Advertising
Advertising

5 Tips on How to be a More Responsible Person

5 Tips on How to be a More Responsible Person

Responsibility doesn’t come at birth. It is something that is acquired as you age, go to school and progress in life. Your sense of responsibility can come from your family members, friends or from something you see on TV. However, you can hear and see a lot of different things, both good and bad. That is why your sense of responsibility depends solely on you. You choose your own behavior, actions and words.

So, responsibility is a skill. You learn it. However, there are different ways of doing so. You shape your personality with your actions. For example, it is you who chooses to be lazy or to get up early every day, or if you want to save money or spend it recklessly. It is about proving to yourself that you can be, and that you are, in fact, accountable.

In the end, again, all of it comes down to your own conscious decision. Therefore, blaming others for your mistakes is out of the question. With that said, here are a few tips on how you can improve your responsibility.

1. Stop making excuses for yourself

If, and when you make a mistake, own up to it. Instead of transferring the blame to someone or something else, say the true reason why you failed to do something. By coming up with an excuse, you actually admit to being irresponsible. Moreover, it makes you a coward. If you cannot complete a task such as making it in time for a meeting or something similar, do not make the promise in the first place.

Advertising

You need to think clearly about what you can and cannot do, in order to avoid having to make excuses for yourself. Even better, when you find yourself in this kind of situation, say why you didn’t get that thing done instead of coming up with a pretty little lie.

2. Stop complaining

    Complainers are usually the people who talk too much and do nothing. They can be big with words, but when it comes to actually doing something about an issue, they are motionless. Alternatively, you could stop complaining and take responsibility into your own hands. If you do not like how a certain task is being carried out, do it yourself or consult with the person who did it wrong.

    By consulting, you offer guidance and a chance to calmly come to a better solution. If you were to complain, those would be just empty, frustrating words coming out of your mouth.

    Advertising

    Also, by always nagging about the world around you, you actually fill yourself with negativity. It seems as though you cannot find anything nice to say. By being negative, you are being miserable. Therefore, cutting down on complaining will bring you to a better mind-set, as well as prolonged happiness.

    3. Learn how to manage your finances

    One of the major responsibilities you will have as an adult is to take care of your money. You will get a job, receive a salary and try to live with it month by month. Perhaps, you will try to put some away on the side, as a precaution; savings are always a good idea. Unfortunately, not everyone learns, or knows how to manage their finances.

    Usually, people spend the majority of their salary before the end of the month. Sometimes, they even neglect to pay their bills because they found some other, usually shiny thing to spend the money on. These are examples of what an irresponsible person does.

    If you want to be taken seriously, and live a normal life, you will need to learn how to deal with money. You should pay all your bills when you get your salary. Then, buy groceries and make a plan on how you will use the rest. You should also have some money in your savings account or, maybe you could invest part of it. Both of these are better than spending recklessly, which can lead to debt and other problems for you.

    Advertising

    4. Avoid procrastination

    id=”attachment_382171″>

    Man playing with model motorcycle at desk in office

      Successful people are hard-working people. In order to earn and succeed in every aspect of your life, you need to work hard for it. Therefore, you need to be responsible. Without it, you will not make it big. The first step you could make towards the top is to stop procrastinating. Stop wasting precious time.
      The hours you spent browsing through the internet, scrolling through social media, or lying around doing nothing, could have been used for better things. For instance, you could have read a book, went for a walk or done a workout. Moreover, you could have finished that project you were far behind on. Anything other than wasting time would be better.

      Procrastination will lead you nowhere. If you have spare time on your hands, use it in a smart and creative way.

      5. Be consistent and keep to your schedule

      Having a routine is good. Routine means order, and this means that you are on the right track. If you are working, try to wake up at the same time every day. Even on the weekends, you could wake up earlier rather than staying in bed until noon. This will give you some consistency.

      Advertising

      Plus, getting up early allows you to have more time for whatever things you had to finish that day. Alternatively, you could just relax and enjoy the day off too. If you are a student, then you should make a habit of studying regularly. Or, if you are living abroad, remember to call your friends and family every week.

