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How to Make a Relationship Last (Given That 50% of Couples End up in Divorce)

How to Make a Relationship Last (Given That 50% of Couples End up in Divorce)

Seems hard to believe, right? If half of all marriages end in divorce, the odds seem to be against you and your partner (or future partner). Don’t start questioning everything just yet, there’s still hope.

Turns out there’s a reason relationships tend not to last.

When you meet somebody new or have a new experience, your brain releases opioids. These feel good chemicals make you feel like you’re on top of the world. Think about the first time you kissed your significant other – amazing, right? Now that you’ve kissed at least a hundred times, does it still feel the same? Probably not. That’s because that exciting feeling tends to go away after having the same experience time and time again.

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The same thing happens in a long term relationship. In other words, the passion starts to fade.

You can stop boredom from happening in your long term relationship.

Don’t just start looking for a new partner. The same problem is bound to occur no matter who you’re with. Some great relationship advice is to learn about the 5 stages of love and why so many people never make it past stage 3. If you can make it past that stage, you hav e a chance at making your relationship last. This is only true if you’re willing to put in some effort.

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Follow this relationship advice to make your relationship last.

Ask yourself some questions.

When you start to doubt your relationship because the spark has begun to fade, it’s time to ask yourself some very important questions. How did the relationship start? How often do you laugh together? Can you remember the most romantic moment the two of you have shared? Reflecting on these questions can help you remember what you love about your significant other.

Never stop pretending that you’re in a new relationship.

You’ve probably fallen into the rut of the same old routine everyday. Stop that! Remember when you’re relationship was new? Everything was different and exciting. It can still be that way. Recreate your first date or come up with some new date ideas. Don’t forget the power of holding hands. Take yourself back to the feeling of falling in love. Keep everyday fresh and new to keep the passion alive.

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Remember all the little details.

Being in a long term relationship doesn’t give you permission to stop putting in effort. In fact, the opposite is true. If you feel like you’re getting bored with your partner, take this relationship advice: do things together. Whether it’s finding things to do on the weekend or coming up with cheap and fun date ideas – staying busy keeps boredom at bay. Are you low on cash? That’s still no excuse. You can find plenty of fun things to do at home. One of the most import ant details you can remember is your anniversary. Make it special with some fun anniversary ideas that will bring the two of you closer together and make a memory you’ll never forget.

Don’t forget about things outside of your relationship.

Even though you’re in a long term relationship, it doesn’t take away from the fact that you are an individual. Some of the best relationship advice out there is to never let go of your independence or who you were before you got together with your significant other. If you used to love painting, taking pictures, or hiking – make sure to keep doing those things. Don’t give up your hobbies just because your partner doesn’t like those things. Remember, you don’t have to do everything with them.

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A lot of us tend to spend less time with our friends when we start a new relationship. That’s normal, but you shouldn’t forget about them completely. Try to make some time in your life to be with your friends. Just as romantic relationships take effort, so too do friendships. Tired of going to the same old pub with your friends? Try some great, low cost activities together.

Take the relationship advice mentioned here. You’ll feel better in your relationship and the two of you will stand a better chance at beating the odds.

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It How to Know If You’re Really in Love or Not (Yes It Can Be Confusing) Why You and Your Partner Don’t Need to Speak the Same Love Language to Stay Together Why Worrying About Losing a Friend Is Unnecessary No.1 Relationship Killer: Your Good Intention to Advise Your Partner When They’re Upset

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Last Updated on April 1, 2019

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

When we talk about happiness, we often think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity. Many try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as their ultimate goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from them.

But, what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”?

It’s a lot like your favorite food. The more often you have it isn’t always better. On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite. So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it?

Always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.

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Video Summary

Don’t Assume Others Are Always Happy

Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time. Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales. On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives. So, it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us.

In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant.

No one has a perfect life. Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires have their own set of challenges and problems.

When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve. As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time. During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals. But, I got through them; and, weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs.

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You need to keep your sights on the extended curve.  Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time now seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile!

Stop Trying to Be Happy–Just Be

It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible.

So what can we do?

First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness. Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect. It’s through experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing similar trials. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize. If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.

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To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness.

It sounds like a paradox. But, what I mean is to accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life. Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events.

Understand the importance of gratitude. Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment, flash back your memory to when you didn’t have something. I like to think about my career, for example. When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated. I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me. But, when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful! This memory keeps me going when I hit tough spots. It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.

Happiness and Sadness Exist Together

What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments–happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories. But, your life will also be filled with rain and storms that never seem like they will pass while you’re going through them.

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But, whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.

Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones. Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”. In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements. Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.

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