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Common Relationship Mistakes: 4 Simple Ways to Destroy A Relationship

Common Relationship Mistakes: 4 Simple Ways to Destroy A Relationship

It’s been a few months and what was just a fling has turned into a full blown relationship. Now is usually the point where things start going to the dumps and your perfect relationship ends in a fiery cloud of smoke.

This time it’s going to be different. This one is going to be really perfect and you’re not going to make the same mistakes as last time. Just make sure you’re not making any of the following common relationship mistakes or that fiery cloud is going to make its appearance once again.

people break up all the time

    Don’t Stand Up For Yourself

    This is an all too-common habit of both men and women. The same feeling of lack of self-worth is behind this habit for both genders, but it manifests itself differently.

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    Some men think that in order to remain in a woman’s good graces, you have to submit to everything she wants. If they start disagreeing with her, she’ll drop him like a hot potato. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Women want a strong gentleman, not a puppy. It seems as if men believe there are only two choices: (1) the pushover who puts up with everything, and (2) the hyper-masculine a-hole. They vacillate between these two, unable to see that there’s a perfect median. They end up resenting their partner instead of loving them.

    The same is true for women, except women will almost always express their resentment in the form of passive aggression. Don’t do this! There’s no need. A man doesn’t want a woman who can’t think for herself, or who pretends to agree with him and then punishes him with her passive aggressive tactics.

    Accept Sacrifice As A Rule

    Most people are under the impression that love requires sacrifice. Now don’t get me wrong, I know that relationships require work and compromise, but they never require sacrifice. Let me tell you why.

    In any given situation, a sacrifice requires you to give up something you value more for something you value less. When you practice this concept in relationships it breeds resentment and anger. Instead, understand that your partner has had a life before you, and respect that he or she will not and should not change everything just because you asked.

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    For example, if your partner has a friend that makes you really uncomfortable because you just know that they have feelings for your partner you have 3 choices; only one of which will lead to a healthy relationship:

    1. Ask your partner to stop being friends with this person as a necessary sacrifice they must make to stay in a relationship with you.
    2. Pretend like you don’t care until all hell breaks out.
    3. Tell your partner how you feel and see how you can work together to alleviate your fears. Maybe they invite you to become friends with this person, or they decide to not do certain things together, etc. Agree to a course of action that works for both of you.

    You should never feel pressured to sacrifice something you don’t want to give up for your significant other, unless your relationship is worth way more than the sacrifice. Maybe you give up smoking in the house for this person, or move across the country and give up your house because you want them in your life. Remember to do so because you want to and not because you have to.

    Rely On Telepathy To Communicate

    Contrary to popular belief, this is a relationship crime committed by both men and women equally.

    Gentlemen. Please don’t assume that your partner knows that you think they’re gorgeous. Don’t assume that you don’t have to say how much you care about them. They can’t read your mind and if you don’t say it they’ll never know. So remember, say it and say it often.

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    Ladies. I know you think it’s romantic for your partner to know what’s bothering you, but it’s just not realistic or fair. Women want to believe that their perfect partner will just know what’s wrong or, even worse, they’ll know what to do to make it right. Trust me, we know that it ruins the fairy tale, but you’re just going to have to get over it. You’ll probably going to have to tell him when he makes you angry, because he literally doesn’t know. Yes, it’s hard to believe. I promise that he’s not ignoring you or doing something to spite you. He’s clueless. Tell him and then tell him what he can do better next time and how to make it OK this time.

    Ladies and Gentlemen. Giving directions during sex is the only fool-proof way to get exactly what you want. We’ve all just agreed that neither gender is capable of mind reading, so make sure you vocalize what you want and how.

    Slack Off As Soon As Possible

    Now that you’re both comfortable with each other, you start getting sloppy. Everything your partner loved about you in the beginning is starting to fade away.

    Guys. Remember when you were so sweet and attentive? You were romantic and you were considerate. Where did that guy go? Why isn’t he here anymore and how can we get him back? It’s not OK to stop doing these things when you feel you’ve got her in the bag. There’s going to be a gentlemen around the corner who’s going to go the extra mile and you’ll be left in the dust.

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    Women aren’t off the hook either. When was the last time you pulled out something sexy to wear to bed? Has it really been an entire week since you did anything about your hair? Beauty isn’t about looking a certain way. It’s about doing the best you can with what you have and taking pride in your appearance. It sounds shallow, but you can’t expect your partner to be equally attracted to a slob and a lady. It doesn’t work that way. He’ll find a woman who loves herself and who’s willing to take care of herself for longer than 3 months. 

    (Editors Note: This is quite a controversial topic which you may not agree with, if so, how would you avoid these common relationship mistakes?)

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    Last Updated on November 5, 2018

    8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

    8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

    We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

    Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

    Read on to learn the secret.

    1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

    To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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    Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

    Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

    2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

    You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

    However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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    3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

    It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

    To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

    4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

    Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

    This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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    5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

    In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

    Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

    However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

    6. There might just be a misunderstanding

    Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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    Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

    7. You learn to appreciate love as well

    A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

    However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

    8. Do you really need the hate?

    The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

    Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

    Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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