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How to Show Affection without Looking Needy or Being Clingy

How to Show Affection without Looking Needy or Being Clingy

There’s nothing more exciting than falling in love, right? The honeymoon period of a new relationship is all about getting to know an unfamiliar person you allowed to enter your life, and chances are you want to spend time with them 24/7. It’s romantic, it’s exhilarating, it’s passionate – and it makes you incredibly nervous.

Why? Well, because you can’t be sure what that other person’s boundaries are when it comes to showing affection. If you have an uncontrollable desire to go to the highest building and declare your feelings to the world, you might want to reconsider so you don’t scare your new lover away.

When fear of commitment isn’t something you find familiar, it may be a tad difficult to understand the sensation of uncomfortable feelings that a person might be experiencing – it can be terrifying. That fear of being bound by chains for all eternity is extreme and unrealistic, but you should try to understand it before your relationship ends and you end up wondering what you did wrong.

Investing yourself in such a manner and being enthusiastic to share your whole self with someone is beautiful, and no one should take that away from you. However, giving too much too soon is often a recipe for getting hurt, which is why you should go with a slower rhythm.

The Chemistry of Love

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    If I were you, I would start by getting to understand the physical aspect of what happens to people when they fall in love. Your mind is capable of unbelievable things, and when you start experiencing romantic feelings towards someone, it goes really crazy.

    When you fall for someone, you go through the whole spectrum of emotions, both pleasant and not so pleasant. There’s a whole chemical reaction boiling inside of you, so it should be no surprise that you’re nervous, and that you’re constantly blushing and feeling sort of anxious in a good way. Your heart feels like it’s going to jump right out of your chest all for one reason – adrenalin is being released whenever you’re near that person, or even thinking about them. You don’t have to be into extreme sports in order to get an adrenalin rush – you just need to like someone.

    Getting intimate with your special someone causes the production of oxytocin, the happiness hormone that makes you feel even more attached to someone. You should also know that a rewarding substance called dopamine, which is responsible for people being addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, and even food, is the reason why you feel pleasure when talking to and kissing your new lover. So basically, falling in love is addictive, which explains why you feel obsessed.

    Speaking of obsessed – levels of serotonin significantly drop when a person is in love, which also happens to people who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder. So, we can feel free to conclude that your judgement is clouded and that you’re not thinking straight.

    Don’t Overthink

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      At least, try not to. Thinking too much about whether or not you should do or say something makes you even more confused, and your inner struggle usually finds a way to be obvious, so you end up looking like you’re trying to find the square root of 7,452,789. And when you realize that you look like a dummy, frustration comes knocking on your door.

      This is when your confidence levels significantly decrease and you start doing some things you normally wouldn’t, which usually makes you look like a crazy person. So, get a hold of yourself and try to be realistic about what you think, and what you do, in order to avoid a restraining order.

      Although it may not go this far, seven missed calls and five texts make you look very clingy, and that’s the opposite of attractive. Take it easy, wait for your call to be returned, and stop playing unrealistic scenarios in your mind.

      Don’t Push It If You Encounter Resistance

        You should pay close attention to the amount of feedback you receive. Public affection is one of the most important aspects to focus on here – not everyone is a fan of that, you know. Whether your partner isn’t comfortable with making your relationship official by holding hands or kissing in public, or they generally dislike that way of showing affection, you need to give them space to show or tell you that, and you should be understanding of their decision.

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        You’ll have enough room to smother your partner with love and hugs when you get to know each other properly, so be patient and give it time.

        Direct Your Inspiration

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          Instead of sending “Where are you,” “Why are you not answering,” “What are you doing,” “Call me back,” and “I’m still waiting,” texts during just a couple of minutes, which is the very definition of being needy, you should direct your inspiration to romantic acts, not on being obsessive. If you want to let your partner know you’re thinking of them, be creative with your texts and try to elegantly notify them you’d like to increase your communication.

          So, if you feel like you want to show how much you appreciate your partner’s company, surprise them with a homemade romantic dinner with candlelight and flowers, so you can talk and bond in a pleasant atmosphere.

          Provide some Breathing Room

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            Good things to those who wait, right? I don’t think you should be passive and wait for things to happen to you, but insisting on seeing your special someone every day, twice a day is too much. Instead of placing your focus on quantity here, you should shift it to quality.

            So, when you do schedule the next date, make every second count and fill your time together with various forms of pleasure. If you see too much of each other, your passion might burn out and you’ll get saturated and bored, and that’s something you don’t want to happen.

