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Last Updated on December 1, 2020

3 Hidden Reasons Why You Fail at What You Do

3 Hidden Reasons Why You Fail at What You Do

Why do I fail at everything? If you’ve ever asked yourself this question, join the club!

Failure is a normal part of life. It comes with the territory of being a human being on planet Earth.

Think about something in your life that you really want to accomplish but haven’t yet been able to achieve. We’ve all failed at something in our lives. However, some people are better at failing than others.

The problem is that we live in a world where success is put on a pedestal, while failure is looked down upon. The line of thinking is that if you’ve failed, there must be something wrong with you.

This is so far from true. Failing at one thing doesn’t mean that your entire life is one big failure. The only true failure in life is when you stop trying.

Failure Is a Precursor for Success

Success isn’t built on success. Rather, success is built on failures. The more you learn what doesn’t work, the closer you get to figuring out what does.

In effect, messing up makes you a smarter and wiser person. Research has found that experiencing failure leads to richer mental models than experiencing success does[1].

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The most successful people in this world have failed massively. In actuality, they fail more than they succeed.

As Michael Jordan famously said:

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

The only way to change what isn’t working in your life is to get to the truth. This can be painful for a lot of people. It requires that you drop your excuses. Nobody wants to come face-to-face with their mess, but it’s necessary if you want to level-up your life.

I am a firm believer that the truth will always set you free, even when it makes you feel uncomfortable.

When you know the reasons why you’re failing time and time again, you will be empowered to do something different. This is the moment at which you can start turning your failure into a powerful plan of action.

3 Reasons Why You Fail at What You Do

Failure can be the result of many different factors, but here are three of the most common impediments to success.

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1. You Aren’t Taking Responsibility for Your Life

If you want to fix any problem in your life, you have to be willing to own it. Yes, life can be unfair. I know how tempting it can be to blame others or the world for your problems. However, that mindset won’t get you anywhere.

You cannot be the driver of your life and the CEO of your mind if you are constantly deflecting blame elsewhere. This is the fastest way to lose your power. You will continue to fail in life if you don’t take responsibility for what happens to you.

Drop the excuses and take ownership of every action you take and every thought you think. If you can do that, I promise that you will start thriving.

Part of the power of taking responsibility for your actions is that you silence the negative, unhelpful voice in your head[2]. When you do this, you have more mental space to think empowering thoughts about success instead of disempowering thoughts about failure.

2. You Don’t Believe in Yourself Enough

Belief is the foundation of everything in life. The most mind-blowing achievements would never have transpired without the belief that they were possible.

If you don’t believe in yourself, you will only sabotage your efforts and continue to come up short. The act of failing will affirm your limiting belief that you’re a failure and not deserving of success, and the cycle of destructive thinking will continue.

This is why it’s so important that you become an active observer of your thoughts and start to identify the core beliefs that are keeping you stuck.

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Core beliefs capture our fundamental view of the world, other people, and ourselves. Some common limiting beliefs include, “I’m a failure,” “I’m not enough,” or “I don’t deserve success”[3].

Question every single thought that you have. Once you become aware that you are separate from the voice inside of your head, your negative thoughts will grow weaker and weaker, and your self-belief will grow stronger and stronger.

If you find this particularly difficult, try starting a meditation practice to make space in your mind for positivity.

3. You Give up Too Quickly

Nothing of value in life comes easy. Every day there are people in this world who do the impossible. Have you ever wondered why this happens? Simple. These people don’t give up.

Even when all of the cards are stacked against them, they persevere. If you give up the moment that you encounter a challenge, you’ve adopted a dabbler mentality. The dabbler always fails.

This is someone who never finishes what they start. They jump from one thing to the next in hopes that things will be easier. Not surprisingly, they encounter the same reality.

Conversely, the master is someone who commits to everything. If this person can’t find a way, he or she creates a way. These types of people turn every failure into an opportunity for growth.

