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Published on June 3, 2019

3 Steps to Know Your Value and Realize It in Life

3 Steps to Know Your Value and Realize It in Life

Do you know your value? Before I get into this, I want to begin with a heartbreaking story of a woman I used to know, Mary…

Mary was a quiet woman who mainly kept to herself but was very observant. She watched, she took notes, and most importantly – she listened. When someone talked to her, she felt as if she gained a piece of their soul and she hung on every last word.

Mary had a dream. She wanted to own a book store and discuss novels with customers as they perused the aisles. She imagined offering free coffee and having support groups in the evening where people would gather, connect, and free their souls.

Mary had envisioned her dream in her mind, she had mapped out everything from the color of the walls to the font on her receipts. However, Mary would always say that her dream wasn’t feasible and that it wasn’t realistic. She would ask, “How could someone like me have a life like that?”

Mary dreamed but stopped herself with excuses. She let these resistances stop her from acting – Mary never started to create her dream…

I don’t want you to miss out on your best life like Mary did. She didn’t recognize her value and what she was truly capable of. 

This is why I’m writing this article to help you uncover your true worth to live your best life.

What is Value?

Value is importance, worth, and usefulness. It is the positive energy and contribution to leave something better than how you found it.

We all have something to contribute because it’s why we are here. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t have a special gift to share with the world.

However, sometimes our value is difficult to find. Sometimes the world we live in makes it challenging to be ourselves. Your service may not be “trendy” or “popular” but it is a necessity. You have the answers that someone needs. Who you are, where you’ve been, and what you do is significant and it will impact the lives of many.

However, if we do not expose our worth and act on our dreams, then we cannot fully help anyone.

Please, I beg of you, DO NOT leave your value covered up by thoughts, opinions, fear, and negativity. Trust that what you offer and who you are is worthy.

You are a worthwhile investment to the world Uncover and act upon your value TODAY. Here’re  3 steps to uncovering and recognizing your value:

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1. Let Go of Resistence

There are no limits to what you can achieve and the amount of people you can help when your value is fully exposed. However, how can you truly know what you have to offer and how you can impact the world?

I know it is so confusing when we have to sift through societal norms, opinions, past events, and circumstances.

I am here to tell you – IT IS POSSIBLE. It is a process but it is POSSIBLE and it is NECESSARY to living your best life and having the energy to enjoy it.

This process is similar to an onion – peeling away the layers of resistance that have been piled on you for such a long time.

It’s a lot to ask of you, I know. It’s a feat for most people because it is not natural for us to do in this society. It isn’t always encouraged.

Sometimes, we don’t want to face our resistances because we are under this misconception that we are who we were. This mindset has to change – you are NOT who you were – you can be whoever you choose to be.

It can be exhausting to uncover your worth when it has been hiding away for some time. However, when you discover your worth, you receive peace of mind, certainty, presence – a full life that is true to you.

When you nurture and feed your value, you feel truly alive and you are in your own element – essentially at your best.

It begins with a decision.

Decide that whatever knot is in your stomach, that thing in your life you know isn’t right. Decide to unravel it.

Sometimes, that’s who we truly believe we are. This tight, closed off knot.

We sometimes give up trying to loosen up this cluster but we have to. We have to loosen the knot because our value and self-worth are in there.

Letting go can be difficult but it starts with acknowledging what exactly has been holding you back and keeping you stuck.

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For Mary, it was doubt. Mary doubted that she had what it took to achieve her ultimate dream.

If she could have let go of doubt and replaced it with faith, then she might have left the world fulfilled but instead she left with regret.

Don’t let your resistances define you! Instead, let your dream shape you into the person you will become.

Live in the present, create happy moments and dream big. Stop living by old definitions – that isn’t who you are anymore.

You are valuable and your dreams are worth your time and effort. Someone is in desperate need of you – your past experiences, your knowledge, your solutions.

If you need a little assistance, here are 7 steps to start living your dream life.

After you begin acknowledging your resistances and letting go of them, you can begin to follow what feels right – the positive energy.

Which brings me to step number 2 – your value will bring you happiness and leave you feeling energetic.

2. Follow Your Happiness

Once you have peeled the layers and removed the resistances that have been holding you back, you can begin to follow your happiness.

Now that you are not affected by the judgement of others, crippled by fear, or [insert your resistance here] – you can begin to do what brings you pure joy.

Joy is where your value and self-worth are. This is contradictory to how we are used to living because we have been told to work hard, get our hands dirty, get a good job, pay our bills, and so on and so forth.

We have work, our relationships, all of our obligations, and then we have our hobby or passion (if there is time left for this).

We put everything before our passion and then at the end of the day, we are exhausted – completely drained.

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Work then play.

I get it – work is good. I love to work, I love to be productive, I love helping people and being a contributing member of society.

BUT, can we work and play? Can we incorporate joy, happiness, and play into everything we do? Does there have to be a separation between the two?

We can’t instruct people to take a shot in the dark at their life just because the job pays the bills. We have to lead people in the direction of their value and passions.

“Oh, he’s just a broke artist”

The way I look at it is that he’s the most successful human being on the planet because he does what he loves, he’s fanatical about it, and he’s doing what his heart desires day and night.

