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Last Updated on November 27, 2020

3 Steps to Truly Know Your Value and Realize It in Life

3 Steps to Truly Know Your Value and Realize It in Life

Do you know your value? Before we get into this, I want to begin with a heartbreaking, personal story of a woman I used to know: Mary.

Mary was a quiet woman who mainly kept to herself but was very observant. She watched, she took notes, and, most importantly, she listened. When someone talked to her, she felt as if she gained a piece of their soul as she hung on every last word.

Mary had a dream. She wanted to own a bookstore and discuss novels with customers as they perused the aisles. She imagined offering free coffee and having support groups in the evening where people would gather, connect, and free their souls.

Mary had envisioned her dream in her mind. She had mapped out everything from the color of the walls to the font on her receipts. However, Mary would always say that her dream wasn’t feasible and that it wasn’t realistic. She would ask, “How could someone like me have a life like that?”

Mary dreamed but stopped herself with excuses. She let this resistance stop her from acting and never started to create her dream.

I don’t want you to miss out on your best life like Mary did. She didn’t recognize her value and what she was truly capable of.

This article is here to help you know your self-worth and live better. Here are 3 steps to help you uncover and know your value.

1. Identify the Source of Resistance

There are no limits to what you can achieve and the amount of people you can help when your value is fully exposed. However, how can you truly know your self-worth and how you can impact the world?

It can be incredibly confusing when we have to sift through societal norms, opinions, past events, and circumstances.

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This process is similar to an onion, peeling away the layers of resistance that have been piled on you for such a long time.

This is a feat for most people because it is not natural for us to do in this society. Sometimes, we don’t want to face our resistances because we are under this misconception that we are who we were.

It can be exhausting to uncover your worth when it has been hiding away for some time. However, when you discover your worth, you receive peace of mind, certainty, presence – a full life that is true to you.

Letting go can be difficult, but it starts with acknowledging what exactly has been holding you back and keeping you stuck[1].

For Mary, it was doubt. Mary doubted that she had what it took to achieve her ultimate dream. If she could have let go of doubt and replaced it with faith, then she might have left the world fulfilled, but instead she left with regret.

To get started write down your goal and the reasons you feel you can’t reach it. It could be self-doubt, a lack of specific skills, a lack of funds, or a weak support system.

Once you know what is leading to your resistance, write down three ways you could overcome each of them. It’s okay if these things are long-term or will take a while. The idea is that you realize that you can overcome each thing that you feel is holding you back.

After you begin acknowledging your resistances and letting go of them, you can begin to follow what feels right to achieve your goals and know your value.

2. Follow Your Happiness

Once you have peeled back the layers and removed the resistance that has been holding you back, you can begin to follow your happiness.

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Now that you are not affected by the judgement of others, crippled by fear, or [insert your resistance here], you can begin to do what brings you pure joy.

Joy is where you learn to know your value and worth. This is contradictory to how we are used to living because we have been told to work hard, have a family, get a good job, pay our bills, and so on and so forth.

We have work, our relationships, all of our obligations, and then we have our hobby or passion (if there is time left for this).

We put everything before our passion, and then, at the end of the day, we are exhausted and completely drained. And we are surprised that we don’t know our self-worth.

Work then play.

BUT, can we work and play? Can we incorporate joy, happiness, and play into everything we do? Does there have to be a separation between the two?

“Oh, he’s just a broke artist.”

The way I look at it is that he’s the most successful human being on the planet because he does what he loves, he’s fanatical about it, and he’s doing what his heart desires day and night. To me, that’s a life worth living.

I’ll tell you what isn’t a life worth living – working at something you don’t enjoy for the majority of your life to meet society’s expectations.

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This can be difficult to overcome. You can start by identifying exactly what brings you the most joy.

Maybe you really do like your job, and you feel it brings value to your life. That’s great! If not, is it one of your hobbies? Do you feel most like yourself when your traveling or painting or helping others?

Identifying your passion is key when you want to know your self-worth and act on it.

You can learn how to find your passion here.

So, whatever it is that brings a smile to your face – follow it everywhere and never leave its side. The rest will come if you learn to let go and ignore the resistances as they present themselves.

3. Stick With It

So, you’ve let go of resistance and have started to follow your happiness. You have begun to do what brings joy into your life every chance that you get, but you’re still not quite sure that you know your value.

The resistances are still showing up, and you have a to-do list to accomplish. It takes time, but slowly and surely, if you let go and follow your smile, a life of value will naturally unfold.

It’s a fact that waiting is hard. According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, “We want immediate gratification or relief from the lack”[2].

In other words, we let go of our resistances, but we aren’t immediately gaining the life that we desire, and that creates a feeling of lack. Basically, we aren’t attaining what we want fast enough.

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But, we have to make this process a way of life: release and follow your happiness.

Don’t look for the answers in anyone except for yourself. If it doesn’t feel right, then investigate why that is. Ask yourself important questions. For example, you can do some self-investigation with questions like:

  • Why am I doing what I’m doing?
  • How do I feel about these actions?
  • Is there something I can change right now?
  • What can I do to work toward my future goals?