            Being enthusiastic about a person and wanting them in your life should be nothing but highly flattering to your special someone, but your rush decisions and extreme actions could make them want to run and never come back. There’s a subtle way to express your feelings, and you should do it with tact – it’s healthier for you and your relationship as well.

            Featured photo credit: https://www.pexels.com via pexels.com

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            Last Updated on February 21, 2019

            How to Improve Your Memory: 7 Natural (And Highly Effective) Ways

            How to Improve Your Memory: 7 Natural (And Highly Effective) Ways

            How is your memory? Is your cognitive function as strong as you’d like it to be?

            If not, then you’re definitely going to be interested in the memory improvement tips I’ll be sharing with you in this article.

            Despite what you might think – or have been told – improving your ability to recall information is certainly possible. You just need to know the right ways to do it. (Don’t worry, as you won’t need to make any significant lifestyle changes.)

            So how to improve memory? Let’s dive straight into the first of seven easy ways to improve your memory significantly.

            1. Meditate

            We live in a world of non-stop, 24/7 information. It’s like a waterfall that’s endlessly pouring news, data, facts and figures into our conscious minds.

            Unfortunately, our brains are not designed to absorb this tremendous amount of information. It’s no wonder then, that most people struggle to remember information and recall things.

            Even if you believe you have a good memory and are comfortable with multi-tasking, you’ll also be aware that there’s only so much information your brain can process at one time. And research suggests that the more information and distractions, the harder it is for you to transfer information to your long-term memory.[1]

            Fortunately, meditation can help you out.

            Even if you just meditate for 10 minutes per day, you’ll boost your ability to focus, which in turn, will make it easier for you to remember important facts.

            If you need help in shifting into a meditative state, I recommend trying an app like Headspace – which can assist you to achieve this in a convenient and structured way.

            And don’t forget, meditation doesn’t just have to be closing your eyes and sitting in a lotus position. Some people prefer to simply take a short walk in nature. This clears and calms their mind, and still provides the all-important boost to their focus.

            2. Get plenty of sleep

            If you’re sleep deprived or have not been sleeping well, then I’m guessing you’re not remembering well either. This is because sleep and memory are intimately connected.

            If you have a busy life and regularly find yourself not getting enough sleep, then this will negatively impact your cognitive abilities – including your memory.

            How much sleep should you be getting?

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            Well, according to the National Sleep Foundation, you need a minimum of seven to nine hours of sleep per night. If you get this amount of sleep regularly, then within just a few days, you’ll see a tangible improvement to your ability to remember and recall things.

            Now, I’ll be honest with you, maintaining a proper sleep cycle is not always easy (especially when the latest Netflix series has just been released!). But if you care about improving your short-term and long-term ability to remember things, then it’s critical that you try to get at least the recommended amount of sleep every night.

            Are there ways to hack the sleep cycle?

            Yes, there are.

            Try these three things:

            • Have a fixed bedtime (preferably before 10pm)
            • Don’t eat too late
            • Make sure your bedroom is as dark as possible

            Sleeping is a precious activity. It regenerates your body, clears your mind, and helps with the storing and retrieval of information.

            However, don’t sleep just yet, as I want to tell you about another great way to increase memory…

            3. Challenge your brain

            When was the last time you challenged your brain?

            I don’t mean challenged in the sense of overeating or undersleeping. I’m referring to stretching your mental capabilities through things like crossword puzzles, Sudoku and memory games.

            To expand your memory bank, and to make your recall razor-sharp, you need to continually challenge your brain.

            Feedback from Lifehack readers such as yourself, has suggested that brain training apps are a super-effective way of doing this. Used regularly, these apps can enhance your focus, attention span, problem-thinking ability and memory.

            There are hundreds of these apps available (most of them for free), but I recommend starting out with one of the big three:

            • Peak (Android/iOS, free, 10 million+ downloads)
            • Lumosity (Android/iOS, free, 10 million+ downloads)
            • Elevate (Android/iOS, free, 5 million+ downloads)

            If you normally spend a chunk of your week playing computer games, then instead of shooting and killing your enemies, why not let some of them live – while you put your attention into boosting your brain power!

            Challenging your brain will strengthen your neural pathways and enhance your mental abilities. But don’t just take my word for it, try one of the apps above and see the positive benefits for yourself.

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            4. Take more breaks

            When I think back to my days as a budding entrepreneur, I distinctively remember working all the hours under the sun – and many under the moon too!

            At that time, I believed that breaks were for the weak, and to become wealthy and successful, I needed to shed blood, sweat and tears.

            However, I was wrong.