      Additionally, you should make a schedule for your work and personal tasks. If a few things are repetitive during the week, keep them that way. Getting off your schedule could ruin your whole routine and leave you off-balance.

      Being responsible means that you are in control of everything you do. You do not let others take the blame, or forget about your friends and family. Also, you should not let laziness overcome your approach to your work. If you are given a task, you can get through it until the end.

      This is what responsible people do. More importantly, they accept every responsibility that is thrown at them, whether it is work or life related. They do not leave stuff half-done or play the victim – no. Responsible people stand strong on the ground, with both their feet firmly planted.

      More by this author

      Djordje Todorovic

      Blogger, Gamer Extraordinaire

      10 Highly-Desired Skills You Can Acquire By Self-Learning 20 Things Smart People Don’t Do (And What They Do Instead) 5 Tips on How to be a More Responsible Person 7 Essential Tools Every Serious Startup Needs 7 Common Struggles of Minimalist Beginners and How to Overcome Them

      Trending in Communication

      1 20 Reasons Why Relationships Fail (And How to Avoid It) 2 What’s the Easiest Language to Learn for English Speakers? 3 How to Deal With Negative Thoughts (the Healthy Way) 4 How to Cope With Empty Nest Syndrome and Be Happy Again 5 How to Increase Motivation When You’re in a Slump

      Read Next

      Advertising
      Advertising
      Advertising

      Last Updated on October 22, 2020

      8 Simple Ways to Be a Better Listener

      8 Simple Ways to Be a Better Listener

      How would you feel if you were sharing a personal story and noticed that the person to whom you were speaking wasn’t really listening? You probably wouldn’t be too thrilled.

      Unfortunately, that is the case for many people. Most individuals are not good listeners. They are good pretenders. The thing is, true listening requires work—more work than people are willing to invest. Quality conversation is about “give and take.” Most people, however, want to just give—their words, that is. Being on the receiving end as the listener may seem boring, but it’s essential.

      When you are attending to someone and paying attention to what they’re saying, it’s a sign of caring and respect. The hitch is that attending requires an act of will, which sometimes goes against what our minds naturally do—roaming around aimlessly and thinking about whatnot, instead of listening—the greatest act of thoughtfulness.

      Without active listening, people often feel unheard and unacknowledged. That’s why it’s important for everyone to learn how to be a better listener.

      What Makes People Poor Listeners?

      Good listening skills can be learned, but first, let’s take a look at some of the things that you might be doing that makes you a poor listener.

      1. You Want to Talk to Yourself

      Well, who doesn’t? We all have something to say, right? But when you are looking at someone pretending to be listening while, all along, they’re mentally planning all the amazing things they’re going to say, it is a disservice to the speaker.

      Yes, maybe what the other person is saying is not the most exciting thing in the world. Still, they deserve to be heard. You always have the ability to steer the conversation in another direction by asking questions.

      It’s okay to want to talk. It’s normal, even. Keep in mind, however, that when your turn does come around, you’ll want someone to listen to you.

      2. You Disagree With What Is Being Said

      This is another thing that makes you an inadequate listener—hearing something with which you disagree with and immediately tuning out. Then, you lie in wait so you can tell the speaker how wrong they are. You’re eager to make your point and prove the speaker wrong. You think that once you speak your “truth,” others will know how mistaken the speaker is, thank you for setting them straight, and encourage you to elaborate on what you have to say. Dream on.

      Disagreeing with your speaker, however frustrating that might be, is no reason to tune them out and ready yourself to spew your staggering rebuttal. By listening, you might actually glean an interesting nugget of information that you were previously unaware of.

      3. You Are Doing Five Other Things While You’re “Listening”

      It is impossible to listen to someone while you’re texting, reading, playing Sudoku, etc. But people do it all the time—I know I have.

      Advertising

      I’ve actually tried to balance my checkbook while pretending to listen to the person on the other line. It didn’t work. I had to keep asking, “what did you say?” I can only admit this now because I rarely do it anymore. With work, I’ve succeeded in becoming a better listener. It takes a great deal of concentration, but it’s certainly worth it.

