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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

10 Ways To Believe In Yourself Again When Life Gets Rough

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10 Ways To Believe In Yourself Again When Life Gets Rough

It is a very well-known fact that if anyone wants to succeed in life, they must believe in themselves. We have to believe in ourselves and in our abilities because our inner faith will create our external results.

People easily lose faith in themselves when encountering setbacks, failure and fear. When you lack confidence in yourself, others will pick up on that and won’t take you seriously.

Not many people live the life that they have always wished to live; they give up on their life goals as soon as they encounter the first setback. One of the main causes for this is that they do not believe in themselves.

“Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard and there is nothing you cannot accomplish.” – Brad Henry

The world that we are living in is extremely competitive and challenging, and people start to doubt themselves and their abilities when they come across failure. But a few failures are not the end. You must get back up again.

Here’re 10 ways to believe in yourself again:

1. Accept Your Current Situation

The first thing you need to do if you want to get back up and start believing in yourself again is to accept your current life situation. You have to make peace with how your life looks at the moment and what led to this situation that you are in.

Fighting with your situation won’t do you any good. Being resistant is pointless, so we must accept first. Only then will we have enough energy to change our life.

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“First, accept sadness. Realize that without losing, winning isn’t so great.” – Alyssa Milano.

2. Think About Your Past Success

If you are feeling down and out, use your past to get motivated again. Remember the time when you used to just kick butt. When you were awesome and you used to rock it! Put yourself in that past and think about the awesome things that you used to do.

Now remember that you can do it again. It is easy to think about the times when you got hurt, but it is just as easy to think about those times when you were successful as well. Use your past to your advantage.

“Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday’s success or put its failure behind and start over again. That’s the way life is, with a new game every day.”– Bob Feller.

3. Trust Yourself

This is one of the most important things that can help you get that belief and confidence back. All the energy, power, courage, strength and confidence is within you.

Spend time with yourself to access it, whether it be through meditation, journalling, or activities that make you trust in yourself again.

“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.” – Rumi

4. Talk with Yourself

We are the ones who create who we will become. We do that every day by our daily beliefs and self-talk. It’s really important that we talk to ourselves and motivate ourselves.

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We don’t ultimately need others’ approval. You deserve your own self-approval and supportive self-talk.

“The brain simply believes what you tell it most. And what you tell it about you, it will create. It has no choice.”
“If you tell yourself that you cannot, what can the only outcome be?” – Shad Helmstetter.

5. Don’t Let Fear Stop You

Fear stands for False Evidence that Appears Real.  It is the main thing that holds you back from believing in yourself again more than anything else.

Face your fears and don’t let them stop you from achieving your goals: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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“Always do what you are afraid to do.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

6. Let Yourself Off the Hook

You have to forgive yourself for any failures or mistakes that you have committed in the past and move on.

You have to look at the future and stop living in the past. Be compassionate towards yourself.

7. Go with a Positive Attitude

Having a positive attitude towards everything is the quickest way in achieving that belief and confidence in yourself.

Be thankful for whatever you are and whatever you have. Always have a positive approach and see the good in the world.

Here’re some inspirations for you: 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life

8. Let a Life Coach Help You

A life coach is a professional that helps, supports, and guides you. A life coach can help you recognize your abilities and skills. They can help you refocus on your goals and remember your past successes.

When you’re full of doubt, your life coach will believe in you and help you to believe in yourself again. Take a look at these 7 Reasons Why You Should Find a Life Coach to Reach Your Full Potential.

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If you want to have a taste of what it’s like to have someone guiding you through, join the free Fast-Track Class Activate Your Motivation. It’s a free focused session that will help you build a sustainable motivation engine. Experience yourself what it’s like to have a coach to help you regain motivation! Join the free class now.

9. Keep Moving Forward And Never Look Back

“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

There are going to be countless times in your life when you will feel down and you will feel like giving up. The voice in your head will tell you to stop and you will start to doubt yourself, but never listen to that voice.

