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3 Warning Signs It’s Time To End The Relationship, Even If It Hurts

3 Warning Signs It’s Time To End The Relationship, Even If It Hurts

First, you’re madly in love, your head spinning with big hopes and plans for the future. But when that stage of the relationship has ended, it’s time to start evaluating whether you and your honey are compatible long term. Have you ever known someone who never seemed to stop complaining about a significant other and who seemed more annoyed by their partner than fulfilled? Have you ever wondered why they were still with them? There are many reasons people decide to stay in a relationship even though it no longer makes them happy. Sometimes, they don’t even realize they’re clinging to something that has been long dead. Here are 3 warning signs that mark a relationship is approaching its swan song.

1. You don’t feel excited about the relationship anymore, only obligated to stay.

There are several reasons you might feel an obligation to stay with your partner: kids, financial security, guilt. Answer this simple question: do you enjoy being with your partner and why are you with them? If you have trouble answering that question, or if you find that your answer has less to do with love and more to do with obligation, then it may be time to leave.Remember it’s not just you who is negatively affected in staying in a relationship; your partner will feel it in some shape or form too.

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2. You think that what you have is better than nothing.

This is a fear-based relationship, not one based on love and companionship. If this is how you feel, then you’re probably just afraid to be alone. Really, if you’re not ready to be alone with yourself, then you’re not ready to be in a relationship anyways. Instead of fearing loneliness, embrace the time you have between relationships and use it as an opportunity to better yourself. Remember that you’re far more likely to be miserable in a sad relationship than you are without a partner at all.

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3. You spend more time complaining about what you have than being appreciative.

This is a definite sign that somewhere deep down, you feel like your just settling. This doesn’t have to mean that your partner is a bad person or hasn’t tried to make the relationship work; it doesn’t even mean that you don’t still love them in some way. We’re all very different and each of us has our own ideal partner; we look for that person in each new relationship, hoping that each will bring us to our soul mate. It can be hard to accept that we haven’t found them yet. Here’s some food for thought. If you don’t feel that your partner is right for you, odds are that your partner may feel the same way on some level. The best thing that the two of you can do for one another when you feel this way, especially if you do love each other, is to let the relationship go.

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Never discount a failed relationship as a waste of time. Every new person we meet, every fresh romance, and every heartbreak teaches us something new and opens up opportunities for self-improvement and self-love. Work on being grateful for the time you spent with previous partners, even if the experience made you unhappy. Life is a learning experience and it takes practice for us to learn how to be in a relationship and with whom. Know when it’s time to move on and if you do, do it with grace and love. You don’t deserve to be with somebody who’s doing you more harm than good any more than they deserve to be with you when you really don’t want to be there. Don’t be afraid of change and you’ll meet the right person in time.

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Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on October 17, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Final thoughts

It will probably seem really scary at first to get out of your comfort zone. But as I said, you don’t need to jump right out of your comfort zone at once, you can take baby steps gradually. As you slowly push past your comfort zone, you’ll feel more and more at ease about the new stuff which seems so dangerous to you.

Take the first step and I’m sure you’ll make it!

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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