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7 Reasons To Make Room For Personal Space In Your Relationship

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7 Reasons To Make Room For Personal Space In Your Relationship

“You’re smothering me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t even get into the bathtub without you finding six things you need to talk to me about. You’re always texting me when I’m out with my friends, wondering when I’ll be home. There’s always some emergency that I have to go home right now and clean up. I feel like I can’t breathe!”

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“I just want to be around you. Is that such a horrible thing?”

“No…but we need some time apart, too. There’s such a thing as too much.”

Does this sound familiar? If it does, then this article is for you!

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Personal space is a necessity, not a luxury. Being with your partner is great, but neither side should feel the need to be “joined at the hip,” either. Understanding how and why personal space is important is a key to creating a happy, balanced relationship. Here are 6 reasons for you to make room for personal space in your relationship that will help you achieve that balance you crave.

Individuality is important to happiness.

No matter how much you resemble your mother, father, identical cousin twice removed, or anyone else, you are an individual. Being an individual and being able to “do your own thing” means being a happier and more fully realized person in your own right.

Being together all the time can suffocate a relationship.

Everyone needs time to themselves, and to be themselves. We usually try harder to be something “more” than we are when our significant other/spouse is present. While this seems like a good thing, spending too much time together without having outside interests and desires can be the kiss of death for a relationship. Keeping the spark going in your romance means not smothering it by spending too much time together.

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Personal space is vital to being oneself.

25 Questions That Help You Understand Yourself and Unlock Your Potential

    Being able to engage in outside interests is a good way to develop a stronger sense of self, which leads to the discovery of one’s desires and dreams. This is important because it fosters trust and communication between partners.

    Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

    It’s not healthy to spend too much time together. If you’re constantly worrying about whether you (or your partner) is about to say or do something embarrassing with your friends or elsewhere, this is a sure sign that you’re spending too much time together. Another warning sign is feeling like you can’t trust your partner to fend for him or herself without you for an hour. This is a warning sign of a co-dependent relationship, and such relationships can turn toxic very quickly.

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    Separating yourself from your relationship is healthy.

    You didn’t spring into being fully formed. You were a person before you met your significant other. No matter how much you love that person, you owe it to yourself to be an individual now that you’re with them as well. The worst mistake anyone can make in a relationship is to define oneself solely in terms of the relationship. Remember, your parents gave you a name, but you made yourself who and what you are to a large degree. Honor yourself by keeping your own sense of identity within your relationship. “Significant other” is not a name, and it certainly doesn’t relay everything there is to know about you!

    Being individuals will make you both a stronger couple.

    How To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

      Having outside interests and friends is an important part of strengthening your relationship. As long as you’re both coming home to be with each other, you should be free to cultivate your own life beyond the relationship as well as within it. If you’re together all the time, what is there to talk about? You can play the “remember when?” game, but that gets old quickly. It’s much more fun to hear what your significant other/spouse did today, and tell them what you did as well. This keeps communication open and builds a stronger, more loving and trusting relationship.

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      Remember that everyone is different.

      You don’t automatically have to enjoy the same things your significant other does. In fact, trying to force yourself to do so is committing treason against your own person. Don’t be afraid to tell your lover, “I’d really rather not sit through Les Mis again, and I know you don’t enjoy my reading club. So while I’m at the reading club, why don’t you have [insert friend’s name here] over and you can watch it?” This is a reasonable and mature way of reconciling two interests that don’t mesh, so both of you get what you want.

      Having personal space is the key to a successful relationship, and not having it can doom a relationship faster than anything. Remember to give both yourself and your chosen mate time and space to be who and what you are without the other. It may be the greatest gift you can offer one another.

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      J.S. Wayne

      J.S. Wayne is a passionate writer who shares lifestyle inspirations and tips on Lifehack.

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      Last Updated on January 5, 2022

      How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

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      How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

      We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

      Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

      Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

      Expressing Anger

      Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

      Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

      Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

      Being Passive-Aggressive

      This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

      Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

      This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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      Poorly-Timed

      Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

      An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

      Ongoing Anger

      Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

      Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

      Healthy Ways to Express Anger

      What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

      Being Honest

      Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

      Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

      Being Direct

      Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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      Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

      Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

      Being Timely

      When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

      Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

      Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

      How to Deal With Anger

      If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

      1. Slow Down

      From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

      In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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      When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

      2. Focus on the “I”

      Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

      When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

      3. Work out

      When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

      Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

      Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

      4. Seek Help When Needed

      There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

      5. Practice Relaxation

      We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

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      That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

      Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

      6. Laugh

      Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

      7. Be Grateful

      It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

      Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

      Final Thoughts

      Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

      During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

      Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

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      More Resources on Anger Management

      Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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