Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 19, 2020

Science Says Delayed Gratification Leads to Success in Life

Science Says Delayed Gratification Leads to Success in Life

How do you stay ahead in a world where systems and standards appear to change overnight? How do you remain competent and original in a job market where it seems more credentials are required every year? How do you actually finish your best work in a world, where people often barely start? Most of all, how do you ensure you can look back on life and know for a fact you’ve lived life to the fullest?

Science shows us there’s only one skill needed to be successful in life: delayed gratification.

Yes, it’s true; countless newspapers and online publications have covered delayed gratification for years now. This may lead you to wonder why I’m covering the topic at all. While many papers and articles have detailed the scientific studies themselves, as well as direct quotes from researchers, few posts on delayed gratification actually equip the reader with concise and actionable tips for everyday use.

This article will not only express how crucial delayed gratification really is but will also break down the larger components into bite-sized pieces of practicality.

Advertising

Where Delayed Gratification Became Famous?

The concept of delayed gratification is best known in association with psychologist Walter Mischel’s marshmallow experiment.[1]

At Stanford University in the 1960s, Mischel and his students used marshmallows to determine how well children could embody patience and hold off for a better option in the future. Kids were given the choice to eat one marshmallow now, or wait 15-20 minutes alone and receive a second marshmallow, simply for being patient. Straightforward to understand, but not exactly easy to execute (at least, not for all children).

The results and follow-up results have been widely published[2] and circulated ever since, documenting that the kids who delayed gratification have done better in virtually all areas of life ever since.

The children who waited for the second marshmallow abused substances less frequently, achieved better grades, experienced greater health and proper weight ranges, built stronger social skills, and had a smoother time handling stress.

Advertising

Patience is a virtue in and of itself, but as Mischel’s experiment proved, patience offers an individual a whole host of long-lasting benefits.

Why Delayed Gratification Is Essential

At its core, why is delayed gratification so powerful and essential? The ability to delay gratification reveals emotional intelligence[3] and these two traits can take you long way in life. More specifically, delaying gratification shows that you recognize a better result is available after a certain amount or type of work is put in. As the old quote goes,

“The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work”

Genuine, lasting success and satisfaction only come as a result of putting in the right kind of work first. It’s easy enough to dream up what you want your life to look and feel like, but it’s entirely different to create a mental framework and then execute when and where you need to. Below, let’s look at three tips on how to optimize your use of delayed gratification.

Advertising

What’s the Situation I’m Faced with?

Getting clarity on the dilemma in front of you will help you assess whether your challenge is really worth it. To be honest with yourself from the outset, and determine if a challenge is worthwhile or not, is the best decision you can make. Look at what the end goal is, take stock of the work required and then decide if you know you’re up for it or not.

Do I Really Want This Result?

If you’ve found a challenge that leads to a highly desirable result, you know it’s time to make a battle plan. Anything worth having comes at a cost, so here’s where we get tactical.

In Mischel’s experiment and subsequent imitations, the children who remained patient often crafted games or tricks to play on themselves to be successful. Some sang a song, others “danced” in their chair, and some even played with the marshmallow without eating it. Regardless of the choice of distraction, the kids found a way to “make time shorter”. They employed some kind of method that made the waiting far easier.

It’s your job to do the same, no matter what your obstacle is. The people who are most successful with their goals are those who find methods of making the work more enjoyable by itself.

Advertising

What Kind of Rewards Do I Associate Hard Work with?

In his absolutely mind-blowing article, ‘Self-Improvement,'[4] author Brian Kim highlights an oft-overlooked aspect of delayed gratification. He points out that the real way to grasp the core of delayed gratification is to look not at the reward structure, but at the work structure.

In other words, when someone emotionally deploys delayed gratification, it’s because they first mentally sized up the work in front of them. Kim points out that delayed gratification users “associate hard work with high rewards.”

Final Thoughts

In order to utilize delayed gratification on the deepest level possible, it’s important to see the work required as a sacrifice that invariably produces an extremely desirable result. It’s not always about focusing on the reward; it’s about enjoying the work that is already necessary.

Featured photo credit: Kelly Sikkema via unsplash.com

Reference

More by this author

Brad Johnson

Top 5 Kindle Author | Author of 10 Books

Science Says Delayed Gratification Leads to Success in Life entrepreneurs 12 Little Known Facts About Famous Entrepreneurs leaders 20 Timeless Characteristics Of Quality Leaders belly fat 9 Reasons Your Belly Fat Doesn’t Go Away And How To Get Rid Of It language Did You Know This Many People Speak This Language?

Trending in Smartcut

1 How to Set Ambitious Career Goals (With Examples) 2 15 Ways to Set Professional Goals (Examples Included) 3 How to Change Habits When You Feel Stuck in a Rut 4 Need Journal Inspiration? 15 Journal Ideas to Kickstart 5 How to Set Financial Goals and Actually Meet Them

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on March 25, 2020

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

How Do You Change a Habit (According to Psychology)

Habits are hard to kill, and rightly so. They are a part and parcel of your personality traits and mold your character.

However, habits are not always something over-the-top and quirky enough to get noticed. Think of subtle habits like tapping fingers when you are nervous and humming songs while you drive. These are nothing but ingrained habits that you may not realize easily.

