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How To Make Engaging Eye Contact For A Great First Impression

How To Make Engaging Eye Contact For A Great First Impression

We look at people every single day, but we don’t always realize how important eye contact really is. We don’t realize all that can be gathered about a person by just engaging in eye contact. Unfortunately for shy people, they are at a disadvantage because they usually have difficulty holding eye contact.

For example, when you are in the middle of a job interview or you are on a date, you want to keep your focus on the person you are trying to impress. I’m sure that you’ve heard before that first impressions are everything. Although I do not agree with that statement entirely, I do think it definitely holds some truth. Imagine being on a date with someone, you’re trying to have a conversation with them, and they are looking at everything going on around them instead of paying attention to you. You’d feel pretty ignored, right? You’d feel as if the person you’re talking to is totally disinterested in what you have to say. It’s an awful feeling, even if they aren’t doing it intentionally.

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I’m talking about practicing engaging eye contact well enough so that you appear to be totally engaged, even if you aren’t. It all boils down to respect, appreciation, understanding and interest in what the other person is saying. If you’re one of those shy people who really struggles with keeping eye contact, or you’re someone who just wants some tips and techniques, we’ll teach you how to make eye contact.

4 clever tricks to make eye contact

1. Imaginary Inverted Triangle

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Portrait of handsome businessman looking at camera

    Some people find it very awkward to stare into someone else’s eyes, so here’s a little trick to help with that. Draw an imaginary triangle on the person’s face around their mouth and eyes. While holding a conversation with someone, change your gaze to another point on the triangle. This will give off the impression that you’re interested in the conversation. Sounds a little silly but it works! Give it try.

    2. Practice without leaving your couch

    Probably the easiest way for anyone to do anything, ever. I mean, you don’t even need to leave your couch. This works really well for those who are shy and aren’t ready to practice on real people just yet. I always like to recommend that taking notice of a person’s eye color is a good place to start. Especially since down the road you want to be able to have reached a point where you can look someone in the eyes and not feel uncomfortable and awkward.

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    When you’re watching a TV show or a movie, every time a new character comes on the screen up close take notice of the color of their eyes, hair, etc. Eventually when you’ve felt like you’ve had enough practice, noticing these things on real people and making eye contact with them will come naturally.

    3. Take notice of their other features

    I’ll be honest, it can be extremely intimidating when looking into a person’s eyes, especially if they’re someone of authority. I have always struggled with eye contact myself. It makes me nervous. I have found that it helps to pay close attention to their features. I take notice of freckles on their face, the color of their hair, the way their mouth moves, etc. Although you aren’t looking directly into their eyes, you’re looking in that general region so you avoid giving off the impression that you aren’t paying attention to them.

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    4. Focus on one eye at a time

    In reality, you can’t actually look at two eyes at the same time. If you try, you end up looking very laser-like. Subconsciously you most likely already have one eye, whether it be the left or right, that you typically focus on. However, it’s still recommended that you switch looking from one eye to another while having a conversation. Truthfully, it looks much more natural and shows more attention and interest.

    As a general rule, direct eye contact ranging from 30% to 60% of the time during a conversation – more when you are listening, less when you are speaking – should make for a comfortable productive atmosphere.

    As with anything, practice makes perfect and over time you’ll become much more comfortable with maintaining eye contact with someone. It’s not just about how to make eye contact with someone, it’s what you do once you have.

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    Erica Wagner

    Freelance Writer

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    Last Updated on September 17, 2019

    10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

    10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

    Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

    But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

    Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

    1. Spend Time with Positive People

    If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

    Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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    2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

    When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

    Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

    3. Contribute to the Community

    One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

    Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

    4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

    Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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    Some recommendations for you:

    5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

    You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

    If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

    There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

    6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

    It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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    Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

    7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

    Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

    Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

    8. Offer Compliments to Others

    Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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    9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

    If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

    Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

    10. Practice Self-Care

    Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

    Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

    Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

    More About Staying Positive

    Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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