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8 Body Language Mistakes Successful People Never Make

8 Body Language Mistakes Successful People Never Make

Body language is a breeze to figure out. Right? If someone is crossing their arms, they are probably closed off to the conversation and have no interest in continuing to talk. If someone is leaning in close to you while sitting beside you, they probably have romantic interest in you. While how to understand body language has been a topic of interest for eons, you may still be making assumptions when it comes to reading people. And those mistakes could be standing in the way of your success.

Successful People Know How Body Language Can Affect Their Success So They Never Make These 8 Mistakes

Depending on the study, non-verbal communication (i.e. body language) counts between 75% and 90% of our communication. That’s a huge percentage. So even if you think you know the basics, you could be making non-verbal mistakes on a daily basis that are detrimental to your career success.[1]

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1. Close-talking/space-evading

When you have a professional conversation with a coworker or boss, how close are you to them, physically? If you put your hand out in front of you, would you touch them? If so, you’re standing too close. That would mean you’re probably about .0 to 18 inches apart, and that should only be used for an intimate relationship in which it would be normal to embrace, touch and even whisper. So when speaking to a coworker, keep 4 to 12 feet in between you.[2]

2. Inappropriate Eye Contact

Eye contact is so important, but getting it right can be challenging. In the US, the appropriate amount of eye contact comes in at about 60%. So, if you’re listening to someone talk, you’re looking into their eyes 60% of the time and looking away (at your notes or a presentation) the rest of the time. Anything more than that is intimidating, so unless you’re in law enforcement, stick to 60%.

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But where you look matters. If you’re boring holes into the other person’s pupils, that can be a bit much. Proper eye contact at work is made in the upside down triangular area on someone’s face (eyebrow to eyebrow to the nose and back to the eyebrows).

3. Handshakes without the upper hand

While I am a strong believer in a firm handshake, there are still right and wrong ways to do it. Have you ever been introduced to someone, either personally or professionally, who shook hands with you by sandwiching your hand between both of theirs? It’s awkward, and they literally have the upper hand. So if you do this, whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re sending a message to that person that you have the upper hand.

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4. Too-obvious mirroring

We have always been drawn to people who resemble us, either in physically appearance or lifestyle. If you’re hoping to gain acceptance from someone like a potential boss, you can mirror their body language, posture or tone of voice to subtly create rapport. But like eye contact, this trick requires some knowledge. If you are too obvious about what you’re doing, it comes off phony and pretty bizarre. A good rule of thumb is to create about a three second delay before you start mirroring the other person.

5. Leaning back/Slouching

I used to work with someone who constantly slouched back in their chair and occasionally seemed ready to melt into the floor below them. It was an interesting choice, since it basically announced to the world, “I don’t care about what I’m doing here. I have no interest in my work!” While it’s also pretty awful for your spine, leaning back in your chair, especially when speaking to someone, comes off as dismissive and distracted.

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Slouching is just as bad. You look weak and tired/lazy. Sit with your back and shoulders straight. You’ll look better and more capable, and you’ll also feel better! [3]

6. Exaggerated Gestures

I talk with my hands. What about you? Being an animated talker is part of what keeps people interested in what I have to say, but there’s a fine line between being animated and being over-the-top. When you gesture dramatically and get carried away, you come off obnoxious and semi-arrogant. If you aren’t sure if you’re coming off as passionate or annoying, tell your friend to record you the next time you meet for coffee. If watching it makes you cringe, you should probably work on toning it down.

7. Arm Crossing

Even though this is one of the most commonly discussed body language actions, it’s important to stay aware of it. Sometimes I cross my arms because I start thinking about the top I’m wearing and if I look bad. Other times, I do it because the office is absolutely freezing and I’m trying to keep warm. While we don’t always cross our arms because we are defensive or closed off, that’s still how it comes across. Practice letting your arms stay by your sides, or even stick one of your hands in your back pocket while listening to someone. The more opened your shoulders are, the more interested and inviting you seem.[4]

8. Fidgeting

Fidgeting (playing with your hair, tapping your foot or pens, adjusting and readjusting your clothes) is irritating to those around you, but it also makes you look unprepared and anxious. I get really distracted really easily, so when I’m in meetings, I take copious notes or even doodle subtly while I listen. It helps me feel like I’m not just sitting there being still while still focusing my attention properly.

