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7 Reasons To Make Room For Personal Space In Your Relationship

7 Reasons To Make Room For Personal Space In Your Relationship

“You’re smothering me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t even get into the bathtub without you finding six things you need to talk to me about. You’re always texting me when I’m out with my friends, wondering when I’ll be home. There’s always some emergency that I have to go home right now and clean up. I feel like I can’t breathe!”

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“I just want to be around you. Is that such a horrible thing?”

“No…but we need some time apart, too. There’s such a thing as too much.”

Does this sound familiar? If it does, then this article is for you!

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Personal space is a necessity, not a luxury. Being with your partner is great, but neither side should feel the need to be “joined at the hip,” either. Understanding how and why personal space is important is a key to creating a happy, balanced relationship. Here are 6 reasons for you to make room for personal space in your relationship that will help you achieve that balance you crave.

Individuality is important to happiness.

No matter how much you resemble your mother, father, identical cousin twice removed, or anyone else, you are an individual. Being an individual and being able to “do your own thing” means being a happier and more fully realized person in your own right.

Being together all the time can suffocate a relationship.

Everyone needs time to themselves, and to be themselves. We usually try harder to be something “more” than we are when our significant other/spouse is present. While this seems like a good thing, spending too much time together without having outside interests and desires can be the kiss of death for a relationship. Keeping the spark going in your romance means not smothering it by spending too much time together.

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Personal space is vital to being oneself.

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    Being able to engage in outside interests is a good way to develop a stronger sense of self, which leads to the discovery of one’s desires and dreams. This is important because it fosters trust and communication between partners.

    Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

    It’s not healthy to spend too much time together. If you’re constantly worrying about whether you (or your partner) is about to say or do something embarrassing with your friends or elsewhere, this is a sure sign that you’re spending too much time together. Another warning sign is feeling like you can’t trust your partner to fend for him or herself without you for an hour. This is a warning sign of a co-dependent relationship, and such relationships can turn toxic very quickly.

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    Separating yourself from your relationship is healthy.

    You didn’t spring into being fully formed. You were a person before you met your significant other. No matter how much you love that person, you owe it to yourself to be an individual now that you’re with them as well. The worst mistake anyone can make in a relationship is to define oneself solely in terms of the relationship. Remember, your parents gave you a name, but you made yourself who and what you are to a large degree. Honor yourself by keeping your own sense of identity within your relationship. “Significant other” is not a name, and it certainly doesn’t relay everything there is to know about you!

    Being individuals will make you both a stronger couple.

    How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

      Having outside interests and friends is an important part of strengthening your relationship. As long as you’re both coming home to be with each other, you should be free to cultivate your own life beyond the relationship as well as within it. If you’re together all the time, what is there to talk about? You can play the “remember when?” game, but that gets old quickly. It’s much more fun to hear what your significant other/spouse did today, and tell them what you did as well. This keeps communication open and builds a stronger, more loving and trusting relationship.

      Remember that everyone is different.

      You don’t automatically have to enjoy the same things your significant other does. In fact, trying to force yourself to do so is committing treason against your own person. Don’t be afraid to tell your lover, “I’d really rather not sit through Les Mis again, and I know you don’t enjoy my reading club. So while I’m at the reading club, why don’t you have [insert friend’s name here] over and you can watch it?” This is a reasonable and mature way of reconciling two interests that don’t mesh, so both of you get what you want.

      Having personal space is the key to a successful relationship, and not having it can doom a relationship faster than anything. Remember to give both yourself and your chosen mate time and space to be who and what you are without the other. It may be the greatest gift you can offer one another.

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      Last Updated on June 13, 2019

      How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

      How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

      Think you have a boring life?

      The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

      Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

      1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

      What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

      Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

      2. Go Play with Kids

      Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

      They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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      3. Order a Hot Dog

      While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

      4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

      Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

      5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

      You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

      You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

      6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

      Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

      Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

      7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

      Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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      What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

      8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

      You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

      9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

      Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

      10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

      We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

      11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

      It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

      12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

      This will give you something to look forward to.

      Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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      13. People Watch

      Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

      People are infinitely interesting.

      14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

      Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

      15. Dance

      You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

      If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

      16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

      This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

      17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

      Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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      18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

      Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

      19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

      OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

      20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

      This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

      Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

      Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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      Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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