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How to Show Affection without Looking Needy or Being Clingy

How to Show Affection without Looking Needy or Being Clingy

There’s nothing more exciting than falling in love, right? The honeymoon period of a new relationship is all about getting to know an unfamiliar person you allowed to enter your life, and chances are you want to spend time with them 24/7. It’s romantic, it’s exhilarating, it’s passionate – and it makes you incredibly nervous.

Why? Well, because you can’t be sure what that other person’s boundaries are when it comes to showing affection. If you have an uncontrollable desire to go to the highest building and declare your feelings to the world, you might want to reconsider so you don’t scare your new lover away.

When fear of commitment isn’t something you find familiar, it may be a tad difficult to understand the sensation of uncomfortable feelings that a person might be experiencing – it can be terrifying. That fear of being bound by chains for all eternity is extreme and unrealistic, but you should try to understand it before your relationship ends and you end up wondering what you did wrong.

Investing yourself in such a manner and being enthusiastic to share your whole self with someone is beautiful, and no one should take that away from you. However, giving too much too soon is often a recipe for getting hurt, which is why you should go with a slower rhythm.

The Chemistry of Love

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    If I were you, I would start by getting to understand the physical aspect of what happens to people when they fall in love. Your mind is capable of unbelievable things, and when you start experiencing romantic feelings towards someone, it goes really crazy.

    When you fall for someone, you go through the whole spectrum of emotions, both pleasant and not so pleasant. There’s a whole chemical reaction boiling inside of you, so it should be no surprise that you’re nervous, and that you’re constantly blushing and feeling sort of anxious in a good way. Your heart feels like it’s going to jump right out of your chest all for one reason – adrenalin is being released whenever you’re near that person, or even thinking about them. You don’t have to be into extreme sports in order to get an adrenalin rush – you just need to like someone.

    Getting intimate with your special someone causes the production of oxytocin, the happiness hormone that makes you feel even more attached to someone. You should also know that a rewarding substance called dopamine, which is responsible for people being addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, and even food, is the reason why you feel pleasure when talking to and kissing your new lover. So basically, falling in love is addictive, which explains why you feel obsessed.

    Speaking of obsessed – levels of serotonin significantly drop when a person is in love, which also happens to people who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder. So, we can feel free to conclude that your judgement is clouded and that you’re not thinking straight.

    Don’t Overthink

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      At least, try not to. Thinking too much about whether or not you should do or say something makes you even more confused, and your inner struggle usually finds a way to be obvious, so you end up looking like you’re trying to find the square root of 7,452,789. And when you realize that you look like a dummy, frustration comes knocking on your door.

      This is when your confidence levels significantly decrease and you start doing some things you normally wouldn’t, which usually makes you look like a crazy person. So, get a hold of yourself and try to be realistic about what you think, and what you do, in order to avoid a restraining order.

      Although it may not go this far, seven missed calls and five texts make you look very clingy, and that’s the opposite of attractive. Take it easy, wait for your call to be returned, and stop playing unrealistic scenarios in your mind.

      Don’t Push It If You Encounter Resistance

        You should pay close attention to the amount of feedback you receive. Public affection is one of the most important aspects to focus on here – not everyone is a fan of that, you know. Whether your partner isn’t comfortable with making your relationship official by holding hands or kissing in public, or they generally dislike that way of showing affection, you need to give them space to show or tell you that, and you should be understanding of their decision.

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        You’ll have enough room to smother your partner with love and hugs when you get to know each other properly, so be patient and give it time.

        Direct Your Inspiration

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          Instead of sending “Where are you,” “Why are you not answering,” “What are you doing,” “Call me back,” and “I’m still waiting,” texts during just a couple of minutes, which is the very definition of being needy, you should direct your inspiration to romantic acts, not on being obsessive. If you want to let your partner know you’re thinking of them, be creative with your texts and try to elegantly notify them you’d like to increase your communication.

          So, if you feel like you want to show how much you appreciate your partner’s company, surprise them with a homemade romantic dinner with candlelight and flowers, so you can talk and bond in a pleasant atmosphere.

          Provide some Breathing Room

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            Good things to those who wait, right? I don’t think you should be passive and wait for things to happen to you, but insisting on seeing your special someone every day, twice a day is too much. Instead of placing your focus on quantity here, you should shift it to quality.

            So, when you do schedule the next date, make every second count and fill your time together with various forms of pleasure. If you see too much of each other, your passion might burn out and you’ll get saturated and bored, and that’s something you don’t want to happen.

            Being enthusiastic about a person and wanting them in your life should be nothing but highly flattering to your special someone, but your rush decisions and extreme actions could make them want to run and never come back. There’s a subtle way to express your feelings, and you should do it with tact – it’s healthier for you and your relationship as well.

            Featured photo credit: https://www.pexels.com via pexels.com

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            Last Updated on January 13, 2020

            7 Simple Brain Training Habits to Boost Your Brain Power

            7 Simple Brain Training Habits to Boost Your Brain Power

            Throughout the ages, there have been many beliefs in various tricks to boosting brain power, yet when held up to scientific scrutiny, most of these beliefs don’t add up.

