Advertising
Advertising

5 Things to Consider When Moving to New York

5 Things to Consider When Moving to New York

So You’re Moving to New York…

You’re probably excited. You’re probably terrified. You probably hope you don’t run away in a few years. Here are a few questions you may be asking yourself, and the best answers  to make your move as seamless as possible.

1. Manhattan or Brooklyn?

Though Manhattan or Brooklyn used to be the question, the choice is more likely between Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, Staten Island, New Jersey, Westchester or Connecticut now. Though if you’re moving to New York, you probably want to be in one of the five boroughs.

Advertising

Manhattan is obviously one of the most coveted boroughs. It has everything, from restaurants to shopping to nightclubs. This is the center of the hustle and bustle in the city. Brooklyn is considered the second-most coveted. Some even refer to Brooklyn as, “The new Manhattan.” Brooklyn tends to have a laid-back West Coast hipster vibe. More people actually migrate from Manhattan to Brooklyn to go out on a Friday night now than the other way around.

Queens has an industrial vibe yet is its own beast as the largest borough spatially. The Bronx is still a little rough, yet it has plenty of culture; the Bronx Zoo, the Bronx Botanical Gardens and the Grand Concourse are all touristy areas. Staten Island is very suburban and feels more like New Jersey than New York.

2. Broker or No Broker?

Most New Yorkers hire brokers to find their apartments, condos and co-ops. When most outsiders move to New York, they swear they don’t need a broker. Yet they often crack. It’s not a bad idea to find a broker before heading to the Big Apple. Even if you want to try to “go it alone” for a bit, you might want a broker in the long run. The New York City real estate system is set up to favor brokers. It doesn’t cost anything to talk to a broker and start looking at apartments, so try to keep an open mind.

Advertising

3. Apartment, Condo or Co-op?

In New York City, you can rent or own. Apartments are rented and condos are purchased (though many New Yorkers refer to condos as apartments).

Co-ops are in between renting and buying. Most New Yorkers deal with high homeowners’ association (HOA) fees, though. Make sure you ask about HOA fees prior to looking at an apartment. You might also need to ask around about other fees too. If you own an apartment, your HOA fees go to preserve common areas – not your apartment. You’ll still need to pay for those costs on your own.

4. What’s Up with Your Neighborhood?

New York City neighborhoods are ever-changing. They are practically living things. The neighborhood you move into won’t be the same hood in three-to-five years. New York is a transient culture. Nearly 8.5 million people live in the city right now. That number rises every year. This is kind of shocking when you think about how many people move to and from New York each year. Neighborhoods can change fast – which can be good and bad. Tons of factors can change a neighborhood’s flavor.

Advertising

One of the major changes is gentrification, which is the changing of the social and economic climate of an area. Even though gentrification will probably change your neighborhood for the better, it will probably change your neighborhood in ways you do not enjoy too. Your favorite restaurant will close in a year and become a Duane Reade. The only family on the block who has lived here for more than two years will move away.

5. Where are the Subways?

It’s hard for people who are moving New York from “driving cities” to adapt to the walking and subway lifestyle. Plenty of people bring their cars with them. Most people ditch the cars after a few months. It’s extremely expensive to own a car in New York City. It’s equally expensive – and just as annoying – to take cabs everywhere.

Everyone uses the subway. Even wealthy residents and celebrities. It’s just more convenient than a car. Make sure your new apartment is close to the subway – within a few blocks.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Aurelien Guichard/New York City via flic.kr

More by this author

Bethany Cleg

Photographer, Entrepreneur

10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home Top 10 Most Affordable Cities in Southern California 5 Things to Consider When Moving to New York 10 Things That Happen When You Move Across the Country A Step-By-Step Guide To Achieving Mindfulness

Trending in Home

1 10 Small Changes To Make Your House Feel Like A Home 2 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of 3 5 Reasons Why Tidying Your Room Can Change Your Life 4 25 Really Cool Cat Furniture Design Ideas Every Cat Owner Needs 5 Scientists Discover Why You Should Take Off Your Shoes Before Entering Your Home

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

Advertising

Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

Advertising

You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

Advertising

  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

Advertising

Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

Read Next