To me, that’s a life worth living.

I’ll tell you what isn’t a life worth living – working at something you don’t enjoy for the majority of your life to meet societies expectations.

So, whatever it is that brings a smile to your face – follow it everywhere and never leave its side. Don’t turn away from your smile because it is where your best life is.

The rest will come if you learn to let go and ignore the resistances as they present themselves.

How do you know you have found your worth?

You’ll know when you have found your worth because at the end of the day, you will be energized. You’ll know you’ve found your worth because you’ll be excited for everything you are going to accomplish tomorrow.

This article can help you find what sparks your joy: How to Get Motivated and Be Happy Every Day When You Wake Up

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3. Stick with It

So, you’ve let go of resistance and have started to follow your happiness. You have begun to do what brings joy into your life every chance that you get but you’re still not quite sure of your value.

The resistances are still showing up and you have a to do list to accomplish. I understand that it takes time – it is a process but slowly and surely if you let go and follow your smile a life of value will naturally unfold.

It is a fact that waiting is hard. According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, “We want immediate gratification or relief from the lack.”[1]

In other words, we let go of our resistances but we aren’t immediately gaining the life that we desire and that creates a feeling of lack – we aren’t attaining what we want fast enough.

But, we have to make this process a way of life: release and follow your happiness, let go and smile. Make this process apart of who you are.

I promise, you do not have to search for this life. You have to let it come to you.

When you feel that tightness arise, breathe deeply and choose to dismiss the feeling. Give yourself permission to follow your happiness and be diligent – anything worthwhile takes time.

Don’t look for the answers in anyone except for yourself. If it doesn’t feel right, then investigate why that is. Ask yourself important questions.

Don’t put the negativity in a closet for another time – deal with each resistance as they show up and dismiss them and release. You’ll never let anyone down pursing what you love. The saddest story is one that ends with an unfulfilled dream.

Here’re some tips to help you stick to the changes you want to make: 13 Steps To Stick To the Life Changes You Want To Make

You are so very valuable, you are needed and I know this because you are here.

You have so much inside of you that the world needs.

So for the sake of your soul and the other people counting on you – let go and follow your happiness today.

More Articles About Self-Worth and Happiness

Featured photo credit: Ammie Ngo via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Jacqueline Battaglia

Growth Coach, Blogger, and Creator of Life is Duck Soup. My approach will help you get to your next potential level, follow your HAPPY path and enjoy each moment fully.

3 Steps to Know Your Value and Realize It in Life 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently Nothing Makes You Happy: Here’s Why and What to Do

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

What Is Self Actualization? 13 Traits of a Self-Actualized Person

What Is Self Actualization? 13 Traits of a Self-Actualized Person

Have you ever heard of self-actualization? As someone who has been a personal development junkie for several years now, I was shocked to learn about self-actualization recently.

When I came across the term, I couldn’t help but think, “What is this self-actualization thing, and how have I gone so many years without hearing about it?”

Maybe you’re in the same boat. Perhaps you’ve read up on tons of other topics like self-limiting beliefs, how to gain more self-awareness, how to be more self-confident, but you’ve never heard of self-actualization.

Don’t fret! I’m going to give you a crash course on what self-actualization is and which 13 traits are most commonly found in a self-actualized person.

What is Self Actualization?

When I explore a new topic, I can’t help but start with examining the definition. This one comes from Google Dictionary:

“The realization or fulfillment of one’s talents and potentialities, especially considered as a drive or need present in everyone.”

In my research, I found that the concept of self-actualization came from Abraham Maslow. Maslow was an American psychologist who is best known for his hierarchy of innate human needs. Like all hierarchy’s, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is listed in order of priority and is often represented as a pyramid.

    At the bottom are physiological needs, such as food and water. Up from there is safety and then belongingness, which would include intimate relationships and friends. Above belongingness is esteem or things like prestige and the feeling of accomplishment.

    On the very top of Maslow’s hierarchy rests self-actualization. And as we’ve seen in the definition, this means that the highest of human needs is to achieve one’s full potential.

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    So, if becoming a self-actualized person means realizing our greatest talents and achieving our greatest potential, how do we go about doing that? How do we achieve self-actualization?

    13 Traits of a Self-Actualized Person

    Let’s start by examining the top 13 traits of a highly self-actualized person and work backward from there.

    1. They Practice Acceptance

    Self-actualized people accept themselves and other people as they are, and they have no expectations for how people should be otherwise. They understand that no one is perfect, and they accept their own quirks, desires, and flaws as well as those of others.

    While many people wish they were different in some way, self-actualized people do not. They love themselves for who they are, and they do not apologize or feel guilt or shame for who they are.

    2. Self-Actualized People Are Authentic and True

    A self-actualized individual has a strong sense of who they are. They have a deep understanding of their beliefs and values, and they live in congruence with those beliefs and values.

    Because they accept and understand themselves, they are authentic and true to themselves. They do not pretend to be anything they are not. Not only are self-actualized people authentic, but they seek authenticity as well, both in people and in the world. They are quick to spot dishonesty.

