Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 1, 2020

7 Reasons Why You Keep Failing in What You Do

7 Reasons Why You Keep Failing in What You Do

Success always starts with failure. Successful people tell their stories about how they failed and how they turned these failures into success, and one day you will, too. If you find yourself asking, “Why do I keep failing?” then keep reading.

Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is courage that counts.” Our courage is born from the actions we choose to take when we face our failures and we reflect on what we have learned.

The path to success is not straightforward, and getting things right all the time is not realistic or helpful. Failure is a learning experience that shows us how not to do things, and it gives us the opportunity to keep fixing what we are doing wrong until we get it right.

Your failures are your learning opportunities. Thomas Edison said,

“I have not failed. I have found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”

He did find one way that did work for one of his famous inventions, and that was the electric lamp.

Failure offers you the opportunity to grow, to become wiser and smarter than you were before. However, if you are not using the opportunities that your failures offer you, then you will never be able to achieve the success you want in life.

Advertising

Here are 7 reasons why you may feel like you are failing in everything you do. Address these 7 reasons and you will find that instead of experiencing constant failure, you will be achieving more in life.

1. Fear of Failure

Being afraid of failure paralyzes us. When we feel like we are failing all the time, we begin to see failure as something that is designed to punish us[1]. This is not a great mindset to have when you are presented with an opportunity. If you have a fear of failure, then you are setting yourself up to fail before you have even started.

2. Wanting Too Much Too Quickly

Social Media has a huge influence on how we live our lives. There are thousands and thousands of people on social media describing their incredibly successful lives with very short snips of video and lots of pictures of their material wealth: flashy houses, cars, planes, clothes, shoes, boats, and the list goes on.

We are constantly exposed to the concept that success is in the palm of our hand and all we have to do is go get it.

The message we get told over and over is that you can have anything if you dream big. That is the first mistake we make—we go dream big and set incredibly challenging goals, and when we don’t get the results we hoped for, we become very discouraged and give up.

There is no problem with aiming high and dreaming big. What you do need to take into consideration when aiming high, however, is the amount of effort, dedication, and work it takes each day to get even close to your goals.

Instant results are not realistic, so be very aware that the goals you set to reach the mountain top are realistic and achievable, one step at a time, not 100 steps at once.

Advertising

3. Lack of Planning

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.” -Benjamin Franklin

Lack of planning works hand in hand with wanting too much too quickly. To achieve your dreams and goals in life, you need to have a plan. No plan means you are less likely to succeed. A plan gives your direction, keeps you on track, and holds you accountable.

A good plan will have attainable, measurable, specific goals all heading in a direction that will take you closer to achieving your goals. Also, think about and be prepared for the challenges and obstacles you may face, and have a plan to manage these as well.

4. Giving up Too Easily

Giving up is the number one reason why people fail. The road to success is tough, and there are a lot of bumps along the way. When you experience failure or rejection, it becomes easier to give up.

The next time you want to give up, remember that you are not your failures. Don’t attach your success to the project that failed or the rejection you experienced.

Reset your mind and use your power of choice to determine what you do next—nobody else has that power over you!

5. Resistance to Seeking Advice and Help

“Never let your ego get in the way of asking for help when in desperate need. We have all been helped at a point in our lives.” Edmond Mbiaka

The journey to achieving your dreams and goals in life can not be done alone—this is not a solo journey! One reason why you are feeling like you fail at everything you do can be because you are reluctant to get feedback from people or seek help.

Constructive feedback is important to hear as it offers you a different perspective on what you are doing and what you are hoping to achieve. It may be that what you believe is right, others don’t, and that’s okay. However, it is always good to know why they think that way.

In situations where you are confronted with hardship and failure, it is important to seek feedback and advice. What they tell you might be uncomfortable to hear, but if it is constructive feedback, it will help you gain insight and learn important lessons about how to move forward in your life rather than going backwards.

6. Not Learning From Past Mistakes

Important lessons are learned from the mistakes you make. However, these lessons are irrelevant if you choose to ignore them. The consequence of you ignoring those lessons is that you will keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again until you finally get the message—or not!

Don’t bury your mistakes. Spend time reflecting on what went wrong for you and what you learned about that experience. Find out what did not work, and then figure out what you can do to avoid similar mistakes in the future.