            Taking regular breaks is the best way to keep yourself productive, creative and alive to opportunities. It’s also the best way to learn new information.

            Let me explain.

            Typically, when studying lots of new information, most people will spend hours reading it – in an attempt to learn and remember the content as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, they’ve overlooked something.

            Namely, extended study sessions are rarely a good thing, as your ability to retain information naturally declines after a certain period of time.

            It’s similar to physical exercise. You wouldn’t attempt to train vigorously for four hours in a row. Instead, you’d take regular breaks to give your lungs, heart and muscles adequate time to recover. Failing to do this will result in muscle cramps and overexertion.

            It’s the same with your brain. If you overload it with information, you’ll suffer from mental fatigue.

            What’s the answer?

            Make sure you take regular breaks when learning new information. I recommend at least a 10-minute break every hour. (You may also want to take a look at the Pomodoro Method.)

            If you don’t want to be as regimented as that, then take breaks as soon as you find yourself losing the ability to focus on the new material. Your brain will thank you – and your learning aptitude will move up a level.

            5. Learn a new skill

            I love this quote, as it’s 100% true – but frequently overlooked:

            “Learning never exhausts the mind.” – Leonardo da Vinci

            From my experience of helping to develop the careers of dozens of Lifehack employees, I can definitively say that participating in meaningful and purposeful activities stimulates the mind. It also reduces stress and enhances health and well-being.

            Let me give you an example of this:

            Imagine you work for a global financial institution in one of their call centers. You take over 100 calls a day – many of them complaints. When you started the job a few months back, you were excited to be in full-time employment and working for a household name.

            Unfortunately, your initial enthusiasm quickly turned into frustration.

            The endless complaint calls began to take their toll on you. And the supervisors irritated you too, as they were far too interested in micro-managing you – rather than letting you work in your own way.

            Now, in the story above, the ending could be that you put up with a job you didn’t like, and led a dull and frustrated working life for years and years. However, an alternative ending is this: you channeled your dissatisfaction in to learning a new skill (computer coding). It took you a year or two to get up to speed, but it allowed you to successfully upgrade your career – and the ongoing learning made the call centre job much more bearable.

            Clearly, learning new skills gives you impetus, focus and something to aim for. Your brain loves to learn, and you should tap into this by always seeking our new information. And when learning becomes a habit, you’ll find your ability to remember and recall things effortlessly, becomes a habit too.

            6. Start working out

            If you’re not already working out regularly, then here’s another reason to do so:

            Exercising for 20-30 minutes three times a week will improve your long-term memory.

            Regular exercise increases blood flow in your body and supplies the brain with extra oxygen and nutrients. And a well-nourished brain is a well-functioning brain!

            “But I just don’t have the time?,” I hear you say.

            Not a problem.

            A research has shown that a daily burst of 60 seconds of high-intensity exercise, offered many of the benefits of the longer exercise routines.[2] So, if you’re short on time – now you know what to do.

            Interested in getting started?

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            Here are five different ways that will help you work out:

            • Join a gym
            • Join a sports team
            • Buy a bike
            • Take up hiking
            • Dance to your favorite music

            7. Eat healthier foods

            I’m sure you’ve heard the expression: “You are what you eat.”

            This applies to your brain too.

            The food that you eat helps determine your brain’s capacity to store and recall information. A poor diet (think junk food + soda!) harms not just your physical health, but your mental health too.

            Fortunately, there are several foods that are especially good for your brain and your memory. These include: blueberries, celery and dark chocolate. But anything high in antioxidants will have a positive effect on your brain and memory.

            Conversely, highly-processed foods and those loaded with sugar will have a negative impact on your memory. This is due to them providing insufficient nutrients for your brain – leading you to easily suffer from mental fatigue.

            Want to be mentally healthy? Then eat and drink an abundance of these for brain health:

            • Turmeric – helps new brain cells grown
            • Broccoli – protects the brain against damage
            • Nuts – improves memory
            • Green tea – enhances brain performance, memory and focus[3]
            • Fish oilfish oil supplements can increase your brain power

            Here’re more brain food options that improve memory!

            Final thoughts

            I sincerely hope these seven memory boosting ways that I’ve covered in this article will be of help to you.

            You don’t need to implement them all. I suggest just trying the ones that appeal to you.

            But, if you’re serious about dramatically improving your memory, then make a start right now on adopting one or more of the ways I’ve suggested. I’m confident you won’t regret it.

            More Resources About Boost Brain Power

            Featured photo credit: Eric Ward via unsplash.com

            Reference

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