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Last Updated on December 1, 2020

3 Hidden Reasons Why You Fail at What You Do

3 Hidden Reasons Why You Fail at What You Do
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Why do I fail at everything? If you’ve ever asked yourself this question, join the club!

Failure is a normal part of life. It comes with the territory of being a human being on planet Earth.

Think about something in your life that you really want to accomplish but haven’t yet been able to achieve. We’ve all failed at something in our lives. However, some people are better at failing than others.

The problem is that we live in a world where success is put on a pedestal, while failure is looked down upon. The line of thinking is that if you’ve failed, there must be something wrong with you.

This is so far from true. Failing at one thing doesn’t mean that your entire life is one big failure. The only true failure in life is when you stop trying.

Failure Is a Precursor for Success

Success isn’t built on success. Rather, success is built on failures. The more you learn what doesn’t work, the closer you get to figuring out what does.

In effect, messing up makes you a smarter and wiser person. Research has found that experiencing failure leads to richer mental models than experiencing success does[1].

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The most successful people in this world have failed massively. In actuality, they fail more than they succeed.

As Michael Jordan famously said:

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

The only way to change what isn’t working in your life is to get to the truth. This can be painful for a lot of people. It requires that you drop your excuses. Nobody wants to come face-to-face with their mess, but it’s necessary if you want to level-up your life.

I am a firm believer that the truth will always set you free, even when it makes you feel uncomfortable.

When you know the reasons why you’re failing time and time again, you will be empowered to do something different. This is the moment at which you can start turning your failure into a powerful plan of action.

3 Reasons Why You Fail at What You Do

Failure can be the result of many different factors, but here are three of the most common impediments to success.

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1. You Aren’t Taking Responsibility for Your Life

If you want to fix any problem in your life, you have to be willing to own it. Yes, life can be unfair. I know how tempting it can be to blame others or the world for your problems. However, that mindset won’t get you anywhere.

You cannot be the driver of your life and the CEO of your mind if you are constantly deflecting blame elsewhere. This is the fastest way to lose your power. You will continue to fail in life if you don’t take responsibility for what happens to you.

Drop the excuses and take ownership of every action you take and every thought you think. If you can do that, I promise that you will start thriving.

Part of the power of taking responsibility for your actions is that you silence the negative, unhelpful voice in your head[2]. When you do this, you have more mental space to think empowering thoughts about success instead of disempowering thoughts about failure.

2. You Don’t Believe in Yourself Enough

Belief is the foundation of everything in life. The most mind-blowing achievements would never have transpired without the belief that they were possible.

If you don’t believe in yourself, you will only sabotage your efforts and continue to come up short. The act of failing will affirm your limiting belief that you’re a failure and not deserving of success, and the cycle of destructive thinking will continue.

This is why it’s so important that you become an active observer of your thoughts and start to identify the core beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

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Core beliefs capture our fundamental view of the world, other people, and ourselves. Some common limiting beliefs include, “I’m a failure,” “I’m not enough,” or “I don’t deserve success”[3].

Question every single thought that you have. Once you become aware that you are separate from the voice inside of your head, your negative thoughts will grow weaker and weaker, and your self-belief will grow stronger and stronger.

If you find this particularly difficult, try starting a meditation practice to make space in your mind for positivity.

3. You Give up Too Quickly

Nothing of value in life comes easy. Every day there are people in this world who do the impossible. Have you ever wondered why this happens? Simple. These people don’t give up.

Even when all of the cards are stacked against them, they persevere. If you give up the moment that you encounter a challenge, you’ve adopted a dabbler mentality. The dabbler always fails.

This is someone who never finishes what they start. They jump from one thing to the next in hopes that things will be easier. Not surprisingly, they encounter the same reality.

Conversely, the master is someone who commits to everything. If this person can’t find a way, he or she creates a way. These types of people turn every failure into an opportunity for growth.

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You will fail. That’s a guarantee. All that matters is how you react when you do. The next time you feel like giving up, I want you to think about why you started in the first place.

