Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 11, 2020

3 Steps to Truly Know Your Value and Realize It in Life

3 Steps to Truly Know Your Value and Realize It in Life

Do you know your value? Before we get into this, I want to begin with a heartbreaking, personal story of a woman I used to know: Mary.

Mary was a quiet woman who mainly kept to herself but was very observant. She watched, she took notes, and, most importantly, she listened. When someone talked to her, she felt as if she gained a piece of their soul as she hung on every last word.

Mary had a dream. She wanted to own a bookstore and discuss novels with customers as they perused the aisles. She imagined offering free coffee and having support groups in the evening where people would gather, connect, and free their souls.

Mary had envisioned her dream in her mind. She had mapped out everything from the color of the walls to the font on her receipts. However, Mary would always say that her dream wasn’t feasible and that it wasn’t realistic. She would ask, “How could someone like me have a life like that?”

Mary dreamed but stopped herself with excuses. She let this resistance stop her from acting and never started to create her dream.

I don’t want you to miss out on your best life like Mary did. She didn’t recognize her value and what she was truly capable of.

This article is here to help you know your self-worth and live better. Here are 3 steps to help you uncover and know your value.

1. Identify the Source of Resistance

There are no limits to what you can achieve and the amount of people you can help when your value is fully exposed. However, how can you truly know your self-worth and how you can impact the world?

It can be incredibly confusing when we have to sift through societal norms, opinions, past events, and circumstances.

Advertising

This process is similar to an onion, peeling away the layers of resistance that have been piled on you for such a long time.

This is a feat for most people because it is not natural for us to do in this society. Sometimes, we don’t want to face our resistances because we are under this misconception that we are who we were.

It can be exhausting to uncover your worth when it has been hiding away for some time. However, when you discover your worth, you receive peace of mind, certainty, presence – a full life that is true to you.

Letting go can be difficult, but it starts with acknowledging what exactly has been holding you back and keeping you stuck[1].

For Mary, it was doubt. Mary doubted that she had what it took to achieve her ultimate dream. If she could have let go of doubt and replaced it with faith, then she might have left the world fulfilled, but instead she left with regret.

To get started write down your goal and the reasons you feel you can’t reach it. It could be self-doubt, a lack of specific skills, a lack of funds, or a weak support system.

Once you know what is leading to your resistance, write down three ways you could overcome each of them. It’s okay if these things are long-term or will take a while. The idea is that you realize that you can overcome each thing that you feel is holding you back.

After you begin acknowledging your resistances and letting go of them, you can begin to follow what feels right to achieve your goals and know your value.

2. Follow Your Happiness

Once you have peeled back the layers and removed the resistance that has been holding you back, you can begin to follow your happiness.

Advertising

Now that you are not affected by the judgement of others, crippled by fear, or [insert your resistance here], you can begin to do what brings you pure joy.

Joy is where you learn to know your value and worth. This is contradictory to how we are used to living because we have been told to work hard, have a family, get a good job, pay our bills, and so on and so forth.

We have work, our relationships, all of our obligations, and then we have our hobby or passion (if there is time left for this).

We put everything before our passion, and then, at the end of the day, we are exhausted and completely drained. And we are surprised that we don’t know our self-worth.

Work then play.

BUT, can we work and play? Can we incorporate joy, happiness, and play into everything we do? Does there have to be a separation between the two?

“Oh, he’s just a broke artist.”

The way I look at it is that he’s the most successful human being on the planet because he does what he loves, he’s fanatical about it, and he’s doing what his heart desires day and night. To me, that’s a life worth living.

I’ll tell you what isn’t a life worth living – working at something you don’t enjoy for the majority of your life to meet society’s expectations.

Advertising

This can be difficult to overcome. You can start by identifying exactly what brings you the most joy.

Maybe you really do like your job, and you feel it brings value to your life. That’s great! If not, is it one of your hobbies? Do you feel most like yourself when your traveling or painting or helping others?

Identifying your passion is key when you want to know your self-worth and act on it.

You can learn how to find your passion here.

So, whatever it is that brings a smile to your face – follow it everywhere and never leave its side. The rest will come if you learn to let go and ignore the resistances as they present themselves.

