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7 Reasons To Make Room For Personal Space In Your Relationship

7 Reasons To Make Room For Personal Space In Your Relationship

“You’re smothering me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t even get into the bathtub without you finding six things you need to talk to me about. You’re always texting me when I’m out with my friends, wondering when I’ll be home. There’s always some emergency that I have to go home right now and clean up. I feel like I can’t breathe!”

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“I just want to be around you. Is that such a horrible thing?”

“No…but we need some time apart, too. There’s such a thing as too much.”

Does this sound familiar? If it does, then this article is for you!

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Personal space is a necessity, not a luxury. Being with your partner is great, but neither side should feel the need to be “joined at the hip,” either. Understanding how and why personal space is important is a key to creating a happy, balanced relationship. Here are 6 reasons for you to make room for personal space in your relationship that will help you achieve that balance you crave.

Individuality is important to happiness.

No matter how much you resemble your mother, father, identical cousin twice removed, or anyone else, you are an individual. Being an individual and being able to “do your own thing” means being a happier and more fully realized person in your own right.

Being together all the time can suffocate a relationship.

Everyone needs time to themselves, and to be themselves. We usually try harder to be something “more” than we are when our significant other/spouse is present. While this seems like a good thing, spending too much time together without having outside interests and desires can be the kiss of death for a relationship. Keeping the spark going in your romance means not smothering it by spending too much time together.

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Personal space is vital to being oneself.

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    Being able to engage in outside interests is a good way to develop a stronger sense of self, which leads to the discovery of one’s desires and dreams. This is important because it fosters trust and communication between partners.

    Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.

    It’s not healthy to spend too much time together. If you’re constantly worrying about whether you (or your partner) is about to say or do something embarrassing with your friends or elsewhere, this is a sure sign that you’re spending too much time together. Another warning sign is feeling like you can’t trust your partner to fend for him or herself without you for an hour. This is a warning sign of a co-dependent relationship, and such relationships can turn toxic very quickly.

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    Separating yourself from your relationship is healthy.

    You didn’t spring into being fully formed. You were a person before you met your significant other. No matter how much you love that person, you owe it to yourself to be an individual now that you’re with them as well. The worst mistake anyone can make in a relationship is to define oneself solely in terms of the relationship. Remember, your parents gave you a name, but you made yourself who and what you are to a large degree. Honor yourself by keeping your own sense of identity within your relationship. “Significant other” is not a name, and it certainly doesn’t relay everything there is to know about you!

    Being individuals will make you both a stronger couple.

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      Having outside interests and friends is an important part of strengthening your relationship. As long as you’re both coming home to be with each other, you should be free to cultivate your own life beyond the relationship as well as within it. If you’re together all the time, what is there to talk about? You can play the “remember when?” game, but that gets old quickly. It’s much more fun to hear what your significant other/spouse did today, and tell them what you did as well. This keeps communication open and builds a stronger, more loving and trusting relationship.

      Remember that everyone is different.

      You don’t automatically have to enjoy the same things your significant other does. In fact, trying to force yourself to do so is committing treason against your own person. Don’t be afraid to tell your lover, “I’d really rather not sit through Les Mis again, and I know you don’t enjoy my reading club. So while I’m at the reading club, why don’t you have [insert friend’s name here] over and you can watch it?” This is a reasonable and mature way of reconciling two interests that don’t mesh, so both of you get what you want.

      Having personal space is the key to a successful relationship, and not having it can doom a relationship faster than anything. Remember to give both yourself and your chosen mate time and space to be who and what you are without the other. It may be the greatest gift you can offer one another.

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      Last Updated on December 2, 2018

      7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

      7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

      When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

      You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

      1. Connecting them with each other

      Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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      It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

      2. Connect with their emotions

      Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

      For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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      3. Keep going back to the beginning

      Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

      On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

      4. Link to your audience’s motivation

      After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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      Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

      5. Entertain them

      While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

      Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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      6. Appeal to loyalty

      Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

      In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

      7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

      Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

      Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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