I am going to bet that you have invested too much time, energy, and sacrifices to throw in the towel so easily. If you keep going and never stop fighting for your dreams, I promise that your future self will thank you for it.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I fail at everything?” reflect on the above reasons.

The only person that is standing in the way of your success is you. If you want to be successful, you have to get comfortable with failure.

Even more, you have to seek out failure because this is where you will find life’s greatest lessons. Extract those lessons and use your pain as motivation.

In the words of the late, great, Maya Angelou:

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

Are you ready to rise above your failures and step into your power?

More Tips on Overcoming Failure

Featured photo credit: DANNY G via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Ashley Elizabeth

Resilience Mastery Coach and Motivational Speaker

How Successful Women Shake Up and Redefine the Workplace 4 Signs You Have a Victim Mentality (And How to Break out of It) How to Overcome Fear and Find Success (The Ultimate Guide) What Motivates You to Succeed in Life and Keep Moving Forward? 5 Reasons Why Keeping a Mood Journal Is Good For Your Mental Health

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd

17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd
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If you are like most people, you probably have big goals and dreams that you would like to succeed in — you want to be the top in your career, live a healthy lifestyle, or flourish in your relationships.

Everyone dreams of a positive future, but most people don’t realize the secret to a truly successful life:

You determine your future in the way you spend your everyday moments. If you want to be a successful person, you must consistently develop good daily habits. As Aristotle pointed out:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”.

Building positive daily habits is a huge challenge, but can you imagine the amazing things you could accomplish with just a little commitment and determination?

Creating lasting, healthy habits is the real key difference between people who are successful in life and those who are unsuccessful.

You might be wondering which specific habits make the biggest difference. Not to worry, I’ve compiled a comparison list to help you get a jump start on a successful future.

1. Successful people embrace change. Unsuccessful people fear change.

Change is a constant for all of humanity, and it is important that you develop a positive relationship with it.

When unexpected or unwelcome changes arise, ask yourself how you can embrace it instead of running away. A few practical ways to reverse a change-fearing mindset include:

  • Take a moment to recognize and address any fears associated with the upcoming change.
  • Communicate with a person you trust about your negative feelings toward change.
  • Practice positive thinking, which you can read about in the next section.

2. Successful people exude joy. Unsuccessful people think, say and do negative things.

A joyful, positive disposition can seem like a distant reality in today’s cynical world, but it may be easier to achieve than you think. All you have to do is notice the good things around you and practice being thankful.

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Mindfulness and gratitude are not just buzz words – choosing a positive attitude can honestly change your life. Many studies have found that thankfulness leads to greater happiness. Furthermore, research indicates that gratitude may even have a lasting positive impact on the brain and overall mental health.[1]

3. Successful people forgive others. Unsuccessful people hold grudges.

As a human being, you have likely been offended or hurt by others plenty of times. Don’t give in to the temptation to hold a grudge. Let it go.

Note that forgiving someone does not equate to giving up your boundaries (which are very important) or even admitting that the offending party is right. You should choose to let go for your own peace of mind.

4. Successful people track progress. Unsuccessful people just criticize.

Some kinds of criticism, such as constructive criticism, are good for personal and professional development. The kind of criticism I’m talking about is the pessimistic, nagging, unhelpful variety. This is the kind of criticism in play when you are unfairly harsh to yourself or others.

Toss unfounded criticisms aside and consider tracking your “wins” or your progresses, no matter how small. Take mental notes or keep a progress journal.

If you have a solid sense of what you have achieved, you will be less tempted to be hard on yourself.

5. Successful people share information, data and ideas. Unsuccessful people hoard.

If you have useful information or generate brilliant ideas on the regular, your first instinct may be to keep it all to yourself for personal gain and solo recognition.

Instead of hoarding bright ideas, share them with your team. Your talents will be on display for the team, and the team will be able to support you and make your ideas a reality.

6. Successful people are humble. Unsuccessful people talk more than they listen.

Humility is key. The ability to listen to other people, really listen and understand, is essential to success in both work and relationships — and to listen you have to be humble.