      If you’re truly going to listen, then you must: listen! M. Scott Peck, M.D., in his book The Road Less Travel, says, “you cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” If you are too busy to actually listen, let the speaker know, and arrange for another time to talk. It’s simple as that!

      4. You Appoint Yourself as Judge

      While you’re “listening,” you decide that the speaker doesn’t know what they’re talking about. As the “expert,” you know more. So, what’s the point of even listening?

      To you, the only sound you hear once you decide they’re wrong is, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” But before you bang that gavel, just know you may not have all the necessary information. To do that, you’d have to really listen, wouldn’t you? Also, make sure you don’t judge someone by their accent, the way they sound, or the structure of their sentences.

      My dad is nearly 91. His English is sometimes a little broken and hard to understand. People wrongly assume that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about—they’re quite mistaken. My dad is a highly intelligent man who has English as his second language. He knows what he’s saying and understands the language perfectly.

      Keep that in mind when listening to a foreigner, or someone who perhaps has a difficult time putting their thoughts into words.

      Now, you know some of the things that make for an inferior listener. If none of the items above resonate with you, great! You’re a better listener than most.

      How To Be a Better Listener

      For conversation’s sake, though, let’s just say that maybe you need some work in the listening department, and after reading this article, you make the decision to improve. What, then, are some of the things you need to do to make that happen? How can you be a better listener?

      1. Pay Attention

      A good listener is attentive. They’re not looking at their watch, phone, or thinking about their dinner plans. They’re focused and paying attention to what the other person is saying. This is called active listening.

      According to Skills You Need, “active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the ‘active listener’ is also ‘seen’ to be listening—otherwise, the speaker may conclude that what they are talking about is uninteresting to the listener.”[1]

      As I mentioned, it’s normal for the mind to wander. We’re human, after all. But a good listener will rein those thoughts back in as soon as they notice their attention waning.

      Advertising

      I want to note here that you can also “listen” to bodily cues. You can assume that if someone keeps looking at their watch or over their shoulder, their focus isn’t on the conversation. The key is to just pay attention.

      2. Use Positive Body Language

      You can infer a lot from a person’s body language. Are they interested, bored, or anxious?

      A good listener’s body language is open. They lean forward and express curiosity in what is being said. Their facial expression is either smiling, showing concern, conveying empathy, etc. They’re letting the speaker know that they’re being heard.

      People say things for a reason—they want some type of feedback. For example, you tell your spouse, “I had a really rough day!” and your husband continues to check his newsfeed while nodding his head. Not a good response.

      But what if your husband were to look up with questioning eyes, put his phone down, and say, “Oh, no. What happened?” How would feel, then? The answer is obvious.

      According to Alan Gurney,[2]

      “An active listener pays full attention to the speaker and ensures they understand the information being delivered. You can’t be distracted by an incoming call or a Facebook status update. You have to be present and in the moment.

      Body language is an important tool to ensure you do this. The correct body language makes you a better active listener and therefore more ‘open’ and receptive to what the speaker is saying. At the same time, it indicates that you are listening to them.”

      3. Avoid Interrupting the Speaker

      I am certain you wouldn’t want to be in the middle of a sentence only to see the other person holding up a finger or their mouth open, ready to step into your unfinished verbiage. It’s rude and causes anxiety. You would, more than likely, feel a need to rush what you’re saying just to finish your sentence.

      Interrupting is a sign of disrespect. It is essentially saying, “what I have to say is much more important than what you’re saying.” When you interrupt the speaker, they feel frustrated, hurried, and unimportant.

      Interrupting a speaker to agree, disagree, argue, etc., causes the speaker to lose track of what they are saying. It’s extremely frustrating. Whatever you have to say can wait until the other person is done.

      Advertising

      Be polite and wait your turn!

      4. Ask Questions

      Asking questions is one of the best ways to show you’re interested. If someone is telling you about their ski trip to Mammoth, don’t respond with, “that’s nice.” That would show a lack of interest and disrespect. Instead, you can ask, “how long have you been skiing?” “Did you find it difficult to learn?” “What was your favorite part of the trip?” etc. The person will think highly of you and consider you a great conversationalist just by you asking a few questions.

