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5 Tips on How to be a More Responsible Person

5 Tips on How to be a More Responsible Person

Responsibility doesn’t come at birth. It is something that is acquired as you age, go to school and progress in life. Your sense of responsibility can come from your family members, friends or from something you see on TV. However, you can hear and see a lot of different things, both good and bad. That is why your sense of responsibility depends solely on you. You choose your own behavior, actions and words.

So, responsibility is a skill. You learn it. However, there are different ways of doing so. You shape your personality with your actions. For example, it is you who chooses to be lazy or to get up early every day, or if you want to save money or spend it recklessly. It is about proving to yourself that you can be, and that you are, in fact, accountable.

In the end, again, all of it comes down to your own conscious decision. Therefore, blaming others for your mistakes is out of the question. With that said, here are a few tips on how you can improve your responsibility.

1. Stop making excuses for yourself

If, and when you make a mistake, own up to it. Instead of transferring the blame to someone or something else, say the true reason why you failed to do something. By coming up with an excuse, you actually admit to being irresponsible. Moreover, it makes you a coward. If you cannot complete a task such as making it in time for a meeting or something similar, do not make the promise in the first place.

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You need to think clearly about what you can and cannot do, in order to avoid having to make excuses for yourself. Even better, when you find yourself in this kind of situation, say why you didn’t get that thing done instead of coming up with a pretty little lie.

2. Stop complaining

    Complainers are usually the people who talk too much and do nothing. They can be big with words, but when it comes to actually doing something about an issue, they are motionless. Alternatively, you could stop complaining and take responsibility into your own hands. If you do not like how a certain task is being carried out, do it yourself or consult with the person who did it wrong.

    By consulting, you offer guidance and a chance to calmly come to a better solution. If you were to complain, those would be just empty, frustrating words coming out of your mouth.

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    Also, by always nagging about the world around you, you actually fill yourself with negativity. It seems as though you cannot find anything nice to say. By being negative, you are being miserable. Therefore, cutting down on complaining will bring you to a better mind-set, as well as prolonged happiness.

    3. Learn how to manage your finances

    One of the major responsibilities you will have as an adult is to take care of your money. You will get a job, receive a salary and try to live with it month by month. Perhaps, you will try to put some away on the side, as a precaution; savings are always a good idea. Unfortunately, not everyone learns, or knows how to manage their finances.

    Usually, people spend the majority of their salary before the end of the month. Sometimes, they even neglect to pay their bills because they found some other, usually shiny thing to spend the money on. These are examples of what an irresponsible person does.

    If you want to be taken seriously, and live a normal life, you will need to learn how to deal with money. You should pay all your bills when you get your salary. Then, buy groceries and make a plan on how you will use the rest. You should also have some money in your savings account or, maybe you could invest part of it. Both of these are better than spending recklessly, which can lead to debt and other problems for you.

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    4. Avoid procrastination

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    Man playing with model motorcycle at desk in office

      Successful people are hard-working people. In order to earn and succeed in every aspect of your life, you need to work hard for it. Therefore, you need to be responsible. Without it, you will not make it big. The first step you could make towards the top is to stop procrastinating. Stop wasting precious time.
      The hours you spent browsing through the internet, scrolling through social media, or lying around doing nothing, could have been used for better things. For instance, you could have read a book, went for a walk or done a workout. Moreover, you could have finished that project you were far behind on. Anything other than wasting time would be better.

      Procrastination will lead you nowhere. If you have spare time on your hands, use it in a smart and creative way.

      5. Be consistent and keep to your schedule

      Having a routine is good. Routine means order, and this means that you are on the right track. If you are working, try to wake up at the same time every day. Even on the weekends, you could wake up earlier rather than staying in bed until noon. This will give you some consistency.

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      Plus, getting up early allows you to have more time for whatever things you had to finish that day. Alternatively, you could just relax and enjoy the day off too. If you are a student, then you should make a habit of studying regularly. Or, if you are living abroad, remember to call your friends and family every week.

      Additionally, you should make a schedule for your work and personal tasks. If a few things are repetitive during the week, keep them that way. Getting off your schedule could ruin your whole routine and leave you off-balance.

      Being responsible means that you are in control of everything you do. You do not let others take the blame, or forget about your friends and family. Also, you should not let laziness overcome your approach to your work. If you are given a task, you can get through it until the end.

      This is what responsible people do. More importantly, they accept every responsibility that is thrown at them, whether it is work or life related. They do not leave stuff half-done or play the victim – no. Responsible people stand strong on the ground, with both their feet firmly planted.

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      Djordje Todorovic

      Blogger, Gamer Extraordinaire

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      Last Updated on September 18, 2020

      13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      “We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

      “It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

      Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

      You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

      Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

      1. Take a step back and evaluate

      When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

      1. What is the problem?
      2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
      3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
      4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
      5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

      Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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      2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

      If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

      At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

      Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

      3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

      Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

      4. Process your thoughts/emotions

      Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

      1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
      2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
      3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
      4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

      5. Acknowledge your thoughts

      Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

      By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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      Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

      6. Give yourself a break

      If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

      7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

      A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

      Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

      After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

      8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

      As Helen Keller once said,

      “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

      Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

      9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

      In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

      1. What’s the situation?
      2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
      3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
      4. Take action on your next steps!

      After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

      10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

      A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

      Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

      For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

      11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

      No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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      12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

      No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

      13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

      There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

      After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

      Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

      Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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