Reference

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Heather Poole

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Last Updated on December 7, 2018

10 Steps For Success: Applying The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind

10 Steps For Success: Applying The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind

How big is the gap between you and your success?

What is the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people?

It is as simple as this: successful people think and talk about what they are creating, and unsuccessful people focus on and talk about what they’re lacking.

So how do you bridge that gap between wanting success and having your success? Let’s make an important distinction. You see, there is a big difference between “Wanting” and “Having” something.

Wanting: means lacking or absent. Deficient in some part, thing or aspect.

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Having: means to possess, to hold, to get, to receive, to experience.

You can have one OR the other, but not both at the same time with any particular object of your desire. You either have it or you don’t.

When it comes to your subconscious, if you’re focusing on the “wanting”, i.e. the not having, guess what, you will build stronger neural networks in your brain around the “wanting.” However, through the power of your subconscious mind, you can focus on the “having” as if it has already happened. Research has shown that your brain doesn’t know the difference between what you’re visualizing inside your mind versus what is happening out there in your reality.

This is a regular practice of elite athletes. They spend as much timing creating the internal mental imagery of their success playing out as they do actually physically practicing. This helps create both the neural pathways in their brain and the muscle memory to consistently deliver on that success.

Here are 10 “brain hack” steps for success that you can take to create your version of a happy life. Make these steps a regular habit, and you will be astonished at the results.

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Step 1: Decide exactly what you want to create and have

This is usually the biggest problem that people have. They don’t know what they want and then they’re surprised when they don’t get it.

Step 2: Write down your goal clearly in every technicolor detail

A goal that is not written down is merely a wish. When you write it down in full detail, you signal to your subconscious mind that you really want to accomplish this particular goal.

Step 3: Write your goal in simple, present tense words

…that a three year old can understand on a three-by-five index card and carry it with you. Read it each morning after you awake and just before you go to sleep.

Step 4: Backwards planning

See your goal achieved and identify all the steps required that it took to bring it to life. Making a list of all these steps intensifies your desire and deepens your belief that the attainment of the goal is already happening.

Step 5: Resolve to take at least one step every day from one of the items on your list

Do something every day, even if it is just one baby step, that moves you toward your goal so you can maintain your momentum.

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Step 6: Visualize your goal repeatedly

See it in your mind’s eye as though it were already a reality. The more clear and vivid your mental picture of your goal, the faster it will come into your life.

Step 7: Feel the feeling of success as if your goal were realized at this very moment

Feel the emotion of happiness, satisfaction, and pleasure that you would have once you have achieved your goal. Visualize and feel this success for at least 20 seconds at a time.

Step 8: “Fake it till you make it!”

Confidently behave as if your subconscious mind was already bringing your goal into reality. Accept that you are moving toward your goal and it is moving toward you.

Step 9: Relax your mind

Take time to breathe, pray or mediate each day. Disengage the stress response and engage the relaxation response. A quiet state of mind allows your brain to access newly formed neural pathways.

Step 10: Release your goal to your subconscious mind

When you turn your goal over to the power of the universe and just get out of the way, you will always know the right actions to take at the right time.

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Starting today, try tapping into the incredible power of your subconscious mind.Start with just one goal or idea, and practice it continually until you succeed in achieving that goal. Make it a game and have fun with it! The more lightly you hold it, the easier it will be to achieve. By doing so, you will move from the “positive thinking” of the hopeful person to the “positive knowing” of the totally successful person.

Hit reply and let me know what you’re creating!

To your success!

Featured photo credit: use-your-brain-markgraf via mrg.bz

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