Advertising
Advertising

5 Ways To Keep Passion Alive In Relationships

5 Ways To Keep Passion Alive In Relationships

Why does it seem like as the years go by, the stress of life seems to just take over? We all face the stress of life and with this stress, our relationships can be affected . We are constantly making choices every single day. Some choices bring us closer to our partner while other choices bring us further apart. Before I share with you the top 5 ways to keeping passion alive in your relationship, I want to share with you my definition of passion: a deep and driving desire to fulfill a purpose that is caused by reason. In this case, we are talking about passion in your relationship. You must experience a deep and driving desire to fulfill a purpose that is caused by reason. Your purpose is to have a passionate relationship. Now, the question that I have for you is this: what is your reason?

1. Find your reason

When it comes to finding a reason to keep passion alive in your relationship, it all starts with how you feel about your partner. What are the positive traits that you most admire and respect about your partner? What attracted you to them in the first place? When a relationship develops and grows, it’s important for you to always keep in mind what brought you two together. When you are able to find out the reason behind keeping the passion alive in your relationship, you will always keep this reason in mind. When it comes to building a strong foundation in your relationship, it starts from the bottom up. Finding out your reason is where it all begins!

Advertising

2. Goals!

Have short and long term goals that the both of you can work on together. A lot of couples get into a rut of just doing their own thing. When you are able to work together towards a common goal, not only will you be spending quality of time together but also establishing a solid foundation for your relationship. Take the time with your partner and create goals that you want to accomplish together. This may be publishing a book or running a marathon. The importance of having and accomplishing goals together is that it allows you to spend time developing your relationship. Have goals that you are both passionate about. My husband and I are very passionate about our marriage. So one of our goals is to write and publish a book about what it takes to have a happy and long-lasting marriage. Find out what you two are passionate about and make goals to accomplish your passions!

Advertising

3. Know when to “turn off” work mode

After coming home from a long day of work, a lot of us just plop in front of the television. This will definitely not do you or your relationship any good.  One way to keep passion alive in your relationship is to be able to turn “off” work mode and be with your partner. When it comes having a stressful job, it’s easy to just get into this cycle of constantly thinking about work and getting burnt out. If you want to keep passion alive in your relationship, you need to make sure that when you are at home with your partner, you are with your partnerWhen you are at work, be at work. When you are at home, be at home. We tend to miss out on spending quality of time with our partner because our mind is still at work. Make sure that your mind is with your partner when you are at home.

Advertising

4. Go the extra mile

Men and women are different. When you have a clear understanding of these differences, make sure you go the extra mile in expressing your love. Find out the love language of your partner and express their love language every single day. If you want to keep the passion alive in your relationship, it takes work. It takes planning and going the extra mile when it comes to loving your partner. Find out how your partner feels most loved and make sure you express your love every day. When we get into the “rat race” it seems like going the extra mile takes effort and time. This effort and time will be what makes all the difference. When you take the time and effort of going the extra mile of loving your partner, you are establishing that strong foundation. You are expressing to your partner that you care and that you want to be connected with them. Going the extra mile is a great way to keep passion alive in your relationship.

5. Commitment

Commit to keeping the passion alive in your relationship. Make the mental decision that no matter what happens in life, you are 100% committed to keeping the passion alive. Having this commitment will be important during the rough times especially when life throws you curve balls. No matter what type of stress or frustration you experience, be committed to always expressing your love and affection to your partner.

Advertising

More by this author

Tiffany Mason

Tiffany is a life coach empowering women to unleash their feminine essence & design a meaningful life & marriage.

4 Simple Steps To Track Your Progress Towards Your Goals 9 Ways to Reach Your Full Potential Every Day 5 Reasons Why You Should Always Be Who You Are 7 Ways To Train Yourself To Be More Mindful 7 Things You Should Do To Stay Balanced And Happy When You’re Busy

Trending in Communication

1 11 Facts About Volunteering That Will Surely Impress You 2 How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them) 3 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 4 The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You 5 The Purpose Of Friendship: The Only 4 Types Of Friends You Need In Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

Advertising

It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

Advertising

Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

Advertising

1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

Advertising

6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Read Next