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You will fail. That’s a guarantee. All that matters is how you react when you do. The next time you feel like giving up, I want you to think about why you started in the first place.

I am going to bet that you have invested too much time, energy, and sacrifices to throw in the towel so easily. If you keep going and never stop fighting for your dreams, I promise that your future self will thank you for it.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I fail at everything?” reflect on the above reasons.

The only person that is standing in the way of your success is you. If you want to be successful, you have to get comfortable with failure.

Even more, you have to seek out failure because this is where you will find life’s greatest lessons. Extract those lessons and use your pain as motivation.

In the words of the late, great, Maya Angelou:

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

Are you ready to rise above your failures and step into your power?

More Tips on Overcoming Failure

Featured photo credit: DANNY G via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Ashley Elizabeth

Resilience Mastery Coach and Motivational Speaker

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem and a Lack of Confidence

10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem and a Lack of Confidence

Self-confidence can be defined as a belief in one’s abilities and maintaining a sense of competence. On the other hand, low self-confidence can be defined as a lack of faith in one’s abilities and competence.

Self-confidence can fuel success, while low self-esteem can impede it. To avoid falling into patterns of low self-esteem and a lack of confidence, consult the following warning signs.

1. Checking Your Phone While Alone in Social Situations

You find yourself unable to sit still during social situations with little or no friends. Instead, you find yourself desperately checking your phone to appear more socially connected.

Tip: Try exercising an affirmation such as “I am loved.”

2. Backing Down During a Disagreement to Appease Another Person

You find yourself backing down in conversation often; you negotiate your views so as to avoid conflict. You would rather avoid experiencing rocky waters than express yourself honestly.

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Tip: Try an affirmation such as “my opinion matters” or “I live authentically.”

3. Unable to Leave the House Without Make-Up or Primping

You gain a false sense of self-esteem from wearing make-up or primping. Instead of feeling self-esteem from within, you feel a need to primp in order to feel good about yourself.

Tip: Try a daily “I am beautiful” affirmation.

4. Taking Constructive Criticism Too Personally

You tear up in the bathroom after a coworker gives you constructive criticism about your job performance; you wind up yelling at friends when they criticize your choice in a date. Instead of taking criticism objectively, you react emotionally.

Tip: Try counting to 3 before responding to criticism.

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5. Afraid to Contribute Your Opinion in Conversation

You find yourself second guessing what you want to say before you say it, instead of diving into conversation without a thought. You may find yourself stuttering and engaging in negative self-talk.

Tip: Focus on your breath when you begin to second guess yourself to avoid over-thinking.

6. Being Indecisive in the Midst of Simple Decisions

You change your mind after coming to a simple decision, such as what activity to do with a friend or what food to eat. Then once you come to another decision, you change your mind over and over.

Tip: Vocalize the affirmation “I am assertive and in control of my life.”

7. Cannot Handle Genuine Compliments

You reflect when someone pays you a genuine compliment, instead of graciously accepting the compliment.

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Tip: Practice the affirmation “I am worthy of love” or “I have many good qualities.”

8. Giving up Too Soon

You give up on your goals and dreams before you have hardly started. You lack confidence in your success, so you give up all together.

Tip: Practice the affirmation “I am a success seeker, not a failure avoider.”

9. Comparing Yourself With Others

You pay extra attention to those you deem more successful than you, and let your own self-worth take a plummet as a result. Instead of focusing on your journey and your journey only, you constantly look at everyone else’s.

Tip: Declare the affirmation “I am more than enough.”

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10. Slouching

You display a low body stance: you do not stand tall, but instead let your body slouch downwards, sending the message that you are not proud of yourself.

Tip: Take a few minutes each day to focus on your body posture. Take a look at these 10 Graphs That Help You Improve Posture In No Time.

More Tips to Boost Your Confidence

Featured photo credit: Sharon McCutcheon via unsplash.com

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