Just take a few minutes and think of something specific that you do all the time. You will notice how it has become a habit for you without any explicit realization. Everything you do on a daily basis starting with your morning routine, lunch preferences to exercise routines are all habits.

Habits mostly form from life experiences and certain observed behaviors, not all of them are healthy. Habitual smoking can be dangerous to your health. Similarly, a habit could also make you lose out on enjoying something to its best – like how some people just cannot stop swaying their bodies when delivering a speech.

Thus, there could be a few habits that you would want to change about yourself. But changing habits is not as easy as it seems.

In this article, you will learn why it isn’t easy to build new habits, and how to change habits.

What Makes It Hard To Change A Habit?

To want to change a particular habit means to change something very fundamental about your behavior.[1] Hence, it’s necessary to understand how habits actually form and why they are so difficult to actually get out of.

The Biology

Habits form in a place what we call the subconscious mind in our brain.[2]

Advertising

Our brains have two modes of operation. The first one is an automatic pilot kind of system that is fast and works on reflexes often. It is what we call the subconscious part. This is the part that is associated with everything that comes naturally to you.

The second mode is the conscious mode where every action and decision is well thought out and follows a controlled way of thinking.

A fine example to distinguish both would be to consider yourself learning to drive or play an instrument. For the first time you try learning, you think before every movement you make. But once you have got the hang of it, you might drive without applying much thought into it.

Both systems work together in our brains at all times. When a habit is formed, it moves from the conscious part to the subconscious making it difficult to control.

So, the key idea in deconstructing a habit is to go from the subconscious to the conscious.

Another thing you have to understand about habits is that they can be conscious or hidden.

Conscious habits are those that require active input from your side. For instance, if you stop setting your alarm in the morning, you will stop waking up at the same time.

Hidden habits, on the other hand, are habits that we do without realizing. These make up the majority of our habits and we wouldn’t even know them until someone pointed them out. So the first difficulty in breaking these habits is to actually identify them. As they are internalized, they need a lot of attention to detail for self-identification. That’s not all.

Advertising

Habits can be physical, social, and mental, energy-based and even be particular to productivity. Understanding them is necessary to know why they are difficult to break and what can be done about them.

The Psychology

Habits get engraved into our memories depending on the way we think, feel and act over a particular period of time. The procedural part of memory deals with habit formation and studies have observed that various types of conditioning of behavior could affect your habit formations.

Classical conditioning or pavlovian conditioning is when you start associating a memory with reality.[3] A dog that associates ringing bell to food will start salivating. The same external stimuli such as the sound of church bells can make a person want to pray.

Operant conditioning is when experience and the feelings associated with it form a habit.[4] By encouraging or discouraging an act, individuals could either make it a habit or stop doing it.

Observational learning is another way habits could take form. A child may start walking the same way their parent does.

What Can You Do To Change a Habit?

Sure, habits are hard to control but it is not impossible. With a few tips and hard-driven dedication, you can surely get over your nasty habits.

Here are some ways that make use of psychological findings to help you:

1. Identify Your Habits

As mentioned earlier, habits can be quite subtle and hidden from your view. You have to bring your subconscious habits to an aware state of mind. You could do it by self-observation or by asking your friends or family to point out the habit for your sake.

Advertising

2. Find out the Impact of Your Habit

Every habit produces an effect – either physical or mental. Find out what exactly it is doing to you. Does it help you relieve stress or does it give you some pain relief?

It could be anything simple. Sometimes biting your nails could be calming your nerves. Understanding the effect of a habit is necessary to control it.

3. Apply Logic

You don’t need to be force-fed with wisdom and advice to know what an unhealthy habit could do to you.

Late-night binge-watching just before an important presentation is not going to help you. Take a moment and apply your own wisdom and logic to control your seemingly nastily habits.

4. Choose an Alternative

As I said, every habit induces some feeling. So, it could be quite difficult to get over it unless you find something else that can replace it. It can be a simple non-harming new habit that you can cultivate to get over a bad habit.

Say you have the habit of banging your head hard when you are angry. That’s going to be bad for you. Instead, the next time you are angry, just take a deep breath and count to 10. Or maybe start imagining yourself on a luxury yacht. Just think of something that will work for you.

5. Remove Triggers

Get rid of items and situations that can trigger your bad habit.

Stay away from smoke breaks if you are trying to quit it. Remove all those candy bars from the fridge if you want to control your sweet cravings.

Advertising

6. Visualize Change

Our brains can be trained to forget a habit if we start visualizing the change. Serious visualization is retained and helps as a motivator in breaking the habit loop.

For instance, to replace your habit of waking up late, visualize yourself waking up early and enjoying the early morning jog every day. By continuing this, you would naturally feel better to wake up early and do your new hobby.

7. Avoid Negative Talks and Thinking

Just as how our brain is trained to accept a change in habit, continuous negative talk and thinking could hamper your efforts put into breaking a habit.

Believe you can get out of it and assert yourself the same.

Final Thoughts

Changing habits isn’t easy, so do not expect an overnight change!

Habits took a long time to form. It could take a while to completely break out of it. You will have to accept that sometimes you may falter in your efforts. Don’t let negativity seep in when it seems hard. Keep going at it slowly and steadily.

More About Changing Habits

Featured photo credit: Mel via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next