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When You’re Made To Feel Unwanted, Leave And Never Turn Back

When You’re Made To Feel Unwanted, Leave And Never Turn Back

Feeling unwanted is a terrible feeling. It gives you that sinking feeling in your gut and frankly runs you down. When you feel unwanted, you do have a few choices to make: stay and continue to feel unwanted, or leave and never turn back. The choice is up to you.

If you choose to leave because you feel unwanted, you have taken the first step in reclaiming your value and your self-worth. But let’s be honest here, it is easier said than done. However, it can be done. Leaving someone, no matter how much you love them, is a difficult thing to do. When you feel unwanted, it can even be mind boggling when you’re deciding it’s time to leave. Here are a few things to consider.

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What To Do When You Feel Unwanted

When you feel unwanted and you know you’re unwanted, you have two choices: you can either remain in a suffering state or you can choose to move towards living in a beautiful state. Feeling unwanted hurts. It’s painful, depressing, and disappointing. It only leads to you to feel worse off. There is no benefit in remaining in a relationship that makes you feel unwanted. We all aim for and strive to feel a deep human connection, but when you don’t get it from the person you most want it from, it’s time to throw in the towel.

I’m not insisting on getting rid of everyone in your life that makes you feel unwanted, but I want to insist that you can’t make someone love you, you can’t make someone like you, and you can’t make someone want to be with you.

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However, what you can do is choose to love and appreciate yourself. Reaffirm your own value on your own self-worth and believe in all the good you have to offer. Self-love is worth fighting for.

The Struggle When You Feel Unwanted

The struggle of feeling unwanted is overwhelming and can be downright depressing. It’s difficult when all you really want is to be wanted or even loved. Knowing you cannot change someone is the first step. You are not in control of the other person who does not want you. You cannot control how they choose to give you affection, how they choose to communicate with you, and they choose to interact with you. However, you are in charge of how you interact with them and how you respond to them. If you’re unwanted, put yourself first and find your own worth by moving on.

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Feeling Uneasy Is Completely Normal

Should you make the move to invest in yourself and ditch the person that does not want you, you most likely will feel uneasy and anxious. This is not going to be easy, but you can do it! Know that these feelings of uneasiness are completely normal. They really are. Think of how long it took you to get comfortable with the person who made you feel unwanted. Time is our only commodity; you deserve to feel wanted.

Conclusion

Feeling unwanted is never a desirable feeling to have. We all long to be wanted, to be loved, and to be appreciated — these are some of the very basic needs of being human. We long for connection, and when you don’t receive that connection in turn, it’s time to do some soul searching and gather your self-worth.

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We all deserve to feel wanted and loved. Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen — and that’s more than okay. Choose to love yourself and take a chance on you. You’re worth it, and you deserve the bright future ahead of you.

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Tara Massan

Founder of Be Moved, Life Coach and Writer.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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