      5. Just Listen

      This may seem counterintuitive. When you’re conversing with someone, it’s usually back and forth. On occasion, all that is required of you is to listen, smile, or nod your head, and your speaker will feel like they’re really being heard and understood.

      I once sat with a client for 45 minutes without saying a word. She came into my office in distress. I had her sit down, and then she started crying softly. I sat with her—that’s all I did. At the end of the session, she stood, told me she felt much better, and then left.

      I have to admit that 45 minutes without saying a word was tough. But she didn’t need me to say anything. She needed a safe space in which she could emote without interruption, judgment, or me trying to “fix” something.

      6. Remember and Follow Up

      Part of being a great listener is remembering what the speaker has said to you, then following up with them.

      For example, in a recent conversation you had with your co-worker Jacob, he told you that his wife had gotten a promotion and that they were contemplating moving to New York. The next time you run into Jacob, you may want to say, “Hey, Jacob! Whatever happened with your wife’s promotion?” At this point, Jacob will know you really heard what he said and that you’re interested to see how things turned out. What a gift!

      According to new research, “people who ask questions, particularly follow-up questions, may become better managers, land better jobs, and even win second dates.”[3]

      It’s so simple to show you care. Just remember a few facts and follow up on them. If you do this regularly, you will make more friends.

      7. Keep Confidential Information Confidential

      If you really want to be a better listener, listen with care. If what you’re hearing is confidential, keep it that way, no matter how tempting it might be to tell someone else, especially if you have friends in common. Being a good listener means being trustworthy and sensitive with shared information.

      Whatever is told to you in confidence is not to be revealed. Assure your speaker that their information is safe with you. They will feel relieved that they have someone with whom they can share their burden without fear of it getting out.

      Advertising

      Keeping someone’s confidence helps to deepen your relationship. Also, “one of the most important elements of confidentiality is that it helps to build and develop trust. It potentially allows for the free flow of information between the client and worker and acknowledges that a client’s personal life and all the issues and problems that they have belong to them.”[4]

      Be like a therapist: listen and withhold judgment.

      NOTE: I must add here that while therapists keep everything in a session confidential, there are exceptions:

      1. If the client may be an immediate danger to himself or others.
      2. If the client is endangering a population that cannot protect itself, such as in the case of a child or elder abuse.

      8. Maintain Eye Contact

      When someone is talking, they are usually saying something they consider meaningful. They don’t want their listener reading a text, looking at their fingernails, or bending down to pet a pooch on the street. A speaker wants all eyes on them. It lets them know that what they’re saying has value.

      Eye contact is very powerful. It can relay many things without anything being said. Currently, it’s more important than ever with the Covid-19 Pandemic. People can’t see your whole face, but they can definitely read your eyes.

      By eye contact, I don’t mean a hard, creepy stare—just a gaze in the speaker’s direction will do. Make it a point the next time you’re in a conversation to maintain eye contact with your speaker. Avoid the temptation to look anywhere but at their face. I know it’s not easy, especially if you’re not interested in what they’re talking about. But as I said, you can redirect the conversation in a different direction or just let the person know you’ve got to get going.

      Final Thoughts

      Listening attentively will add to your connection with anyone in your life. Now, more than ever, when people are so disconnected due to smartphones and social media, listening skills are critical.

      You can build better, more honest, and deeper relationships by simply being there, paying attention, and asking questions that make the speaker feel like what they have to say matters.

      And isn’t that a great goal? To make people feel as if they matter? So, go out and start honing those listening skills. You’ve got two great ears. Now use them!

      More Tips on How to Be a Better Listener

      Featured photo credit: Joshua Rodriguez via unsplash.com

      Reference

      [1] Skills You Need: Active Listening
      [2] Filtered: Body language for active listening
      [3] Forbes: People Will Like You More If You Start Asking Follow-up Questions
      [4] TAFE NSW Sydney eLearning Moodle: Confidentiality

      Read Next