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This Skill We Learned In Childhood Determines Our Happiness In Life, Study Finds

This Skill We Learned In Childhood Determines Our Happiness In Life, Study Finds

Storytelling is one of the oldest ways of human expression, dating back to ancient times. Considering that fact, it’s no wonder that storytelling skills can be of great value even today. According to a research[1] by John Donahue from University of North Carolina and Melanie Green from University at Buffalo, storytelling abilities have an influence on women when choosing long-term partners. The research consists of three studies conducted on 388 undergraduate students (55% women) where they were asked to rate the attractiveness of potential partners whose picture they were shown while providing information about their storytelling skills at the same time. It appears that one of the qualities women look for in long-term partners is the ability to tell a good story.  Why is storytelling so important?

Good story can go a long way in improving relationships

When you are in a long-term relationship, you tend to stop telling stories and end up exchanging ordinary small talks. That can lead to the extinction of all that is romantic, but you want to keep the spark burning. Is there a better way to bond than over telling stories about the moments you shared together? It will help you relive the great moments and remind you why you fell for each other.

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When you hit the rocks in your relationship, telling stories can help resolve the conflict. By retelling your story, it helps you observe it from a different angle and have a better grasp on what has happened. If couples can tell their individual perspectives on a certain event, and then make it into a single story, it helps them create a bond and overcome the difficulties.

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Storytelling can empower both speaker and the listener

It is quite an intimate experience when you share your story with someone. Thus getting recognition from the listener in terms of understanding what you’ve gone through is empowering. In return, sharing your emotions weaved into intimate stories provides an insight to the listener into your real self, which empowers the listener. It creates a sense of mutual trust and understanding.

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How you tell your story can impact your health

When something unexpected or traumatic happens, you try to make sense of it. By retelling your story it will help you cope with it and feel less traumatized each time you share it. Telling your story starts the healing process and it sets you on the path of overcoming the trauma.

Furthermore, how you approach your personal narratives can help you become a happier person. The way you construct your personal story helps you come to terms with your true self, thus it is important to always take a positive approach in telling your story. Even when you ponder about some mistakes you’ve made, approach them in your story as a learning experience rather than a negative experience. By presenting yourself in a positive light, you will be able to envision a positive future and start the road to reach it.

How you can improve your storytelling skills

  • Include real emotions: The best way to capture someone’s attention is to include the real emotions, even if the main narrative is constructed around an unrealistic event. Capturing real emotions will help listeners feel included in the story, and empathize.
  • Follow the basic structure: Your story needs to be crafted so as to have an introductory beginning, a middle with some plot twist, and an end where all the issues resolve and we learn a certain lesson. It also needs to communicate a unique voice.
  • Reminisce the past and look forward to the future: Bring out the great memories you shared with your partner to revive the connection. Also, tell stories about the future events you wish to take place, picturing the great moments you want to share together, and it will help you visualize the direction you want to go in.
  • Practice: As with anything, practice makes perfect. Read a lot to get the ideas from the best.
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Reference

[1]http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/pere.12120/abstract;jsessionid=96F4395E15F191C949C2741AEB01D644.f04t04

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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