Everyone has experienced the frustration of being in a one-sided conversation. When someone approaches you with a question or concern, put your own world aside for just a moment and give them the kindness of your full attention.

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7. Successful people take risks. Unsuccessful people take the easy way out.

The next time your heart is racing and you want to walk away, consider embracing the risk. You never know what might happen if you take a chance.

Embracing risks looks like accepting the speaking engagement even though it seems a little scary. Success takes the courageous route, not the easy route.

8. Successful people learn, improve and read every day. Unsuccessful people stop learning.

Instead of binge-watching a show tonight, save an hour before bed to read a book and expand your mind.

Unsuccessful people are afraid to be flexible – they don’t challenge themselves to learn new things. Avoid this pitfall by exposing yourself to new thoughts and ideas every day.

9. Successful people handle problems well. Unsuccessful people act before they think.

The next time you run into a problem or even an emergency, try to work through your initial panic reaction with a few deep breaths.

Instead of acting rashly, think through your next actions as quickly but as logically as you can.

Learning to handle problems thoughtfully is an absolutely essential tool in the successful person’s toolbox (that’s you!).

10. Successful people accept responsibility for their failures. Unsuccessful people blame others.

Along with a previous tip about humility, this is one of the hardest things you’ll ever learn to do – but also the most rewarding. When you’ve failed, you must fight the urge to pass the blame. Successful people are able to fail honestly and gracefully.

And, hey, don’t feel bad about failing. Some of the most successful people in the world have failed too many times to count. It’s all a part of the process.

You can check out this article for more tips on how to fail well:

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How Failure Helps You To Succeed and Grow

11. Successful people work with passion and commitment. Unsuccessful people have a sense of entitlement.

A short and sweet lesson for you:

You should never expect to achieve the things you want without working hard.

Follow your passion and stay committed to pursuing it. Work hard and stick to your habits every day. You’ll earn your reward.

12. Successful people spend time with the right people. Unsuccessful people think they already know it all.

A lot of people miss out on useful relationships and information sharing because they think they can do it all alone.

Spend time with people who inspire you, spur you to be a better person, and remind you that you can’t go it alone.

13. Successful people make to-do lists and maintain proper life balance. Unsuccessful people waste their time.

Ah, time management. Unsuccessful people never master the art of organization and planning.

Here are a few tips for you when it comes to time management:

  • Make to-do lists. Seriously, this will help you. Make time to do it every morning, evening, or whenever you are able.
  • Keep track of your time. Are you happy with the way you are currently balancing things? What changes can you make?
  • Keep a calendar full of your long-term goals (see next tip).

14. Successful people write down goals and think long term about their burning desires. Unsuccessful people get distracted every day.

Why is it so important to keep a long-term goal calendar? Here’s the deal:

The things you are passionate about today need a backbone.

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Give your passionate ideas sustainability by writing down goals and staying on task instead of succumbing to distraction.

15. Successful people compliment others. Unsuccessful people try to bring others down to their level.

There is no greater confidence than saying “no” to sudden jealous or envious feelings and choosing to sincerely admire someone’s talents instead.

Unsuccessful people live in a world driven by competition, but successful people know that building people up is far more rewarding than bringing them down.

16. Successful people want others to succeed. Unsuccessful people secretly hope they fail.

In the same vein as the point above, this tip is all about good intentions.

Care for the people around you. Encourage them toward their successes. Hoping that others fail will not help you at all.

17. Successful people know their purpose and mission. Unsuccessful people don’t know what they want to be.

The last thing that differentiates successful people from unsuccessful people is one of the most important:

Keep your mission in mind.

Don’t be swayed to and fro by passing emotions and events. Know who you are and pursue your dreams wholeheartedly.

Final thoughts

Above all, stay confident. Truly believe that you can be and are successful. Strive to prove it in your day-to-day habits and activities!

What are you waiting for? Choose one of the habits above and get started today.

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Berkeley University of California: How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain

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