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Last Updated on January 12, 2021

How to Know Yourself and Seek Self Improvement

How to Know Yourself and Seek Self Improvement

Today, most people like the idea about self-improvement. It’s trendy.

But before you can improve yourself, you have to get to know who you are, what you want, and why it’s so crucial to know the answers to those questions.

Once you know who you are, what you stand for, and what you want, then you can go on to work on self-improvement.

This article will take you through the main reasons why you should take the time to get to know yourself, how to get to know yourself, and then finally how to seek self-improvement.

Why You Should Get to Know Yourself

Many people go through life without getting a clear understanding of themselves. There’s a difference between wanting to be someone and then the actions that creates a person. It’s easy to tell people who you are, but can you actually walk the talk?

We have a tendency to brush away our shortcomings and play a certain role that we’ve intentionally or unintentionally created for ourselves. It may work for a while, but it won’t help you achieve anything in the long run.

Yes, you can say you’re a good spouse. People will believe you when they see the picture-perfect image on your office, but if you go home to a different story, it doesn’t really matter.

In the end, the opinion that matters the most are the one we hold about ourselves. A lie will drain you, overwhelm you, and unresolved emotions will resurface.

Maybe you choose a certain path many years ago and now you feel stuck. You look in the mirror and you don’t recognize yourself. The week seems endless and it’s only 7am on a Monday morning.

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These are just examples. It doesn’t mean that only unhappy people need to get know themselves and seek self-improvement. Even if your life is truly as great as it looks like, it’s always worth checking in with yourself.

It’s natural to change throughout life, but too many people are afraid of reacting to this change or realize that the path they once choose may not be right anymore.

Change is scary, but it’s even more scary to ignore your emotions and not react to them. For better or worse – change is the only constant. If you get to know yourself now, then you’ll be able to handle change better. Obviously, you can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it.

There’s no time limit for getting to know yourself or window of opportunity. Remember that:

“Self-improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing.”[1]

You can be at the top of your game to the outside world, but still feel the need to get to know yourself and seek self-improvement.

It’s never too late to get to know yourself, because once you do, then you’ll be ready for whatever comes next. When you know yourself, a new road won’t seem scary because you already know whether you’re planning on turning left or right.

How to Get to Know Yourself

So, it’s settled. It’s a good idea to know this person that you wake up to every morning and look at while brushing your teeth. The person in the mirror that kind of looks the same, but yet somehow seems different over time. Here comes the million dollar question: where do you start?

Unfortunately, there isn’t a quick answer (or solution) to this. It isn’t math. There’s no right or wrong. You can’t find a page with all the secret answers and ace the test.

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Most people will get a better feeling of who they are over time by simply looking back at their previous actions, reactions and decisions. But you can also choose to take an active part of the progress right now.

Here are some active actions you can take to get to know yourself:

1. Increase Your Self-Awareness

It’s all about you now. Let the outside world exist on its own. It’s not about your neighbour or the guy from high school that posted yet another sunny picture from Dubai. It’s not about them.

Take some time to look at yourself. What have you been doing? How do you react to certain situations? What makes you smile?

And if you keep going back to comparing yourself to a specific person, then ask yourself why you’re so fixated on them. Figure yourself out. You’re worth knowing.

If you want to increase your self-awareness, I recommend you take a look at this article:

How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful

2. Face Your Fears

It might seem obvious, but for some reason you keep avoiding that one thing.

A lot of people let fear stand in their way even though they know deep down they have the ability to face it. It’s easy to say of course, but if you manage to overcome your weakness, it will change you for the better. You will learn from it, and you’ll know a whole lot more about your character.

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Not sure how to conquer your fears? This guide can help you:

How to Overcome Your Irrational Fears (That Stop You from Succeeding)

3. Focus on Your Strengths

It’s always a good idea to focus on what you thrive at and nurture it. It will help you become more successful, but you’ll also get a better understanding of yourself as our strengths are a big part of who we are.

Even if you’ve been running towards the wall for a while and your head is really starting to hurt – you’ll always have some strengths in you that you can return to. Go back and focus on them and see where they’ll lead you. Maybe a talent will turn into a career. Maybe a character trait will turn into a new path or relationship.

Now, let’s move on to how to go further and seek self-improvement.

Ryan Holiday said:[2]

”You can’t learn if you think you already know. You will not find the answers if you’re too conceited and self-assured to ask the questions. You cannot get better if you’re convinced you are the best.”

How to Seek Self-Improvement

It’s important to leave ego behind and realize that you’ll never move forward, if you don’t accept that you’re not the best. You can always become better. Maybe you’re currently the best at your job, but you should never stop competing against yourself. It’s not about putting endless pressure on yourself. It’s about keeping yourself in movement.

Maybe you did some soul-searching and you realized that you did choose the right path. That’s great, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to improve yourself. Or maybe you just realized that you want a completely different life. You quit your job, bought a dog and moved to a new city. Great, but you’re not done yet.

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Once you tell yourself you have done what you set out to do, then you’ll run into the same wall that knocked you out in the first place.

Self-improvement is not about putting yourself down. Self-improvement is about lifting yourself up higher. The only way to do that is by accepting that you’re not the best. You can always become better. Even (or maybe especially) if you’re only competing against yourself.