3. Stick With It

So, you’ve let go of resistance and have started to follow your happiness. You have begun to do what brings joy into your life every chance that you get, but you’re still not quite sure that you know your value.

The resistances are still showing up, and you have a to-do list to accomplish. It takes time, but slowly and surely, if you let go and follow your smile, a life of value will naturally unfold.

It’s a fact that waiting is hard. According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, “We want immediate gratification or relief from the lack”[2].

In other words, we let go of our resistances, but we aren’t immediately gaining the life that we desire, and that creates a feeling of lack. Basically, we aren’t attaining what we want fast enough.

Advertising

But, we have to make this process a way of life: release and follow your happiness.

Don’t look for the answers in anyone except for yourself. If it doesn’t feel right, then investigate why that is. Ask yourself important questions. For example, you can do some self-investigation with questions like:

  • Why am I doing what I’m doing?
  • How do I feel about these actions?
  • Is there something I can change right now?
  • What can I do to work toward my future goals?

Don’t put the negativity in a closet for another time – deal with resistance as it shows up or you’ll never know your self-worth. You’ll never let anyone down pursing what you love. The saddest story is one that ends with an unfulfilled dream.

Here’re some tips to help you stick to the changes you want to make: 13 Steps To Stick To the Life Changes You Want To Make

So for the sake of your soul and the other people counting on you – let go and follow your happiness today.

The Bottom Line

If you want to know your value and start feeling good, you have to start creating the life you were meant to live. If you’re unhappy with a job, unable to open yourself up to new relationships, or leaving your hobbies by the wayside, you need to examine what you can do to change things.

Once you’re able to do what brings meaning to your life, you’ll know your value and your worth.

More Tips About Realizing Your Self-Worth

Featured photo credit: Ammie Ngo via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Jacqueline Battaglia

Growth Coach, Blogger, and Creator of Life is Duck Soup. My approach will help you get to your next potential level, follow your HAPPY path and enjoy each moment fully.

3 Steps to Truly Know Your Value and Realize It in Life 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently Nothing Makes You Happy: Here’s Why and What to Do 7 Simple Ways to Cope with Stress at Work and Stop Worrying

Trending in Mental Strength

1 How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good 2 15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation 3 How to Be More Self-Assured and Get More Done During the Week 4 10 Reasons Why You Should Love Yourself First 5 What Is an Existential Crisis? (And How to Cope With It)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 18, 2020

How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good

How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good

Negative thinking can make us feel as though we are never truly good enough to change our lives. Whether we believe that we are not good looking enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, or something in between, we are always right.

We often tell ourselves the following:

“I’m not good enough to accomplish this.”

“They won’t like me. I’m too ugly to be around them.”

“I won’t ever be able to get out of this situation.”

How we see ourselves dictates how we lead our lives. This simple truth, while it is currently impacting your reality in a negative way, is actually good news. Why?

You can change your thinking, and when you can change your thoughts, you can change your reality.

Put simply, if you start to believe and feel like you are good-looking, intelligent, wealthy, or other things, you begin to see yourself in that light. If you tell yourself that you are capable of achieving greatness, you will eventually get there!

Advertising

That said, many find themselves wondering what to do when they get stuck in negative thinking. Are you tired of letting negative thinking run your life? Do you want to take control of how you feel and put yourself out there?

If you want to start writing your own narrative, let’s learn more about negative thought cycles and how you can change your own internal voice.

Where Do Negative Thoughts Come From?

You aren’t going to wake up one day and find that you are suffering from random negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are often a mix of ideas that we develop on our own, as well as ideas that we may have gotten from others.

For example, if you are constantly watching media where individuals are depicted as having thin bodies and perfect skin (and you do not have the same characteristics as those who are traditionally considered to be beautiful), you may come to the conclusion that you are not beautiful or deserving of love.

This is far from the truth, but your own take on how the world works can play into how you feel about yourself.

Equally harmful, the opinions of others can start to affect our self-perception. If several people tell you something negative about yourself, you may begin to take these opinions to heart, telling yourself the same things over time. This self-belief then becomes the model for how you live.

More often than not, the reality is that individuals who lack confidence and self-esteem are going to develop negative thought patterns.