Be strong and keep moving on. Never give up on yourself. You have to keep on going and eventually you will reach your destination. And when you do, you will realize how much more powerful you have become.

Here’re some tips to help you move forward: 10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When Feeling Stuck

10. Let Life Move You

Let your life follow its own natural flow.  When you learn to follow your life’s flow, you’ll realize that life is marvellous and precious.

If you let your life guide you, it will shower you with its gifts and riches. You have to accept the life you are given and you have to learn to relax. Allow it to let you move in the direction you are meant to go, and you will find success.

“We all have different things that we go through in our everyday life, and it’s really important to know just at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what you face, you know that you’re going to win at the end of the day. You got to believe in yourself. You got to believe in God, know that He’s going to get you through it.” – Kelly Rowland.

In addition to the above tips, here’re 8 steps to a more confident you:

More to Boost Your Confidence

Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

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Tom Casano

The CEO and Founder of Life Coach Spotter

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Published on September 27, 2021

What Is Incentive Motivation And Does It Work?

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What Is Incentive Motivation And Does It Work?

We’ve all needed a bit of inspiration at some time in our lives. In the past year or two, that need most likely has grown. Who hasn’t been trying to shed those extra pounds we put on during the pandemic? Who hasn’t felt the need to fake a little enthusiasm at joining yet another Zoom call? Who hasn’t been trying to get excited about trekking back into the office for a 9 to 5 (longer if you add in the commute)? Feeling “meh” is a sign of our times. So, too, is incentive motivation, a way to get back our spark, our drive, and our pursuit of the things we say we want most.

In this article, I’ll talk about what incentive motivation is and how it works.

What Is Incentive Motivation?

Incentive motivation is an area of study in psychology focused on human motivation. What is it that gets us to go from couch potato to running a marathon? What spurs us to get the Covid vaccine—or to forgo it? What is it that influences us to think or act in a certain way? Incentive motivation is concerned with the way goals influence behavior.[1] By all accounts, it works if the incentive being used holds significance for the person.

The Roots of Incentive Motivation

Incentive motivation’s roots can be traced back to when we were children. I’m sure many of us have similar memories of being told to “eat all our veggies” so that we would “grow up to be big and strong,” and if we did eat those veggies, we would be rewarded with a weekend trip to a carnival or amusement park or playground of choice. The incentive of that outing was something we wanted enough to have it influence our behavior.

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Growing up, incentive motivation continues to play a major role in what we choose to do. For example, while we may not have relished the idea of spending years studying, getting good grades, pursuing advanced degrees, and graduating with sizeable debt from student loans, a great many of us decided to do just that. Why? Because the end goal of a career, a coveted title, and the associated incentives of financial reward and joy in doing something we love were powerful motivators.

One researcher who believes in the power of incentive motivation is weight management expert, co-author of the book State of Slim, and co-founder of the transformational weight loss program of the same name, Dr. Holly Wyatt. Her work with her clients has proven time and again that when motivation fizzles, incentives can reignite those motivational fires.

“Eat more veggies, exercise, keep track of my weight: These things and more DO work, but bottom line, you gotta keep doing them. Setting up rituals and routines to put your efforts on auto-pilot is one way. And along the way, the use of both external and internal motivators helps keep people on track. External motivation sources are those things outside of ourselves that help to motivate us. They’re powerful, like pouring gasoline on a fire. But they may not last very long. Internal motivators are more tied into the reasons WHY we want to reach our goals. In my State of Slim weight loss program, we spend a lot of time on what I call ‘peeling back the onion’ to find the WHY. I think the internal motivators are more powerful, especially for the long-term, but they may take longer to build. They’re the hot coals that keep our motivational fires burning.”

Examples of Incentive Motivation

In the way of incentive motivation, specific to the external motivators, Dr. Wyatt challenges her clients to commit to changing just one behavior that will help them reach their weight loss goals. Clients must then agree to a “carrot” or a “stick” as either their reward for accomplishing what they say they will do or as their punishment for falling short. Those incentives might be something like enjoying a spa day if they do the thing they said they would do or sweating it out while running up and down the stairwell of their apartment building a certain number of times as punishment for not following through.