Bonus: 5 Self Improvement Books That You Can’t Miss

Final Thoughts

Self-improvement can be applied to anything from learning a new skill, learning to deal with your anger, or putting yourself in a new situation that scares you. Some people need to change their scenery completely. Some people just need to attend a meeting every Thursday. Others may need to take up a self-defence class to feel in control again.

Sometimes life is not about gaining or achieving. Sometimes life is simply about losing and letting go.

People are capable of doing (almost) everything that the people they admire are doing. You can’t limit yourself by saying you can’t do a specific thing, because you’re you. It all comes down to mind-set and commitment. Get to know yourself and then set out clear goals.

Aristotle once said:

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

More Resources About Personal Growth

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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Reference

More by this author

Maria Jensen

Specializes in personal and professional development.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others & Celebrate Your Uniqueness Your Life Is a Mess? How to Fix It and Turn Things Around 4 Simple Steps to Start Living a Positive Life 7 Signs You’re Ready to Change Your Life (And What to Do Next) Do You Have an Unfulfilled Life? 7 Reasons Why You’re Not Satisfied

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

25 Questions That Help You Understand Yourself and Your True Potential

25 Questions That Help You Understand Yourself and Your True Potential

As you keep up with everything going on in your life – the responsibilities, the obligations, even the distractions – there will be times when you’ll look in the mirror and struggle to recognize yourself. “Where did I go? How can I understand myself better?” you’ll ask, wondering how you’ve ended up where you are. “How did my plans for the future end up so… screwed up?”

When you don’t take the time to understand yourself and who you are, your sense of individuality weakens. You become easily influenced and pushed into a lifestyle that doesn’t represent who you are. The good news is you can gradually transition into the life you want by periodically “checking in” with yourself – the better you understand yourself, the easier it will be to steer your life in the right direction.

Here are 25 questions to get you started. Each answer will shed light on your individuality and unlock your potential:

1. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Make sure you’re really an extrovert and not an introvert in an extrovert’s clothing.

2. What are the top five words that describe your personality?

Highlight your key personality traits and stay true to who you are.

3. Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorganized environment?

Define the ideal work/home environments you’re known to thrive in.

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4. Are you comfortable with taking risks?

Decide how you feel about uncertainty and how you’ll use it to create your ideal lifestyle.

5. Do you work better alone or in a busy environment?

When you know what your most productive work environment consists of, it will help you find (or create) a job that best suits your preferences.

6. What are your strengths?

Define what your strengths are and how you’re going to use them to your advantage.

7. What are your weaknesses?

Acknowledge what you struggle with and how you want to improve.

8. What sets you apart from everyone else?

Know your quirks and charm your ass off with them.

9. Are you motivated by competition?

Define what your ideal competition/collaboration formula is for optimal productivity.

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10. What are your favorite movies/shows/books?

Disregard what’s trending and define the types of movies/shows/books you’ll always enjoy. It speaks volumes of your personality.

11. What’s more important to you – having a career or a family?

Even though you’ll try to have both, we all teeter towards a favorite. Knowing this will help you decide which priority will receive a bigger piece of the pie.

12. Do you embrace rules or rebel against them?

This is a huge determining factor in the type of lifestyle you’ll create for yourself – structured or adventurous? Remember: there are no wrong answers.

13. Are you a morning person or a night person?

Know your energy peaks and valleys for when you’re setting goals.

14. What’s more important to you – saving time or saving money?

This will help you as you’re planning your goals – you’ll know what to outsource and what to take on yourself.

15. What do you lie about and why?

There are certain aspects of ourselves we don’t want anyone else to know about. Knowing why will help you to work through what makes you self-conscious.

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16. Do you say yes (or no) too much?

Saying yes to everything gives you little time for what you truly want to do, while saying no to everything may cause you to miss out on amazing experiences.

17. If money didn’t exist, what would you be doing with your time?

We lose sight of what’s important to us when the bills come due – regain control of what you enjoy doing the most.

18. Are you patient or impatient?

Define whether or not it gets in the way of your goals and what you’re going to do about it.

19. Who makes you feel energized/inspired and exhausted/depleted?

There could be select family members or friends who are holding you back. Decide how you’re going to set boundaries in your relationships.

20. If your home was on fire, what are the three things you’d leave with?

Answering this question will help you let go of the concept that material items will make you feel better as a person.

21. Do you take responsibility for your mistakes?

Blaming others for where your life is will get you nowhere – if anything, it will make you feel stuck. Take responsibility, learn from them, and forgive yourself.

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22. What has to happen before your “real” life starts?

You might think that when you reach a certain goal you’ll feel completely different, but such is not the case – you’ll simply set a new goal and wait for it to happen, and so on, and end up missing out on amazing experiences.

23. What are you avoiding?

We all have certain responsibilities we procrastinate on, but you have to face them eventually. You’ll feel a lot better once you do, and you can move onto the things you actually do care about.

24. Do you easily feel guilty?

You might be feeling stuck because of your years of people-pleasing; meanwhile, the only person you should worry about disappointing is yourself.

25. What do you think you have to lose?

Clearly there’s something holding you back from creating the life you want. Work with it instead of pretending it’s not there.

These questions can inspire you to reflect on yourself. Check in with yourself often and you will be amazed by the true potential you actually have.

More Self-Reflective Questions

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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