This does not mean that confident people do not face internal crises of their own. After all, everyone is prone to experiencing a negative thought here and there. However, those who are self-aware and confident are able to bounce back from these thoughts and return to their truth.

Advertising

Those who do not think highly of themselves, on the other hand, are going to keep believing the negative thoughts that come into their mind. The issue? These negative thoughts turn into a repetitive cycle that becomes harder to break over time.

When you tell yourself something for months or years at a time, it can be difficult to transform that internal dialogue into something more positive and realistic. But is it possible? Absolutely!

The Importance of Quitting Negative Thinking

Beyond low-self esteem, there may be mental health-related causes behind your negative thought patterns, like depression. One of the major symptoms of depression is, you guessed it, negative thoughts. Depression can make us feel unworthy of love and life, even if we have everything we could wish for[1].

You may be struggling with anxiety disorders instead, which can paint uncertain visions of the future and leave you anticipating the worst long before the moment has arrived. Some people have anxiety about the present or will return to past moments where they felt as though they failed, which affects their feelings about who they are or who they will be[2].

Having mental health issues can make your situation more complex, but it is important to know that these types of health issues are highly treatable, especially with the assistance of a mental health professional. You are deserving of self-love, and getting help is the first, most important step of your journey!

How to Break the Cycle of Negative Thinking

In order to overcome your negative thought process, you are going to need two things: self-awareness and a willingness to love yourself. Once you are armed with these two tools, take a look below to learn more about how you can break free of the cycle of negative thinking.

1. Become Aware of the Thoughts That Are Affecting You

Negative thoughts are hard to catch because they have a tendency to become a part of who we are. These thoughts build our belief system and go unchallenged, even when they pop up daily.

All change begins with awareness. Whatever it is that you believe about yourself, take the time to pay attention to your own dialogue.

Advertising

What are you saying to yourself on a regular basis? How does it make you feel? Is any of it true?

 

When these thoughts are brought to your attention, you begin to notice just how often you are saying these things to yourself. Once you’ve cultivated awareness around these thoughts, you can begin to develop the change that you want.

2. Learn to Accept Them as They Come (and Move on)

A lot of people believe that you have to completely remove negative thinking patterns from your life in order to be happy. Not only is this not possible, but it’s also not true. You are going to experience negative thoughts regardless. It’s what you decide to do with these thoughts that matters.

Next time a negative thought comes into your mind, treat it like a passing car. Acknowledge it and let it pass you by. Don’t try to wave the driver over to you or continue thinking about once it has passed. Just let it go.

Giving power to your thoughts allows them to have control over you. You can’t stop a negative thought from entering your mind, but you always have the power to let it go!

3. Challenge Your Negative Thoughts

Our own beliefs play on a loop, telling us certain things over and over again. While it’s important to let go, it is also important to get to the root of these issues and figure out where they are coming from.

Let’s imagine that you are telling yourself you are stupid throughout the day. If you notice this pattern, ask yourself: Does this have any basis in reality? Am I really stupid or am I telling myself this unnecessarily? Is there any evidence to support this[3]?

Advertising

Challenge negative thinking by asking questions.

    Challenging your negative thoughts will help you realize that they are highly-exaggerated and untrue. This gives you the opportunity to transform these negative thoughts into positive ones that resonate with you.

    4. Replace These Thoughts with Kinder, More Realistic Alternatives

    Anything that is broken must be replaced. The broken record playing on a loop within you can easily be changed to a tune that you can actually sing to.

    Whenever a negative thought comes up, take the time to stop yourself and think of something positive to put in its place. If you find yourself saying, “I can’t do this,” try telling yourself that you are more than capable instead.

    Keep in mind, however, that you need to tell yourself things that you truly believe. If you start telling yourself things that don’t resonate with you and encounter a situation that proves your belief wrong, you may do more harm than good!

    Bottom Line

    Changing the way you think is a rigorous but rewarding process that will change your outlook on life. If you find yourself struggling with negative thinking, learn more about where they come from and how you can stop them for good with the guide above!

    More on How to Stop Negative Thinking

    Featured photo credit: Max Ilienerwise via unsplash.com

    Reference

    Read Next