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25 Questions That Help You Understand Yourself and Unlock Your Potential

25 Questions That Help You Understand Yourself and Unlock Your Potential

As you keep up with everything going on in your life – the responsibilities, the obligations, even the distractions – there will be times when you’ll look in the mirror and struggle to recognize yourself. “Where did I go?” you’ll ask, wondering how you’ve ended up where you are. “How did my plans for the future end up so… screwed up?”

When you don’t take the time to understand yourself and who you are, your sense of individuality weakens. You become easily influenced and pushed into a lifestyle that doesn’t represent who you are. The good news is you can gradually transition into the life you want by periodically “checking in” with yourself – the better you understand yourself, the easier it will be to steer your life in the right direction.

Here are 25 questions to get you started. Each answer will shed light on your individuality and unlock your potential:

1. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Make sure you’re really an extrovert and not an introvert in an extrovert’s clothing.

2. What are the top five words that describe your personality?

Highlight your key personality traits and stay true to who you are.

3. Are you comfortable or uncomfortable in a disorganized environment?

Define the ideal work/home environments you’re known to thrive in.

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4. Are you comfortable with taking risks?

Decide how you feel about uncertainty and how you’ll use it to create your ideal lifestyle.

5. Do you work better alone or in a busy environment?

When you know what your most productive work environment consists of, it will help you find (or create) a job that best suits your preferences.

6. What are your strengths?

Define what your strengths are and how you’re going to use them to your advantage.

7. What are your weaknesses?

Acknowledge what you struggle with and how you want to improve.

8. What sets you apart from everyone else?

Know your quirks and charm your ass off with them.

9. Are you motivated by competition?

Define what your ideal competition/collaboration formula is for optimal productivity.

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10. What are your favorite movies/shows/books?

Disregard what’s trending and define the types of movies/shows/books you’ll always enjoy. It speaks volumes of your personality.

11. What’s more important to you – having a career or a family?

Even though you’ll try to have both, we all teeter towards a favorite. Knowing this will help you decide which priority will receive a bigger piece of the pie.

12. Do you embrace rules or rebel against them?

This is a huge determining factor in the type of lifestyle you’ll create for yourself – structured or adventurous? Remember: there are no wrong answers.

13. Are you a morning person or a night person?

Know your energy peaks and valleys for when you’re setting goals.

14. What’s more important to you – saving time or saving money?

This will help you as you’re planning your goals – you’ll know what to outsource and what to take on yourself.

15. What do you lie about and why?

There are certain aspects of ourselves we don’t want anyone else to know about. Knowing why will help you to work through what makes you self-conscious.

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16. Do you say yes (or no) too much?

Saying yes to everything gives you little time for what you truly want to do, while saying no to everything may cause you to miss out on amazing experiences.

17. If money didn’t exist, what would you be doing with your time?

We lose sight of what’s important to us when the bills come due – regain control of what you enjoy doing the most.

18. Are you patient or impatient?

Define whether or not it gets in the way of your goals and what you’re going to do about it.

19. Who makes you feel energized/inspired and exhausted/depleted?

There could be select family members or friends who are holding you back. Decide how you’re going to set boundaries in your relationships.

20. If your home was on fire, what are the three things you’d leave with?

Answering this question will help you let go of the concept that material items will make you feel better as a person.

21. Do you take responsibility for your mistakes?

Blaming others for where your life is will get you nowhere – if anything, it will make you feel stuck. Take responsibility, learn from them, and forgive yourself.

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22. What has to happen before your “real” life starts?

You might think that when you reach a certain goal you’ll feel completely different, but such is not the case – you’ll simply set a new goal and wait for it to happen, and so on, and end up missing out on amazing experiences.

23. What are you avoiding?

We all have certain responsibilities we procrastinate on, but you have to face them eventually. You’ll feel a lot better once you do, and you can move onto the things you actually do care about.

24. Do you easily feel guilty?

You might be feeling stuck because of your years of people-pleasing; meanwhile, the only person you should worry about disappointing is yourself.

25. What do you think you have to lose?

Clearly there’s something holding you back from creating the life you want. Work with it instead of pretending it’s not there.

How often do you check in with yourself? What questions would you add to this list?


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Krissy Brady

A women's health & wellness writer with a short-term goal to leave women feeling a little more empowered and a little less verklempt.

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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