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7 Common Mistakes That Stop You From Reaching Your Life Goals

7 Common Mistakes That Stop You From Reaching Your Life Goals

David Foster Wallace once said, “The most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about.” That’s the first mistake most of us make with life goals: we don’t talk about them. That’s not to say you don’t have a general idea or even a grand vision for how you see your life unfolding. But so many of us tend to get lost in the daily shuffle of life and wait and hope that things will get better. We choose to rest on our laurels instead of taking action to identify and learn from our missteps.

Here are 7 common mistakes that may be stopping you from reaching your life goals. And more importantly, how to fix it if you find yourself making any of these mistakes.

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You pursue too many goals at once.

Setting your sights high is a good thing in most cases. But when it comes to setting life goals, there is such a thing as “too much.” Having too many life goals can muddle your focus and prevent you from accomplishing what you want to achieve. So here’s some advice. Keep it simple. Create one or two life goals for each area of your life that’s important to you (family, health, career, etc.).

You set unachievable, unrealistic life goals.

Here’s another common mistake people make: setting goals that are completely unrealistic. That’s not to say you shouldn’t set lofty, ambitious goals. But do it within reason. Saying “I want to be a billionaire” will probably result in disappointment down the road. Set goals that you honestly believe you can achieve in your lifetime. And don’t focus so much on material things. What would you rather have: a spouse who is your best friend and children who grow up and make the world a better place… or to be a multi-millionaire with no friends and family? Set your goals based on the people and things you value most in life.

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You only dream about the outcome.

If you only focus on what’s at the end of the road, you’re likely to miss all the amazing things that happen on the way there. In other words, along the path toward achieving each of your goals is a magnificent journey. And it’s often the journey that’s the most fulfilling part. Blink, and you may miss it. So don’t be so focused on the end result. Instead, be consciously aware of those little moments along the way that make you laugh and smile.

You focus too much on the past.

We often get mentally stuck on things and events that happened in the past. But here’s the thing: life becomes infinitely more enjoyable when you realize you have the ability to dream, wonder, create, build, transform and love… right now at this very instant. Leave the past behind you and focus on the present. The fact that you’re alive and breathing is a miracle in itself. So embrace the here and now, and leave yesterday behind. You don’t need it.

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You cultivate negative thoughts instead of positive ones.

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice. Every achievement and every failure in your life is the direct result of your thoughts. Belief in yourself is the single most important factor in reaching your life goals and achieving true happiness. So look up at the stars instead of down at your feet.

You keep doing the same things over and over.

Change is the ONLY thing that’s constant in life. If you’re stuck in a rut, it may be because you keep trying things that aren’t working. Yes, you’re probably working hard as hell. But ask yourself the tough question: is this producing the results I’m looking for? If not, it may be time to go in another direction. Reaching your life goals is about constantly testing, adapting, and changing until you find the best way to make your life better.

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You don’t create an action plan to achieve your goals.

Too many of us focus on tactics and tips rather than creating a specific action plan. The truth is, I can give you a list of mistakes and tips, but unless you create an action plan to get you where you want to be, you will find yourself in the same situation time and time again. Here’s how you do it: break down each of your life goals into manageable milestones that you’d like to accomplish each year, each month, and each week. If this sounds like it’s a lot of work, you’re right, it is. But in the words of Antoine de Saint-Exupery, “a goal without a plan is just a wish.” So set your goals today and start working on your action plan for how you’re going to get there. Then sit back and enjoy the ride.

More by this author

Scott Christ

Scott Christ is a writer, entrepreneur, and founder of Pure Food Company.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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