Advertising
Advertising

7 Common Mistakes That Stop You From Reaching Your Life Goals

7 Common Mistakes That Stop You From Reaching Your Life Goals

David Foster Wallace once said, “The most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about.” That’s the first mistake most of us make with life goals: we don’t talk about them. That’s not to say you don’t have a general idea or even a grand vision for how you see your life unfolding. But so many of us tend to get lost in the daily shuffle of life and wait and hope that things will get better. We choose to rest on our laurels instead of taking action to identify and learn from our missteps.

Here are 7 common mistakes that may be stopping you from reaching your life goals. And more importantly, how to fix it if you find yourself making any of these mistakes.

Advertising

You pursue too many goals at once.

Setting your sights high is a good thing in most cases. But when it comes to setting life goals, there is such a thing as “too much.” Having too many life goals can muddle your focus and prevent you from accomplishing what you want to achieve. So here’s some advice. Keep it simple. Create one or two life goals for each area of your life that’s important to you (family, health, career, etc.).

You set unachievable, unrealistic life goals.

Here’s another common mistake people make: setting goals that are completely unrealistic. That’s not to say you shouldn’t set lofty, ambitious goals. But do it within reason. Saying “I want to be a billionaire” will probably result in disappointment down the road. Set goals that you honestly believe you can achieve in your lifetime. And don’t focus so much on material things. What would you rather have: a spouse who is your best friend and children who grow up and make the world a better place… or to be a multi-millionaire with no friends and family? Set your goals based on the people and things you value most in life.

Advertising

You only dream about the outcome.

If you only focus on what’s at the end of the road, you’re likely to miss all the amazing things that happen on the way there. In other words, along the path toward achieving each of your goals is a magnificent journey. And it’s often the journey that’s the most fulfilling part. Blink, and you may miss it. So don’t be so focused on the end result. Instead, be consciously aware of those little moments along the way that make you laugh and smile.

You focus too much on the past.

We often get mentally stuck on things and events that happened in the past. But here’s the thing: life becomes infinitely more enjoyable when you realize you have the ability to dream, wonder, create, build, transform and love… right now at this very instant. Leave the past behind you and focus on the present. The fact that you’re alive and breathing is a miracle in itself. So embrace the here and now, and leave yesterday behind. You don’t need it.

Advertising

You cultivate negative thoughts instead of positive ones.

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice. Every achievement and every failure in your life is the direct result of your thoughts. Belief in yourself is the single most important factor in reaching your life goals and achieving true happiness. So look up at the stars instead of down at your feet.

You keep doing the same things over and over.

Change is the ONLY thing that’s constant in life. If you’re stuck in a rut, it may be because you keep trying things that aren’t working. Yes, you’re probably working hard as hell. But ask yourself the tough question: is this producing the results I’m looking for? If not, it may be time to go in another direction. Reaching your life goals is about constantly testing, adapting, and changing until you find the best way to make your life better.

Advertising

You don’t create an action plan to achieve your goals.

Too many of us focus on tactics and tips rather than creating a specific action plan. The truth is, I can give you a list of mistakes and tips, but unless you create an action plan to get you where you want to be, you will find yourself in the same situation time and time again. Here’s how you do it: break down each of your life goals into manageable milestones that you’d like to accomplish each year, each month, and each week. If this sounds like it’s a lot of work, you’re right, it is. But in the words of Antoine de Saint-Exupery, “a goal without a plan is just a wish.” So set your goals today and start working on your action plan for how you’re going to get there. Then sit back and enjoy the ride.

More by this author

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life 12 Proven Ways To Speed Up Muscle Recovery This is the Best Diet (According to Science) 10 Things To Do When You Feel Down 20 Things Highly Successful People Don’t Do

Trending in Communication

1 What Is Your Destiny in Life? How to Mindfully Achieve Your Purpose 2 7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck 3 10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your Life Forever 4 Meditation Can Change Your Life: The Power of Mindfulness 5 Understand Your Love Style & Learn to Love: Co Dependent Relationship

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

Advertising

When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

Advertising

I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

Advertising

No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

Advertising

If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

Read Next