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3 Warning Signs It’s Time To End The Relationship, Even If It Hurts

3 Warning Signs It’s Time To End The Relationship, Even If It Hurts

First, you’re madly in love, your head spinning with big hopes and plans for the future. But when that stage of the relationship has ended, it’s time to start evaluating whether you and your honey are compatible long term. Have you ever known someone who never seemed to stop complaining about a significant other and who seemed more annoyed by their partner than fulfilled? Have you ever wondered why they were still with them? There are many reasons people decide to stay in a relationship even though it no longer makes them happy. Sometimes, they don’t even realize they’re clinging to something that has been long dead. Here are 3 warning signs that mark a relationship is approaching its swan song.

1. You don’t feel excited about the relationship anymore, only obligated to stay.

There are several reasons you might feel an obligation to stay with your partner: kids, financial security, guilt. Answer this simple question: do you enjoy being with your partner and why are you with them? If you have trouble answering that question, or if you find that your answer has less to do with love and more to do with obligation, then it may be time to leave.Remember it’s not just you who is negatively affected in staying in a relationship; your partner will feel it in some shape or form too.

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2. You think that what you have is better than nothing.

This is a fear-based relationship, not one based on love and companionship. If this is how you feel, then you’re probably just afraid to be alone. Really, if you’re not ready to be alone with yourself, then you’re not ready to be in a relationship anyways. Instead of fearing loneliness, embrace the time you have between relationships and use it as an opportunity to better yourself. Remember that you’re far more likely to be miserable in a sad relationship than you are without a partner at all.

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3. You spend more time complaining about what you have than being appreciative.

This is a definite sign that somewhere deep down, you feel like your just settling. This doesn’t have to mean that your partner is a bad person or hasn’t tried to make the relationship work; it doesn’t even mean that you don’t still love them in some way. We’re all very different and each of us has our own ideal partner; we look for that person in each new relationship, hoping that each will bring us to our soul mate. It can be hard to accept that we haven’t found them yet. Here’s some food for thought. If you don’t feel that your partner is right for you, odds are that your partner may feel the same way on some level. The best thing that the two of you can do for one another when you feel this way, especially if you do love each other, is to let the relationship go.

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Never discount a failed relationship as a waste of time. Every new person we meet, every fresh romance, and every heartbreak teaches us something new and opens up opportunities for self-improvement and self-love. Work on being grateful for the time you spent with previous partners, even if the experience made you unhappy. Life is a learning experience and it takes practice for us to learn how to be in a relationship and with whom. Know when it’s time to move on and if you do, do it with grace and love. You don’t deserve to be with somebody who’s doing you more harm than good any more than they deserve to be with you when you really don’t want to be there. Don’t be afraid of change and you’ll meet the right person in time.

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Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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