Don’t put the negativity in a closet for another time – deal with resistance as it shows up or you’ll never know your self-worth. You’ll never let anyone down pursing what you love. The saddest story is one that ends with an unfulfilled dream.

Here’re some tips to help you stick to the changes you want to make: 13 Steps To Stick To the Life Changes You Want To Make

So for the sake of your soul and the other people counting on you – let go and follow your happiness today.

The Bottom Line

If you want to know your value and start feeling good, you have to start creating the life you were meant to live. If you’re unhappy with a job, unable to open yourself up to new relationships, or leaving your hobbies by the wayside, you need to examine what you can do to change things.

Once you’re able to do what brings meaning to your life, you’ll know your value and your worth.

More Tips About Realizing Your Self-Worth

Featured photo credit: Ammie Ngo via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Jacqueline Battaglia

Growth Coach, Blogger, and Creator of Life is Duck Soup. My approach will help you get to your next potential level, follow your HAPPY path and enjoy each moment fully.

Nothing Makes You Happy: Here’s Why and What to Do 7 Simple Ways to Cope with Stress at Work and Stop Worrying 3 Steps to Truly Know Your Value and Realize It in Life 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently

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Last Updated on February 16, 2021

Need a Breakthrough from the Limitations Holding you Back?

Need a Breakthrough from the Limitations Holding you Back?

Do you feel stuck in an area of your life, not knowing what to do next?

There are things you want to accomplish, dreams you’d love to fulfil, yet your current circumstances seem to be preventing you from reaching your goals.

Perhaps it’s your job, your career, major decisions, relationships, or just life getting in the way that’s preventing you from focusing on your true desires.You’re unhappy, maybe even burning out, and you want a change.You need some sort of breakthrough. Is this where you’re at in life right now?

Is there something bigger, something more that you’d like to do, but feel like you can’t at this moment for whatever reason?If you’re feeling this way, then I want to first assure you that you’re not alone. Almost everyone has experienced this feeling at some point in their lives, because humans are made to grow and mature and to develop into ‘better’ versions of themselves. Take the evolution theory for example, it shows how humans evolve through time to adapt, survive, and thrive better on Earth.

Same goes for each of our individual lives. We have different goals, dreams, and aspirations, but they all lead to the same outcome – becoming better than what we were before… whether it’s in terms of happiness, wealth, love, etc. So why is it that some of us have a harder time moving ahead? To answer that, we need to look at the limitations holding us back.

What are Limitations?

On the surface, limitations are things that prevent you from doing something; but, if you dig deeper, you’ll find that limitations are the things that keep you constrained inside a loop.

They keep you stuck facing the same problems, having the same choices, and taking the same actions over and over again. Limitations define your current circumstances, which also means that they define the quality of your life.

But, here’s another insight that we’ve found from people who consistently make breakthroughs: your reality is derived from your perception.

It’s not reality that’s important, but rather, how you see it. So being able to control how you look at things is the key to your breakthrough. 

Some people are able to move forward a lot easier than others because they’re able to control how to look at things better than others. They’re able to shift their mindset to look at even the most negative of situations, and turn them into something positive.

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And the good news, is that because all limitations start from your mind, it means that you can learn how to take control of the way you view your limitations. And, here is where I want to introduce to you the Breakthrough Framework.

The Full Life Framework

This Full Life Framework helps provide an overall paradigm shift for you to turn any limitation you may be having, into an opportunity that is achievable. 

With this framework, you’ll be able to transform yourself to achieve your goals and break free from anything that is holding you back.

You’ll learn how to use the Life Multipliers to help you through your transformation. These skills will help magnify your efforts and allow you to grasp your opportunities quicker and instill the changes permanently so that you won’t fall back into those limitations.

Step 1: Find the Hidden Opportunity

Step one is to find the Hidden Opportunity.When we’re faced with a challenge or setback, as humans it’s normal to focus on the negatives or the things that are missing. But, that’s life! There will always be some sort of constraint, so why not train your mind to think of opportunities instead of limitations?

With every obstacle, there is always a hidden opportunity waiting to be uncovered. So instead of fighting them or giving up, know that there are always two sides to every coin. This means that you can find an opportunity within any obstacle that you’re facing.

So, in order to find your hidden opportunity, try asking these guiding questions:

1. What limitation is affecting your quality of life right now?
E.g. “I’m limited by … [ the obstacle/constraint ]  Because …  [ why it’s a limitation ]”

2. What does it stop you from doing?
E.g. “It stops me from … [ the thing you want to do ]

3. What’s the turning point? A turning point is a key obstacle that, if overcome, would open new opportunities that weren’t available before. So you just need to find that turning point within the limitation you’re facing, to create a new opportunity.
E.g. If only I could … [ the achievement ] then I’d be able to … [ the new possibility ]”

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4. Create an Opportunity Statement.
E.g. I have an opportunity to … [ the new possibility ] by … [ the achievement ]

By writing an opportunity statement, it not only solidifies your intent, but it also provides a spark of motivation for you to finally come out of your limitation.