7. Not Believing in Yourself

You can be the most intelligent and talented person in the room, but if you don’t believe in yourself, then failure rather than opportunities will dominate your life.

What separates successful people from unsuccessful people is that successful people believe in themselves. They believe they can achieve the goals they set and that they can deal with the challenges and obstacles that will confront them.

Advertising

If you are constantly seeking reasons for why things are not working for you or have a habit of blaming anyone or anything but yourself, that is a definite sign that you have to work on your self-belief.

When you start backing yourself and believing in you and what you can achieve, you will be less likely to give up. Instead, your conviction will fuel you to find that solution that will work for you.

Our power of choice is the only thing we can really control. We can choose to allow failure to discourage us, or we can choose to use the experiences of failure to strengthen our determination to keep moving forward.

The Bottom Line

Once you choose to take action and eliminate these 7 reasons that are blocking you from living a successful life, you will find that success replaces failure, and you will naturally have more self-belief in what you can achieve.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” -Henry Ford

More Tips on Overcoming Failure

Featured photo credit: Matias Malka via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Kathryn Sandford

Career Resilience Coach passionate about supporting others to grow and thrive in a complex world.

How to Stop Being Sad and Start Feeling Happy How to Persevere (and Get Ahead) When the Going Gets Tough How To Be an Optimistic Person When the Odds Are Against You 7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside 10 Things You Can Do Now to Change Your Life Forever

Trending in Success Mindset

1 17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd 2 Is There a True Measure of Success? How to Define Your Own 3 How Do You Measure Success: 10 New And Better Ways 4 50 Habits of Highly Successful People You Should Learn 5 8 Daily Habits of the Successful People (Which Are Rare)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 21, 2021

17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd

17 Traits That Make a Successful Person Stand out from the Crowd

If you are like most people, you probably have big goals and dreams that you would like to succeed in — you want to be the top in your career, live a healthy lifestyle, or flourish in your relationships.

Everyone dreams of a positive future, but most people don’t realize the secret to a truly successful life:

You determine your future in the way you spend your everyday moments. If you want to be a successful person, you must consistently develop good daily habits. As Aristotle pointed out:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”.

Building positive daily habits is a huge challenge, but can you imagine the amazing things you could accomplish with just a little commitment and determination?

Creating lasting, healthy habits is the real key difference between people who are successful in life and those who are unsuccessful.

You might be wondering which specific habits make the biggest difference. Not to worry, I’ve compiled a comparison list to help you get a jump start on a successful future.

1. Successful people embrace change. Unsuccessful people fear change.

Change is a constant for all of humanity, and it is important that you develop a positive relationship with it.

When unexpected or unwelcome changes arise, ask yourself how you can embrace it instead of running away. A few practical ways to reverse a change-fearing mindset include:

  • Take a moment to recognize and address any fears associated with the upcoming change.
  • Communicate with a person you trust about your negative feelings toward change.
  • Practice positive thinking, which you can read about in the next section.

2. Successful people exude joy. Unsuccessful people think, say and do negative things.

A joyful, positive disposition can seem like a distant reality in today’s cynical world, but it may be easier to achieve than you think. All you have to do is notice the good things around you and practice being thankful.

Advertising

Mindfulness and gratitude are not just buzz words – choosing a positive attitude can honestly change your life. Many studies have found that thankfulness leads to greater happiness. Furthermore, research indicates that gratitude may even have a lasting positive impact on the brain and overall mental health.[1]

3. Successful people forgive others. Unsuccessful people hold grudges.

As a human being, you have likely been offended or hurt by others plenty of times. Don’t give in to the temptation to hold a grudge. Let it go.

Note that forgiving someone does not equate to giving up your boundaries (which are very important) or even admitting that the offending party is right. You should choose to let go for your own peace of mind.

4. Successful people track progress. Unsuccessful people just criticize.

Some kinds of criticism, such as constructive criticism, are good for personal and professional development. The kind of criticism I’m talking about is the pessimistic, nagging, unhelpful variety. This is the kind of criticism in play when you are unfairly harsh to yourself or others.

Toss unfounded criticisms aside and consider tracking your “wins” or your progresses, no matter how small. Take mental notes or keep a progress journal.

If you have a solid sense of what you have achieved, you will be less tempted to be hard on yourself.

5. Successful people share information, data and ideas. Unsuccessful people hoard.

If you have useful information or generate brilliant ideas on the regular, your first instinct may be to keep it all to yourself for personal gain and solo recognition.

