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3 Warning Signs It’s Time To End The Relationship, Even If It Hurts

3 Warning Signs It’s Time To End The Relationship, Even If It Hurts

First, you’re madly in love, your head spinning with big hopes and plans for the future. But when that stage of the relationship has ended, it’s time to start evaluating whether you and your honey are compatible long term. Have you ever known someone who never seemed to stop complaining about a significant other and who seemed more annoyed by their partner than fulfilled? Have you ever wondered why they were still with them? There are many reasons people decide to stay in a relationship even though it no longer makes them happy. Sometimes, they don’t even realize they’re clinging to something that has been long dead. Here are 3 warning signs that mark a relationship is approaching its swan song.

1. You don’t feel excited about the relationship anymore, only obligated to stay.

There are several reasons you might feel an obligation to stay with your partner: kids, financial security, guilt. Answer this simple question: do you enjoy being with your partner and why are you with them? If you have trouble answering that question, or if you find that your answer has less to do with love and more to do with obligation, then it may be time to leave.Remember it’s not just you who is negatively affected in staying in a relationship; your partner will feel it in some shape or form too.

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2. You think that what you have is better than nothing.

This is a fear-based relationship, not one based on love and companionship. If this is how you feel, then you’re probably just afraid to be alone. Really, if you’re not ready to be alone with yourself, then you’re not ready to be in a relationship anyways. Instead of fearing loneliness, embrace the time you have between relationships and use it as an opportunity to better yourself. Remember that you’re far more likely to be miserable in a sad relationship than you are without a partner at all.

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3. You spend more time complaining about what you have than being appreciative.

This is a definite sign that somewhere deep down, you feel like your just settling. This doesn’t have to mean that your partner is a bad person or hasn’t tried to make the relationship work; it doesn’t even mean that you don’t still love them in some way. We’re all very different and each of us has our own ideal partner; we look for that person in each new relationship, hoping that each will bring us to our soul mate. It can be hard to accept that we haven’t found them yet. Here’s some food for thought. If you don’t feel that your partner is right for you, odds are that your partner may feel the same way on some level. The best thing that the two of you can do for one another when you feel this way, especially if you do love each other, is to let the relationship go.

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Never discount a failed relationship as a waste of time. Every new person we meet, every fresh romance, and every heartbreak teaches us something new and opens up opportunities for self-improvement and self-love. Work on being grateful for the time you spent with previous partners, even if the experience made you unhappy. Life is a learning experience and it takes practice for us to learn how to be in a relationship and with whom. Know when it’s time to move on and if you do, do it with grace and love. You don’t deserve to be with somebody who’s doing you more harm than good any more than they deserve to be with you when you really don’t want to be there. Don’t be afraid of change and you’ll meet the right person in time.

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Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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