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Published on July 13, 2020

3 Hidden Reasons Why You Fail at What You Do

3 Hidden Reasons Why You Fail at What You Do

Why do I fail at everything? If you’ve ever asked yourself this question, join the club!

Failure is a normal part of life. It comes with the territory of being a human being on planet Earth.

Think about something in your life that you really want to accomplish but haven’t yet been able to achieve. We’ve all failed at something in our lives. However, some people are better at failing than others.

The problem is that we live in a world where success is put on a pedestal, while failure is looked down upon. The line of thinking is that if you’ve failed, there must be something wrong with you.

This is so far from true. Failing at one thing doesn’t mean that your entire life is one big failure. The only true failure in life is when you stop trying.

Failure Is a Precursor for Success

Success isn’t built on success. Rather, success is built on failures. The more you learn what doesn’t work, the closer you get to figuring out what does.

In effect, messing up makes you a smarter and wiser person. Research has found that experiencing failure leads to richer mental models than experiencing success does[1].

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The most successful people in this world have failed massively. In actuality, they fail more than they succeed.

As Michael Jordan famously said:

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

The only way to change what isn’t working in your life is to get to the truth. This can be painful for a lot of people. It requires that you drop your excuses. Nobody wants to come face-to-face with their mess, but it’s necessary if you want to level-up your life.

I am a firm believer that the truth will always set you free, even when it makes you feel uncomfortable.

When you know the reasons why you’re failing time and time again, you will be empowered to do something different. This is the moment at which you can start turning your failure into a powerful plan of action.

3 Reasons Why You Fail at What You Do

Failure can be the result of many different factors, but here are three of the most common impediments to success.

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1. You Aren’t Taking Responsibility for Your Life

If you want to fix any problem in your life, you have to be willing to own it. Yes, life can be unfair. I know how tempting it can be to blame others or the world for your problems. However, that mindset won’t get you anywhere.

You cannot be the driver of your life and the CEO of your mind if you are constantly deflecting blame elsewhere. This is the fastest way to lose your power. You will continue to fail in life if you don’t take responsibility for what happens to you.

Drop the excuses and take ownership of every action you take and every thought you think. If you can do that, I promise that you will start thriving.

Part of the power of taking responsibility for your actions is that you silence the negative, unhelpful voice in your head[2]. When you do this, you have more mental space to think empowering thoughts about success instead of disempowering thoughts about failure.

2. You Don’t Believe in Yourself Enough

Belief is the foundation of everything in life. The most mind-blowing achievements would never have transpired without the belief that they were possible.

If you don’t believe in yourself, you will only sabotage your efforts and continue to come up short. The act of failing will affirm your limiting belief that you’re a failure and not deserving of success, and the cycle of destructive thinking will continue.

This is why it’s so important that you become an active observer of your thoughts and start to identify the core beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

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Core beliefs capture our fundamental view of the world, other people, and ourselves. Some common limiting beliefs include, “I’m a failure,” “I’m not enough,” or “I don’t deserve success”[3].

Question every single thought that you have. Once you become aware that you are separate from the voice inside of your head, your negative thoughts will grow weaker and weaker, and your self-belief will grow stronger and stronger.

If you find this particularly difficult, try starting a meditation practice to make space in your mind for positivity.

3. You Give up Too Quickly

Nothing of value in life comes easy. Every day there are people in this world who do the impossible. Have you ever wondered why this happens? Simple. These people don’t give up.

Even when all of the cards are stacked against them, they persevere. If you give up the moment that you encounter a challenge, you’ve adopted a dabbler mentality. The dabbler always fails.

This is someone who never finishes what they start. They jump from one thing to the next in hopes that things will be easier. Not surprisingly, they encounter the same reality.

Conversely, the master is someone who commits to everything. If this person can’t find a way, he or she creates a way. These types of people turn every failure into an opportunity for growth.

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You will fail. That’s a guarantee. All that matters is how you react when you do. The next time you feel like giving up, I want you to think about why you started in the first place.

I am going to bet that you have invested too much time, energy, and sacrifices to throw in the towel so easily. If you keep going and never stop fighting for your dreams, I promise that your future self will thank you for it.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I fail at everything?” reflect on the above reasons.

The only person that is standing in the way of your success is you. If you want to be successful, you have to get comfortable with failure.

Even more, you have to seek out failure because this is where you will find life’s greatest lessons. Extract those lessons and use your pain as motivation.

In the words of the late, great, Maya Angelou:

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

Are you ready to rise above your failures and step into your power?