            When I was a child, for example, my mother told me if I ate fish it would make me more intelligent. Of course, there’s no scientific proof this is true.

            Today, there is a myriad of games you can download to your phone that claims to improve your brain’s cognitive skills. While we are still waiting for a conclusive scientific verdict on these, recent studies by neuroscientists at Western University in Ontario[1] and researchers from the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia appear to contradict these claims.[2]

            So, how can we really boost our brain power? Well, it turns out there are a number of simple things you can do that will improve the function of your brain. Here are seven to get you started.

            1. Do Your Most Difficult Tasks in the Morning

            Our brains work at their best when they are fresh and energized after a good night’s sleep.

            If you have a task to do that requires a lot of thought and focus, the best time to do that task would be first thing in the morning when your brain is at its freshest.

            This is one of the reasons why checking email first thing the morning is not a good idea. You are wasting your brain’s best hours on a simple task that can be done when your brain is not at its freshest

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            Throughout the day, you will find the amount of time you can focus for will fall. Your decision-making abilities will also begin to weaken as the day progresses. This is called “decision fatigue” and that means the decisions you make later in the day will not be as good as the decisions you make earlier in the day.

            It’s far better to do your most difficult, creative tasks early taking advantage of your brain’s higher energy levels.

            Try to avoid meetings first thing in the morning and schedule work that needs higher creative energy and concentration.

            2. Get Enough Breaks

            Our brains are not very good at maintaining concentration and focus for much more than an hour. Once you go beyond a certain amount of time, doing focused work, you will find yourself making more and more mistakes. This is a sign your brain is tired and needs a break.

            Taking the right kind of break is important. Switching from working on a complex spreadsheet to checking your social media feeds is not going to give your brain the right kind of break. Instead, get up from your desk and head outside. If that is not possible, go to the nearest window and look outside.

            Your brain needs a break from the screen, not just the spreadsheet, so leave your phone behind so you are not tempted to look at it and just savour the view.

            3. Read Books, not Social Media Feeds

            There are no shortcuts to improved knowledge and you are certainly not going to improve your general knowledge about anything useful by reading social media feeds. Instead, make reading books a regular habit.

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            When you read good quality books, you increase your ability to use the knowledge you learn to solve problems as your brain will apply the knowledge you learned to existing situations.

            Learn about economic theory, history and psychology. All these topics have real practical applications for us all today.

            4. Exercise Regularly

            Humans did not evolve to be stationary animals. You need to move.

            Had our ancestors spent their days sat around, they would not have survived very long. To survive and find food, our ancestors had to keep moving. Our brains have evolved to function at their best when we are exercised.

            In his book, Brain Rules, Prof.John Medina explains when we exercise, we increase the amount of oxygen in our brains and this helps to sharpen our brain’s functions.

            In studies, when a previously sedentary group of people began a light exercise programme, their cognitive skills improve as well as reaction times and quantitive skills.

            This is why you are more likely to find the solution to a problem when you are walking somewhere or exercising rather than when you are sat at a desk in front of a screen.

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            5. Get Enough of the Right Food

            You probably have experienced the afternoon slump at some point in your life. This is when you feel tired and fatigued in the mid-afternoon. This is a result of the carbohydrates you ate at lunchtime, stimulating your body to produce insulin which then causes a drop in your blood sugar levels.

            When you go into an afternoon slump, concentrating for long periods become almost impossible and you just want to curl up and go to sleep.

            To prevent the afternoon slump, try to eat a protein-rich lunch such as a tuna or chicken salad without pasta, rice or bread. Keep some healthy snacks such as mixed nuts and dried bananas around your workspace and when you feel a little peckish, eat a few of these.

            Not only will you avoid the afternoon slump, but you will also improve your overall general health and feel a lot more energetic.

            6. Drink Enough Water

            Your brain is made up of about 70% water, so without enough water, your brain will not function at its best.

            When you are not drinking enough water, you will find your ability to concentrate, make decisions and stay alert will reduce. You will feel sleepy and lack energy. Your brain functions at its best when it is properly hydrated.

            The solution is to keep a large bottle of water at your work station and sip regularly from it throughout the day. This will increase the number of trips you need to make to the bathroom which is a good thing. It will keep you moving and taking regular breaks from your screen.

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            7. Don’t Deprive Yourself of Sleep

            You probably don’t need a long scientific study to convince you that if you are not getting enough sleep, you are not going to function at your best.

            You just need to go a couple of days without getting enough sleep and you feel your abilities reduce. Your decision-making skills become erratic, your energy levels drop and your ability to stay focused on your work diminishes.

            If you want to improve your brain’s ability to function, then start with getting enough sleep. The number of hours you need will depend on your own circadian rhythms, so find what works best for you.

            Six to eight hours is usually enough for most people so make sure you are hitting that number of hours per night as a minimum.

            The Bottom Line

            Improving our brain power is not difficult. All we need to do is develop a few simple habits such as exercising regularly, getting enough sleep and eating the right foods.

            These seven tips will go a long way to helping you to become more alert, able to focus longer and make decisions. All simple common sense tricks anyone can use.

            More to Boost Your Brain Power

            Featured photo credit: Nicole Wolf via unsplash.com

            Reference

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