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The Real Reason Why Most People Cannot Achieve Their Goals (And It’s Not About Willpower)

The Real Reason Why Most People Cannot Achieve Their Goals (And It’s Not About Willpower)

Recall the times you/people around you were so ambitious about the new year resolutions and what happened later. We’re always very determined at the beginning and then frustrated as the goals haven’t been achieved at all. Then, we might blame ourselves for not having enough willpower to persist. But is it the real reason? Or we are lacking something else that’s really important?

What Are We Really Lacking?

Many people confuse goals with strategies. Once they set the goals they think they’ll achieve them, when they haven’t thought about the strategies at all.

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Strategy is just as important when it comes to our goals. Without strategy, we have only the finish line, without the means to cross over it. If you were running a race and you wanted to win, how would you make this happen? You would train, you would work hard; you would come up with ideas as to how best make your chances at winning the greatest.
By definition, strategy is how you endeavor to achieve your goals and make them happen. In other words having goals, and achieving goals, is not the same thing.

How To Strategize?

We must make choices in order to have a functioning strategy. We need to choose and design a plan and set of strategic ideas that best enable us to make it to our destination. You must formulate the route. It is not good enough to simply say “I will run the fastest in order to win”, this is again a goal, and not a strategy and it does not present a physical motion of how this goal will happen. It is the idea versus the practice. And we must make sure that the practice works. We must break down how we are going to train for the race, how we will gain speed, what it takes to achieve more speed, agility, and fitness, and start putting it into practice in order to see if these choices will work, and thus be deemed a success.

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Changing Your Strategies

If, for example, your goal is to lose weight, you will list ways (strategies) in order to achieve this goal. Perhaps you will run three times a week, every week. Perhaps you will cut down on sugar, or start taking the stairs instead of the elevator. At the end of the week you weigh yourself and see if these strategies are working. If you are losing weight, you are on your way toward your goal! If you are not losing weight, however, it is always a good idea to tweak your plan, and revise your strategies. This is just as important in reaching your goal as devising your strategic plan in the first place. By keeping track of our plan, we can see what is working and what is not. In this instance, perhaps you are still eating too much and so the other strategies are ineffective. So you start running five times a week, and cut 25% from your meals. At the end of the week you weigh yourself again and hey presto! Results. You have fine-tuned your strategy so that it is moving significantly toward where you need to be. Your strategy is in motion and it is getting results. This means that your goal is moving forward from an idea, to a reality. And if you stay on track, you should reach your desired outcome – and cross that finish line – in no time at all.

It’s often uneasy to start. An organized program or guide would help a lot. Lifehack Goal Setting System is here for you! 

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What is that?

A hearty system that makes every small progress counts.

How would it help?

For every goal you add, you will receive practical and useful articles that guide you through the process and achieve remarkable outcomes.

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Without health, it’s really hard for us to achieve anything, so why not start from some tiny healthy habits?

Check the below six common goals and click into it to add to your goal.

Featured photo credit: Magdeleine via magdeleine.co

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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