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Everybody Dies, But Not Everybody Lives

Everybody Dies, But Not Everybody Lives

Does it ring a bell with you — In your first years of college, there’s a splurge out on earned pennies. Then the socially defined ‘norms’ of establishing stability set in, bursting the bubble. Once the rigid 9-5 job set in, you started saving and even walked away from your own moments of escapades. And time trickled away. Days passed by, months passed by and years passed by. When on the verge of a possible promotion, you rationalized all dream procrastinations, making defined norms of stability a security key. Your passion and youth fades out, and your job takes over every segment of your being. Your dreams are set aside for a filled wallets without emotions…

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This is one of the most common regrets people have before they die, recorded in a collection of the most common regrets[1] by Bonnie Ware, a nurse of terminally ill patients with chronic conditions.

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Unfulfilling life leads to more regrets

Many people seem to be living in a trance state of rigid routine lifestyles accumulated over years. These routines lay out a perception of stability, which amounts to an illusion in a fluctuating world. Bland life variety comes from changing television channels or ears out for latest celebrity or politician scandals doing their roundabouts.

Many dreams are unfulfilled due to the fact of not choosing to pursue them. Overworking leads to missing interaction with children and partners. Hoarded capsules of resentment and bitterness all through life because of lacking courage to express the true feelings. Settling for a mediocrity and essence of existence fades out true capability.

Many long for happiness in its true essence, but the fear of change comes with a false presentation of contentment to others and themselves.

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Friendships and connections slip away once life activities capture them in a net of economic hubs and activities. Beneficial old friends come in the limelight in their final moments, and there is regret about not giving friends the necessary attention and time.

Regret comes mainly in the form of what we did not do, and not about what we did

The journey of our soul is an intrepid myriad of a maze with tidal waves life experiences blended in bouts of hurdles and storms. When we are in our twenties we are set in a robust mode to take the launch into worldwide possibilities. There is an outburst of passion and energy to explore every hidden corner of the universe. Exploring should have no limits.

To live life to the fullest, allow changes in the present moment

Decide on what is of importance to you. Focus on yourself, not what others desire you to be. Everyone has an opinion, even society can impose on your ambitions, yet every breath you take is your own life moments. Once you focus on yourself, pieces of the life puzzle come together.

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Your ambitions matter, don’t aim to settle down in early stages of life on an illusion of ‘stability’. Take all the risks you need, do not postpone dreams. There might be danger in risks, but remember that every reward has a risk attached to it. Looking back on years that passed by, the deepest regrets come from risks and challenges not taken.

Your past is an important thread to reflect on the lesson learned to step forward into the future. Plan your future, reflect on your past for lessons learned, but live in your present. By being anxious about the future of struggling with something that happened in the past obstacles are sprouted  in living life to the fullest. Live in the present and do not get straddle in ‘Why did I?’, “Why didn’t I’ syndrome.[2]

There will always be people in your life sphere pointing out streams of your failures. Success comes from persisting through failures. So take action on your ideas creatively, mindfully and with awareness. [3]

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And don’t forget— express your love to your friends and family often.

Reference

[1] Regrets of the Dying, Bonnie Ware
[2] Living in the Moment is Key to Happiness, Planet of Susccess
[3] Journey Of My Soul, Tu Nokwe

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Nena Tenacity

Nena is passionate about writing. She shares her everyday health and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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