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3 Warning Signs It’s Time To End The Relationship, Even If It Hurts

3 Warning Signs It’s Time To End The Relationship, Even If It Hurts

First, you’re madly in love, your head spinning with big hopes and plans for the future. But when that stage of the relationship has ended, it’s time to start evaluating whether you and your honey are compatible long term. Have you ever known someone who never seemed to stop complaining about a significant other and who seemed more annoyed by their partner than fulfilled? Have you ever wondered why they were still with them? There are many reasons people decide to stay in a relationship even though it no longer makes them happy. Sometimes, they don’t even realize they’re clinging to something that has been long dead. Here are 3 warning signs that mark a relationship is approaching its swan song.

1. You don’t feel excited about the relationship anymore, only obligated to stay.

There are several reasons you might feel an obligation to stay with your partner: kids, financial security, guilt. Answer this simple question: do you enjoy being with your partner and why are you with them? If you have trouble answering that question, or if you find that your answer has less to do with love and more to do with obligation, then it may be time to leave.Remember it’s not just you who is negatively affected in staying in a relationship; your partner will feel it in some shape or form too.

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2. You think that what you have is better than nothing.

This is a fear-based relationship, not one based on love and companionship. If this is how you feel, then you’re probably just afraid to be alone. Really, if you’re not ready to be alone with yourself, then you’re not ready to be in a relationship anyways. Instead of fearing loneliness, embrace the time you have between relationships and use it as an opportunity to better yourself. Remember that you’re far more likely to be miserable in a sad relationship than you are without a partner at all.

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3. You spend more time complaining about what you have than being appreciative.

This is a definite sign that somewhere deep down, you feel like your just settling. This doesn’t have to mean that your partner is a bad person or hasn’t tried to make the relationship work; it doesn’t even mean that you don’t still love them in some way. We’re all very different and each of us has our own ideal partner; we look for that person in each new relationship, hoping that each will bring us to our soul mate. It can be hard to accept that we haven’t found them yet. Here’s some food for thought. If you don’t feel that your partner is right for you, odds are that your partner may feel the same way on some level. The best thing that the two of you can do for one another when you feel this way, especially if you do love each other, is to let the relationship go.

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Never discount a failed relationship as a waste of time. Every new person we meet, every fresh romance, and every heartbreak teaches us something new and opens up opportunities for self-improvement and self-love. Work on being grateful for the time you spent with previous partners, even if the experience made you unhappy. Life is a learning experience and it takes practice for us to learn how to be in a relationship and with whom. Know when it’s time to move on and if you do, do it with grace and love. You don’t deserve to be with somebody who’s doing you more harm than good any more than they deserve to be with you when you really don’t want to be there. Don’t be afraid of change and you’ll meet the right person in time.

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Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on June 19, 2019

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

2. Trust the Muse

Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

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When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

“The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

3. Remember to Be Authentic

Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

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How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

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Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

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6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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