    3. They Possess a Strong Sense of Realism

    Another characteristic of a self-actualized person is their sense of realism.

    To the average person, self-actualized people seem to have sound judgment or excellent gut instincts, but it’s far more than that. Their ability to logically and rationally evaluate the world allows them to spot dishonesties, fakes, and inconsistencies.

    Self-actualized people seek truth in everything they encounter, which gives then a keen ability to see behind the scenes more often than most people.

    4. They Live in the Here and Now

    Because self-actualized people are accepting and are grounded in reality, they are exceptionally good at living in the here and now. Self-actualized people do have goals, but they don’t focus on the future at the expense of the present.

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    For the self-actualized, the journey towards a goal is just as important as achieving the goal, if not slightly more so.

    5. The Self-Actualized Are Autonomous and Independent

    Self-actualized people are highly independent and do not conform to the norms of society. They do not depend on people, the world, or any external factors for their happiness. Instead, they draw satisfaction from their own development and personal growth.

    They are comfortable being alone, and because they are so independent, self-actualized people are not bothered by the opinions that others may have about them. They accept themselves as they are, and the opinions of others cannot change that.

    6. They Have Excellent Moral Intuition

    Self-actualized people do not allow themselves to be molded by culture or by society. They have an excellent moral compass, and they are deliberate about their decisions. They reject what they see as bad or evil, and they adopt what they see as good.

    Because they are driven by their own moral intuition, they have a strong code of ethics that cannot be swayed by society.

    The self-actualized do not accept everything as black and white, right or wrong, They evaluate all sides of an issue and make their own decisions based on what they believe to be right and just.

    7. Self-Actualize People Seek Growth and Development

    Self-actualized people not only draw happiness from personal growth, but they are also intrinsically motivated to develop their potential.

    They have moved beyond Maslow’s first four hierarchies are no longer motivated by basic human needs. They know that they are capable of more in life and they’re driven to see how much they can grow.

    They also view their growth as a tool to help more people, not just themselves.

    8. They are Problem-Solving, Humanitarians

    Self-actualized people have a genuine desire to help the human race. They are quick to spot problems in the world and, because they are problem solvers, they don’t hesitate to look for solutions.

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    This genuine desire to help is not rooted in personal gain, glory, recognition, or any other self-serving motive. Self-actualized people have a strong sense of purpose and want to leave the world better than they found it.

    9. They Have a Strong Sense of Purpose

    Because self-actualized people are humanitarians and they seek never-ending personal growth. They often times adopt a mission or purpose that is far beyond themselves or their own needs.

    This mission is typically meant to solve a problem for the good of all mankind and gives them a powerful sense of purpose. This purpose demands much of their energy, and they are more than happy to spend their time making a significant impact on the world.

    10. The Self-Actualized Person Seeks Peak Experiences

    Self-actualized people seek frequent peak experiences. These are not everyday experiences of joy—they are experiences that involve a heightened sense of wonder, awe, or ecstasy—a feeling of transcendence.[1]

    Peak performances tend to be highly significant to one’s life. They are fulfilling, thrilling, intrinsically rewarding, and in many cases, feel very spiritual.

    While rare, peak experiences can happen for anyone at any time, those who are self-actualized deliberately seek out these experiences routinely.

    11. They Embrace the Unknown

    While most people fear the unknown, self-actualized people embrace it. Self-actualized people understand that to grow as a person, you have to step beyond your comfort zone and into the unknown.

    Self-actualized people seek to reach their full potential, which means they have to explore the unknown. They cannot reach their full potential by staying where they are. They cannot cling to the familiar.

    They do not fear the unknown. Instead, the self-actualized welcome and embrace the unknown—they accept it and learn from it. They are not afraid of the many curve balls that life tends to throw their way.

    12. They Are Unconventional and Spontaneous

    Because they are not afraid of the unknown, self-actualized people tend to be very spontaneous and unconventional. While they are able to follow most social and cultural expectations, they have no problem doing their own thing when they decide it’s appropriate.

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    They do not feel confined by the norms of society and are willing to explore the unknown world beyond those expectations, even if the new experience is not a social norm.

    13. They Have a Thoughtful Sense of Humor

    Self-actualized people have a deep and thoughtful sense of humor. They are very good at finding the humor in most situations, and they enjoy laughing at themselves.

    On the other hand, they never use humor to embarrass or ridicule other people, and they never make jokes at the expense of others.

    The Path to Self-Actualization

    So there you have it: 13 traits that self-actualized people share. To get on the path to self-actualization, you can study these traits and seek to live a life that mirrors them.

    There’s no step-by-step plan to follow to become self-actualized. However, these 13 traits offer you a guide to becoming more self-actualized over time. Remember, becoming self-actualized is not a destination; it’s a journey.

    You can learn to be more present in your life, to accept yourself and those around you, and to be more spontaneous and unconventional. You can work towards finding your purpose in life, to becoming more humanitarian, and embracing the unknown.

    As you live your life, focus on improving these 13 areas of your life, and you’ll be well on your way to becoming self-actualized.

    Good luck!

    Featured photo credit: Denys Nevozhai via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Very Well Mind: Peak Experiences in Psychology

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