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Whatever they choose, the goal must be something they really want, and the incentive must be something that matters to them enough to influence their behaviors in reaching those goals. Some people are more motivated by some sort of meaningful reward (a carrot) whereas, other people are more motivated by some sort of negative consequence or the taking away of a privilege (the stick).

Another example of incentive motivation is playing out currently with companies and government entities offering perks to people who get the Covid vaccine. Nationwide, offers are being made in the way of lottery tickets, cash prizes, concert seats, free admission to events and discounts for food, and even free drink at local restaurants and bars. The list of incentives being offered to the public to increase vaccination rates is pretty extensive and quite creative.[2]  These incentives are financial, social, and even hit on moral sensibilities. But is this particular incentive motivation working?

Remember that a key to incentive motivation working is if the individual puts importance on the reward being received on the ultimate goal. So, not all incentives will motivate people in the same way. According to Stephen L. Franzoi, “The value of an incentive can change over time and in different situations.”[3]

How Does Incentive Motivation Differ from Other Types of Motivators?

Incentive motivation is just one type of motivating force that relies on external factors. While rewards are powerful tools in influencing behaviors, a few other options may be more aligned with who you are and what gets you moving toward your goals.

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Fear Motivation

In many ways, being motivated by fear is the very opposite of being motivated by incentives. Rather than pursuing some reward, it’s the avoidance of some consequence or painful punishment that sparks someone into action. For example, married couples may “forsake all others” not out of love or commitment but out of a fear that they may be “taken to the cleaners” by their spouses if their infidelities are revealed.

Another example wherein fear becomes the great motivator is one we’re hearing about more and more as we’re coming out of this pandemic—the fear of being poor. The fear of being poor has kept many people in jobs they hate. It’s only now that we see a reversal as headlines are shining a light on just how many workers are quitting and refusing to go back to the way things were.

Social Motivation

Human beings are social creatures. The desire to belong is a powerful motivator. This type of social motivation sparks one’s behavior in ways that, hopefully, result in an individual being accepted by a certain group or other individuals.

The rise of the Internet and the explosion of social media engagement has been both positive and negative in its power to motivate us to be included among what during our school days would be called “the cool kids” or “cliques” (jocks, nerds, artsy, gamers, etc.). We probably all have experienced at one time or another the feelings associated with “not being chosen”—whether to be on a team to play some game or as the winning candidate for some job or competition. Social rejection can make or break us.

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Before You Get Up and Go…

Know that, especially during these challenging times, it’s “normal” and very much “okay” to feel a lack of motivation. Know, too, that external motivators, such as those we’ve talked about in this article, can be great tools to get your spark back. We’ve only touched on a few here. There are many more—both external and internal.

Remember that these external motivators, such as incentive motivations, are only as powerful as the importance placed on the reward by the individual. It’s also important to note that if there isn’t an aligned internal motivation, the results will more than likely be short-lived.

For example, losing a certain amount of weight because you want to fit into some outfit you intend to wear at some public event may get you to where you want to be. But will it hold up after your party? Or will those pounds find their way back to you? If you want to be rewarded at work with that trip to the islands because you’ve topped the charts in sales and hustle to make your numbers, will you be motivated again and again for that same incentive? Or will you need more and more to stay motivated?

Viktor Frankl, the 20th-century psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor, and author of the best-selling book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is quoted as having said, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” As important as external motivators like incentives may be in influencing behaviors, the key is always to align them with one’s internal “why”—only then will the results be long-lived.

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So, how might incentive motivation influence you and your behavior toward goals? Knowing your answer might keep you energized no matter what your journey and help to further your successes.

Featured photo credit: Atharva Tulsi via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Britannica: Incentive motivation
[2] National Governors Association: COVID-19 Vaccine Incentives
[3] verywellmind: The Incentive Theory of Motivation

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