Do you know your value? Before we get into this, I want to begin with a heartbreaking, personal story of a woman I used to know: Mary.
Mary was a quiet woman who mainly kept to herself but was very observant. She watched, she took notes, and, most importantly, she listened. When someone talked to her, she felt as if she gained a piece of their soul as she hung on every last word.
Mary had a dream. She wanted to own a bookstore and discuss novels with customers as they perused the aisles. She imagined offering free coffee and having support groups in the evening where people would gather, connect, and free their souls.
Mary had envisioned her dream in her mind. She had mapped out everything from the color of the walls to the font on her receipts. However, Mary would always say that her dream wasn’t feasible and that it wasn’t realistic. She would ask, “How could someone like me have a life like that?”
Mary dreamed but stopped herself with excuses. She let this resistance stop her from acting and never started to create her dream.
I don’t want you to miss out on your best life like Mary did. She didn’t recognize her value and what she was truly capable of.
This article is here to help you know your self-worth and live better. Here are 3 steps to help you uncover and know your value.
1. Identify the Source of Resistance
There are no limits to what you can achieve and the amount of people you can help when your value is fully exposed. However, how can you truly know your self-worth and how you can impact the world?
It can be incredibly confusing when we have to sift through societal norms, opinions, past events, and circumstances.
This process is similar to an onion, peeling away the layers of resistance that have been piled on you for such a long time.
This is a feat for most people because it is not natural for us to do in this society. Sometimes, we don’t want to face our resistances because we are under this misconception that we are who we were.
It can be exhausting to uncover your worth when it has been hiding away for some time. However, when you discover your worth, you receive peace of mind, certainty, presence – a full life that is true to you.
Letting go can be difficult, but it starts with acknowledging what exactly has been holding you back and keeping you stuck.
For Mary, it was doubt. Mary doubted that she had what it took to achieve her ultimate dream. If she could have let go of doubt and replaced it with faith, then she might have left the world fulfilled, but instead she left with regret.
To get started write down your goal and the reasons you feel you can’t reach it. It could be self-doubt, a lack of specific skills, a lack of funds, or a weak support system.
Once you know what is leading to your resistance, write down three ways you could overcome each of them. It’s okay if these things are long-term or will take a while. The idea is that you realize that you can overcome each thing that you feel is holding you back.
After you begin acknowledging your resistances and letting go of them, you can begin to follow what feels right to achieve your goals and know your value.
2. Follow Your Happiness
Once you have peeled back the layers and removed the resistance that has been holding you back, you can begin to follow your happiness.
Now that you are not affected by the judgement of others, crippled by fear, or [insert your resistance here], you can begin to do what brings you pure joy.
Joy is where you learn to know your value and worth. This is contradictory to how we are used to living because we have been told to work hard, have a family, get a good job, pay our bills, and so on and so forth.
We have work, our relationships, all of our obligations, and then we have our hobby or passion (if there is time left for this).
We put everything before our passion, and then, at the end of the day, we are exhausted and completely drained. And we are surprised that we don’t know our self-worth.
Work then play.
BUT, can we work and play? Can we incorporate joy, happiness, and play into everything we do? Does there have to be a separation between the two?
“Oh, he’s just a broke artist.”
The way I look at it is that he’s the most successful human being on the planet because he does what he loves, he’s fanatical about it, and he’s doing what his heart desires day and night. To me, that’s a life worth living.
I’ll tell you what isn’t a life worth living – working at something you don’t enjoy for the majority of your life to meet society’s expectations.
This can be difficult to overcome. You can start by identifying exactly what brings you the most joy.
Maybe you really do like your job, and you feel it brings value to your life. That’s great! If not, is it one of your hobbies? Do you feel most like yourself when your traveling or painting or helping others?
Identifying your passion is key when you want to know your self-worth and act on it.
You can learn how to find your passion here.
So, whatever it is that brings a smile to your face – follow it everywhere and never leave its side. The rest will come if you learn to let go and ignore the resistances as they present themselves.
3. Stick With It
So, you’ve let go of resistance and have started to follow your happiness. You have begun to do what brings joy into your life every chance that you get, but you’re still not quite sure that you know your value.
The resistances are still showing up, and you have a to-do list to accomplish. It takes time, but slowly and surely, if you let go and follow your smile, a life of value will naturally unfold.
It’s a fact that waiting is hard. According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, “We want immediate gratification or relief from the lack”.
In other words, we let go of our resistances, but we aren’t immediately gaining the life that we desire, and that creates a feeling of lack. Basically, we aren’t attaining what we want fast enough.
But, we have to make this process a way of life: release and follow your happiness.
Don’t look for the answers in anyone except for yourself. If it doesn’t feel right, then investigate why that is. Ask yourself important questions. For example, you can do some self-investigation with questions like:
- Why am I doing what I’m doing?
- How do I feel about these actions?
- Is there something I can change right now?
- What can I do to work toward my future goals?
Don’t put the negativity in a closet for another time – deal with resistance as it shows up or you’ll never know your self-worth. You’ll never let anyone down pursing what you love. The saddest story is one that ends with an unfulfilled dream.
Here’re some tips to help you stick to the changes you want to make: 13 Steps To Stick To the Life Changes You Want To Make
So for the sake of your soul and the other people counting on you – let go and follow your happiness today.
The Bottom Line
If you want to know your value and start feeling good, you have to start creating the life you were meant to live. If you’re unhappy with a job, unable to open yourself up to new relationships, or leaving your hobbies by the wayside, you need to examine what you can do to change things.
Once you’re able to do what brings meaning to your life, you’ll know your value and your worth.
More Tips About Realizing Your Self-Worth
- How to Raise Your Self Worth and Trust Yourself More
- How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)
- How To Be True To You When Life Pulls You Off Track
Featured photo credit: Ammie Ngo via unsplash.com
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