positively influencing people is about centering the humanity of others. Chances are, you know someone who is really good at making others feel like stars. They can get you to do things that the average person cannot. Where the requests of others sound like fingernails on a chalkboard, the request from this special person sounds like music to your ears. You’re delighted to not only listen but also to oblige.
So how to influence people in a positive way? Read on for tips.
1. Be Authentic
To influence people in a positive way, be authentic. Rather than being a carbon copy of someone else’s version of authenticity, uncover what it is that makes you unique.
Discover your unique take on an issue and then live up to and honor that. Once of the reasons social media influencers are so powerful is that they have carved out a niche for themselves or taken a common issue and approached it from a novel or uncommon way. People instinctually appreciate people whose public persona matches their private values.
Contradictions bother us because we crave stability. When someone professes to be one way, but lives contrary to that profession, it signals that they are confused or untrustworthy and thereby, inauthentic. Neither of these combinations bode well for positively influencing others.
Growing up, my father would tell me to listen to what others said. He told me if I listened carefully, I would know all I needed to know about a person’s character, desires and needs.
To positively influence others, you must listen to what is spoken and what is left unsaid. Therein lies the explanation for what people need in order to feel validated, supported and seen. If a person feels they are invisible, and unseen by their superiors, they are less likely to be positively influenced by that person.
Listening meets a person’s primary need of validation and acceptance.
Take a look at this guide on how to be a better listener: How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)
3. Become an Expert
Most people are predisposed to listen to, if not respect, authority. If you want to positively influence others, become an authority in the area in which you seek to lead others. Research and read everything you can about the given topic, and then look for opportunities to put your education into practice.
You can argue over opinions. You cannot argue, or it is unwise to argue, over facts and experts come with facts.
4. Lead with Story
From years of working in the public relations space, I know that personal narratives, testimonials and impact stories are incredibly powerful. But I never cease to be amazed with how effective a well-timed and told story can be.
If you want to influence people, learn to tell stories. Your stories should be related to the issue or concept you are discussing. They should be an analogy or metaphor that explains your topic in ordinary terms and in vivid detail. To learn more about how to tell powerful stories, and the ethics of storytelling, take a look at this article: How To Tell An Interesting Story In 4 Simple Steps
5. Lead by Example
It is incredibly inspiring to watch passionate, talented people at work or play. One of the reasons a person who is not an athlete can be in awe of athletic prowess is because human nature appreciates the extraordinary. When we watch the Olympics, Olympic trials, gymnastic competitions, ice skating, and other competitive sports, we can recognize the effort of people who day in and day out give their all. C
ase in point: Simone Biles. The gymnast extraordinaire won her 6TH all-around title at the U.S. Gymnastics Championships after doing a triple double. She was the first woman to do so. Watching her gave me chills. Even non-gymnasts and non-competitive athletes can appreciate the talent required to pull off such a remarkable feat.
We celebrate remarkable accomplishments and believe that their example is proof that we too can accomplish something great, even if it isn’t qualifying for the Olympics. To influence people in a positive way, we must lead by example, lead with intention and execute with excellence.
6. Catch People Doing Good
A powerful way to influence people in a positive way is to catch people doing good. Instead of looking for problems, look for successes. Look for often overlooked, but critically important things that your peers, subordinates and managers do that make the work more effective and more enjoyable.
Once you catch people doing good, name and notice their contributions.
7. Be Effusive with Praise
It did not take me long to notice a remarkable trait of a former boss. He not only began and ended meetings with praise, but he peppered praise throughout the entire meeting. He found a way to celebrate the unique attributes and skills of his team members. He was able to quickly and accurately assess what people were doing well and then let them and their colleagues know.
Meetings were not just an occasion to go through a “To Do” list, they were opportunities to celebrate accomplishments, no matter how small they are.
8. Be Kind Rather Than Right
I am going to level with you; this one is tough. It is easy to get caught up in a cycle of proving oneself. For people who lack confidence, or people who prioritize the opinions of others, being right is important. The validation that comes with being perceived as “right” feeds one’s ego. But in the quest to be “right,” we can hurt other people. Once we’ve hurt someone by being unkind, it is much harder to get them to listen to what we’re trying to influence them to do.
The antidote to influencing others via bullying is to prioritize kindness above rightness. You can be kind and still stand firm in your position. For instance, many people think that they need others to validate their experience. If a person does not see the situation you experienced in the way you see it, you get upset. But your experience is your experience.
If you and your friends go out to eat and you get food poisoning, you do not need your friends to agree that the food served at the restaurant was problematic for you. Your own experience of getting food poisoning is all the validation you need. Therefore, taking time to be right is essentially wasted and, if you were unkind in seeking validation for your food-poison experience, now you’ve really lost points.
9. Understand a Person’s Logical, Emotional and Cooperative Needs
The Center for Creative Leadership has argued that the best way to influence others is to appeal to their logical, emotional and cooperative needs. Their logical need is their rational and educational need. Their emotional need is the information that touches them in a deeply personal manner. The cooperative need is understanding the level of cooperation various individuals need and then appropriately offering it.
The trick with this system is to understand that different people need different things. For some people, a strong emotional appeal will outweigh logical explanations. For others, having an opportunity to collaborate will override emotional connection.
If you know your audience, you will know what they need in order to be positively influenced. If you have limited information about the people whom you are attempting to influence, you will be ineffective.
10. Understand Your Lane
If you want to positively influence others, operate from your sphere of influence. Operate from your place of expertise. Leave everything else to others. Gone are the days when being a jack of all trades is celebrated.
Most people appreciate brands that understand their target audience and then deliver on what that audience wants. When you focus on what you are uniquely gifted and qualified to do, and then offer that gift to the people who need it, you are likely more effective. This effectiveness is attractive.
You cannot positively influence others if you are more preoccupied by what others do well versus what you do well.
Influencing people is about centering your humanity. If you want to influence others positively, focus on the way you communicate and improve the relationship with yourself first.
It’s hard to influence others if you’re still trying to figure out how to communicate with yourself.
More Tips About Making Influence
- 20 Powerful Books to Win You Friends and Influence More People
- How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship
- Leadership vs Management: Is One Better Than the Other?
Featured photo credit: Wonderlane via unsplash.com