More Tips on Overcoming Failure

Featured photo credit: DANNY G via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Ashley Elizabeth

Resilience Mastery Coach and Motivational Speaker

How to Train Your Brain to Be Optimistic 3 Hidden Reasons Why You Fail at What You Do 13 Things You Can Do to Build Emotional Resilience What Motivates You to Succeed in Life? 5 Powerful Tips for Overcoming Adversity

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Last Updated on August 7, 2020

40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place

40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” — Jane Goodall

So, you want to change the world? Who says you can’t?

You’ve had the power this whole time. You just have to tap into it and embrace the ways you make changes.

You can start small or go big. The important thing is that you try. Even in little ways, we can change the world. It’s up to you to show up and make that difference.

Here are 40 acts of kindness to make the world a better place.

1. Give a Compliment

Tell someone that you care about them by complimenting them. It can be a big compliment or a small one. The point is that you share what good you see in them. That will help them develop confidence and a stronger sense of self.

2. Volunteer

There’re many reasons why doing voluntary work is good for you. Find a good cause you care about and give your time to it. Serve in some way. Volunteering transforms your hard work into other people’s happiness. This is one of the most common acts of kindness that you can do.

3. Contribute to a Charity

Similarly, charities also contribute to other people’s happiness even with minimal effort from you. If you can’t serve a charity or nonprofit, you can give financially or even raise money with a fundraiser. Volunteering and contributing to charity are acts of kindness that require sacrifice but are definitely worth it.

4. Visit Someone

People may know you care but are you present with them? It’s best to give your time to those you care about and show them that they matter to you. Go and visit them while you can. This simple act of kindness can go a long way.

5. Listen

When someone talks, are you really listening? A person will feel like you are listening if you actively respond and can repeat back what they’ve said, asking questions to further probe their problems. Regardless if you’re actively or passively listening, listening has positive effects on others, which is a step towards making the world a better place.

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6. Show Empathy

Show empathy – feel what someone else is feeling. Put yourself in their place. They may need that, and this shows that you understand what they are going through, which can help make them feel better. Showing empathy is one of the simplest yet best ways acts of kindness can manifest.

7. Point out the Positive for Someone

Not everyone can see the positive side of things, especially if they are going through very rough times. It may make their day though if you show it to them. Then, they can enjoy it, too.

8. Help Someone With Something

Do you have some skills to offer? Do you have the ability to help out? It doesn’t matter how you can help, just find some way to be of use to someone. You never know how doing so might find its way back to you. Ask how you may be of help, and it just might make someone’s day a lot better.

9. Give Input or Advice

Someone may benefit from what you know. You may have the experience that they don’t have. When you give input about something using your expertise (whether a little or a lot), you are more appreciated for doing so. Valid criticisms and feedback are always welcome, and they may even help others improve their situation.

10. Lead Others

You may now know it, but people may be looking to you as an example of what to do. You can lead them from point A to point B, maybe because you’ve gotten there yourself or because they trust you. Regardless, leading others is one of the best acts of kindness that you can do for others.

11. Promote Someone

Show off someone’s skills and their value. This will make them feel good enough as well as touched by this act of kindness. Promoting someone not only benefits them economically or financially, but it also helps them mentally and emotionally, knowing that you believe in them.

12. Solve a Problem for Someone

You don’t have to have all the answers. But if you have solved a problem for someone, they will look at you as if you do. That’s rewarding in and of itself.

13. Tell Someone That They Matter

People don’t always know their worth. Some people don’t recognize that they and what they do matter to others. If you tell them that they are worthwhile, they will feel better and be able to do better. They will look to you for strength at first, then to themselves.

14. Teach Someone a New Skill

You don’t have to be a teacher to share your knowledge. If you teach someone a new skill, they will spread the knowledge and your influence may extend to more people. This is a simple yet effective act of kindness that can help improve the world.

15. Plant a Tree, Clean up Trash, Recycle, Get Educated

Even in simple ways, taking care of the environment is important in making the world a better place. You must care about nature and its value. We are connected to nature, and nature is a big part of our world.

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16. Start a New Initiative Toward Social Good

You may not be the only one interested in an idea, but you may be the first to act on it. Lead others towards this initiative and see the goodness spread. Any initiative that benefits society will benefit the whole world.

17. Analyze if Products Are Ethical

In the current consumer culture, we often want instant gratification. But that’s not always safe or effective. We must look into the ethical practices behind the products we consume. Our consumption should be consistent with what we stand for, and we should spread the message to gain greater awareness of the right kind of products.

