Advertising
Advertising

When You Realize You Have Complete Responsibility For Your Life, You Become Completely Free

When You Realize You Have Complete Responsibility For Your Life, You Become Completely Free

You are in your apartment on a Saturday morning, snuggled under the covers. No one is going to tell you to get up. You don’t have to ask your parents’ permission to sleep until noon. Whether you choose to stay nestled under the blankets or throw back the covers and start your day, you are responsible for your own life. When you realize you no longer have to ask anyone’s permission to live and the decisions are now yours to make, you become completely free. Free to stay in bed all day. Free to get up and follow your dreams. You are also free to make mistakes, learn from failures and accept the consequences of your actions.

Release yourself from the blame game

Taking responsibility for your life means that you need to stop playing the blame game. It’s easy to fall into the trap of blaming: blaming the current government for the lack of money in your paycheck, blaming cold tennis balls for a poorly played tennis match, or blaming red lights for your late arrival at work. The time has come to accept responsibility for your actions. Do you need to practice tennis more? Leave earlier for work or take another route? And as for your paycheck, the tax system was established long before the current presidency. Maybe it’s time to look into whether claiming allowances for dependents could reduce the amount of taxes taken from your pay. Maybe you need to ask for a raise or even change your job.

Advertising

By ascribing your faults to others, you are handing over control of your life. The only thing blaming others achieves is to make you feel powerless, a victim of circumstance.

Rescue yourself from the trap of the victim mentality. It will never serve you well in the long run. Do you want to be that person tied to the train tracks, waiting for a hero to swoop to your rescue, or would you rather pop out your handy Swiss Army knife, cut the ropes and defeat the villain yourself? Heroes always have more fun, and they reap the rewards in the end.

Advertising

Also, realize that there are things that are beyond your personal control, such as a snow storm or the outcome of the presidential elections. However, you do have power over how you react to those situations. To paraphrase the words of Charles R. Swindol: Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it. The next time you begin to place the blame elsewhere, stop and think. Shoulder your responsibility. Like lifting weights, doing this will make you stronger.

Build your self-esteem

Becoming responsible for your life and your choices builds self-confidence. It pushes you out of your comfort zone. You are no longer the victim, tossed around by someone else’s whims. As Steve Jobs said, “Stop living someone else’s dream and start living your own.”  When you have taken charge of your life, you have the ability to chart your own course. Owning your destiny is a heady, powerful feeling.

Advertising

Beware the fear-monger

Be aware of the nay-sayer inside of you. Everyone has one: that voice that tells you to be afraid of stuff. “Don’t jump off the high-dive,” the voice says, “it’s too scary; don’t ask that girl out, she’ll probably laugh at you; don’t send in that manuscript, it’s not good enough.” It’s an evil little voice that dwells in the negative zone. It wants you to be afraid of rejection and paralyzed by fear. It is afraid of letting you take control. Don’t listen to the fear-monger inside. Once you gain more confidence, those negative thoughts tend to shrink and the sway of the nay-sayer within diminishes.

Become the captain of your life

Once you understand that you can be free when you take complete responsibility for your life, you will unlock the shackles that have been preventing you from doing things you may have never even imagined. You have control. Total control. You are the captain of your life, and you can steer it in any direction you choose. You can even decide to drop the anchor and not go anywhere at all. Ditch the blame game and choose not to be the victim. Accept that failure can happen. Everyone makes mistakes. Face the consequences and move forward. Dare to dream, and make those dreams come true. Be the hero of your own life.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Jill Wellington via pixabay.com

More by this author

Sally White

writer, artist & blogger

There are 5 stages of love, but sadly most couples stop at stage 3 There Are 5 Stages Of Love, But Sadly Many Couples Stop At Stage 3 40+ Quotes To Read When Everything Appears To Be Going Wrong In Your Life This Innocent Little Comment on a Child’s Drawing Can Kill Their Creativity Why the Less Your Children Have, the More Successful They Will Be in the Future Is Attachment Parenting a Good or Bad Thing for My Children?

Trending in Communication

1 How to Not Take Things Personally for a Happier Life 2 How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life 3 7 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be a Happier Person 4 50 Red Flags You Should Watch for in Your Relationship 5 40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

“Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

Advertising

2. Show Compassion

If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

3. Communicate Regularly

Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

4. Ask for Feedback

Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

Advertising

How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

You Can Find Good Help

It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

Advertising

You Pull Together as a Team

Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

Advertising

Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

Your Career Shines Bright

Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

More Articles About Relationships Building

Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

Read Next