It can be a real mental drain to be faced with an obstacle; and the longer you stay stuck in it, the more effort and energy is taken away from you. So going through this first step of finding your hidden opportunity helps to re-ignite the flame of positivity that will drive you to take focused actions in steps 2 to 4.

Step 2: Plan Your Progression Stairway

Now that you’ve found a hidden opportunity, the next step is to plan your Progression Stairway.

This simply means that you should have a game plan of how you want to achieve that opportunity! And, it all starts with creating achievable goals.So the first secret to creating achievable goals, is to find your North Star.

Your North Star is what will guide you towards your outcome, and make sure your goals are focused within the bounds of what you actually want. Your North Star is the greater goal that all other smaller goals align themselves to.

The second secret is to set goals aimed at growth. This means that your success should be based on progress, and not just a single outcome.

The third secret, is to take bite-sized steps. In order to remain consistent, it’s helpful to break your ultimate goal into smaller, achievable chunks and work your way up from there – hence the progression stairway.

The clearer each bite sized step, the easier it is for you to keep making progress towards and eventually succeeding at accomplishing your goal.

Once you have your game plan sorted with goals in place, it’s time to start acting on them. And, here is where your actual energy and attention comes in. This is also the part where many of us fail or give up halfway because our energy and attention is limited. So we need to make sure we’re focusing it on the right tasks.

Step 3: Invest by Energy, Prioritize by Time

The third step of the Breakthrough Framework, therefore, is to Invest by Energy, Prioritize by Time. Breakthroughs require focused energy and effort above the level you’re currently using, otherwise it wouldn’t be called a breakthrough. So you can’t afford to waste it on distractions or scattered efforts. This is why focus is your ultimate weapon as it maximizes your effectiveness.

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And, since time is something we can never get back, we have to spend or invest in it carefully. We waste time when we allocate it on the wrong things. This may be due to poor planning or prioritizing. As a result, we don’t spend it effectively which is why focus is key.

So in order to maximize our efforts, we need to invest in our Energy and Time. 

Energy comes first because if you cannot focus, it doesn’t matter how well you manage your time. You’ll still end up wasting it because it’s not being productively spent.

Get rid of distractions, and do things in short bursts of focus as our attention span is short. Offload your brain by using support tools such as apps, journals, recording devices etc., so that your brain doesn’t get overwhelmed with information. Keep repeating this routine to build up your focus muscle.

Next comes time. Once you’ve learned to maximize your energy, it’s important to understand how you spend your time, set priorities and use the power of deadlines. Figure out which actions or tasks are more important, and prioritize those. Once you have your priorities listed, be sure to schedule them in weekly chunks so that they can be executed.

Now that you have established your opportunity, steps and focused actions, the last step of your breakthrough is to ensure this new you is sustainable!

Step 4: Make a Self-sustaining Engine

Most breakthroughs are not one off; therefore, a self-sustaining growth trend is needed. Along the way of reaching your breakthrough, you’ll encounter new challenges and obstacles that require the same mindset and plan of attack.

Breakthroughs require consistent input over time to guarantee stability; otherwise you might make a breakthrough but fall into the trap of sliding backwards again. And, just having willpower is not enough. You need a system to support and feed your momentum.

This is why we need what is called a self-sustaining Engine. And two elements form this engine: Motivation and Habits.

Motivation is formed from continuing growth and progress in your achievements. The more growth you experience, the more motivated you are to continue.

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And habits are routines that help you to generate momentum automatically. You can create a growth loop by having habits that anchor your growth. And, always incorporate a feedback loop so that you’re aware of your progress, and that will make your growth concrete.

Start by identifying keystone habits that can help anchor your growth, and be sure to work them in your daily schedule. Keep track of your daily or weekly progress in order to keep momentum going.

In a month, you should already see changes taking place. In 2 months, 3 months or more, you will be able to see milestones reached and progress made towards your ultimate goal that you had set out from the start – your opportunity statement.

Repeat and Grow

The four steps of the Breakthrough Framework that I’ve outlined can be used whenever you face any obstacle or limitation, no matter what situation you’re in. And mastering the Life Multipliers will allow you to carry out each step of the Breakthrough Framework effectively, as they give you in depth understanding of what should be done to get your desired outcomes.

Breakthrough’s are never one off. You may overcome a setback today, but face a new challenge 3 months later, and that’s normal because it’s how you know you’re progressing in life when you’re doing things that are harder than before to push you to greater heights.

With the Full Life Framework and the Life Multipliers, you’ll be able to break free from your current limitations and start pursuing the goals that truly matter to you, without risking or sacrificing your current responsibilities.

So don’t stay stagnant anymore, it’s time to see your breakthrough! Start your life-changing journey here!

Featured photo credit: Jeremy Bishop via unsplash.com

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