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10 Practical Ways To Dealing With Difficult People Anywhere

10 Practical Ways To Dealing With Difficult People Anywhere

Whether you’re dealing with a rude customer, an unfair neighbor, or a demanding boss, it can be hard to know how to deal with difficult people. Here are some strategies you can employ to reduce your stress and increase the likelihood that you’ll leave the situation feeling okay.

1. Listen to What They Have to Say

Often, a willingness to listen can go a long way when you’re wondering how to deal with difficult people. Allow difficult people to share their opinion. Show that you’re willing to listen by making eye contact, asking questions, and showing an interest in what they have to say.

2. Place a Time Limit on How Long They Can Vent

Listening, however, doesn’t mean you have to listen for hours on end. Instead, place a time limit on how long you’re willing to listen to difficult people vent. Allowing them to repeat themselves over and over isn’t likely to be helpful in diffusing the situation.

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Make it clear that you’ve heard what they have to say and that you don’t want to be subjected to hearing all their complaints over and over. Instead, try to move the conversation forward in a direct, yet polite manner.

3. Don’t Simply Agree with Everything They Say

Don’t simply nod in agreement to everything difficult people say. Otherwise, they’ll think you’re on the same page. Instead, be willing to say that you disagree, but do so in a respectful manner.

4. Speak Up to Share Your Point of View

It’s important to speak up at a fairly early point in the conversation to make it clear that you share a different point of view. Avoid interrupting, but instead, find a break in the conversation to say, “This is the way I see it.” Then explain your point.

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5. Stick to the Facts

Learning how to deal with difficult people often means sticking to the facts. Avoid saying subjective things such as, “You shouldn’t have…” or “That was way out of line.” Instead, state the facts and remain as objective as possible about the order of events.

6. Work the Solution

Avoid focusing on the problem for too long. There’s no need to place blame, rehash over and over why it was wrong, or just repeatedly point out the negative. Take responsibility for your behavior and then direct the conversation toward a solution.

Suggest several possible ways to solve the problem. Invite difficult people to do the same. Try to look for a solution that everyone can agree on.

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7. Behave Respectfully

No matter how difficult the conversation gets, maintain respectful behavior at all times. You can’t control how the other person behaves or reacts, but you can control your own behavior. Leave the conversation being able to hold your head high, knowing you conducted yourself in the most professional manner possible.

8. Agree to Disagree

Sometimes you won’t be able to agree on a solution and it makes sense to simply agree to disagree. If you’re both on opposite sides of the fence and neither of you are interested in changing your minds, there’s no need to waste time trying to convince one another to think differently.

9. Don’t Cave to Every Demand

Just because difficult people become demanding or aggressive, doesn’t mean you need to do what they say. In fact, giving in can reinforce their tactics. Be willing to say no when difficult people make unreasonable demands.

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10. End the Conversation if Necessary

If the conversation gets ugly, be prepared to end it. Don’t allow someone to become threatening or verbally abusive. Instead, make it clear you aren’t willing to hold conversations with people who treat you in a disrespectful manner.

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Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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