18. Ask Questions

This is called being considerate. When you ask someone a question, you are showing interest in and building their confidence to talk about themselves.

19. Make a New Friend

We can’t have a list of acts of kindness without including this one. Everyone needs friends. We must hold onto each other not hurt each other. Having friends means we’re no longer alone. You can share more and do more when you have a friend.

20. Positive Reinforcement

Rather than just criticizing someone for what they did wrong, praise and reward good behavior, too. This is especially useful when dealing with kids or in the workplace. Learn the benefits of positive reinforcement: Positive and Negative Reinforcement: Which Is More Effective?

21. Be Honest

This may just be a simple act of kindness, but people will feel respected if you are honest with them. It may not solve everything, but it helps them know you are trustworthy and that you care about them.

22. Give Your Time

Giving your time to help others shows them that you will be there for them no matter what. Your time is the most valuable thing that you can give, and this can encourage them to give their time to others as well.

23. Be Accountable

If you make a mistake, that’s okay. No one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes. But be accountable and try to make things better. This will let others know that they can rely on you.

24. Learn

Learn from someone. Listen to someone’s story, learn how someone does something, and be teachable. We can’t learn everything, so there will always be something new for us to learn.

25. Love

Love makes the world go round. Love is the ultimate manifestation of kindness. And when you love someone, let them know it. Let them feel that you are in their life for the right reasons and that you want to be there for them.

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26. Stand for Something

Society has many problems, and there are many causes to choose from. Find something you are passionate about such as a social justice issue, environment, animals, etc. The list goes on. What’s important is that you show conviction toward a good cause.

27. Write a Note of Encouragement

A nice note can turn someone’s day around. As long as what you wrote is from the heart, the recipient will feel that it is and will feel better than before.

28. Say “Thank you”

Saying “thank you” is often taken for granted. Such an act of kindness is often overlooked, but it’s still as important as before. Saying “thank you” is how you can make some feel appreciated and supported.

Here’re 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life.

29. Heal Someone

If you can heal someone, you can make the world a better place. You can heal them emotionally, physically, or spiritually and if you heal them, they will never forget it. You will feel healed in your heart, too.

30. Be an Advocate

Stand up for someone or something. Sometimes, it’s not easy to do the right thing, but if you want to show that you care, you have to put a stop to any form of injustice. You may be the only one to take that stand. Know that it matters.

31. Raise Someone

Raising a human being is just one contribution that you can make in the world. This may be more complicated than the other acts of kindness, but it’s just as impactful. You can leave a legacy on the person who grows up under your care.

32. Embrace Community

“No man is an island.” It’s a common saying but it speaks the truth. We are meant to be social beings in need of each other. That is why we have communities. You can help a community flourish through what you bring to the table.

33. Hold Space for Someone

This means having no judgment. It is unconditional care and support without trying to solve someone else’s problems. It may be kinder than talking over them or taking over. Let them be, and let them know you’re there.

34. Forgive

Grudges hold us back. Second chances give us more life. It’s not just for them, it’s for us. When the situation is appropriate, be the bigger person and you will have a better life. Forgiveness may not come easy, but you’ll find that it transforms everything it touches.

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Learn How to Forgive and Live a Happy Life Again (A Step-By-Step Guide).

35. Give a Gift

If you give a gift, someone will have something that makes them think of you. They also learn that they are deserving of kindness, and they may feel good about themselves.

36. Keep Your Promises

People look to you for consistency. They want to know that they can count on you. Show them they can by keeping your promises.

37. Just Be Nice

Other acts of kindness require more effort, but you can just be nice and this will contribute to having a better world. The important thing is to always be aware of your words and actions.

38. Make Others a Priority

When was the last time you checked in with someone else and their wellbeing? How high up the list do you put them? Make them a priority and show them that they are being heard.

39. Meet Someone Where They’re at

You may not understand someone’s point of view or see a lack of experience compared to your own. But you can still meet them where they are and how they are still important to you. Find ways to use this to teach them how to be better. Find grace, patience, and understanding.

40. Save a Life

If someone’s in need and you answer the call, that simple act can change everything. Sometimes, the little things we do can already save or change the lives of others. Make the world a better place by saving those within it. This is the greatest thing you can do with all your talents, money, and time.

Final Thoughts

Can you think of more ways to make the world a better place? Then do it. Invite others to do it with you, too. This will change the world, but it will also change you. You will become happier and healthier to have done so.

Use this list anytime you need a good idea or a simple reminder of what you can do. No matter what you do, you are a hero. How you live is your legacy.

Featured photo credit: Andrea Tummons via unsplash.com

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