Instead of hoarding bright ideas, share them with your team. Your talents will be on display for the team, and the team will be able to support you and make your ideas a reality.

6. Successful people are humble. Unsuccessful people talk more than they listen.

Humility is key. The ability to listen to other people, really listen and understand, is essential to success in both work and relationships — and to listen you have to be humble.

Everyone has experienced the frustration of being in a one-sided conversation. When someone approaches you with a question or concern, put your own world aside for just a moment and give them the kindness of your full attention.

Advertising

7. Successful people take risks. Unsuccessful people take the easy way out.

The next time your heart is racing and you want to walk away, consider embracing the risk. You never know what might happen if you take a chance.

Embracing risks looks like accepting the speaking engagement even though it seems a little scary. Success takes the courageous route, not the easy route.

8. Successful people learn, improve and read every day. Unsuccessful people stop learning.

Instead of binge-watching a show tonight, save an hour before bed to read a book and expand your mind.

Unsuccessful people are afraid to be flexible – they don’t challenge themselves to learn new things. Avoid this pitfall by exposing yourself to new thoughts and ideas every day.

9. Successful people handle problems well. Unsuccessful people act before they think.

The next time you run into a problem or even an emergency, try to work through your initial panic reaction with a few deep breaths.

Instead of acting rashly, think through your next actions as quickly but as logically as you can.

Learning to handle problems thoughtfully is an absolutely essential tool in the successful person’s toolbox (that’s you!).

10. Successful people accept responsibility for their failures. Unsuccessful people blame others.

Along with a previous tip about humility, this is one of the hardest things you’ll ever learn to do – but also the most rewarding. When you’ve failed, you must fight the urge to pass the blame. Successful people are able to fail honestly and gracefully.

And, hey, don’t feel bad about failing. Some of the most successful people in the world have failed too many times to count. It’s all a part of the process.

You can check out this article for more tips on how to fail well:

Advertising

How Failure Helps You To Succeed and Grow

11. Successful people work with passion and commitment. Unsuccessful people have a sense of entitlement.

A short and sweet lesson for you:

You should never expect to achieve the things you want without working hard.

Follow your passion and stay committed to pursuing it. Work hard and stick to your habits every day. You’ll earn your reward.

12. Successful people spend time with the right people. Unsuccessful people think they already know it all.

A lot of people miss out on useful relationships and information sharing because they think they can do it all alone.

Spend time with people who inspire you, spur you to be a better person, and remind you that you can’t go it alone.

13. Successful people make to-do lists and maintain proper life balance. Unsuccessful people waste their time.

Ah, time management. Unsuccessful people never master the art of organization and planning.

Here are a few tips for you when it comes to time management:

  • Make to-do lists. Seriously, this will help you. Make time to do it every morning, evening, or whenever you are able.
  • Keep track of your time. Are you happy with the way you are currently balancing things? What changes can you make?
  • Keep a calendar full of your long-term goals (see next tip).

14. Successful people write down goals and think long term about their burning desires. Unsuccessful people get distracted every day.

Why is it so important to keep a long-term goal calendar? Here’s the deal:

The things you are passionate about today need a backbone.

Advertising

Give your passionate ideas sustainability by writing down goals and staying on task instead of succumbing to distraction.

15. Successful people compliment others. Unsuccessful people try to bring others down to their level.

There is no greater confidence than saying “no” to sudden jealous or envious feelings and choosing to sincerely admire someone’s talents instead.

Unsuccessful people live in a world driven by competition, but successful people know that building people up is far more rewarding than bringing them down.

16. Successful people want others to succeed. Unsuccessful people secretly hope they fail.

In the same vein as the point above, this tip is all about good intentions.

Care for the people around you. Encourage them toward their successes. Hoping that others fail will not help you at all.

17. Successful people know their purpose and mission. Unsuccessful people don’t know what they want to be.

The last thing that differentiates successful people from unsuccessful people is one of the most important:

Keep your mission in mind.

Don’t be swayed to and fro by passing emotions and events. Know who you are and pursue your dreams wholeheartedly.

Final thoughts

Above all, stay confident. Truly believe that you can be and are successful. Strive to prove it in your day-to-day habits and activities!

What are you waiting for? Choose one of the habits above and get started today.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Berkeley University of California: How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain

Read Next