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How to Explore Ethics and Values with Your Community

How to Explore Ethics and Values with Your Community

Some believe that truth is generally black and white – either something is true or not. Others insist that truth has many gray areas. Folks disagree on whether it is always moral to tell the truth or whether there are higher morals than the truth. How can you collaborate with others to reflect on meanings and values from a reason-oriented perspective?

Benefits of an Ethics Discussion Meeting

I run a number of such meetings in my role as President of Intentional Insights, a nonprofit devoted to popularizing science-based strategies to reach our goals and succeed at life. You can set up your own ethics discussion, and participants gain a great deal from attending these events:

On the feedback sheets passed around after one of our events, one participant wrote: “I gained greater insight into how other people navigate difficult discussions regarding truth and values, when not all parties agree.”

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Another wrote that now they will “always question ‘my truth’” and will engage in “thinking more about what I hold true.”

A third wrote that “building a sense of community is what I gained.”

Reflecting on purpose, meaning, values, and morals together with others in your community and social circle provides:

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• A venue for reflecting on deep life questions
• A means of building and cultivating social and community connections
• A way to help others, through assisting them in finding clearer answers to life’s big questions

Thus, participating in such discussion groups offers a trifecta of elements to help people gain a sense of meaning and purpose in life. During these discussions, it is especially beneficial to write down how the helpful thoughts expressed by others informed and changed your thinking. Research shows that writing these down helps you remember and understand them better, while also minimizing distracting and unhelpful thoughts about unfulfilled plans.

Organizing a Meeting

If you are interested in attending an ethics discussion meeting, you can often find local meetings online. Humanist Communities often hold such meetings as interfaith, reason-oriented venues for people to reflect in a community setting on life’s meaning and purpose and on their values and ethics from an evidence-based perspective.

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But let’s say you didn’t find one around you and want to organize your own meeting. The first thing that you want to ensure is to create a safe and open-minded environment. Ensure that people listen actively and offer empathy to each other.

To do that, it helps to open the meeting with social time for folks to get to know each other. We used a potluck, so that people eat together. This helps people get to know and become comfortable with each other. Having that comfort helps people trust each other and be vulnerable, which is vital when discussing ethics with each other.

During the discussion, consider the needs of diverse participants, both extroverts and introverts. To ensure they can peacefully coexist, create a moderation structure that gets people to speak one at a time. Prevent cross-talk and back-and-forth in your moderation. Discourage advice-giving unless someone asks for it, and cut debates short. Talk about an expectation of privacy: whatever is said at the event stays at the event.

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Pick the topic in advance, and provide some readings for folks to get them into the spirit of things. Readings will help introverts get into the materials and prepare their thoughts before they speak. At the same time, readings will structure the discussion in a shared setting, providing a baseline for everyone to refer to in their comments.

In our meetings, we had some great discussions on topics such as: celebrations, both traditional and self-created ones; life transitions, such as moving, becoming a parent, and retiring; friendship, including how to develop friendships, how to be a good friend, and how to deal with conflicts in friendships; responsibility, including responsibility to oneself, one’s social circle, and one’s society; meaning and purpose; and many others. Intentional Insights has put together some sample readings and topic plans to get you started.

I hope you have a great experience at your meeting!

Featured photo credit: Richard Foster-CCBYSA 2.0 License via flickr.com

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Dr. Gleb Tsipursky

President and Co-Founder at Intentional Insights; Disaster Avoidance Consultant

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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