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This Skill We Learned In Childhood Determines Our Happiness In Life, Study Finds

This Skill We Learned In Childhood Determines Our Happiness In Life, Study Finds

Storytelling is one of the oldest ways of human expression, dating back to ancient times. Considering that fact, it’s no wonder that storytelling skills can be of great value even today. According to a research[1] by John Donahue from University of North Carolina and Melanie Green from University at Buffalo, storytelling abilities have an influence on women when choosing long-term partners. The research consists of three studies conducted on 388 undergraduate students (55% women) where they were asked to rate the attractiveness of potential partners whose picture they were shown while providing information about their storytelling skills at the same time. It appears that one of the qualities women look for in long-term partners is the ability to tell a good story.  Why is storytelling so important?

Good story can go a long way in improving relationships

When you are in a long-term relationship, you tend to stop telling stories and end up exchanging ordinary small talks. That can lead to the extinction of all that is romantic, but you want to keep the spark burning. Is there a better way to bond than over telling stories about the moments you shared together? It will help you relive the great moments and remind you why you fell for each other.

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When you hit the rocks in your relationship, telling stories can help resolve the conflict. By retelling your story, it helps you observe it from a different angle and have a better grasp on what has happened. If couples can tell their individual perspectives on a certain event, and then make it into a single story, it helps them create a bond and overcome the difficulties.

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Storytelling can empower both speaker and the listener

It is quite an intimate experience when you share your story with someone. Thus getting recognition from the listener in terms of understanding what you’ve gone through is empowering. In return, sharing your emotions weaved into intimate stories provides an insight to the listener into your real self, which empowers the listener. It creates a sense of mutual trust and understanding.

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How you tell your story can impact your health

When something unexpected or traumatic happens, you try to make sense of it. By retelling your story it will help you cope with it and feel less traumatized each time you share it. Telling your story starts the healing process and it sets you on the path of overcoming the trauma.

Furthermore, how you approach your personal narratives can help you become a happier person. The way you construct your personal story helps you come to terms with your true self, thus it is important to always take a positive approach in telling your story. Even when you ponder about some mistakes you’ve made, approach them in your story as a learning experience rather than a negative experience. By presenting yourself in a positive light, you will be able to envision a positive future and start the road to reach it.

How you can improve your storytelling skills

  • Include real emotions: The best way to capture someone’s attention is to include the real emotions, even if the main narrative is constructed around an unrealistic event. Capturing real emotions will help listeners feel included in the story, and empathize.
  • Follow the basic structure: Your story needs to be crafted so as to have an introductory beginning, a middle with some plot twist, and an end where all the issues resolve and we learn a certain lesson. It also needs to communicate a unique voice.
  • Reminisce the past and look forward to the future: Bring out the great memories you shared with your partner to revive the connection. Also, tell stories about the future events you wish to take place, picturing the great moments you want to share together, and it will help you visualize the direction you want to go in.
  • Practice: As with anything, practice makes perfect. Read a lot to get the ideas from the best.
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Reference

[1]http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/pere.12120/abstract;jsessionid=96F4395E15F191C949C2741AEB01D644.f04t04

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Last Updated on October 15, 2018

Why Helping Others Actually Helps Yourself

Why Helping Others Actually Helps Yourself

Helping others: it’s a fundamental part of humanity, bonding together and helping a fellow man or woman. In times of tragedy, the stories of those who help others are inspiring, such as helping the nation recover from national disasters and terrorist attacks. Some men and women even devote their lives to helping others, from the police force that protects our cities, to the fire departments who run into burning buildings, to the service men and women who risk their lives for the common good.

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” ― Anne Frank, diary of Anne Frank

But helping others isn’t limited to these grand gestures or times of tribulation. Helping others can be done each and every day. And contrary to what you may have heard, helping others doesn’t always have to be a selfless act. It’s important to understand that helping others can actually help yourself. No matter what the motivation, getting out and helping others is the key. So in that spirit of motivation, here are 5 reasons why helping others actually helps yourself.

1. Quid Pro Quo

When you help someone, they will be more likely to help you. This is the basic, unspoken agreement that fuels nearly every move. I’ll spend my entire day lugging boxes, but you owe me. It’s much easier to find help when someone knows you’d do the same for them. They may not always live up to their end of the bargin, and you may not either. But if you help enough people and do many good deeds, it will be given back when needed.

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2. Karma goes both ways.

All too often, the idea of Karma is described in a negative way. If you do bad, bad will come find you. But it works the other way too. When you are a good person and help people, good things seem to happen. And while you may not believe in an inter-connected universe that rewards good deeds, there is something to be said about how helping others changes your perspective. When you’re helping others, you will often feel better about yourself, increasing the likelihood that your next experience will be a positive one, rather than a negative one.

3. Doing good feels good.

It’s maybe the most cited benefit of doing good: you’ll feel great. Helping others is a great way to feel better about yourself. Seeing a smile or even tears of joy makes it all worth it. It’s as simple as that.

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4. Good publicity is the best publicity.

People notice when you’re doing good. It may not be the reason you help out, but someone is always watching. Even the simplest gesture can make an awesome impression.

When I was in college, I had a class that helped out at a school for a full day. I worked with a small group of high school students who were incredibly interested in writing, and I had a great time. I asked the teacher if I could come back on my own time and work with these students to finish this project we were working on, to which she agreed.

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I went two more times that week, thinking nothing more about it. Fast forward a few weeks: I received a letter in the mail stating I had been chosen as a Presidential Grant Recipient for the summer and received a $2,000 stipend to work with a group of students and professors on a research project over the summer. I was floored, as I hadn’t even applied. I was nominated by that teacher who appreciated the work I did with her students. It wasn’t expected, but helping others ended up opening a door I never would have known was even available.

5. Helping others looks good on a resume or application.

Is your resume looking a little thin? Does your college application need a bit of pizzaz? Volunteering your time and energy to help others makes your resume and applications look as good as it makes you feel. Hiring managers look favorably on volunteer work and many acceptance committees use it to separate similar candidates. So read to some first graders, volunteer at the homeless shelter, and volunteer at your local Boys and Girl Club. Your resume will thank you.

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Featured photo credit: xavi talleda via flickr.com

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